79. Almighty God’s Love Is So Real
Daqing City, Heilongjiang Province
In 1990, my wife and I found grace in the sight of the Lord and returned to Him. We both pursued hard, and a year later, I was selected as a co-worker in the Family Church of the Truth. Starting from April 2001, there were people preaching God’s work of the last days to me. In more than two years, those who preached the new work preached to me numerous times. But I rejected them all, for I had long heard from the leaders above that they believed in a “heresy,” a “cult,” and were a group of gangsters. I hated them to the bones, and resolutely refused to accept their way no matter what they said. And I went to the meeting places with other brothers to distribute adverse materials. We wantonly spread that the “Eastern Lightning” was a “cult,” a “heresy,” and a mafia, and they would gouge out people’s eyes or cut off their ears if they didn’t accept their way, and if they wanted to back out after accepting it, they would break their legs. We frightened the brothers and sisters by many alarmist words. As a result, they were so scared that none dared to accept Almighty God’s new work. Moreover, when I heard that anyone in the church had accepted the way, I would go with other brothers to denounce them, and if they didn’t turn back, we would expel them.
In October of 2001, my wife accepted Almighty God’s new work. It was completely beyond my expectation, and I practically foamed at the mouth. I at once found the leader, and then we two questioned her, “Who preached the way to you? We’ve warned you many times that it’s a ‘heresy,’ a ‘cult,’ a ‘mafia,’ which will make you handicapped. How could you turn a deaf ear to it? It would be wise for you to turn back right now before you sink deeper!” However, my wife not only didn’t turn back but tried to persuade us to accept it. She insisted that it was the true way, what we had said were all rumors, not the facts, and we should instead investigate the way. Her words made me even angrier, and I beat her then and there and cursed Almighty God terribly. And I threatened her, saying, “If you don’t turn back, I will divorce you.” But she said decisively, “I’d rather divorce you than not believe in Almighty God! This is the true way, nothing like what you said.” At her words, I tore my hair, and stretched out my evil hand and gave her two boxes on the ear, and I raved wildly against her. Seeing that I was fuming with rage, she didn’t speak again and went into the inner room to pray, tear-soaked. After that, I began to restrict her from going to the meetings. Each time she went out, I would curse her and also blaspheme Almighty God. Although I resisted Almighty God’s work so fiercely, God’s love didn’t leave me. Two brothers came to my home several times in the hope of fellowshipping with me. Yet I didn’t give them any opportunity to speak, but shouted abuses at them, and even beat them if they didn’t leave. Once, I stopped them as soon as they entered the courtyard, and said to them savagely, “What a cheek! Didn’t I tell you not to come to ‘deceive’ me? I’ll never be cheated by you.” One brother said, “Brother, don’t take offence. Please let us finish our words, and you can decide after listening.” I said angrily, “I won’t listen to your deceitful lies. Get lost! My wife has been ‘deceived’ by you people. Don’t expect to ‘blind’ me. Out! Get Out!” The other brother said gently, “Brother, the Lord Jesus we believe in is the true God. If you have God in your heart, you will have the nerve to listen.” Hearing that, I was provoked. “Sure! I have nothing else but the nerve.” I turned around and caught sight of a spade. Then I took it and swung at them with it, shouting, “I’ll show you whether I have the nerve. Get lost if you don’t want to be disabled.” They dodged nimbly. This didn’t slake my hatred, so I ran after them until out of the gate.
In November of 2002, God’s discipline came upon me. Our great black dog killed a villager’s sheep, and I compensated him 500 yuan. Later, our chicken, ducks, gooses, and dog died one after another as if suffering a plague. The ducks even shed tears when dying. I was surprised at that but didn’t care much about it. Later, I saw the surviving gooses, seemingly blind, often hit hard against the wall. I was puzzled, yet I didn’t give it much thought either. After a couple of days, our dog turned up its toes. Before its death there wasn’t any sign. I just saw it fall dead after a few hops. However, all these happenings didn’t withhold me from my evil doings, and I continued to run here and there with my leader to resist and hinder God’s new work. Not long after, I had a severe stomachache and vomited out whatever I ate, unable to take in anything. Doctors in the hospital couldn’t diagnose what was wrong with me. Later, I was bedridden. Lying in bed for days, weak all over, I felt unbearably miserable, worse than death. I thought a lot. “Medicine and prayers usually worked when I had a stomachache in the past. How come they don’t work this time? I even can’t eat anything. Why? It’s strange. Also, the ducks shed tears, and the gooses hit against the wall. Is God warning me that I am blind and don’t know God?” When I thought this way, the pain subsided. At this time, my wife said, “Brother, wake up. You have committed a great sin of resisting and cursing God. God is disciplining you to wake you up. The chastised ones are sons, not bastards. Turn back quickly! Or you will regret it.” As she saw I was silent, she hastened to read God’s words to me. While reading, she glanced at me from time to time. Seeing that I said nothing, she continued reading, “The return of Jesus is a great salvation for those who are capable of accepting the truth, but for those who are unable to accept the truth it is a sign of condemnation. You should choose your own path, and should not blaspheme against the Holy Spirit and reject the truth. You should not be an ignorant and arrogant person, but someone who obeys the guidance of the Holy Spirit and longs for and seeks the truth; only in this way will you benefit. I advise you to tread the path of belief in God with care. Do not jump to conclusions; what’s more, do not be casual and carefree in your belief in God. You should know that, at the very least, those who believe in God should be humble and reverential. Those who have heard the truth and yet turn their