14. The CCP Government’s Harsh Persecution Only Strengthens My Love for God
By Li Zhi, Liaoning Province
In the year 2000, I was fortunate enough to hear the kingdom gospel of Almighty God. By reading God’s words, I came to understand the mystery of God’s names, the mystery of God’s incarnations, and the truths regarding things such as how God’s three stages of work save mankind, and how they thoroughly change, purify and perfect man. I became certain that Almighty God is the Lord Jesus returned, and I gladly accepted God’s kingdom gospel. After that, I actively joined in with the church life, and with spreading the gospel and bearing witness for God. In 2002, I became known around the local area for preaching the gospel and was in constant danger of being arrested by the CCP police. I had no choice but to flee my home so that I could continue to perform my duty.
The CCP government has always used telephones as a means to monitor and arrest Christians, so I didn’t dare call my family after I left home. By early 2003 I had been apart from my family for almost a year, so I went to my mother-in-law’s home to see my husband because I missed them so much. When he saw that I had gone back my husband’s younger brother called my mom and told her that I was at my mother-in-law’s house. To my surprise, three hours later, four policemen from the Municipal Public Security Bureau came to my mother-in-law’s house in a police car. The moment they entered the house, they said to me fiercely, “We’re from the Municipal Public Security Bureau. You’re Li Zhi, right? You’ve been on our wanted list for almost a year, and now we’ve finally got you! You’re coming with us!” I was incredibly afraid; and I prayed to God in my heart nonstop: “O Almighty God! The CCP government is arresting me today by Your permission. But I’m of such small stature, and I feel timid and afraid. Please guide me and protect me, and grant me faith and strength. No matter how they treat me, I wish to rely on You and stand witness. I’d rather go to prison than be a Judas and betray You!” After praying, I thought of these words from God: “His disposition is the symbol of authority, the symbol of all that is righteous, the symbol of all that is beautiful and good. More than that, it is a symbol of Him who cannot be[a] overcome or invaded by the darkness and any enemy force …” (“It Is Very Important to Understand God’s Disposition” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “That’s right,” I thought to myself. “God holds sovereignty and rules over all things. Over the past few years, the CCP government has done all it can to disrupt and obstruct the spreading of God’s kingdom gospel, and yet those of every religion and denomination who sincerely believe in God and hear God’s voice have returned before His throne to accept His salvation in the last days. It’s clear from this that no force can halt God’s work, and no human being can stand in its way. Although I have now fallen into the hands of the CCP police, they themselves are in God’s hands, and with God by my side there is nothing to fear!” God’s words gave me faith and strength, and I gradually began to calm down.
I was escorted to an interrogation room after we arrived at the Municipal Public Security Bureau. The police took away my belt, removed my clothing, shoes and socks, and then searched me. Afterward, one of the policemen shouted, “You just be quick and tell us everything you know. How many years have you been a believer? Who preached it to you? Who are your church leaders? How many people have you preached it to? What do you do in the church?” I didn’t answer his questions, immediately embarrassing him into anger, and he yelled, “If you don’t start talking, then we have plenty of ways to make you talk!” While saying this he aggressively dragged me from the chair down onto the floor. Two officers treaded on my legs while two others stomped hard on my back. My head was nearly slammed into the floor and I was finding it hard to draw breath. One of the policemen then took a pencil and lightly drew it back and forth along the arches of my feet, hurting and tickling me at the same time. It was unbearable; it was so hard to breathe that I was on the verge of suffocating, and the fear of death came upon me. One of them proceeded to threaten me: “Are you going to talk or not? If not, we’ll torture you to death!” I felt really afraid in the face of the torment and intimidation of this police gang; I was worried that they would torture me to death. All I could do was keep praying to God, asking Him to grant me faith and strength, and to protect me so that I might stand witness and never become a Judas and betray Him. After praying, these words of God came to mind: “Faith is like a single log bridge: Those who cling abjectly to life will have difficulty in crossing it, but those who are ready to sacrifice themselves can pass over, sure of foot and worry-free. If man harbors timid and fearful thoughts, it is because Satan has fooled them, afraid that we will cross the bridge of faith to enter into God” (“Chapter 6” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Inspired by God’s words, I immediately felt strength rise up within me, and I realized that my timidity and fear of death were the result of being toyed with by Satan. The CCP government was vainly hoping to subject me to cruel torture as a way to force me to give in to its despotic power, to make me sell out the church and become a God-betraying Judas because I was afraid of dying or I didn’t want to suffer any pain. There was no way I could allow Satan’s cunning plot to succeed, and I decided I would stand witness for God even at the cost of my own life. The police continued torturing me the same way, but I no longer felt so afraid. I knew then that this was God showing me His mercy and protection, and I felt incredibly grateful to Him.
