15. God’s Word Led Me to Overcome the Suppression of the Force of Darkness
Qiu Zhen Zhejiang Province
I believed in Jesus from childhood with my mother. In the days of my following the Lord Jesus, I was often moved by the Lord’s love, feeling that the Lord Jesus loved us so much that he was crucified and shed his last drop of blood for the sake of redeeming us…. At that time, the brothers and sisters all loved and sustained one another. We enjoyed the Lord’s love, but at the same time, we were persecuted and suppressed by the CCP government. The police labeled our house churches as having “illegal meetings.” They often raided our meeting places and ordered that we couldn’t have meetings unless we got the relevant license approved by the government. Otherwise, we would be arrested to be fined or sentenced. Once, my mother and another five or six brothers and sisters were arrested and interrogated by the police for a whole day. In the end, the police released them after confirming through investigation that they were all ordinary believers. From then on, in order to escape the government’s raids, we had to have meetings secretly. Even so, our faith wasn’t diminished. But later, I found that I got less and less enjoyment in the meetings. The preachers and believers formed cliques and intrigued against one another. Many believers grew cold in faith and loved the world and money, and they only cared about making money but were unwilling to attend meetings. The several believers who came to have meetings and listen to messages chatted to one another or dozed off. Seeing that the church became desolate day by day and the believers were scattered and went away, I was very sad but couldn’t do anything. In the second half of 1998, one of my relatives preached to me the end-time gospel of Almighty God, the returned Jesus. After hearing it, I was so excited that I shed tears for meeting with the Lord in my life. Since then, I eagerly read God’s word every day and understood many truths and mysteries from that. My thirsty heart received the watering and supply which I had never received before. Moreover, from God’s word, I knew the reason why the church was desolate. I read these words of God, “God’s work in all the other places will stop, and all people will be forced to search for the true way. It will be like the case of Joseph. Everyone went to him for things to eat and bowed down to him, because he had food to eat. In order to escape the disaster of starvation, all people will have to seek the true way. The entire religious world will suffer a severe famine. Only the God of today is the spring of living water and has the ever-flowing spring for people to enjoy. All people will turn to him.” (from “The Millennial Kingdom Has Come” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) So God has already done a new work, no longer working in the churches of the Age of the Grace. Only if we keep up with God’s new work can we have the leading of the Holy Spirit and the abundant supply of life. If one fails to keep up with the pace of God’s working, he won’t have the working of the Holy Spirit. Naturally his faith and love grow cold, and he is insensible even when committing sins and doing evil. It’s just like in the later phase of the Age of the Law. When the Lord Jesus started the new work, there was no working of the Holy Spirit in the temple where people worshiped God, and the temple naturally fell into darkness and became a place of buying and selling. Knowing the truths and mysteries we had never heard before and enjoying the pleasure brought by the Holy Spirit’s greatly working, my husband and I were both immersed in the happiness and joy of meeting with the Lord again. We often learned to sing hymns, danced to praise God, and had meetings fellowshipping about God’s word with the brothers and sisters. We became fresh and lively in spirit, as if seeing the beautiful scene of everyone being glad and joyful when the kingdom is realized. Unexpectedly, just when we followed God to walk the right way of human life with full confidence, the CCP government persecuted us cruelly….
