130. The Principles of Interacting With the Opposite Sex

(1) See clearly the evil essence of the depths of mankind’s corruption. Any person may fall into temptation at any time, so one must be cautious in their interactions with the opposite sex;

(2) As far as possible, avoid working in tandem with a member of the opposite sex. Should any evil thoughts arise, pray to God to eliminate them, and bend your mind and vigor to practicing the truth and performing your duty;

(3) The prudent see danger and take refuge. One should keep their distance from lascivious people, and should pray to God when faced with temptation, fleeing from the evil opposite sex and problematic situations;

(4) Learn to accept God’s scrutiny in all matters. One must redouble their reading of God’s words and reflect on whether they have evil intents, and should seek the truth in order to resolve their evil disposition.

Relevant Words of God:

There are currently some people in the church who embezzle money, some who do not keep clear boundaries between men and women, and some who judge, defy and try to demolish God’s work in secret. Why is all yet well with them? When doing such things, they possess awareness and feel reproach in their hearts and because of this they sometimes suffer chastisement and refinement, but they are just too shameless! Just like when people engage in promiscuity—they are aware of what they are doing at the time, but their lust is too great and they cannot control themselves. Even if the Holy Spirit disciplines them, it will be to no avail, so the Holy Spirit will not administer discipline. If the Holy Spirit does not discipline them then, if they feel no reproach and nothing happens to their flesh, what reproach could there be afterward? The deed is done—what discipline could there be? It only proves that they are too shameless and lacking in humanity, and that they are deserving of curses and punishment! The Holy Spirit does not work needlessly. If you know the truth very well but do not put it into practice, if you are capable of committing any evil, then all you can await is the coming of that day when you will be punished along with the evil one. This is the best end for you! Now I have repeatedly preached about conscience, which is the minimum criterion. If people lack conscience, then they have lost the discipline of the Holy Spirit; they can do whatever they wish and God pays them no mind. Those who truly have conscience and reason will be aware of it when they do something wrong. They will feel uneasy once they feel a bit of reproach in their conscience; they will undergo an inner battle and ultimately forsake the flesh. They will not reach the point where they do something that opposes God too gravely. Regardless of whether the Holy Spirit disciplines and chastises them, people will all have some feeling when they do something wrong. Therefore, people now understand all kinds of truths and if they do not practice them then that is a human issue. I do not react to people like this at all, nor do I hold onto any hope for them. You can do as you please!

Excerpted from “Practice (1)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh

Some people are very casual in their approach to contact with the opposite sex. They feel that it is no big deal so long as nothing happens, and neither is indulging in lustful thoughts or revealing some iniquitous passion. Should someone with normal humanity have such thoughts? Is this a sign of normal humanity? Once you are old enough to marry and come into contact with the opposite sex, and want to fall in love, do it normally, and no one will interfere. But some people don’t want to fall in love—they flirt for a couple of days with someone who catches their eye, and as soon as someone takes their fancy, they start to show off to the object of their desire. And how do they show off? A raised eyebrow, a wink of an eye, or a change in their tone of voice as they talk, or else they move a certain way or start making humorous remarks to get themselves noticed; this is showing off. When a person who is not normally like this exhibited these giveaway traits, you can be sure that there are some members of the opposite sex nearby who have caught their eye. Who are these people? You might say that they are unrestrained, or do not keep clear boundaries between men and women, but they have not exhibited any deplorable behavior. Some might say that they are simply being frivolous. In other words, they conduct themselves in an undignified way; frivolous people do not understand the need for self-respect. Some people exhibit these characteristics in everyday life, but the performance of their duties is not affected, nor has it affected the completion of their work, so is this really a problem? Some say: “As long as it does not hinder your pursuit of the truth, is there any need to talk about it?” What does this relate to? The shame and dignity of one’s humanity. A person’s humanity cannot be without shame and dignity, and without them theirs cannot be normal humanity. Some people are credible and are earnest and responsible in everything they do. They work hard, and are of good character, but they simply don’t take this aspect of their lives seriously. When you flirt with a member of the opposite sex, is this constructive, or destructive? What if the one you flirt with falls in love with you? You might say “That’s not what I wanted”; well, if you still flirt with someone when that’s not what you want, aren’t you toying with their feelings? You are harming them and acting without morals! People who do this are of very poor humanity. Furthermore, if you do not intend to pursue this relationship and are not serious about it, and yet you still raise your eyebrows and wink at the opposite sex, and show off with fun and humor, doing everything to show that you have style, that you are a handsome gentleman, showing off your good looks—if you show off like this, what are you actually doing? (Seducing people.) Now is this kind of seductive behavior a noble or an ugly thing? (It’s an ugly thing.) This is where there is no longer any dignity.