Two of the policemen then cuffed me back on the chair and sternly asked me the same questions again. Seeing that I still made no answer, they intensified the torture. They pulled my arms out straight and then forcefully pulled them back and up behind me. Instantly, they felt like they were going to snap and the rending pain of it made me break out in a full-body sweat; I couldn’t help but let out a scream. They then pulled up my legs so that my feet were above my head, and then pulled my legs in opposite directions. The tearing agony of it caused me to almost black out. In my heart, I just kept praying to God: “O Almighty God! Please grant me faith and strength and the determination to endure this pain. May You be my staunch backup that gives strength to my spirit. No matter what cruel tricks this gang of demons uses on me, I will always rely on You and stand witness.” After I’d prayed, a hymn of God’s words appeared in my mind: “While undergoing trials, it is normal for people to be weak, or to have negativity within them, or to lack clarity on God’s will or their path for practice. But in any case, you must have faith in God’s work, and not deny God, just like Job. … What He perfects by working in this way is people’s faith, love, and aspirations. God does the work of perfection on people, and they cannot see it, cannot feel it; under such circumstances, your faith is required. People’s faith is required when something cannot be seen by the naked eye, and your faith is required when you cannot let go of your own notions. When you do not have clarity about God’s work, what is required of you is to have faith and to take a firm stance and stand witness. When Job reached this point, God appeared to him and spoke to him. That is, it is only from within your faith that you will be able to see God, and when you have faith God will perfect you” (“Trials Call for Faith” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). God’s words gave me great faith and strength. I thought of the immense trials Job went through, when his whole body was wracked with painful boils and he suffered terrible pain. And yet, despite his pain, he was still able to seek God’s will; he didn’t sin with his words or deny God, but instead he obeyed God and extolled God’s holy name. Job possessed true faith and reverence for God, and that is why he was able to stand witness for God and utterly shame and defeat Satan—ultimately, God appeared and spoke to him. The adversity and trial that had now befallen me had also been permitted by God. Although I didn’t fully understand God’s will and my flesh was suffering extreme pain, yet it was God who had the final say on whether I lived or died, and without His permission, the police could never take my life no matter how much they tortured me. These policemen looked ferocious on the outside, but before God they were just paper tigers, just tools in God’s hands. God was using their brutality and persecution to perfect my faith, and I wished to stay loyal to God, to hand myself over completely into His hands, and to rely on God to overcome Satan and no longer to fear the policemen.
The police tortured me repeatedly. Seeing that I still wasn’t talking, one of the policemen picked up a white steel ruler about 50 cm long and began to viciously hit me across the face with it. I’ve no idea how many times he hit me with it; my face swelled up and it was burning with pain. All I could see was stars floating before my eyes and my head was buzzing. Two of the policemen then used the heels of their leather shoes to stomp down on my thighs. Each blow left me wracked with excruciating pain. In my suffering, all I could do was call out to God in earnest in my heart, asking Him to protect me so that I might overcome the cruel torture inflicted on me by the CCP police.