On October 28, 2002, several sisters and I were having a meeting. During that time, one sister and I went out to do something. I hadn’t yet walked far when I heard the sister behind me say, “Why do you arrest me?” Before I was aware of what had happened, an undercover policeman came up and grabbed me, saying, “Go to the police station with me!” Immediately, I was forced into a police car. The car drove up to the police station. On getting off the car, I saw that the six sisters with whom I had the meeting were all arrested and taken there. Later, the evil policemen ordered us to strip ourselves naked to be searched one by one. After searching out two beepers from me, they firmly believed that I was a church leader and listed me as the prime one to be interrogated. One evil policeman shouted at me, “When did you begin to believe? Who preached to you? Whom have you ever met? What are you in charge of in the church?” Facing the policemen’s aggressive interrogation, I was very nervous. I didn’t know how to respond, so I could only pray to God silently, asking him to keep me from betraying him. After the prayer, I gradually calmed down and chose to keep silent. Seeing that, the policeman punched my head violently in exasperation. Instantly, I felt senseless and my ears buzzed. Then, they brought a sister over and asked us to identify each other. Seeing that we didn’t listen to them, the evil policemen flew into a rage and ordered me to take off my winter shoes and stand barefoot on the cold cement floor, and then they had me stand with my back pressing against the wall. When I didn’t stand straight enough, they would kick me hard. At that time, it was already late autumn. The temperature dropped abruptly and it was raining lightly. I shivered with cold all over, with my teeth chattering unceasingly. The evil policemen paced up and down aside, threatening me while pounding the table, “We’ve long shadowed you. Today we have enough means to make you speak up. If you don’t say, we’ll freeze you to death, starve you to death, or beat you to death! We’ll see how long you can hold on!” Hearing those words, I was somewhat afraid. So I called to God, “O God! I don’t want to be a Judas and betray you. May you keep me and give me courage and faith to fight against satan, so that I can stand testimony.” After praying, I remembered God’s words, “His disposition is a symbol of authority, a symbol of all justice, a symbol of all beauty and good, and even more a symbol of being unable to be overpowered or attacked by any hostile force or darkness and a symbol of being unable to be offended (and of not tolerating being offended) by any created being.” (from “It’s Very Important to Know God’s Disposition” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) Yes, God has authority and power. His disposition can’t be overpowered by any hostile force or darkness. No matter how ferocious the CCP lackeys are, they’re in God’s hand. As long as I rely on God and cooperate with him, I can surely overcome them. With the clear guidance of God’s words, I had faith and courage immediately and didn’t feel so cold. After having me stand for over three hours, the evil policemen put me into a police car and took me to the detention house.
On the second afternoon in the detention house, an evil policeman and an evil policewoman came to interrogate me. They called my name in the dialect of my hometown, trying to cotton up to me. The man claimed himself to be chief of the Religion Section of the Public Security Bureau and said to me, “The men from the police station have got some information about you. Actually your case is nothing serious. We specially come to get you home. You’ll be all right after you say it clearly in our local place.” I didn’t know what they got up in their sleeve, but after hearing him say so, I somewhat felt that I was lucky, “Anyway, the policemen from my hometown are good. Maybe they’ll release me if they fail to get any result from the interrogation.” Out of my expectation, on the way to my hometown, the evil policemen exposed their ferocious features, forcing me to hand over the key of my house to them. I realized that they would go to my house to make a search. When I thought that there were many books of God’s word and the name list of the brothers and sisters of the church in my home, I urgently prayed to God, “O Almighty God! May you keep the books of God’s word in my home from falling into satan’s hand….” I refused to give them the key. Then the evil policemen drove to my apartment building. After locking me in the car, they dashed straight upstairs. I sat in the car and kept praying to God, feeling that every second was a suffering. After a very long time, the evil policemen came down and said angrily, “Why are you so stupid? You don’t have any book at home but still work so hard for them.” When I heard that, my anxious heart was finally put at ease and I thanked God from my heart for his keeping. Later I learned that the evil policemen didn’t find the books of God’s word in my home and only took away my over four thousand yuan in cash, a cell phone, and all my photos and my family’s. My younger sister happened to be at my home that day. After the evil policemen left, she immediately transferred all the books of God’s word and materials about believing in God in my home to the church. When the evil policemen went to make another search the following day, they still returned empty-handed.
