40. It Was Too Late for Him to Repent on His Deathbed
Haiyang City, Shandong Province
Almighty God says: “… if man has a heart that truly yearns for God, then he will not be abandoned by God. Man fails to gain God not because God has emotion, or because God is unwilling to be gained by man, but because man does not want to gain God, and because man does not urgently seek God. How could one of those who truly seeks God be cursed by God? How could one of sound sense and sensitive conscience be cursed by God? How could one who truly worships and serves God be consumed by the fires of His wrath? How could one who is happy to obey God be kicked out of God’s house? How could one who could not love God enough live in God’s punishment?” “Those who willfully stand against the incarnate God shall be punished for their disobedience. Their willful opposition to God stems from their conceptions of Him, which result in their disturbance to the work of God. Such men knowingly resist and destroy the work of God. Not merely do they have conceptions of God, but they do that which disturbs His work, and it is for this reason that such manner of men shall be condemned.”
I came to understand the profound meaning of these two passages of God’s word from what happened to my husband. In 1998, I began to believe in Jesus because of an illness, but my husband persecuted and hindered me all the time. In July, 2000, my husband got rectum cancer. In February, 2001, he had bone cancer. In May of the same year, he had an operation in the hospital, which cost us over nine thousand yuan. During his hospital stay, he also believed in Jesus. God was so gracious to him that he was healed very soon and even could go to work in the field. At that time, there was no supply of life in the church life already. In every meeting, the co-workers repeatedly told us, “The ‘Eastern Lightning’ is a false way. Its followers are deceiving people everywhere. Don’t receive any stranger…”
Since October, 2001, the brothers and sisters had begun to come to my house continually to preach Almighty God’s work of the last days. Because we believed the rumors from the co-workers, we didn’t dare to receive them, much less dare to listen to their fellowship, and we even tried hard to resist it. I remember that once a sister came to my house to preach the gospel, and my husband pulled her out of the house and said ferociously, “What you believe in is the ‘Eastern Lightning.’ It’s a false way! You people don’t keep house but go out every day. You are really mad and bewitched. If you don’t go now, I will break your bicycle.” After that, the sister came to my house many times, but each time she was driven away by him. Once the sister came to fellowship with us again, and my husband said impatiently, “Even if you laud it to the skies, I won’t believe in it. I’d rather die before the Lord than follow your way.” While saying this, he pushed the sister out of the door. Because my husband resisted and blasphemed Almighty God constantly, he incurred God’s anger. In the end of February, 2002, his bone cancer reoccurred, and he was laid up in bed and was weak all over. However, he didn’t wake up, and he even leaned on his walking stick to drive out the brothers and sisters who preached the gospel of the last days. Once a sister brought us a book of God’s word and a tape of hymns, and I accepted them. After reading the book, I felt it very good, so I advised my husband to read it too. After he skimmed through it, he said to me in a disdainful tone, “This book is even worse than a book written by a third or fourth grader. How can it be God’s word?” At that time, two co-workers came again to disturb us, and they spread the rumors, “… If you join it, you won’t be able to get out. If you want to come out, your ears will be cut off, your eyes will be gauged out, and your legs will be broken.” These words made my husband’s heart more hardened and also frightened me into being restless. Thanks to God’s keeping, the sister fellowshipped with me in time so that I saw through Satan’s scheme and was not disturbed away by them.
Through eating and drinking God’s word and having meetings and fellowshipping with the brothers and sisters, I was certain about the work of Almighty God and understood God’s eager desire. So I went out to spread the gospel together with the sister. Outwardly my husband said that he accepted God’s new work, but inwardly he believed the rumors spread by the co-workers. So he tried his best to hinder me from going out to spread the gospel, and he even often opposed my faith in Almighty God. Every time I came back from performing my duty, he was sulky with me, and sometimes his face even turned purple with anger. Once when I came back, he shouted at me exasperatedly, “You mustn’t go out anymore! I’m too ill to live any longer. God has abandoned me. If you don’t want to live anymore, just go out again. Although I’m ill, I still can fix you. As you are mine, you should listen to me, otherwise you will lose your life.” Another time, some brothers and sisters came to my house to have a meeting, and he stamped with rage and said ferociously, “If they come again, I’ll report it to the Public Security Bureau and have all of you arrested…” Even so, the brothers and sisters still advised him with good words, helped him with love, and fellowshipped with him, trying their best to rescue him, but he was ungrateful and always treated them with abusive or vicious words.
As my husband did more and more evil deeds of resisting God, his illness became worse and worse. At that time he had long forgotten God’s grace but only remembered the rumors from the co-workers, and he was completely controlled by Satan and was devoid of humanity. One night, just after I lay down to sleep, I suddenly felt something moving on my arm. I flung my arm aside and woke up, only to see that my husband was about to slash my vein with a razor. When he saw me awake, he said spitefully, “Since I cannot live, you cannot live comfortably either. Let’s die together.” Never had I expected that what he thought about was only evil day and night. His ugly face was completely exposed in the light. My husband tried to kill me but failed. Because of the evil he did, his condition got even worse, and he was in a trance all day long. Considering that he, having enjoyed the grace given by God—coming back to life, not only didn’t know to repay God for it, but instead joined the antichrists in their evildoing, resisting and blaspheming God and maltreating the brothers and sisters who came to preach the gospel, he really deserved to be punished. In the end he came to realize that his being punished by God was the result of his resisting Almighty God, and then he felt afraid. Every day he lived in constant fear, couldn’t sit or stand in peace, and felt as if a knife were piercing his heart, and moreover, he was tormented by illness. He really led a life worse than death. Once, he took a blade of the razor and slashed his neck seven to eight times. I happened to see that and got the blade from him. “What are you doing?” I said angrily. “This way is right,” he said feebly. “Unfortunately I did too many evils, and I have lost all the opportunities to repent…” I remember that on October 26, 2002, when I came back from the field, I saw his face covered with blood. I was so frightened and asked him, “What happened to you?” He said to me with a weak voice, “I bumped my head on the sill. I’ve resisted God too seriously, and God has abandoned me. It’s really better for me to die than to live like this. I don’t want to live anymore.” It was not until he was on his deathbed that he woke up, but it was too late.
On October 28, he died in agony and remorse. Before he died, he asked me to record his remorseful last words with a recorder, “I have resisted Almighty God. Because I resisted and hindered God’s work and didn’t allow you to go out to perform your duty, I was cursed by God. I don’t have the blessing to follow Almighty God. You must follow God to the end, and don’t walk my way.”
Dear brothers and sisters, the last words of my husband are not only sincere advice to me but also to all those who don’t know the work of the Holy Spirit and resist the new work of Almighty God. He could say such words before his death because from the fact he saw that what he had resisted was the true God and that only the followers of Almighty God are the most blessed. He also knew that it was not that God didn’t save him, but that because he had disobeyed and resisted God over and over again, he received the retribution. This is God’s disposition, which is righteous and holy and doesn’t tolerate man’s offense. It was not until he was about to close his eyes in agony and remorse and set foot on the way to the netherworld that he came to realize the truth: The rumors and fallacies from the co-workers kill others and ruin themselves. God is righteous. Whoever resists, condemns, slanders, and blasphemes Almighty God will surely be punished!
I hope that brothers and sisters won’t be deceived by the rumors anymore. Wake up soon! Don’t be like my husband: It was too late for him to repent on his deathbed!