Excerpted from “They Would Have Others Obey Only Them, Not the Truth or God (Part Two)” in Exposing Antichrists

Some adorn themselves beautifully, but superficially: The sisters adorn themselves as prettily as flowers, and the brothers dress like princes or rich young dandies. They care only about external things, like the things they eat and wear; inside, they are destitute and have not the slightest knowledge of God. What meaning can there be in this? And then there are some who are dressed like poor beggars—they really look like East Asian slaves! Do you really not understand what I ask of you? Commune among yourselves: What have you actually gained? You have believed in God for all these years, and yet this is all that you have reaped—are you not embarrassed? Are you not ashamed? You have been pursuing on the true way for all these years, yet today your stature is still lower than a sparrow’s! Look at the young ladies among you, pretty as pictures in your clothes and makeup, comparing yourselves to one another—and what do you compare? Your pleasure? Your demands? Do you think I have come to recruit models? You have no shame! Where is your life? Is what you pursue not just your own extravagant desire? You think you are so beautiful, but though you might be dressed in all manner of finery, are you not in truth a wriggling maggot, born in a dung heap? Today, you are fortunate to enjoy these heavenly blessings not because of your pretty face, but because God is making an exception by raising you up. Is it still unclear to you where you came from? At the mention of life, you shut your mouth and say nothing, as dumb as a statue, yet still you have the gall to dress yourself up! Still you are inclined to apply blush and powder to your face! And look at the dandies among you, wayward men who spend the whole day sauntering about, unruly, with nonchalant expressions on their faces. Is this how a person should behave? What does each among you, man or woman, devote your attention to all day? Do you know upon whom you depend to feed yourselves? Look at your clothing, look at what you have reaped in your hands, rub your belly—what have you profited from the price of blood and sweat that you have paid over all these years of faith? You still think to go sightseeing, you still think to embellish your stinking flesh—worthless pursuits! You are asked to be a person of normality, yet now you are not simply abnormal, you are aberrant. How can such a person have the audacity to come before Me? With a humanity such as this, parading your charms and flaunting your flesh, living always within the lusts of the flesh—are you not a descendant of filthy demons and evil spirits? I will not allow such a filthy demon to remain in existence for long! And do not suppose I do not know what you think in your heart. You might keep your lust and your flesh under tight control, but how could I not know the thoughts you harbor in your heart? How could I not know all that your eyes desire? Do you young ladies not make yourselves so pretty in order to parade your flesh? What benefit are men to you? Can they truly save you from the sea of affliction? As for the dandies among you, you all dress to make yourselves seem gentlemanly and distinguished, but is this not a ruse designed to bring attention to your dashing looks? Who are you doing this for? What benefit are women to you? Are they not the source of your sin? You men and women, I have said many words to you, yet you have complied with but a few of them. Your ears are hard of hearing, your eyes have grown dim, and your hearts are hard to the point that there is nothing but lust in your bodies, such that you are ensnared in it, unable to escape. Who wants to go anywhere near you maggots, you who squirm in the filth and grime? Do not forget that you are nothing more than those whom I have raised from the dung heap, that you were not originally possessed of normal humanity. What I ask of you is the normal humanity that you did not originally possess, not that you parade your lust or give free rein to your rancid flesh, which has been trained by the devil for so many years. When you dress yourselves so, do you not fear that you will become more deeply ensnared? Do you not know that you were originally of sin? Do you not know that your bodies are filled so full with lust that it even seeps from your clothing, revealing your states as unbearably ugly and filthy demons? Is it not the case that you know this more clearly than anyone? Your hearts, your eyes, your lips—have they not all been defiled by filthy demons? Are these parts of you not filthy? Do you think that as long as you do not act, then you are the most holy? Do you think that dressing up in beautiful clothes can conceal your sordid souls? That will not work! I advise you to be more realistic: Do not be fraudulent and fake, and do not parade yourselves. You flaunt your lust to each other, but all you will receive in return is everlasting suffering and ruthless chastening! What need have you to bat your eyes at each other and indulge in romance? Is this the measure of your integrity, the extent of your uprightness? I loathe those among you who engage in evil medicine and sorcery; I loathe the young men and women among you who love their own flesh. You had better restrain yourselves, because you are now required to possess normal humanity, and you are not allowed to flaunt your lust—yet you take every opportunity you can, for your flesh is too plentiful, and your lust too great!

