● Principles on the Coordination and Marriage Between Men and Women
How do you think you can attain practicing the truth in coordination between men and women? What principles need to be determined? This is a practical example. Some people are corrupted and get filthy inclinations and thoughts as soon as they come into contact with the opposite sex, and some people are able to be a little more normal. People with normal humanity are able to see these things clearly and accurately, so they can deal with it properly; if someone doesn’t have the proper viewpoints, then they are quite stubborn and nefarious in the way they view this matter, and there is no way to control their inclinations or their thoughts, so much so that they act on them. Think about when you see someone of the opposite sex and have some lewd thoughts, how do you deal with this problem? At the very least you must first respect marriage. If the person has a husband (or wife), then you need to respect this person’s marriage. You cannot interfere with someone’s marriage; to respect others is to respect yourself, if you do not respect others then you do not respect yourself. If you respect others then others will respect you. If in your heart you do not respect marriage then you do not have humanity. If you are able to respect marriage, if you are able to love others and respect others, then you will not do things that harm others. If you are able to refuse someone even when they throw themselves into your arms, then you are dealing with things properly. What must you be equipped with to be able to refuse these temptations and seductions? You must be equipped with the truth, then you will be able to see these things very clearly. After you are able to clearly see the substance of this issue, then you will know what kind of harm the actions on your part will bring to others, you will know what kind of injuries others suffer from in their hearts, you will know to what extent you’ve wrecked someone’s personality, and once you understand these things you will no longer act in ways that cause them; whenever these kinds of thoughts and ideas come into your mind you will be able to reject them, you will not be interested in them, you will not pay attention to them, because they will not sway your heart. So then, what kind of people are affected by these wicked and corrupting ideas? They affect people who do not possess the truth, who have evil natures. These kinds of people do not consider the consequences whenever they do things. They don’t know what harm their actions will bring to others. They do not see clearly to what extent their humanity will be lost or how much they will be corrupted by doing the things they do. They don’t feel that what they’re doing is bad, they feel it is quite normal. In particular, they view the things they do as very ordinary, they feel as if it’s reasonable. These kinds of people truly are in danger. They’re no different from beasts. You’ve all seen that all kinds of animals mate with each other as they please in broad daylight. So when someone sees another person of the opposite sex and makes advances toward them and is capable of taking whatever actions they want, how are they any different from the animals? In addition, if someone sees someone else of the opposite sex and filthy thoughts and ideas start to arise, if their minds don’t stop racing to the point that they’re so disturbed that they aren’t able to be in contact with others, if they aren’t able to have normal conversations with others, these kinds of people don’t have normal humanity. If someone is mindful of their duties in their heart, then when these small thoughts creep into their head they will not affect them, and these thoughts will not arise often, because there is no use for them to arise. How would these thoughts be able to arise if you don’t think about them? If you do not accept these things in your heart, then they will disappear from your mind before they have a chance to sprout. If someone is of a dignified and upright mind and possesses the truth, then these filthy thoughts will enter their minds less and less, and they will disappear before they even have a chance to sprout. And since in your normal thoughts these things come up so infrequently then these ideas will appear less as well. Whatever ideas you think about all the time will certainly become more active and you will have them more often, this is a regular pattern. So how do you feel about these things now? Do you have a genuine viewpoint? Have you seen clearly into the substance of this matter? If you really do understand the truth and are able to see these things clearly then you will not have these thoughts in your mind. So wouldn’t these thoughts come up less and less frequently? So, if someone truly understands the truth in his mind, if he is able to properly deal with marriages, then he will not have so many ideas about these things. When he sees the opposite sex he won’t have those dirty thoughts. How does he view others? They are all ordinary people, they are all part of the corrupt human race, different in outward appearance and in what they wear, but all the same in substance and in nature. No matter who he looks at they are not lofty. Isn’t this much better? No matter who he looks at they are all a part of the normal human race, the only difference is in who pursues the truth and who doesn’t pursue the truth, who possesses humanity and who doesn’t. He talks a little more with those who are of somewhat better humanity and who actually pursue the truth, and he does not pay attention to those who do not really pursue the truth and who do not possess humanity. He does not have so many disorderly thoughts. So when it comes to coordination between men and women, if people really possess the truth, there won’t be any problem. Do you still have difficulties when it comes to coordination between men and women? Not anymore. You know how to solve them. If you are of small spiritual stature, if you’re really young, then do not coordinate with one opposite sex, for there are great temptations when it comes to coordinating one on one, it’s better to have two men and one woman or two women and one man to coordinate together; this is especially true when it comes to those of you who are not yet married, you should not coordinate together one on one. For those who are married, there are special circumstances where there won’t be any problem when a man and a woman get together to talk about their work, but this shouldn’t happen too often, and it shouldn’t last for too long. In addition, in