42. The Confession of a Person Who Frenziedly Resisted Almighty God

Zhao Tingting

Xuchang City, Henan Province

A baseless rumor spread that “the people of the ‘Eastern Lightning’ cut off others’ ears or gouge out their eyes.” After hearing it, I, who was foolish and ignorant and without any discernment, began to act as a daring vanguard of resisting God with the Bible in my hand. However, in the years of competing with the “Eastern Lightning,” I not only didn’t hinder the surging waves of Almighty God’s work from advancing, but I exposed my ugly face in God’s light thoroughly and suffered punishment from God. Recalling the past events, I’m really extremely ashamed.

I was a person who adored influence very much. When I believed in Jesus with my parents in my childhood, I adored those superior preachers very much. In 1988, on the strength of the regard of Zhang Meng’en, a senior pastor in our denomination, I became a co-worker in our county. From then on, I had opportunities to enjoy great popularity. With my little “gift,” I swanked and showed off myself wherever I went.

In spring 1993, I heard of God’s work of the last days. After hearing it, I began to blindly condemn it, saying that it was a heresy, and told believers to be on their guard against it.

In winter 1995, two brothers came to my home to preach God’s new work and brought me a book named “The Lightning Coming from the East.” Seeing that it was also about the Lord’s second coming, I drove them away without allowing them to speak. After that, I began to preach wildly in the churches of our county, “The ‘Eastern Lightning’ is a heresy. It is a false Christ coming to deceive people in the name of the Lord.” Wherever I went, I frightened the believers and sealed off the church and instructed them to pray to curse this stage of God’s work. I condemned God’s new work blindly without investigating it but thought that I had “piercing eyes” and could discern it. I was indifferent to the fact that believers were cold and weak in faith, but whenever I heard someone accept Almighty God, I was alarmed and hurried to disturb him.

To keep the brothers and sisters from accepting God’s work, I made ten rules in the churches. 1. No one shall go out without permission lest he be deceived. 2. If anyone has to go out on urgent business, he must find someone to prove that he has no contact with those from other denominations. 3. Anyone who is out for more than two days will have no right to attend meetings if no one can give evidence of his innocence. 4. Don’t receive strangers. Whoever disobeys it and brings trouble to the church will be expelled. 5. Break with any relative of different faith. 6. We can receive the worshippers of idols or Buddha, but mustn’t receive the preachers of the new work. 7. We can abuse the believers in Almighty God. It’s not a sin but a curse to demons. Whoever receives them will be a partaker of their evil deeds. 8. Anyone who has contact with the believers in Almighty God must make a resolution in the church not to have contact with them in future. Otherwise, he won’t be allowed to attend meetings. 9. If we know that anyone has accepted Almighty God, we should report it to the leader. Everyone should keep away from them. Even if they are our parents, we should break with them. Whoever receives the believers in Almighty God is doomed to suffer disasters. 10. All members of the church must set aside time to pray to curse the “Eastern Lightning” and its active followers (its preachers), cursing them to be ill in bed. Whoever doesn’t do so is unfaithful. I used many stern words to terrify the believers and restrict them tightly, so that they were under the “white terror.” During that time, I wasn’t preaching at all in the meetings, but just binding the believers every day.

In summer 1997, Sister Jing in our church accepted Almighty God (her relative preached to her). After I learned of it, I scolded her harshly, “You are so muddled! You know clearly that the ‘Eastern Lightning’ is a heresy, but why did you listen to their preaching? It’s poison. Can you keep alive after drinking it? You are courting death!” Seeing that she bowed her head in silence, I continued, “What is to be done with you? Do you want to be expelled or repent quickly?” Under my severe threat, she cried and said, “You can rest assured. I won’t let them come again. Even if they preach to me again, I won’t accept it. I only hope that the church won’t expel me…” But I still didn’t trust her and said to her, “What if they come again?” She said sadly, “If they come again, I will call you and you can come to drive them away.” A few days later, her relatives really came, and they brought her some gifts. After getting her call, I went to her home in a hurry. There, I saw a man, a woman, and a little girl standing in the yard. The sister was talking to them in a broken voice. When I saw them, I pointed at them and abused them bitterly, “You Satans and demons run about every day to do evil and harm others. Go away quickly! You mustn’t come again to steal our sheep. Get out of here!” Just in that way, I ferociously drove away her relatives (her elder brother and sister-in-law). Now, when I think of this, I really want to slap myself in the face. Judging from my deeds, was I like a believer in God in the slightest? I did so many evil deeds and was utterly conscienceless. I deserved to be cut in pieces. However, the obstinate me still thought complacently that I was very faithful to God.