That evening, the evil policemen took me to the local police station and repeatedly interrogated me about the previous questions. Seeing that I kept silent all the time, they asked a pastor of the Three-Self church to come to persuade me. The pastor said, “If you don’t go to the Three-Self church, the way you believe in is a false one.” I ignored her and just prayed inwardly, asking God to keep my heart. Afterward, she went further and further and began to slander and blaspheme God wantonly. I was so indignant that I refuted her, “Pastor, you condemn Almighty God as false at will, but doesn’t Revelation clearly record ‘which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty’? (Revelation 1:8) You condemn him at will. Aren’t you afraid of offending the Holy Spirit? The Lord Jesus said, ‘…whoever speaks against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.’ (Matthew 12:32) Aren’t you afraid?” On hearing that, the pastor had nothing to say and went away with embarrassment. I thanked God in my heart for leading me to overcome that hurdle. Seeing that the trick didn’t work, the evil policemen asked me to write some words. I didn’t know what their intention was, so I prayed to God silently. Under God’s revelation, I realized that it was satan’s scheme. Then I refused them, saying that I couldn’t write. Later, from the two evil policemen’s conversation, I learned that they asked me to write in order to check my handwriting and verify whether those notebooks searched out from the meeting place were mine, attempting to convict me by that. It made me see that the gang of policemen are all running dogs and lackeys which the CCP trains and that in substance they’re all demons and evil spirits that hate the truth and persecute the believers in God! In order to persecute the believers in God, they rack their brains and try every possible means. They’re really too sinister and crafty, and loathsome and hateful! After seeing clearly the evil policemen’s ugly face of persecuting God, I made a resolution inwardly, “I’ll never bow down to satan!”
The interrogation lasted until around midnight. Failing to get any information from me, the chief of the Religion Section suddenly roared like a mad beast, “Damn you! I should have been off duty at 11 o’clock. You make me stay here with you till now. If I don’t let you suffer, you won’t know how high the sky is or how great the earth is!” With the words, he pulled my right hand on the table and held it forcefully, and then took a thick stick about five or six centimeters in diameter and struck my wrist hard. When the stick fell the first time, the large vein in my wrist bulged and the muscles around it swelled. I screamed from the pain and instinctively tried to withdraw my hand, but he held it tightly. While beating me, he roared, “How dare you not write! How dare you not tell! I’ll beat you until you can never write!” He stopped after he beat me for five or six minutes. At that moment, my hand was so swollen that it looked like a steamed bun. When he loosened his grip, I immediately withdrew my hand and kept it behind my back. However, that evil policeman moved around behind me and seized my hands and hit them wildly. As he beat me, he said, “You do things for your God with these hands, don’t you? I’ll break them or disable them. I’ll see how you can do things with them. I’ll see if the believers in Almighty God will still want you!” Hearing the words, I bitterly hated that gang of evil policemen. They run counter to right principles and go against Heaven, only allowing people to be the CCP’s slaves and work themselves to the bone for the CCP, but not allowing them to believe in God and worship the Creator. Now, in order to force me to betray God, they don’t hesitate to torture me cruelly. They are really a gang of beasts and devils in human clothing! They are too evil and reactionary! That evil policeman violently beat me three times in succession. As a result, my arms became purple-black, and my wrists and the backs of my hands were so swollen that I felt unbearably painful as if they were going to burst. When I was in agony, a hymn of God’s word rang in my ears, “In the last days, I should bear testimony for God. No matter how difficult, I must do my best to live, and no matter how great the sufferings, I should walk to the end. Even if I have just one breath left, I should be faithful to God. This is, this is truly loving God, and this is a strong and resounding testimony. Oh … loving God and satisfying God is the most worthy and meaningful life, and loving God and satisfying God is most meaningful.” (from “It’s God’s Grace to Receive God’s Judgment and Chastisement” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs) God’s words moved my heart, “Right! To save us, God has been working hard day and night and caring for and accompanying us until today. He has given me endless love and mercy. Now when satan forces me to betray God and sell out the brothers and sisters, how God wishes me to bear a strong and resounding testimony for him! How can I disappoint and grieve God?” At the thought of that, I held back my tears and told myself to be strong and not to be timid or cowardly. The CCP government’s persecuting and afflicting me today isn’t directed at my flesh. It does so because it hates God. I’ll stand on God’s side resolutely and put satan to shame. I sang the song again and again in my heart, and grew strong in spirit gradually. After I was beaten up, the evil policemen didn’t allow me to close my eyes all night long. Once seeing that I narrowed my eyes, they roared at me or kicked me hard. However, moved by God’s love, I didn’t yield to them.