special circumstances where men and women are conversing they should not get too close to each other. No closer than a meter to each other. If when the distance between you is increased you still have inclinations and ideas then quickly pray to get closer to God. Then, declare to God that you hate your flesh, that you hate your corruption, that you forsake Satan, and that you forsake wickedness. Pray in this way, and you will feel much better. This is what you must do in order to deal with your corrupt flesh. You must have reason, and you must consider whether or not what you do will benefit others, you must give thought to others. If someone else wants to chase after you, if they want to be your partner, what will you do? You must have reason. Suppose someone does not have a partner and yet you have. What are you going to do if they want to be your partner? You must think of others. Do not trap others. If someone else thinks highly of you, if they think you’re lofty and if they really adore you, then show them your true features, tell them: “I am a corrupt person, I do not have much humanity, and I have many flaws. Whoever is by my side in life will suffer many hardships, there will be suffering, and you truly do not understand me.” If you speak to this person in this way, then they will know your weak points, they will know how corrupt you are, they will understand that you will cause them suffering, and they will renounce you. Everyone has an inquisitive mind, they rely on their own imaginations to blindly pursue you, but you must not trap them. You ought to think of others. This is the conscience and reason that man ought to be equipped with.
When you thoroughly understand mankind, what differences are there in the ways that it is corrupt? All the thoughts and feelings that men have pretty much express the same thing, there isn’t much difference. When you thoroughly understand these things then you don’t get confusing ideas in your head. Some people say: Hey, this person isn’t so bad, it wouldn’t be so bad if I married them. It doesn’t matter who you marry, it’s all the same, and the corrupt human race is all more or less the same. One’s 5 times 8, and the other’s 40. People always like the new and hate the old, but really there is nothing new or old, and people’s substance and nature are all more or less the same. If you pick out something new, won’t it just feel old after a few days? After wearing new clothes for a while don’t they feel old? Are you really going to replace everything that’s old? Wouldn’t that be abnormal? You must see these things clearly. If you do not possess the truth then you won’t be able to see anything clearly. What problems can novelty solve? What advantage does novelty bring to people? After you experience a novel situation, will it forever remain novel? Novelty can only satisfy you for a short while, so isn’t it really quite empty? There is no advantage to it. It’s a facade that tricks people. If you understand this clearly, then you will not think about taking up with this person or that, for if you do not possess the truth then no matter who you take up with it will be meaningless. If you’re together with them then perhaps three and a half days will feel fresh, but as time goes by everything will start to feel like suffering and you won’t have any strength. Isn’t this how it goes? Some people say: “This person I was married to is really ugly, and if I could swap them for someone good-looking then surely I would feel happier.” Is this the right way to think? Go after someone good-looking, and try it out for a couple of days. It’s quite possible you will go through more suffering, and then if they go off with someone else, acting dissolutely, and in the end other people kill you, that’s even more troublesome, and you’d lose your life. Are the good-looking people who live in this world temptations? They’re femme fatales. How many people have lost their lives in search of a beautiful wife? A lot. So when you’re searching for a wife, if she’s a little ugly, if she’s simpler, then that’s a good thing. As the proverb says, “an ugly wife is a treasure at home,” because no one will be concerned with her. Do you understand? If you look for a really beautiful wife, then she’ll keep making herself look pretty and will attract attention, which will bring about many devils. This will bring endless disasters to you. You’ve seen that people in their 20s and 30s who don’t believe in God act like fools. “Oh man, my partner has to be good looking.” It’s not until they believe in God and understand the truth that they’ll come to realize: “Oh man, how could I have been so ignorant, how was I such a fool?” In addition, what kind of disposition and attitude does a man or woman who’s good-looking have? Good-looking people are superficial, they’re arrogant, they look down on others, and also, they’re flirtatious and like to show off. When they start to show off, they will not go down the right path. So, if the corrupt human race doesn’t pursue the truth, it will be even more troublesome for someone who is good-looking. This is an eternal disaster, but if they were to pursue the truth they could rescue themselves. People who now believe in God and understand the truth say: “It’s all good no matter what my appearance looks like. Luckily I’m not so good-looking, that would be so troublesome, for now I feel that all that God does is good.” For example, if you are normal-looking and live in a poor home, do you blame God? You ought to thank God! Some people don’t have good jobs, they toil all day long. How should they feel? It’s also good, for all the suffering that they endure is by the gracious will of God. It’s all good. If you come from a rich family, and graduate from college and are good-looking and have a good physique then you will have lots of troubles. Mankind has been deeply corrupted, which has caused many temptations. Your life will be so tiresome that in the end you will die from exhaustion. So is it a good thing to be ugly? It’s not necessarily a good thing to look ugly, for if you’re so ugly that you look like the devil that’s not a good thing. It’s best to look normal. If people just think you look human when they look at you that’s good. Everything is by the gracious will of God, you might not have known it at the time and complained to God, but now you understand, now all you do is thank God incessantly. People must treat marriage properly. Whoever suits you, what their circumstances are, whether or not they are married, these are all things you must consider. Do not pursue things