nose up at it are foolish and ignorant. Those who have heard the truth and yet carelessly jump to conclusions or condemn it are beset by arrogance. No one who believes in Jesus is qualified to curse or condemn others. You should all be someone who is rational and accepts the truth. Perhaps, having heard the way of truth and read the word of life, you believe that only one in 10,000 of these words are in line with your convictions and the Bible, and then you should continue to seek in that 10,000th of these words. I still advise you to be humble, to not be over-confident, and to not exalt yourself too highly. With your heart holding such meager reverence for God, you will gain greater light. If you carefully examine and repeatedly contemplate these words, you shall understand whether or not they are the truth, and whether or not they are life. Perhaps, having only read a few sentences, some people will blindly condemn these words, saying, ‘This is nothing more than some enlightenment of the Holy Spirit,’ or, ‘This is a false Christ come to deceive people.’ Those who say such things are blinded by ignorance! You understand too little of the work and wisdom of God, and I advise you to start again from scratch! You must not blindly condemn the words expressed by God because of the appearance of false Christs during the last days, and must not be someone who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit because you fear deception. Would that not be a great pity? If, after much examination, you still believe that these words are not the truth, are not the way, and are not the expression of God, then you shall ultimately be punished, and be without blessings. If you cannot accept such truth spoken so plainly and so clearly, then are you not unfit for God’s salvation? Are you not someone who is not fortunate enough to return before the throne of God? Think about it! Do not be rash and impetuous, and do not treat belief in God as a game. Think for the sake of your destination, for the sake of your prospects, for the sake of your life, and do not play around with yourself. Can you accept these words?” (from “When You Behold the Spiritual Body of Jesus Will Be When God Has Made Anew Heaven and Earth” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) After my wife finished reading the words, I couldn’t calm down for a long time, with inexpressible regret and guilt in my heart. These words of God especially touched me: “Perhaps, having heard the way of truth and read the word of life, you believe that only one in 10,000 of these words are in line with your convictions and the Bible, and then you should continue to seek in that 10,000th of these words. …” “… I advise you to start again from scratch! You must not blindly condemn the words expressed by God because of the appearance of false Christs during the last days, and must not be someone who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit because you fear deception. Would that not be a great pity?” “Yes, these words are so sincere! We shouldn’t take the true God as a false Christ because of fearing a false one. We should discern. However, I followed others and believed their rumors and rejected God’s coming. I’m really foolish and blind, unworthy of God’s salvation. O God! I have resisted, condemned, slandered, and blasphemed You this way; I should have perished according to my crimes. However, You didn’t destroy me but advised me to start anew again. Only You have such a great heart and love.” I was suddenly awoken. I understood the reason why those who had read the little scroll wouldn’t drop out. It was because the words were the truth, the way, and the life that people most needed presently. Today, I was also attracted by these words, because they are the truth, God’s personal utterance. Who would reject the treasure after receiving it? I knelt before God, praying in bitter tears, “O God! I have done so many evils. I didn’t accept You, and hindered others from accepting You, and I even beat my wife. I’m completely without humanity. I regret myself to the core. How can I make up for my transgressions? O God, You didn’t treat me according to my disobedience, but still saved me. Your love is so real! I’m resolved to dedicate the rest of my life to bringing more people who truly love You to Your home earlier.”
Later, I attended the church life of the Age of Kingdom. There I saw the two brothers I had cursed and beat, and my face grew hot. The scene when they preached the new work to me came into my mind. “I cursed and beat them, but they never retaliated. They are truly believers in God. What am I?” I was extremely ashamed of myself. I also reflected that each time after our former leader came back from work in the churches, he would perform for us how they beat the heads of the people of the “Eastern Lightning” in with sticks and spades, how they almost broke their legs, and how they reported them to the police after beating them. Thinking of those, I felt so disgusted with their doings. And I really regretted not having discernment at that time and even applauding them. I was too blind! I saw the brothers and sisters there all had normal humanity, who were by no means like the members of a mafia as had been said. Had they been a mafia, could they have allowed us to curse and beat them and live until now? It was actually we who almost broke their legs. We were thieves crying “stop thief,” purely blatant liars. Now I saw the facts. I would never believe those lies anymore. I made a resolution to accept Almighty God’s teaching and start with a new sheet to comfort God’s heart.
Dear brothers and sisters, God’s thoughts are always higher than man’s, God’s wisdom is unfathomable to man, and God’s work always counters man’s notions. If we don’t put aside our old notions, we can only be the accomplice of Satan and resist God, thereby falling into darkness weeping and gnashing our teeth evermore. Now the Lord Jesus has returned to the world and done a new work. This is absolutely true! Even though He is not a spiritual body, not in the image of a Jew, no longer called Jesus, and only speaks word, He is the incarnation of the truth, the symbol of righteousness and the highest authority. He is the slaughtered Lamb, the Lion loaded with wrath. He has opened the little scroll and brought us the way to be holy. Only He can bring mankind into the pleasant destination.