140. The Principles of How to Approach Love and Marriage

1. You may choose according to your own understanding—there are no rules. No one has the right to interfere in this matter, but neither must it interfere with your belief in God or the performance of your duties;

2. Giving up marriage for the sake of pursuing the truth and fulfilling your duty is a special testimony in conformity with God’s will—it is extremely wise and worthy of God’s praise;

3. If you really cannot overcome your flesh, then you may choose a suitable partner. A minimum requirement of your decision is that it must benefit your life. You must not impact the real work of believing in God for the sake of satisfying your flesh;

4. Respect appropriate love and marriage. Multiple marriages go against the truth and against moral principles. Those who play at marriage are evil spirits and filthy demons.

Relevant Words of God:

Today, the words I speak make demands of people based on their actual circumstances, and I work based on their needs and the things inside them. The practical God has come to earth to do practical work, to work according to people’s actual circumstances and needs; He is not unreasonable. And when God acts, He does not coerce people. For example, whether you get married should be according to your own actual situation; the truth has been clearly spoken to you, and I do not restrain you. Some families oppress people to the extent that they’re unable to believe in God unless they get married—so marriage, conversely, is to their advantage. For some people, marriage not only brings no benefits, but costs them what they originally had. This must depend on your actual circumstances and your own resolution. I do not come up with rules by which to make demands of you.

from “Practice (7)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh

It’s that enduring this pain now is your blessing, because you must withstand such suffering to be saved and survive, and it is predestined. So for this suffering to befall you is your blessing. Do not think that this is a simple thing; this is not just something for playing around with people and making them suffer; the meaning behind it is too deep, too significant. If you never get married your whole life, or never return home all your life, those will be significant things. If the path you are going along is correct, if what you seek is correct, then in the end what you obtain will be more than that of the saints of the ages, and the promises that you inherit will be greater.

from “Those Who Have Lost the Work of the Holy Spirit Are Most at Risk” in Records of Christ’s Talks

You must suffer hardship for the truth, you must give yourself to the truth, you must endure humiliation for the truth, and to gain more of the truth you must undergo more suffering. This is what you should do. You must not throw away the truth for the sake of a peaceful family life, and you must not lose your life’s dignity and integrity for the sake of momentary enjoyment. You should pursue all that is beautiful and good, and should pursue a path in life that is more meaningful. If you lead such a vulgar life, and do not pursue any objectives, do you not waste your life? What can you gain from such a life? You should forsake all enjoyments of the flesh for the sake of one truth, and should not throw away all truths for the sake of a little enjoyment. People like this have no integrity or dignity; there is no meaning to their existence!

from “The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment” in The Word Appears in the Flesh

Sexually immoral, lascivious men always want to pull those coquettish harlots to them for their own enjoyment. I will not save such sexually immoral demons, I hate you filthy demons, your lasciviousness and coquettishness have plunged you into hell—what have you to say for yourselves? You filthy demons and evil spirits are so heinous! You’re disgusting! How could such trash be saved? Could those ensnared in sin still be saved? These truths, this way, and this life hold no attraction to you; you’re attracted to sinfulness, to money, standing, fame and gain, the enjoyments of the flesh, the handsomeness of men and coquettishness of women. What qualifies you to enter My kingdom?

from “Practice (7)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh

The Man’s Fellowship:

Number 15 is on the issue of marriage and children. This is primarily a personal choice that the house of God has never regulated. Getting married and having children are both reasonable and legal, and no one has the right to restrict it. Some people give up their marriages and family to pursue the truth and fulfill their duty; this is a special testimony that is in line with God’s will. All those who are willing to expend and pay this price for God will certainly be blessed by Him. Some people’s family backgrounds are suitable for marriage, and they can receive brothers and sisters after getting married. This is also in line with God’s will. As for those who get married, start a family, and lose their opportunity to perform their duty, whose faith is disrupted by family control and entanglements, that is a personal choice. It’s normal to get married after growing up, but one should choose a suitable partner. At the very least, it should be someone who is beneficial for someone’s faith and life—this is very important. People’s choices determine their path and their final destination. What is key is whether someone can select their own path based on God’s requirements.