My heart was blinded by Satan. Under its manipulation, I continued to resist God’s work frenziedly. One day in spring 1998, I was told that Brother Li, who was over sixty, might have accepted Almighty God (his son’s wife had already accepted God’s new work) and he didn’t attend the county-level co-workers’ meeting. I was very angry at that. That evening, I rode my bike along the mountain road for seven to eight li to find him. Then I forced him to go to the meeting place, and scolded him to his face without any enquiry, “You’ve believed in vain in this life. The ‘Eastern Lightning’ has deceived your family, yet you are not worried. Aren’t you afraid of suffering loss then?” Unexpectedly, the old brother said in tears, “Sister, do you think our church is still a church? We bind this today and curse that tomorrow. Did Jesus require us to revile others? And do you think there is still the work of the Holy Spirit in our church? All that we say are judging and frightening words. Is this a church? Isn’t it a den of thieves? We have defiled the temple of God…” Hearing his words, I was filled with anger. “Ah, you really don’t know the immensity of heaven and earth. You dare to openly smear God’s church.” So I drove him away before the meeting was over. And I announced in the meeting that everyone should be on guard against him because he was very dangerous. I was really extremely vicious in resisting God and went further and further away from God.

While I was doing my utmost to seal off the churches and bind believers to resist Almighty God, the power struggle and jealousy and strife became more and more serious in the church. I felt somewhat dispirited at that. “Why is the church in such a chaotic state when I do my best to be ‘faithful to my duty’ and ‘careful in my charge’? I didn’t consider it as the consequence of my resistance against God, but thought that it was caused by the people of the “Eastern Lightning.” So, to resist Almighty God’s work and restore the former prosperous church, I made every effort: I required each church to organize prayer meetings in which all believers must curse the “Eastern Lightning” in one accord. I also made a list of those who had contact with the believers in Almighty God and asked everyone to guard against them. All those who had contact with the people of the “Eastern Lightning” should be cursed by name. No one should receive any stranger. The background of every new believer must be investigated, and anyone suspicious should be driven away… The principle I advocated was this: It’s better to expel one hundred wrongly than let one off.

In competing with the “Eastern Lightning,” I displayed all my “abilities.” Yet, Almighty God’s work didn’t stop because of my “efforts” but became more prosperous. I, however, began to suffer punishment from God because of provoking God’s disposition…

One October morning in 1998, I was sitting beside the running soft sweets mixer (my family was in the soft sweets business), head bowed, reciting the prayer of cursing the “Eastern Lightning.” Suddenly I lifted my head and saw that the big electric machine on the support over two meters high was leaning down. Before I had time to dodge, it fell off and one side of it brushed heavily against my waist and I fell down. I let out a scream and almost fainted… Later, the doctor’s examination revealed that the muscular tissue of my waist was badly injured… After that, I wondered, “This machine weighing several hundred kilos was there for seven or eight years. Why did it fall off suddenly? Did I infuriate God in anything?” I was so numb and obtuse that I, even after much pondering, was still not clear about it and much less know that I incurred God’s wrath because of my resistance against Him.

At that time, jealousy and strife in our church reached the peak. The co-workers were divided, scrambling for power and position. However, the “Eastern Lightning” we cursed all day spread relentlessly like a raging fire. To my alarm, batch after batch of zealous co-workers and believers in our denomination, which claimed as the “No. 1 True Way in the World” and was incomparable, accepted Almighty God’s new work. All that made me puzzled, and I really couldn’t figure out why.

In winter 1998, over one thousand people in the area we shepherded accepted Almighty God (known as the “Changge Incident,” which made the biggest stir in our denomination). To drag these brothers and sisters back, Brother Ding, a co-worker in that county, took some people with him and went to disturb them. After knowing it, I thought to myself, “This is a good opportunity for me to distinguish myself. Why not take the chance to show myself?” Then, I left my good business and joined them in resisting Almighty God. There, we found two motor tricycles and went to disturb them day and night. One day, we were told that a sister had accepted God’s new work and was having a meeting. We went there on tricycles at once. As soon as we entered the yard, I heard the beautiful singing coming out of the room. I rushed into the room and began to condemn and blaspheme wantonly before they could say anything, saying, “Don’t you know that the ‘Eastern Lightning’ is a heresy? It’s the false Christ who takes his seat in the temple of God, proclaiming that he himself is God, and it’s that man of sin prophesied in the Bible. If you join them, you will perish and be destroyed in the end…” I bombarded them with abuse for half an hour. Seeing my ferocious look, they all bowed their heads. When I stopped, a sister over forty stood up and gave me a cup of hot tea, and said gently, “Sister, sit down and have a cup of tea to warm yourself. If we have the truth, we can travel all over the world. Let’s sit down and have a good fellowship.” “Just wait to be destroyed! Who will fellowship with you?” With that, I took the sister away in a huff. Afterward, I hastened to call together all the brothers and sisters who hadn’t listened to the new work for a meeting. In the meeting, I threatened the brothers and sisters and slandered and blasphemed God’s work, saying, “The ‘Eastern Lightning’ is very powerful. If you talk with its followers face to face, a white light will appear before you and make you shiver all over, and then you will be captivated, and cannot be saved as if you had eaten the rat poison. Even if you are saved back, its after-effects will be left on you. So, we should shun them at the sight of them and never listen to them…” I also said, “It’s a mafia, a tool of making money for an American boss. They specially draw in beautiful young people by base means and then take them abroad illegally and will never allow them to return home… Their boss has foreign cars and lives in a villa and is served by specific people. They will be paid 500 yuan for converting a person. Those who convert more people will be given a cellphone. Some of them have even bought foreign-style houses in the city…” I spoke loosely out of nothing and spread hearsay purposely wherever I went. In fact, all those were lies made up by myself. I did so just for one purpose—to threaten the brothers and sisters and hinder them from accepting God’s new work. During the time I stayed in Changge, I also got a book of God’s word and found out all places which I thought wrong, and then took them as handles and wantonly judged and blasphemed it… However, half a month passed, and none of the brothers and sisters who had accepted Almighty God was dragged back. I failed once again in competing with Almighty God.

One evening, I stayed at a sister’s home in Nanxi (a place name) for the night. When I was about to go to bed after shampooing my hair, suddenly my head hurt badly. After about half an hour, my head was unexpectedly covered with sores. I spent an unbearable night. The next day, the skin of my head was itchy tremendously and I felt awfully bad. I was terribly upset and in no mood to disturb God’s work, so I had to go home in dejection. From then on, I kept scratching my head day and night. A year later, the illness spread to my whole body, and it was so itchy that I felt worse than death. In the three years of suffering from the illness, I had gone to many hospitals and taken many kinds of Western and Chinese medicines, but all that was in vain. I spent much money, and suffered bitter, unbearable mental torment. Because of my illness, I gave up many chances of resisting Almighty God. As time went by, the leader labeled me an “unfaithful” person.

On August 14, 1999, I was expelled by the church without reason. The news struck me like a thunderbolt and I couldn’t bear it. I never thought that I would reap such a fruit after more than twenty years of believing in God. I was disappointed, despaired, and in the end I completely broke down. Although I was only in my thirties, I suffered from “heart disease,” “gastric ulcer,” “nervous exhaustion,” and “endocrine disorders.” What’s more, I felt unbearably itchy all over. I really wished to die to end everything. Later, I thought it better to pursue after the world. Unexpectedly, the good business began to suffer loss after I was involved in it, and all the savings of my family were used up in nearly three years. The heavy stress made my diseases worse… I was in an extreme emptiness like a lonely, lost beggar in the cold wind. At that time, I had only one idea: I’ll ask my husband to take me somewhere for a tour and then go to the crematory for a visit, and then end my life. However, just when I was about to get on the bus of “the king of hell” heading toward a path of no return, Almighty God, the King of the universe, stretched out His loving hand and took hold of me…