At 8 a.m. the next morning, the head of the Criminal Police Brigade entered the interrogation room. Upon learning that the police hadn’t been able to get any information out of me, he said fiercely, “You’re refusing to talk, aren’t you? Hmph! We’ll see about that!” And then he left. That afternoon, a fat officer with an ID card in his hand came up to me and asked, “Do you know this person?” I immediately saw that it was a church sister from the same village as me. I thought to myself: “No matter what, I must not sell out my sister.” And so, I responded, “No, I don’t know her.” His eyes narrowed, and he picked up an electroshock baton that was lying on the table. Waving it before my face, threateningly he said, “You’re a stubborn one. We know you’re a leader in the church, so fess up! How many members are there in your church? Where is the church’s money? If you don’t tell me, I’ll give you a taste of this electroshock baton!” Looking at the policeman’s malevolent face, I felt extremely afraid and hurriedly said a silent prayer to God. Just then, God’s words came to mind: “Do not fear, the Almighty God of hosts will surely be with you; He stands behind you and He is your shield” (“Chapter 26” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Possessed of authority, God’s words gave me faith and strength and I instantly felt like I had something to lean on. I thought to myself: “God is almighty, and no matter how fiendish Satan and demons are, are they not also in God’s hands? With Almighty God as my staunch backup, I have nothing to fear!” I therefore replied casually, “I don’t know anything.” The fat policeman said maliciously, “This is what you get for not knowing anything!” As he said this, he touched my handcuffs with the electroshock baton and a powerful surge of electric current shot through my whole body in an unbearably painful wave—the agony was indescribable. The policeman continued to shock me with the baton, and just when I nearly couldn’t stand it any longer, a miracle happened: It ran out of power! I had witnessed God’s almightiness and sovereignty, and moreover I had experienced the fact that God is always by my side, watching over me, protecting me, and taking my weakness into consideration. My faith grew and my resolve to stand witness for God was strengthened.
The police later saw that I still wasn’t going to talk, and so in twos they took it in turns to watch me. They wouldn’t let me eat, drink or even sleep. The moment I began to doze off, they would beat and kick me, hoping that this would break my will. God guided me to see through their cunning scheme, however, and I prayed silently to God, sang hymns in my mind and contemplated God’s words and, before I knew it, my spirits rose. These policemen, on the other hand, were constantly drinking coffee and yet were still so tired that they kept yawning. One of them said in astonishment, “She must have some kind of magical power keeping her going, otherwise how else is she finding all this energy?” Hearing the policeman say this, I praised the great power of God over and over, for I knew well in my heart that all of this was down to the guidance of God’s words, and that it was God’s own life force holding me up and granting me faith and strength. Although I didn’t then know what other kinds of cruel torture the police had in store for me, I had the faith to rely on God to face the interrogations to come, and I resolved: I will never submit to the despotic power of the CCP government, but will stand witness for God!
On the evening of the third day, the head of the Criminal Police Brigade poured me a cup of hot water and, feigning concern, said, “Don’t be stupid now. Someone else has sold you out already, so what’s the point in enduring all this for other people? Just tell me everything you know and I promise to let you go. Your son is still young and needs his mother’s love. You could have a good life, and yet you waste it believing in some God! God cannot save you, but we can. We can help you with any difficulty you may have, and we can help you find a good job when you get out of here….” As I listened to him talk, I couldn’t help but think of my young son, wondering how he had been since my arrest. Would my unbelieving friends and relatives mock him? Would his classmates at school bully him? Just as I was beginning to weaken, God enlightened me with a passage of His words: “You must be awake and waiting at all times, and you must pray before Me more. You must recognize the various plots and cunning schemes of Satan, recognize the spirits, know people, and be able to discern all kinds of people, events, and things …” (“Chapter 17” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Inspired by God’s words, I came to the clear realization that Satan was using my feelings for my family to lure me into betraying God. Satan knew that I loved my son most of all and was using the police as its mouthpiece to attack and tempt me, and to make my love for my son cause me to sell out my brothers and sisters. I would then become a God-betraying Judas who would ultimately end up being cursed and punished by God—Satan is so insidious and malicious! I thought about how I couldn’t be with my son to look after him, but wasn’t it all because the CCP government was the enemy of God, and because it frantically arrests and persecutes Christians? And yet the police were saying that it was because I believed in God. By saying this, were they not turning the truth on its head and distorting the facts? The CCP government is so shameless and wicked! And so, no matter what the policeman said, I paid him no attention whatsoever. Seeing that I couldn’t be swayed either by the carrot or the stick, he stalked off in a huff. Under the guidance and protection of God, I had once again overcome Satan’s temptations.
