156 Introspection Before God
I thought toiling was compatible with Christ. God's words expose me, I see I'm self-right, I'm too rebellious and arrogant. Even though I work hard and pay a price, have some life experience, knowledge of God, my life disposition remains unchanged. I'm void of genuine love, obedience for God. Rebelling and betrayal go hand in hand with knowing God too little. I never fully dissected myself, I don't even know my true self. Seeing through one's corrupt essence is not an easy task. Peter went through hundreds of trials, was perfected by God finally. God saves and perfects man, it's tough. For mankind is deeply corrupt.
With satanic nature, God I rebel. I look at His words and reflect myself. I see that my corruption is too deep, my actions are from Satan's philosophy. I'm selfish and full of deceit, I am lacking normal humanity. I may not do evil deeds, but lack reality of truth. Without reaching a true knowledge of God, everything is empty talk. Entering into life, it begins with knowing oneself. Seeing through one's corrupt essence is not an easy task. Judgment and chastisement, trials and refinement are all good for man. Perfection by God can only come through hundreds of trials and being pruned, being pruned.
from Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs