103 The Pain Deep in My Heart


I

There is a pain deep in my heart.

Each time I remember, it cuts like a knife.

I once resisted and condemned Christ;

I’ll never forget this lesson of blood.

I believed in God but did not know Him and even resisted Him.

It has left this endless remorse and regret.

I am no different from the Pharisees.

I never thought I could treat God as a man.

II

I believed in the Lord for years but did not seek the truth,

explaining the Bible just to show myself off.

I worked and preached just to sell myself,

serving fervently but only for blessing and reward.

I spent for the Lord just to get into the kingdom of heaven,

shouting about pleasing God but not practicing the truth,

pledging loyalty to God but making a fool of God,

outwardly pious but not fearing God in my heart.

III

God’s judgment and chastisement make me prostrate myself;

for judgement’s revelations I hide my face in shame.

I hate my deep corruption and inhumanity.

Fighting God for position so hurt God’s heart.

For all I have done I should have been destroyed by God,

yet God is patient with me, giving me a chance to repent.

God’s mercy and tolerance make my heart so regret;

I resolve to attain the truth and live as a human.

I’m willing to spend my life for God repaying God’s love.

I will obey God and worship God forever.

Previous: 96 God’s Love

Next: 6 The One Who Rules Over All Things

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