It was after 8 p.m. that evening when the fat policeman returned with a large electroshock baton in hand and three underlings trailing along behind him. They took me to a gym and stripped my clothes off (leaving me just in my underwear), then tied me to a treadmill with a rope. Looking at their faces, each one more malevolent than the last, left me feeling incredibly fearful and helpless, and I had no idea what cruel torture they were going to inflict on me next or how long it would go on for. I felt so weak at that moment and began to have thoughts of death. But straight away, I knew that these thoughts were wrong, and so I hurriedly prayed and called out to God: “O Almighty God! You know my heart, and I don’t want to be a Judas who betrays You and go down in history as a traitor. But my stature is so small, and I feel so pained and weak in the face of this torment—I’m afraid that I won’t be able to stand it and will betray You. O God! Please protect me and grant me faith and strength. Please be with me, guide and lead me, and enable me to stand witness through this cruel torture.” After praying, I thought of God’s words that say: “Thus, during these last days you must bear testimony to God. No matter how great your suffering, you should walk until the very end, and even at your last breath, still you must be faithful to God and at the mercy of God; only this is truly loving God, and only this is the strong and resounding testimony” (“Only by Experiencing Painful Trials Can You Know the Loveliness of God” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words brought me comfort and encouragement. They allowed me to understand that God was permitting this cruel torture to be inflicted upon me so that true faith and love might be wrought within me, so that I might continue to stay loyal to God through my suffering, submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, and stand witness by leaning on God’s words no matter how great the trial or how terrible the pain. Having understood God’s will, the courage and resolve to fight Satan to the bitter end instantly arose within me, and I made this resolution: No matter what torture I still have to go through, I wish to keep on living, and no matter how great my suffering becomes, I will follow God till my very last breath!
Just then, the fat policeman, a cigarette dangling from his mouth, came over and asked, “Will you talk or not?” Resolutely, I replied, “You can beat me to death, but I still don’t know anything.” In a fury, he flung his cigarette onto the floor and, seething with rage, he jammed the electroshock baton into my back and thighs over and over again. The excruciating pain made me break out in a cold sweat all over my body, and I just kept wailing pitifully. While jamming the baton into me, he roared, “This is what you get for not talking! I’ll make you scream, and we’ll see how long you last!” The other officers in the room standing off to the side laughed raucously and said, “How come your God doesn’t come to save you?” They also said many other things blaspheming God. Seeing their demonic faces, I called earnestly on God to grant me the faith and strength so that I might endure the pain and wipe that smile off Satan’s face. After praying, I clenched my mouth shut and refused to make another sound no matter how they tormented me. They electrocuted me constantly. When one electroshock baton ran out of power, they swapped it for another, and I was tortured to the point that my mind was all a blur and death seemed preferable to life. I couldn’t move a muscle and, seeing me become still, they thought I’d passed out. They threw cold water over me to wake me and then continued to electrocute me. In my pain, I thought of God’s words that say: “This gang of accomplices in crime! They come down into the mortal realm to indulge in pleasures and cause a commotion, stirring things up so much that the world becomes a fickle and inconstant place and the heart of man is filled with panic and unease…. they even wish to assume sovereign power on earth. They impede the work of God so much that it can barely inch forward, and they close man off as tightly as walls of copper and steel. Having committed so many grievous sins and caused so many disasters, are they still expecting something other than chastisement? Demons and evil spirits have been running amok on earth for a time, and have sealed off both the will and the painstaking effort of God so tightly that they are impenetrable. Truly, this is a mortal sin! How can God not feel anxious? How can God not feel wrathful? They have gravely hindered and opposed the work of God: How rebellious! Even those demons, big and small, behave like jackals at the heels of the lion, and follow the evil current, contriving disturbances as they go” (“Work and Entry (7)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh).