The next day, the chief of the Religion Section came to interrogate me again. Seeing that I still didn’t speak, he took a stick and lashed my thighs violently. After a few lashes, my legs swelled all over, and I felt my trousers became tight. Another evil policeman mocked me aside, “Since the God you believe in is so good, why doesn’t he come to help you when we torture you? …” He also said many words of slandering and blaspheming God. I felt painful and indignant, and responded to them in my heart, “You group of devils, God will repay you according to your words and deeds! Now is just the time when God grasps the facts of your doing evil.” I remembered God’s words, “The hatred of the ages is kept in heart; the evil of all ages is borne in heart. How could this not arouse people’s hatred? Avenge God, and exterminate this enemy of God thoroughly. How dare it be rampant, and how dare it kick and run amuck frantically! Now is the time. People have long readied all their strength to consecrate all the effort and all the price to this, tearing up the ugly face of this devil, and causing those who are blinded and suffer hardships and afflictions to rise up from the miseries and rebel against this old devil!” (from “Work and Entering In (8)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) From God’s words, I felt God’s anxious heart and earnest calling and understood that satan is the object that is doomed to be destroyed by God. Now God allows it to afflict me for the time being, and he just lets me see clearly its substance through this and thereby have true love and hatred, so that I can rebel against it completely and turn my heart to God. So I should bear testimony for God to shame satan. After understanding God’s will, I had a great strength within and had the will to pledge my life to be faithful to God and rebel against the old satan. Although I suffered a succession of cruel tortures and felt weak all over and my legs ached unbearably (later I found my legs were black and blue, and one muscle in my right leg is atrophied even till now), by the strength God gave me I still didn’t say anything. In the end, the chief could only leave in exasperation.
On the third day, the evil policemen questioned me and beat me up again. They didn’t stop until they got tired from beating and cursing me. Later, a policewoman came over and said with affected care, “Before, a believer in Almighty God said nothing after being arrested. As a result, he was sentenced to ten years. You say nothing. What’s the good for you? You’ll waste ten years here. When you get out, your God won’t want you. It’ll be too late for you to regret….” She also said many words of coaxing me, but I kept praying silently, asking God to keep my heart, so that I wouldn’t fall into satan’s scheme. In prayer, a hymn of God’s word appeared in my mind, “I pursue God and follow God out of my own willingness. Now even if God deserts me, I will still follow him. No matter whether God wants me, I will still pursue to love God. I am resolute to gain God in the end, dedicating my lifetime energies to God. May God’s will be accomplished. May my heart be offered up to God. No matter what God does, I will follow him all my life and never give up until I gain him.” (from “I Will Never Give Up Until I Gain God” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs) Yes! My believing in God and following God today is out of my own willingness. No matter whether God wants me, I’ll still follow God! God’s words made me become clear in my heart and mind. I realized this: Satan tries to play me off against God by every possible means, just attempting to make me become passive and deny God and betray God as a Judas in the end. Now, only if I hold on to my faith in God and my faithfulness to God can satan be defeated, and thus I can become the evidence of overcoming satan. Whether I’ll be imprisoned or not and what my outcome will be are both in God’s hand. No matter how God arranges and manipulates my life, I’ll make no choice. I deeply believe all that God does is for saving me. Although I’ll lose my fleshly enjoyment because of being imprisoned, what I get is a clear conscience. Moreover, it’s my honor to be imprisoned for God. On the contrary, if I betray God because of seeking after fleshly ease, I’ll lose my integrity and dignity, and my conscience will be troubled forever. Thus, I made a resolution in my heart, “Even if I’m imprisoned for life, I’ll be faithful to the end and offer up my truest love to God, putting satan to shame and defeating it thoroughly!” Through both soft and hard tactics, the evil policemen interrogated and tortured me for three days and nights, but they didn’t get any clue from my mouth. Having no choice, they had to put me, who was wounded all over, into the detention house and maliciously said, “We’ll interrogate you again after you recover a little!”