A concise explanation is as follows. Many people dedicate their youth to performing their duty; this is very precious. They’re able to let go of potential marriages because they started giving these things mature consideration early on, enabling them to overcome the various temptations of marriage. One brother shared fellowship with me on his difficulties regarding marriage, and I told him that if he really couldn’t bear it any longer, he should find a suitable sister to marry. Later, he told me that he felt regret, that he knew what marriage meant, and that he would stand fast in his decision not to get married. I saw that his resolve in his faith was commendable. When he was given permission to get married, he still didn’t. He was able to focus on performing his duty. This is difficult and laudable. Some unmarried people don’t have that kind of resolve, but are always worrying about it. When they perform their duty their hearts aren’t in it, they have no drive in seeking the truth; they are totally constrained by the issue of marriage. Under these circumstances, people should be given a choice; you can’t take a one-size-fits-all approach to different people’s needs. Requirements of those who pursue the truth should be entirely based on God’s words; for those who believe in God but do not pursue the truth, requirements cannot be too high. The truth is that if your requirements are too high it’s useless. So no matter what method of practice is shared in fellowship in the house of God, all you can do is give people principles, not rules. Let people choose for themselves. Isn’t that the best of both worlds? Individual choices regarding marriage should particularly be respected. Whether someone chooses to put God’s words into practice or if they choose to get married, it’s a personal choice and does not represent the requirements of God’s house for His chosen people.

Number 16 is about whether divorce is permissible for believers. Believers should treat marriage with respect and responsibility. They cannot casually get divorced for any little reason, but if the two people are truly unable to live together and both want to get divorced, that is okay. The house of God doesn’t have rules regarding marriage, but Christians should behave in a principled way. If the nonbeliever spouse of a Christian is determined to get a divorce, they can do so at will. But someone who proposes divorce without a legitimate reason is irresponsible and does not have respect for marriage. Marriage is extremely important and should be handled prudently. Marriage and divorce are both personal issues that no one else has a right to interfere in.

A concise explanation is as follows. Marriage should be handled in a principled way; the house of God never interferes with issues of marriage. The work of God’s house is leading people to eat and drink God’s words, and experience His work, so that they can gain the truth to gain God’s salvation. As long as family issues don’t impact someone’s pursuit of the truth and their salvation by God, it’s not a problem. Some brothers and sisters are able to see into the true satanic face of those who lack faith, and feel that their nonbeliever husbands or wives are all demons, that sympathizing with a demon is betraying God. That is, they must divorce their nonbeliever spouse—if they show sympathy for them, they are betraying God. Although this perspective is correct, most people find it hard to do this, and if someone does do it rashly it can cause problems in the future. They may shift the blame and say that it was the house of God that made them get a divorce and want God’s house to resolve their future difficulties. That is a problem. Any person’s divorce is a personal issue that has nothing to do with the house of God. Some people see their nonbeliever spouse as a demon; if that is truly their understanding it’s fine to act directly in accordance with God’s words without referring to man’s fellowship. Wouldn’t you say so?

Number 17 is about whether remarriage is allowed. Marriage is entirely a personal choice. Others cannot condemn a choice as wrong, and the house of God does not interfere. It is reasonable for someone who has been divorced to remarry. But no one will commend someone who doesn’t handle marriage properly, who keeps getting married, divorced, and married again; you can only corrupt yourself that way. Those who frequently commit adultery absolutely cannot be promoted to be used by the house of God; frequent adulterers who are a terrible influence must be expelled. As long as it’s a proper divorce, remarriage is not a problem and other brothers and sisters should be helpful.

A concise explanation is as follows. This is just regarding the principle of whether or not it is permissible to remarry after a divorce and is unrelated to other issues. This is not a rule, and it certainly is not a call for people to get divorced and then marry again. For those who had no choice but to get divorced, whose lives are extremely difficult without another marriage, who are troubled by this for many years and don’t know how to practice, this is my fellowship: Remarriage is okay after divorce. Could the house of God really prevent people from remarriage? Or condemn those who do marry again? Some say that this is in conflict with God coming to split apart families, but in fact it’s not at all. God is not tearing apart families tomorrow or the day after; He is going to do that in the great disaster, so it’s best if people don’t help God tear apart their own families in advance. He doesn’t need any human involvement in His matters. All people need to do is pursue the truth, pursue a change in disposition, and when God does split families apart, they can forsake the flesh and obey God; this is what is most reasonable. What must be made particularly clear is not to forget to fulfill your duty well. When the disaster comes, evil ones will be punished. If you are able to praise God’s righteousness without complaint, this is wonderful testimony.

from the fellowship from the above

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Next: 142. The Principles of How to Approach Children’s Education

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