The enlightenment of God’s words allowed me to see clearly the true face of the CCP government. It utterly hates the truth and God, and it is terrified of Almighty God’s words spreading far and wide. To maintain its rule forever, it does all it can to stop God’s kingdom gospel from spreading, and it stops at nothing to arrest, torture and brutalize God’s chosen ones. The CCP government ravages and persecutes us believers like this because it wants to destroy God’s work in the last days. It does this in an attempt to utterly eradicate religious belief, to stop people from believing in and following God, and to turn China into an atheistic zone, thereby achieving its insane objective of controlling the Chinese people forevermore. Despite the fact that the CCP government proclaims to the outside world that there is “freedom of belief” and “the citizens of China enjoy lawful rights,” in truth, these are all outright lies intended to cheat, dupe and ensnare people, and they are ploys to conceal its evil ways! The CCP government behaves perversely and acts contrary to Heaven, and its essence is that of the devil Satan, of an enemy of God! Right at that moment, I absolutely had to silently make a resolution: I must not allow the painstaking price God has paid for me to have been in vain; I must have determination and a conscience, and no matter what cruel torture I have yet to endure, I will always stand witness for God. Just then, an awesome feeling of justice and righteousness rose up within me, and I felt God by my side, giving me strength. Afterward, no matter how the policemen electrocuted me, I felt no pain. I had once again witnessed God’s wondrous deeds; I became profoundly aware of God’s presence, that it was God protecting me and watching over me. The policemen tortured me for four hours but still obtained no information from me. Out of options, they could do nothing but untie me from the treadmill. I had not an ounce of strength anywhere in my body and I flopped down onto the floor. Two policemen dragged me back to the interrogation room and put me in a chair, then handcuffed me to a central heating pipe. Seeing them look so deflated, I couldn’t stop myself from expressing thanks and praise to God: “O Almighty God! I have experienced Your almightiness and sovereignty, and I see that Your life force can defeat all other forces. Thanks be to God!”
On the fourth day, five policemen came into the interrogation room. One of them carried an electroshock baton and made it crackle with electricity. Days of brutal torture had filled me with terror at the sight of a baton emitting that terrible blue light. An officer who hadn’t questioned me before came and stood before me, jabbed me with the electroshock baton and said, “I hear you’re a tough nut to crack. Today, I’ll see exactly how tough you are. I don’t believe we can’t fix you. Are you going to talk or not? If not, then you’ll meet your end this very day!” I replied, saying, “I don’t know anything.” This embarrassed him into a rage, and he violently dragged me off the chair onto the floor and held me there. Another policeman shoved the electroshock baton up under my shirt, yelling as he shocked my back, “Are you going to talk or not? If not, we’ll kill you!” Faced with their brutality and their hideous, leering faces, I couldn’t help but slip down into a state of terror, and hurriedly I called out to God: “O Almighty God! Please guide me! Please grant me true faith and strength!” The police continued to electrocute me while I wailed nonstop. It felt as though all the blood in my body was running into my head, and it hurt so much that I was covered in sweat and almost blacked out. Seeing that I still wasn’t going to talk, the police began to curse me in their rage. A little later when I was on the verge of passing out, they dragged me back up and cuffed me to the chair again, after which two of them took it in turns to watch me to make sure I didn’t fall asleep. By that time, I hadn’t eaten any food, drunk any water, or had any sleep for four days and nights. Adding to that the cruel torture they were inflicting on me, my body had reached its weakest state. I was both cold and hungry, and the pain of being both starving and freezing cold joined with the throbbing pain of my wounded body—I felt as though my life was nearing its end. In my extremely weakened state, a line of God’s words appeared in my mind: “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4). Pondering this, I understood that only the words of God could be my support to carry on living in such a situation as this, while at the same time I also realized that it was precisely this situation that God was using to perfect my entry into this aspect of the truth. As I contemplated this over and over, I unknowingly forgot all about my suffering, my hunger and the cold.