Five days later, the evil policemen came to interrogate me again. That time, they carried out “wheel combat” on me. They ordered me to sit on an icy iron chair, handcuffed my right hand backward to it, and put an iron bar before my chest, making my feet suspended off the floor, so that my whole body couldn’t move at all. Not long afterward, my hands and feet became numb. One of the evil policemen shouted at me, “None of those who have been handcuffed onto this chair haven’t confessed honestly. If you don’t speak within one day, you’ll be cuffed for two days. If you don’t speak within two days, you’ll be cuffed for three days! … My requirement for you isn’t high. As long as you tell me who your church leader is, it’ll be fine.” I thanked God for giving me strength. I only held on to one thought all along: Never betray! They interrogated me again and again and didn’t give me anything to eat or water to drink and even didn’t allow me to go to the washroom. During the night, in order to keep me from sleeping, they handcuffed one of my hands to the iron chair and forced me to stand by the chair for interrogation. I was tired and hungry and numb all over, so I couldn’t stand at all but could only lean against the iron chair. However, when I just leaned close to the chair or felt sleepy, they would sway or lash with long bamboo chopsticks wildly before my eyes and didn’t allow me to close my eyes for the whole night. Just like that, after two days, I was weak and limp all over. I didn’t know how long they would torture me and was very afraid that I was unable to hold on and thus betrayed God as a Judas. Then I kept calling to God, “God! My flesh is too weak and my stature is too small. May you keep me so that I won’t be a Judas.” Just when I was urgently calling to God, an evil policeman took out a book of God’s word and read, “To those who were not faithful to me in the least in the tribulation, I will show no more mercy, because my mercy only goes so far. Moreover, I do not like anyone who has ever betrayed me, much less like to associate with a person who sells out the interests of his friends, which is my disposition, no matter who he is. I want to tell you: Anyone who has broken my heart cannot possibly be forgiven by me the second time, and anyone who is faithful to me will remain in my heart forever.” (from “You Should Prepare Enough Good Deeds for the Sake of Your Destination” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) I was brightened in my heart: Isn’t God pointing out the way to me? I saw that God was really full of expectation and concern for me. To keep me to stand firm, God used the evil policeman to read God’s words for me in the devil’s den, explicitly telling me that he likes and blesses those who are faithful to him in the tribulation and detests and rejects the base ones who betray him. While facing God’s love and mercy, how could I fail God’s heart? After the evil policeman finished reading, he asked me, “Does your God require you to do so? To say nothing?” I didn’t answer him. Unexpectedly, he thought I didn’t hear it, so he read it several times and asked me several times. I saw that God is so wise and almighty. The more the evil policeman read it, the more every word of God was engraved in my heart. Then I had a firmer faith: No matter how the devils interrogate me by tortures, I won’t be a Judas!
On the third day, the evil policemen intentionally took me upstairs and downstairs to interrogate me so as to exhaust my strength. I was tortured by them so much that I felt weak all over and my legs were limp. It was very difficult for me to lift up my legs while going upstairs. However, because of the faith and strength that God’s words gave me, I still refused to say anything. The interrogation lasted until night, but the evil policemen couldn’t get anything from me. Then they threatened me, “Even if you don’t say, we can sentence you all the same and fix you to death!” After hearing that, I was kind of scared in my heart, “How will they torture me? I’ve been worn out and can hardly hold on….” I called to God, “O God! May you help me. I’m afraid that I can’t stand it. May you keep and lead me, so that I can know how to cooperate with you.” After the prayer, I had strength within, no longer feeling so painful. Just like that, when I was in the most painful and difficult situation, it was the prayer that gave me strength and faith, so that I could pull through it.