On December 9, 2001, a brother invited me to Pingdingshan to listen to a preaching and I readily agreed. During the seven days I stayed there, an elderly brother testified to me Almighty God’s new work. I listened quietly and was lost in various thoughts. By quoting the scriptures, the brother told me, “The three stages of work in God’s six-thousand-year management plan is done by one God. God takes a different name in a different age because of the need of His work. In every age, He does His work according to His plan, the need of corrupt mankind, and the schemes of Satan. Man is a created being and has no right to restrict God’s work at all. All he can do is to investigate carefully and receive humbly before God.” Hearing his words, I nodded my agreement. Feeling that I, who was lost in darkness, found the road sign at last, I burst into tears with excitement.

When the elderly brother told me that the work God does this time when He comes back is the “Word becoming flesh” and the “Word appearing in the flesh,” I had notions. It was most inacceptable to me. In our denomination, it was preached that the Lord would come back in a “spiritual body,” not in a “flesh,” and that no scriptures in the Bible mentioned that the Lord would be incarnated the second time. When I asked about this question, the brother smiled and said, “Many scriptures in the Bible mention that the Lord will be incarnated when He comes back, but we didn’t pay attention or heed to them.” Then he found several verses and explained, “‘One’ in ‘One sows, and another reaps’ (John 4:37) and ‘the Son of man,’ ‘suffer many things,’ and ‘be rejected’ in ‘… so shall also the Son of man be in his day. But first must he suffer many things, and be rejected of this generation’ (Luke 17:24-25) mean that God will be in the ‘flesh.’ The ‘Son of man’ refers to the ‘flesh.’ If not, how could He suffer many things and be rejected?” Hearing that, I was fully enlightened and awakened. “In the past, when I preached, I often said that the Lord was coming soon and the Son of man had stood at the door. So the ‘Son of man’ refers to the second incarnate flesh!” Then the brother took out the book of God’s word and read me these words: “God’s saving of man is not done directly through the means of the Spirit or as the Spirit, for His Spirit can neither be touched nor seen by man, and cannot be approached by man. If He tried to save man directly in the manner of the Spirit, man would be unable to receive His salvation. And if not for God putting on the outward form of a created man, they would be unable to receive this salvation. For man can in no way approach Him, much like how none could go near the cloud of Jehovah. Only by becoming a man of creation, that is, putting His word into the flesh He will become, can He personally work the word into all who follow Him. Only then can man hear for himself His word, see His word, and receive His word, then through this be fully saved. If God did not become flesh, no fleshly man would receive such great salvation, nor would a single man be saved. If the Spirit of God worked directly among man, man would be smote or completely carried away captive by Satan because man is unable to associate with God. The first incarnation was to redeem man from sin through the flesh of Jesus, that is, He saved man from the cross, but the corrupt satanic disposition still remained within man. The second incarnation is no longer to serve as a sin offering but to fully save those who were redeemed from sin. This is done so that those forgiven can be delivered from their sins and be fully made clean, and attain a change in disposition, thereby breaking free of Satan’s influence of darkness and returning before the throne of God. Only in this way can man be fully sanctified. God began the work of salvation in the Age of Grace after the Age of Law had come to an end. It is not until the last days, when God has fully purified mankind by doing the work of judgment and chastisement of man for rebelliousness, will God conclude His work of salvation and enter into rest. Therefore, in the three stages of work, only twice did God become flesh to carry out His work among man Himself. That is because only one in the three stages of work is to lead man in their lives, while the other two are the work of salvation. Only if God becomes flesh can He live alongside man, experience the suffering of the world, and live in an ordinary flesh. Only in this way can He supply man of His creation with the practical word that they need. Man receives full salvation from God because of God incarnate, not directly from their prayers to heaven. For man is fleshly; man is unable to see the Spirit of God and much less able to approach Him. All that man can associate with is God’s incarnate flesh; only through Him can man understand all the words and all the truths, and receive full salvation. The second incarnation is sufficient to get rid of the sins of man and fully purify man. Hence, the second incarnation will bring to a close all the work of God in the flesh and complete the significance of God’s incarnation.” Hearing these words of God with authority, I was certain that it was the fact, not falsehood, that “God has been incarnated,” for no one could speak such words.