Excerpted from “Practice (7)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh

Humans are worthless wretches, for they do not treasure themselves. If they do not even love themselves, trampling on themselves instead, then does this not show their worthlessness? Humanity is like an immoral woman who plays games with herself and gives herself willingly to others to be violated. Even so, people still do not recognize just how lowly they are. They find pleasure in working for others or in talking with others, putting themselves under the control of others; is this not precisely the filthiness of humankind? Although I have not experienced a life among humanity, and have not truly experienced human life, I have gained a very clear understanding of every move, every action, every word, and every deed that humans make. I am even able to expose humans to their deepest shame, to the point that they no longer dare to reveal their own connivery or give way to their lust. Like snails that retreat into their shells, they no longer dare to expose their own ugly state. Because humans do not know themselves, their greatest flaw is a willingness to parade their charms before others, showing off their ugly countenances; this is a thing that God detests most. This is because the relations between people are abnormal, and there is a lack of normal interpersonal relationships between people, much less normal relationships between them and God.

Excerpted from “Chapter 14” of Interpretations of the Mysteries of God’s Words to the Entire Universe in The Word Appears in the Flesh

I am able to see clearly all people, events, and things. I understand with complete clarity the substance of every person, which is to say, I completely see through to the things a person harbors within themselves. I can see clearly if a person is a jezebel or a harlot, and I know who does what in secret. Do not flaunt your charms before Me, you wretch! Get out of here now! So as to avoid bringing shame on My name, I make no use of that kind of person! They cannot bear witness to My name, and instead act counterproductively and bring disgrace to My family! They shall be expelled from My house immediately. I do not want them. I will not tolerate a delay of even one second! For those people, no matter how they seek, it is futile, for in My kingdom all are holy and unblemished in any way. If I say I do not want someone—and that includes My own people—then I mean it; do not wait for Me to change My mind. I do not care how good you were to Me before!

Excerpted from “Chapter 90” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning in The Word Appears in the Flesh

Man has a corrupt disposition and is moreover possessed of emotions. As such, it is absolutely prohibited for two members of the opposite sex to work together unaccompanied when serving God. Any who are discovered doing so will be expelled, without exception.

Some brothers insist on fellowshiping only with sisters, and even on doing so alone. They really open up to the sisters when they fellowship with them, and refuse to do so with anyone else. These people are no good! Some sisters do not fellowship with other sisters, and never open up to them, exclusively seeking out brothers to fellowship with. What kind of people are these? Is there not a single sister who can support you? Is there not a single sister who will fellowship with you? Do they all despise you—is none right for you? Can you only get along with brothers? I think you have other motivations! There are people who stick exclusively to the opposite sex. You must overcome this using your resolve—do not indulge yourself wantonly. People have corrupt dispositions. If no strictures are imposed on them, they become terribly licentious. There must always be things to hold people in check and make them always bear these things in mind. With such things in place, people’s behavior is much better.

Excerpted from “A Talk About God’s Administrative Decrees in the Age of Kingdom” in Records of Talks of Christ of the Last Days

When certain people go into a group, they always try to attract the opposite sex. They wink and beckon with their eyes, their faces become highly expressive when they speak, and they love to show off. To use a rather inappropriate term for it, they become coquettish. They like to be seen as exceedingly funny, humorous, handsome, romantic, elegant, heroic, beautiful, gentlemanly, refined, knowledgeable, and so on; they especially love to show off. Why do such people try to show off? They do it to attract the opposite sex. The more attention they receive from the opposite sex—the more admiration, appreciation, and reverence they receive—the more they get into their performance. In church life, over time, such people tend to lock on to a few different targets. They try to sink their hooks into a few different members of the opposite sex, they seduce with their glances, and their words are often provocative or even sexually harassing. Are such interpersonal relationships proper? (No.) These relationships are improper. Such people do not even bother to drop their performances during gatherings. When in front of these members of the opposite sex whom they like and favor, their words become very funny, interesting, and inviting as they move their eyes and eyebrows animatedly, are bubbling with excitement, and even gesticulate and move around. And what is their purpose? It is to attract the opposite sex and have improper relationships. Despite the fact that this behavior disgusts many of their brothers and sisters, and even though many people around them may have warned them that this is a problem, nothing sinks in, and they refuse to give up or stop. If two people have this kind of relationship outside of church life and flirt with each other, if it does not affect the others in their church life, or if at least others do not hear about it, so it does not affect the moods of others or the efficacy of gatherings, then we can ignore such behavior for the moment. However, if this happens continuously within church life, and actually disturbs others, then restrictions should be placed on such an improper relationship, or the people involved should even be removed from church life. Would that be appropriate? (Yes.) If it is only a matter of a young person falling in love and dating normally, that sort of courtship should be kept low-key during gatherings so as not to affect others. This is a place where people worship God, where they pray-read His words and conduct spiritual devotionals, and personal feelings should not be brought into church life. If a relationship is brought into church life and it becomes a disruption to others, if it has an impact on the mood of other gathering attendees, if it affects people’s ability to read God’s words and gain knowledge and understanding of them, if it causes more people to be distracted and disturbed, then this relationship can be defined as an improper one. Even a proper romantic relationship can become improper if the participants cause a disturbance for others, and that is even more so of relations with the opposite sex that fall outside the bounds of a proper romantic relationship. Therefore, when such improper relationships arise in church life, everyone involved should be warned and prevented from going further, rather than acquiesced to or their actions condoned. Such people should be restricted, or even purged, according to the principles.