On the early morning of the fourth day, failing to get any result from the three-day interrogation, the evil policemen removed my handcuffs angrily. They pushed me to the floor and ordered me to kneel down on the floor, not allowing me to stand up. Then I just knelt on the floor and prayed to God silently, “O God! I know that it is you who have kept me to overcome these several days of interrogation and torture. Facing your love and mercy, I don’t know how to thank you with words. God! Although I don’t know how the evil policemen will torture me next, I’ll never betray you or sell out the brothers and sisters in any case. May you continue to give me faith and strength and keep me so that I can stand firm.” With the prayer, I had a powerful strength in my heart. I felt clearly that I was under the care of God’s love and that no matter how the devils tormented me, God would surely lead me to overcome. After quite a long time, one evil policeman probably had guessed that I was praying to God, so he roared at me and cursed me exasperatedly. And then he rolled up a pile of newspapers into a tube and struck me in the temple fiercely. Darkness came over my eyes and I fell to the floor and passed out. They poured cold water to sober me and I faintly heard an evil policeman threaten, “If you still don’t confess, I’ll beat you to death or beat you disabled for life! Even though I beat you to death, no one will know it anyway. Your brothers and sisters dare not come here.” I also heard another one say, “Just forget it. If we continue to beat her like that, she’ll die. She’s incorrigible and we can’t get anything from her.” After hearing that, I couldn’t help feeling somewhat relieved and knew that God sympathized with my weakness and made a way out for me again. The evil policemen weren’t resigned to being defeated just like that, so they brought my unbelieving younger sister and my son over and asked them to persuade me. My sister saw my black eye corners and bruised and swollen hands from the beating. She didn’t persuade me as the evil policemen wished, but instead she said to me in tears, “Sister, I don’t believe that you have done anything bad. You should be strong.” Seeing that, one evil policeman turned to my son, saying, “You urge your mom and ask her to cooperate with our work. Then she can go home earlier to take care of you.” My son gave me a look and ignored them. When leaving, he suddenly said to me, “Mom! Don’t worry about me. Take good care of yourself. I can take care of myself.” Seeing that my son was so sensible and reasonable, I was so moved that I couldn’t say anything but just nodded my head vigorously and watched him leave with tears in my eyes. It made me experience God’s love and care for me again, because during those days, I was most concerned about my son. I feared that he wouldn’t know how to live without me by his side and even more feared that as he was so young, he would be instigated and brainwashed by the evil policemen and hate my believing in God. I hadn’t expected that he wasn’t deceived by their lies at all but instead comforted me. I saw that God is really so almighty! Man’s heart and man’s spirit are indeed in God’s manipulation. It is just as God’s words say, “Man’s heart and man’s spirit are under God’s control, and man’s entire living is in God’s eyes. No matter whether you believe all these, nevertheless, anything, living or dead, will move, change, renew, and disappear according to God’s thoughts. This is the way God rules over all things.” (from “God Is the Source of Man’s Life” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) After my sister and son left, the evil policemen threatened me again, “If you still don’t say, believe it or not, we’ll torture you several more days and nights. Even if you don’t say, we can still sentence you to three to five years….” After experiencing God’s many deeds, I was full of faith in God. So I said firmly, “At worst I’ll die in your hands! You can only torture my flesh but can’t shake my heart. Even if my flesh dies, my soul is still in God’s hand.” Seeing that, the evil policemen had to end the interrogation and sent me back to the cell. Seeing satan’s discomfiture of being thoroughly defeated, I was very happy in my heart. I truly knew that only God is the almighty Ruler and man’s life and death are both controlled in God’s hand. Although I didn’t eat or drink for several days and nights and my body was greatly afflicted, God’s love accompanied me all the time and God’s words gave me faith and strength constantly, so that I tenaciously overcame satan’s “wheel” interrogations. It made me truly experience that God’s life power is so transcendent and great and the strength God gives to man is infinite and isn’t restricted by the flesh.