Then I told him the notion that I had when I read God’s words several years ago. “We believers in the Lord expect every day that the Lord will return on white clouds to receive us. However, the word of God says: ‘People who do not accept the truth, yet blindly await the arrival of Jesus upon white clouds, will surely blaspheme against the Holy Spirit, and they are the race that shall be destroyed.’ Why is this?” The brother answered, “Well, let’s see what God says about it in His words.” He opened the book of God’s word and read these words: “Christ of the last days brings life, and brings the enduring and everlasting way of truth. This truth is the path through which man shall gain life, and the only path by which man shall know God and be approved by God.” “You believe in God, and so you must accept His words and obey His way. You must not just think of gaining blessings without receiving the truth, or accepting the provision of life. Christ comes during the last days so that all those who truly believe in Him may be provided with life. His work is for the sake of concluding the old age and entering the new one, and is the path that must be taken by all those who would enter the new age. If you are incapable of acknowledging Him, and instead condemn, blaspheme or even persecute Him, then you are bound to burn for eternity, and shall never enter the kingdom of God. For this Christ is Himself the expression of the Holy Spirit, the expression of God, the One whom God has entrusted to do His work on earth. And so I say that if you cannot accept all that is done by Christ of the last days, then you blaspheme the Holy Spirit. The retribution that should be suffered by those who blaspheme the Holy Spirit is self-evident to all.” After reading these words, the brother asked me whether I understood them. I said with a smile, “Every word of the truth is so clear! I understand.” And a feeling of awe for God’s word welled up in my heart.

How time flies! It has been more than one year since I followed God’s work. From God’s words of chastisement and judgment, I have known how wide, long, deep, and high God’s love for man is today, known God’s work, and also known that I was foolish and ignorant in the past. This stage of work is indeed so important to the deeply corrupt people today. In the past ten years, I was arrogant and blind and even determined to oppose the “Eastern Lightning” to the end. I was really corrupted by Satan deeply and had no likeness of a man. From the disclosing of Almighty God’s word, I have known that I wasn’t a person who loves the truth but one who adores influence. I was entirely conscienceless because I “beat the drums” for the antichrists and did many evil deeds! As a result, many brothers and sisters who thirst for God’s appearing were deceived because they were ignorant and foolish and had no discernment, and they are still bound by those “rumors,” with their hearts and bodies trampled and wrecked by Satan. I’m too guilty and ashamed to face the brothers and sisters I had bound. My evil deeds led them to go astray, so I am greatly pricked by my conscience. Today, I tell brothers and sisters through my personal experience that God’s disposition doesn’t tolerate man’s offense. I hope that you will wake up soon and come to “listen to the testimony” or “read God’s word.” When you are clear about it and come to realize the truth, you will see that Almighty God we have rejected is actually our longed-for Savior, who is tolerating our ignorance with His large heart and anxiously expecting those in darkness to return soon. Brothers and sisters, drop your notions! God has prepared an abundant feast waiting for us to enjoy.

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50. My Icy Heart Was Melted by God

My name is Zhuo Aiyan. I was born into a Christian family. I began to preach at the age of 12 and left home to serve God full time at the age of 19. I had studied theology and contacted many overseas pastors and missionaries, which I always took as my capital. In addition, as I was very familiar with the Bible, had many years of working experience, and was gifted by the Lord, I always considered myself superior to others.

9. A Confession

Before God I have committed monstrous sins. I resisted the Almighty God’s end-time work by every possible means all along. I even condemned and blasphemed God’s flesh, burned up the book of the Almighty God’s word, and beat, abused, and insulted the brothers and sisters many times who preached God’s new work. However, the Almighty God, who is full of mercy and love, did not put me to death but stretched out his hand of salvation and gave me the opportunity to be saved.


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