blindly, do not always cling to fantasies. Treat marriage properly, for it lasts for a lifetime. People are all more or less the same, the level of their corruption is all more or less the same, and there is no big difference. If today you had a life with Joey whoever, whatever it was like, it would be the same tomorrow with Johnny so-and-so, the humanity of these two people would be more or less the same. If you see these things clearly then you will not indulge in fantasy. You will think about things clearly, and you will be able to treat things properly; if you do not see things clearly, if you always rely on your fantasies, your feelings and your imagination, then urges will easily swell up inside of you, and you will do unreasonable things. So, when it comes to marriage, people must think maturely, they must be experienced, and they should not do anything they would regret; in addition, if you can think of others, with a heart that cares for others, one that truly empathizes with others, everything you do benefits others, you will not have any filthy or wicked ideas. You will respect others, and treat others properly. If you do so then you will have good dealings with others. If you want to make sure you do not fall into temptation when it comes to marriage, then you must be equipped with the truth.
● The Issue of Man’s Treating Pruning and Dealing in a Way That He Doesn’t Accept or Submit to It
Another issue is that man treats pruning and dealing in a way that he doesn’t accept it or submit to it. What is shown by treating pruning and dealing in a way that one doesn’t accept it or submit to it? It shows that man is conceited and arrogant, that he insists on his own ways. It shows that man’s satanic disposition has not changed, and as a result, it is not easy to accept dealing and pruning. At usual time, it’s easy to get people to choose to practice the truth but whenever they come across pruning and dealing it’s difficult to get them to accept and submit to it? Isn’t that how it goes? What is the most difficult thing about man practicing the truth and submitting to God? It’s most difficult to accept and submit to pruning and dealing. If man is to achieve obedience then he must not be controlled by his self-image. Only by respecting the truth and submitting to the truth will this be able to be achieved. Since pruning and dealing has to deal with the issue of self-image more than anything else, that makes pruning and dealing the most difficult thing for a person to submit to. It is difficult for anybody. Nobody can deny this. This is what I have learned through experience.
If some dealing and pruning is just fellowshiping with you about the truth and pointing out your states, if the tone is rather gentle, then it’s easy to accept this. If the words are intense, if they’re rather severe, if the tone is especially harsh, then this is the most difficult to accept. There are several ways to deal with people: The first way is by just fellowshiping the truth and pointing out a person’s states. This is the easiest way to accept, and it’s also the most common. To point out your states and then compare this according to the truth and use words of judgment to measure your substance, this is relatively mild, it’s the easiest way to accept; the second way is to use a condemning tone to reveal the substance of your corruption, this is a direct hit that leaves you exposed, and it’s relatively harder to accept, for it will to some extent harm a person’s self-respect; the third way is to use severe language to criticize someone in a magnified way, with a tone of condemnation, judgment and punishment, and it is the most difficult way to accept. For example, the tone I use to deal with false leaders and antichrists is the most severe, as I directly condemn them. Which way of dealing and pruning have you been able to submit to? Perhaps it’s the second way. If you are able to submit to the second way that’s not so bad. People who have just started believing in God are not even able to accept the first way. Usually people are able to accept the second way after experiencing dealing and pruning for a while, but people cannot accept the third way. If you are able to accept the third way, if after being cursed you still are not negative and do not put up resistance, if instead you are even able to thank God, then you truly have become someone who has gone through and come out of God’s judgment and chastisement. If you are to not put up resistance after being cursed, then do you know what kind of words are words of imprecation? Words of imprecation are words of condemnation, they are words condemning you as a devil, a false Christ, an antichrist or a wicked man. These kinds of words are the most difficult to accept. You are most likely not to accept these kinds of words. They will make most ordinary men become negative. Have you gone through this kind of dealing before? If you went through this kind of dealing would it turn you negative? Would you walk away and no longer be a believer? Some say that they would be unable to walk away, and some say: “In the house of God man is treated without love, he is dealt with so fiercely, to the point that he is condemned as being Satan the devil. If this is how it is how can I still go on believing enthusiastically? If I am Satan the devil how can I still be a believer?” This kind of person is thinking of walking away. There are some people who perform their duties, who work hard for a long time only to be said to be causing interruptions and disturbances while performing their duties, and they say: “That’s it, I can’t perform my duties. Whenever I’m performing my duties I’m interrupting and disturbing God’s work, so how can I perform my duties?” They are condemned for these interruptions and disturbances and this turns them negative, to where they no longer perform their duties. Are there people like this? These kinds of people are not people who submit to God’s work. Within men there are many corrupt dispositions, expressions of corruption, corrupt thoughts and viewpoints and manifestations of resistance to God, and if these are taken to dissect their essences with the truth then all of them belong to Satan, their disposition is a satanic disposition, all that they do interrupts and disturbs God’s work, and things they do are evil deeds that resist God. What need is there to speak of this? No one can deny this. But why is it that when you come across this kind of pruning and dealing you are unable to emerge victorious, or are even able to blame God and betray God. What kind of problem is this?