Several days later, the CCP government sentenced me to three years of hard labor on the charge of “disturbing the social order,” and then sent me to a labor camp. There, I lived an inhuman life and worked without stopping from morning till night every day. Because my hands became disabled from beating, in the first half year the muscles of the backs of my hands were very tight and I had no strength even to wash clothes. Whenever it was overcast or rainy, my arms would become sore and swollen because the blood vessels were blocked. Even so, the prison guards still forced me to finish an excessive workload every day. If I couldn’t finish it, my sentence would be extended. Moreover, they strictly watched and controlled us believers in God, and we were watched even when we ate, took a shower, or went to the washroom…. The physical illness and the excessive work and the mental tortures made me feel unspeakably miserable. I felt that three years of prison life were too long and I could hardly stay there any longer, so I thought of death several times. In extreme anguish, I prayed to God, “O God, you know my flesh is too weak. I’m feeling bitter now and I really can’t endure it and even want to die. May you inspire and lead me and give me a strong will, so that I can have faith to go on….” God showed grace to me and made me remember a hymn of God’s word, “God is incarnated this time to do the work he has not finished, to judge and end this age, to save men from the sea of misery, to thoroughly conquer them, and to transform their life disposition. For mankind to break free from the afflicting and pitch-dark force of darkness and for the sake of the work of mankind ah, God has had so many sleepless nights ah. He comes to the lowest place from the highest place and lives in hell on earth and spends days with men ah. He never complains about the miserableness of the world ah, and never makes exacting demands of men, but endures great humiliation doing his own work. For the whole mankind to enjoy rest earlier, he endures humiliation and swallows injustice to come to earth, personally coming into the tiger’s den to save mankind. So many times he faced the stars, and so many times he worked day and night. He endures great sufferings and endures men’s attacking and ‘breaking.’ God comes to the filthy place and silently endures men’s tortures….” (from “The Practical God Is Saving Men in Obscurity” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs) While I was pondering these words, my heart was encouraged and moved by God’s love. To save us, a group of deeply corrupted men, God humbles himself to the lowest place from the highest place and takes a great risk to work in China, the fortress of demons. He has undergone all kinds of humiliations and sufferings, and persecutions and tribulations. However, God has been silently expending for mankind without any complaint or regret. God has done so many works just to gain a group of people who can care for his will and stand with justice unswervingly. Now I encounter this environment, and through it God wants to temper my will and perfect my faith in him and my obedience to him and make me understand and enter into the truth. If I can’t even endure this little suffering in prison right now, won’t I disappoint God’s thoughtful kind intention too much? Furthermore, under God’s leading I overcame so many cruel tortures before, and God has long let me experience his wonderful deeds. Shouldn’t I have firmer faith and go on to bear a good testimony for God now? Thinking of that, I became strong again and resolved to pull myself together and imitate Christ. No matter how hard and difficult, I’ll walk on tenaciously. Later, whenever I felt the life in the labor camp was painful, I would sing that song. Every time, God’s words gave me infinite faith and strength and encouraged me to continue to walk forward. At that time, many other sisters were imprisoned in the labor camp. Relying on the wisdom God gave to us, once we had the opportunity, we would pass slips of paper on which were written some words of God or fellowship with each other to sustain and encourage each other. Although we were imprisoned in the devil’s den of the CCP government and locked inside the high walls isolated from the world, because of that, we even more cherished every word of God and even more treasured the revelation God bestowed to every one of us. Thus, our hearts became closer….
On October 29, 2005, I was finally released after serving the sentence. However, though I had gotten out of the prison, I didn’t regain freedom. The police had people spy on my movements all the time and ordered me to report to the police station every month. Although I was in my own home, I felt as if being put in an invisible prison and had to be continually on the alert against the CCP’s informers’ appearing. Even if I read God’s word at home, I had to be very cautious, fearing that the policemen would suddenly break in. Moreover, for that reason, I couldn’t meet the brothers and sisters or live the church life. I was particularly tormented in my heart, feeling each day passed like a year. Later, I really couldn’t endure such a life without the church or the brothers and sisters, so I went to work in another place. Thus, I got in touch with the church there and lived the church life again.
After experiencing the CCP government’s persecution, I saw clearly its evil image of being hypocritical and deceiving the world to win reputation. I became certain that it’s just a group of devils that blaspheme Heaven and are hostile to God and that it’s indeed the embodiment of satan and reincarnation of the devil. I hated it bitterly in my heart and swore to be irreconcilable with it. Moreover, in the tribulation, I truly tasted God’s almightiness and sovereignty and wonderful deeds, experienced the authority and power of God’s word, and more truly felt God’s love and great salvation. In times of danger, God accompanied me all the time, inspired and enlightened me through his word, gave me faith and strength, and led me to overcome the cruel tortures time and again and pass through three long years of dark life in the devil’s prison. Facing God’s great salvation, I’m full of gratitude and have greater faith. I’ve made a firm resolution, “No matter how great the storm I’ll undergo in the future, I’ll rely on the guidance and leading of God’s word to break away from all the influence of darkness and follow God to the end unswervingly!”