On the fifth day, the police saw that I was remaining steadfastly silent, and began to threaten me maliciously, saying, “You just wait until you’ve been sentenced. You’ll get seven years at least, but there’s still a chance to avoid it if you start talking now!” I then silently said a prayer to God: “O Almighty God! The CCP police say they will sentence me to seven years in prison, but I know that they don’t have the final say, as my fate is in Your hands. O God! I would rather be imprisoned for the rest of my life and stay on the true way than ever betray You!” After that, the police tried to lure me into betraying God by bringing in my unbelieving husband. When he saw me wearing handcuffs with cuts and bruises all over my whole body, he said miserably to me, “I’ve only ever seen handcuffs on TV. I never thought I’d see them on you.” Hearing him say this and seeing his sorrowful expression, I hurriedly prayed to God, asking Him to protect me so that I wouldn’t be caught by Satan’s trap because of my feelings for my family. After I’d prayed, I said calmly to my husband, “I believe in God, I don’t steal things or rob people. I just go to gatherings and read God’s words, and try to be an honest person as God requires. I haven’t committed any crime, but they want to sentence me to prison.” My husband replied, “I’ll find you a lawyer.” Seeing that my husband wasn’t trying to get me to hand over information about the church and my brothers and sisters, but was instead offering to hire me a lawyer, the policemen dragged him out of the room. I knew that this was God protecting me, because my feelings for my family ran very deep, if my husband had said anything that showed concern for my physical state, I don’t know whether I would have been able to stay strong. It was the guidance and protection of God that enabled me to overcome Satan’s temptation.
The police saw that they hadn’t caught me out and, spluttering with rage, they said, “We’ll give you an injection in a minute which will drive you mad. Then, we’ll let you go, and you won’t even be able to die!” This immediately threw me into a state of anxiety, and terror gripped me once again. I thought about how cruel and evil the CCP government is: Once they arrest someone in charge in the church, and when they still can’t get anything about the church out of them after vicious beatings and torture, they forcibly inject them with drugs that drive them mad and cause them to become schizophrenic—some brothers and sisters have been cruelly tortured and persecuted in this way by the CCP government. My heart began to pound in my chest at that thought, and I wondered: “Will I really be tormented by these CCP minions until I lose my mind and end up wandering around like a lunatic?” The more I thought about it, the more afraid I became, and I couldn’t stop the cold sweat from soaking my body. Hurriedly, I prayed and called out to God: “O Almighty God! The CCP minions want to inject me with drugs to drive me mad, and I’m afraid I’ll become a lunatic. O God! Although I know that I’m supposed to stand witness for You, I feel so timid and fearful right now. O God! Please protect my heart, and grant me true faith so that I might entrust my life and my death to You, and submit to Your orchestrations and arrangements.” Just then, the Lord Jesus’ words came to mind: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear Him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:28). The Lord’s words gave me faith and strength. “Yes,” I thought. “These devils may be able to kill and maim my body, but they cannot kill or maim my soul. Without God’s permission, I will not go crazy even if they do inject me with those drugs.” I then thought of God’s words that say: “When people are ready to sacrifice their lives, everything becomes trifling, and no one can get the better of them. What could be more important than life? Thus, Satan becomes incapable of doing any more in people, there is nothing it can do with man” (“Chapter 36” of Interpretations of the Mysteries of God’s Words to the Entire Universe in The Word Appears in the Flesh). As I pondered God’s words, the fear I felt deep inside me slowly vanished and I no longer felt that terror. Instead, I became willing to place myself in God’s hands and submit to God’s sovereignty whether I lived or died, and whether I became a lunatic or a simpleton. Just then, a policeman brought over the needle and the drug, and threatened me, saying, “Will you talk or not? If you don’t talk, I’ll inject you with this!” Utterly without fear, I said, “Do what you want. Whatever happens is on you.” Seeing that I wasn’t afraid, he said cruelly, “Go fetch the one with the AIDS virus! We’ll inject her with that.” As I still showed no fear, he clenched his teeth in anger, and said, “You bitch. You’re tougher than Liu Hulan!” He then threw the needle onto the table. I felt elated. Having witnessed how God’s words had guided me to once again humiliate Satan, I couldn’t help but offer up a prayer of gratitude to God. In the end, the police realized that they wouldn’t get the information they wanted out of me, so they walked away dejectedly.
Having played all their cards to no avail, the police could do nothing but send me to a detention house. As soon as I got there, the prison guards incited the other prisoners, saying, “She’s a believer in Eastern Lightning. Give her ‘a warm welcome’!” Before I’d even had a chance to react, several of the prisoners surged toward me and dragged me to the toilet and then, after stripping me of my clothes, proceeded to wash me in freezing cold water. Every pot of cold water poured over me felt like a rock hitting my body, freezing cold and painful, and I became so cold that I was shivering all over. I squatted down on the floor, my head in my hands, calling out to God over and over within my heart. After a while, one of the prisoners said, “OK, OK, that’s enough. Don’t want her getting sick.” The prisoners who were meting out this punishment on me only stopped when they heard that prisoner say this. When she learned that I hadn’t eaten anything in five days, at dinnertime she gave me half of a bun of steamed cornbread. I was well aware that this was God’s consideration for my weakness, moving this prisoner to help me. I saw that God was with me always, and from the bottom of my heart I thanked God for His mercy and salvation.
Inside the detention house, I lived together with all sorts of other prisoners. Every one of our three meals consisted of a piece of steamed cornbread and two strips of salted turnip, or else it was a bowl of cabbage soup with bugs floating in it with hardly any cabbage at all. Once a week, we were given a meal of fine grain, which was still just one steamed bun the size of a fist—it didn’t fill me up at all. Besides reciting the prison rules, every day in that place we were given work quotas for making small handicrafts that were impossible to meet. Because my hands had been damaged by the tight handcuffs and had been electrocuted to the point where I’d lost all feeling in them, and on top of that the handicrafts we had to make were so small, I couldn’t hold them, and was incapable of completing my overload of work. One time, because I hadn’t completed my work, the prison guards made the other prisoners watch me all night to prevent me from falling asleep. I was also frequently punished by being made to stand sentry duty, and was only allowed to sleep for four hours a night. During this time, the CCP police kept questioning me constantly. They had even put my son up to writing me a letter, trying to trick me into betraying God. But under the protection and guidance of God, I was able to see through Satan’s cunning schemes and stand witness time and time again. Despite the fact that they hadn’t managed to obtain anything incriminating, they still charged me with “disrupting public order” and sentenced me to three years of reeducation through labor.
On December 25, 2005, my sentence was served in full and I was released. Having experienced this struggle between justice and wickedness, though I had suffered in both body and mind, I still came to understand many truths, and I saw clearly the God-opposing, demonic essence of the CCP government. I also came to have some real understanding of God’s almightiness, sovereignty, wondrousness, and wisdom, and I truly experienced God’s love for me and His salvation. While those devils were torturing and persecuting me, it was the timely enlightenment and guidance of God’s words that formed my staunch support and that gave me the resolve and the courage to fight with Satan to the bitter end. When Satan was trying all manner of cunning schemes to tempt me and lure me into betraying God, it was God who used His words in the nick of time to caution me and guide me, and to wipe clean the dust from my spiritual eyes so that I could see through Satan’s schemes and stand firm in my testimony; when those demons inflicted terrible torture on me to the point that death seemed preferable and my life hung by a thread, God’s words became the foundation of my survival. They bestowed tremendous faith and strength on me, and enabled me to break free from the hold death had on me. All of these things allowed me to truly see God’s beautiful and kind essence—only God most loves mankind. The CCP government, on the other hand, this gang of Satan and demons, can only corrupt, harm and devour people! Today, in the face of the increasingly savage attacks inflicted upon The Church of Almighty God by the CCP government, I am steadfastly resolved to utterly forsake this old devil the CCP government, to give my heart to God, and to do my utmost to pursue the truth and seek to love God. I will spread God’s kingdom gospel and bring back before God all those who sincerely believe in God, who yearn for the truth, and who have been so deeply deceived by the CCP government, so that I may repay Him for gracing me with His salvation!
1. “Accomplices” are of the same ilk as “a band of hoodlums.”
a. The original text reads “it is a symbol of being unable to be.”