Tell me, who among those who are perfected by God through His work did not receive this kind of dealing and pruning? To be judged by the word of God is not to be directly condemned, nor is it to be told that you are unable to attain salvation, but rather it’s to determine your situation, the revelation of your corruption, and the essence of your evil deeds. It’s to be told that what you do is the evil deed of resisting God, and it’s a type of behavior that interrupts and disturbs God’s work. It’s to condemn the essence of your performance in the work that is being carried out. It’s not to condemn you as a kind of person that will never be able to change and as one that ought to be punished, or to say that you cannot attain salvation. You must be able to clearly distinguish these things. For some people, as soon as they are told that they are someone who interrupts and disturbs God’s work, then they will turn negative and say: “That’s it, there’s no use in my continuing to believe in God, for I am someone who interrupts and disturbs God’s work.” And then they do not perform their duties. These kinds of people have an issue with accepting the truth. But why is it that they are not able to have the right attitude when they are dealt with in this way? Who condemned you as someone who cannot attain salvation? You were being condemned for doing this matter, so that you would know. You must understand this issue clearly. How will you treat it the next time you are dealt with in this way? First you must understand it clearly, “What I’m being condemned for are the things I’m doing, my behavior, the evils that I’m committing; I’m not being condemned as a person who cannot attain salvation.” You must first have this kind of pure acceptance. Using the truth to reveal and judge the essence of the issue does not mean that you are being condemned as one who cannot attain salvation, for accepting God’s judgment and chastisement and being directly condemned and cursed by God are two completely different things. You must distinguish this clearly. Do not misunderstand the will of God. If someone does not see clearly what you do and they deal with you in the wrong way and then criticize you in a magnified way, calling you an evil person, someone who resists God, who is an antichrist. How will you treat this? You ought to continue believing in God and pursuing the truth. If it is God Himself who says: “You are Satan the devil, you are not human, you have no humanity!” How should you treat this? These things really reveal who you are, these things are the greatest challenges that you will face in your faith. If someone is not able to have pure acceptance and true obedience, then they will become negative and betray God, and no longer will they be a believer, which is really terrible. If you really are a bad person, if you really are Satan the devil and God Himself says to you: “You are Satan the devil, even if you go on believing in Me you will not attain salvation.” How would you treat this? A normal person would be unable to bear this condemnation, they will only be okay if they are appeased by words of praise, they will turn negative as soon as they are condemned, and even go so far as to want to stop believing. This is man’s most fatal point when it comes to these kinds of things: that man cannot bear to be condemned. As soon as man is condemned he feels that there is no hope, and he doesn’t want to believe in God, and then he doesn’t want to perform any of his duties; so what does he think? “I’ll only believe in God if I can attain salvation. Only if I can be perfected and God likes me, only if I can receive God’s blessings will I believe in Him. If I cannot have these things then I will not believe in Him.” Is this the right kind of point of view to have when it comes to believing in God? Clearly it is not. If you truly are among the creatures, then regardless of how deeply Satan has corrupted you, you will believe in God and pursue the truth to live out some resemblance of a real man. This is heaven’s law and earth’s principle! In addition, God is the Creator, so it is heaven’s law and earth’s principle that the creatures turn to their Creator! If you only believe in God to attain salvation and receive blessings, then you are clearly a selfish and contemptible person without normal humanity. Some people only believe in God in order to attain salvation, but what is wrong with turning toward God if you are unable to attain salvation? In addition, if you learn a little bit about the true way, if you walk down the correct path, if you participate in human duties then this ought to happen, “As a believer I ought to at the very least live like a human, I will not live my life in vain! Whether or not I can attain salvation, whether or not I can be perfected, I ought to at the very least learn some good things while believing in God, and learn a little bit about what it means to act as a human. If I am able to understand what it means to act as a human, if I am able to do certain things like a real man, then at least my faith will not be in vain. This alone is the correct viewpoint to have! If you see that you are not pursuing the truth, if you have no hope of attaining salvation and therefore you don’t believe in God, then you are being controlled by your betraying nature, this is the way people act who have no reason of normal humanity. You must have the proper point of view when it comes to believing in God. Why do you want to believe in God? For whom are you believing in God? Do you believe in God for yourself or for another person? Do you practice your faith for others to witness it or do you do it to attain some result or reach some sort of goal? You must clearly figure these things out. How is it that some people stop believing as soon as they are condemned or as soon as they receive some judgment and chastisement or dealing and pruning? Who is your faith for when you practice your faith in God? It seems as though you are believing in God for a person. But to have this kind of point of view in your faith in God, isn’t that too vulgar? If in the church you are rejected and suppressed by an evil person, will you go on believing? If church leaders and workers look down upon you, if they do not treat you fairly, will you go on believing? If you stop believing when you come across these kinds of situations what does that say about you? That you do not have the right viewpoint when it comes to believing in God. In the church, since people have not reached perfection or attained salvation, since they haven’t been perfected by God, their corrupt dispositions and incorrect ways of doing things still all exist. You may be subject to some suppression and some rejection in the church, but isn’t this much better than what would happen if you were out in the world? Out in the world people devour each other and harm each other! It’s not really any different from living in the animal world. You can’t say for sure when you will come across a life-threatening situation. It truly is a dangerous world where “fortune is as unpredictable as the weather; every day may bring fortune or calamity!” Even if church life isn’t that great it’s still much better than being out in the world. So how is it that some people don’t thoroughly understand this? After spending some time in the church life you might discover someone expresses some corruption, some leader or worker might do something wrong, they might treat someone unfairly, or perhaps they may say something that isn’t completely right, giving rise to notions and opinions, and making you believe that there is no love in the house of God. But if there is no love in the house of God, is there love in the world? Is there love in religion? Religious people do not possess the truth, much less love. Even if they do have it, it is false. Do you see people in the religious world being dealt with? Not at all. Why is that? They do not have the work of the Holy Spirit. They speak lies to uphold people, they flatter and fawn on one another, they only say things that are pleasant to hear, they only speak of things that make people happy. On the outside it appears to be love, but is it really love? Is it not the devil in disguise? Are they not hypocrites? When fellowshipping the truth in church and talking about how to be an honest person, the truth about a person is revealed. When you don’t live under religious rules and rituals, when you are not controlled by religious rules, then whatever your true colors are will be shown; within the religious world everywhere you go things live under a false identity, everyone speaks in those words that are popular in the religious world. On the one hand they thank the Lord, someone gives their thanks to the Lord and then someone else gives their thanks to the Lord too, someone says the Lord is good and then someone else also says the Lord is good, then they say that our brothers and sisters truly have love for each other, they all say nice and pleasing things to each other, so on the outside they all appear to be happy and joyous, they all embrace each other and shake hands and speak polite words to one another. The atmosphere appears to be quite good, but it is all fake, it’s all pretend. When you have genuine dealings with them what will it be like? Their true colors will be shown, and as soon as you touch upon personal interests then the appearance of Satan will be shown. So, in the religious world there is a lot of jealousy and disputes and they get to be very serious, much more so than in the house of God, ten to twenty times more. Since those people do not possess the truth, since they do not seek to attain salvation and be perfected, they have especially cruel methods that they use in their fighting, and they go so far as to kill others. That is the world of Satan. The religious world is sinister, and those political groups are even more sinister. Behind their smiles are hidden daggers, behind their sweet words are swords in their bellies. So, in the house of God, the more one experiences the work of God the more they change. Even though people’s corruption is revealed, in general these things have all been clearly shown already. In the house of God those who have believed in God for two to three years are able to submit to some things, they are all pursuing the truth, they are all trying to perform their duties, attain salvation and be perfected, so they are all moving upward. If everyone is moving upward then they will change more and more year after year, their progress will be visible, and the more they pursue these things the more results they will have; people move upward, and this is a fact. The religious people are slipping downward, for they do not have the work of the Holy Spirit and so they slip downward, and they will keep slipping until they are the same as the non-believers.
It is not okay if an overcomer is unable to suffer hardships through the great tribulation, especially if they are not able to submit themselves to the hardships of dealing and pruning, so the hardships of dealing and pruning are more beneficial to man.