Excerpted from “Identifying False Leaders (14)” in Records of Talks of Christ of the Last Days

Some people are blessed with good looks, and are constantly finding themselves pursued by the opposite sex; the more people pursue them, the more they feel they can afford to show off. Isn’t this dangerous? What should you do in this situation? (Recognize and avoid this pitfall.) This really is a pitfall, which you must avoid—if you don’t, you may very well find that that person has snared you. You need to avoid this pitfall before you become ensnared; this is called self-control. People who have self-control have a sense of shame and a sense of dignity. Those who do not can be lured away by anyone who catches them; they respond to anyone who pursues them, which can land them in a great deal of trouble. Furthermore, they will also deliberately show off, preen and dress up, and whatever clothes they have to wear that can make themselves look more handsome, more attractive and pretty, they will specifically choose those to wear, and will wear them each and every day; this is dangerous and it shows that they are someone who is consciously attempting to seduce others. If you look too conspicuous, too seductive in these clothes, then you must forsake them and choose different clothes to wear. If you are resolved in this regard, there is nothing to stop you achieving this. If, however, you do not have this resolve, yet you want to look for a partner, then go ahead and find one: Interact normally with each other, without luring or seducing the other. If you are not looking for a partner, but lure and seduce others, this can only be termed as lacking a sense of shame. You have to be clear about what you are choosing, whether the path you are taking is right, and whether this is what you should be doing. Can you all abide by this? (We have this resolve.) If you have this resolve, then you have the energy, the motivation, and it will be easy to abide by this. Some people are essentially decent by nature, and moreover, having found faith in God, they are keen to pursue the truth and take the right path; they do not have that desire, and do not respond to anyone who attempts to lure them. Some people are quite prone to this, while others don’t pay it any heed; some people seem to have this resolve, but even they themselves cannot tell whether they in fact do or do not. This is something you must deal with correctly and re-examine, and understand how this is an integral part of the dignity and shame of normal humanity.

Excerpted from “They Would Have Others Obey Only Them, Not the Truth or God (Part Two)” in Exposing Antichrists

Resolving one’s nature begins with forsaking the flesh, and forsaking the flesh also requires having principles. Can one forsake the flesh while muddleheaded? As soon as you encounter a problem, you give in to the flesh. Some brothers may stop in their tracks at the sight of a beautiful woman; if you do this, too, then you must establish a motto for yourself. When a beautiful woman comes up to you, should you leave or what? What should you do if she reaches out to hold your hand? If you have no principles, facing such a situation will cause you to stumble. What should you do if your eyes go green with envy at the sight of money and wealth? You should specifically put your mind to this problem, and focus on training yourself to resolve it, and you will gradually be able to forsake the flesh. There is a principle which is quite crucial, and that is that you should bring your issues before God and seek more. In addition, every evening, you must examine your conditions and scrutinize your own behavior: Which of your acts were done in accordance with the truth, and which were in violation of principles? This is yet another principle. These two points are most vital: One is that you must examine the issues when they happen, and the other is to self-reflect afterward. The third principle is to be perfectly clear on what is meant by practicing truth and what is referred to as handling matters in a principled manner. Once you are crystal clear on this, you will handle matters correctly. By adhering to these three principles, you will be able to exercise restraint. Your corrupt nature will not be able to reveal itself or resurface. These are also the fundamental principles for resolving human nature.

Excerpted from “Practicing the Truth and Resolving One’s Nature” in Records of Talks of Christ of the Last Days

Whether you can be saved does not depend on how great your seniority or how many years you have been working, and much less does it depend on how many credentials you have built up. Rather, it depends on whether your pursuit has borne fruit. You ought to know that those who are saved are the “trees” that bear fruit, not the trees with lush foliage and abundant flowers that yet yield no fruit. Even if you have spent many years wandering the streets, what does that matter? Where is your testimony? Your reverence for God is far less than your love for yourself and your lustful desires—is this kind of person not a degenerate? How could they be a specimen and model for salvation? Your nature is incorrigible, you are too rebellious, you are beyond salvation! Are such people not those that will be eliminated? Is the time when My work is finished not the time of the arrival of your last day? I have done so much work and spoken so many words among you—how much of it has truly entered your ears? How much of it have you ever obeyed? When My work ends, that will be the time when you stop opposing Me, when you stop standing against Me. As I work, you act against Me constantly; you never comply with My words. I do My work, and you do your own “work,” making your own little kingdom. You are nothing but a pack of foxes and dogs, doing everything in opposition to Me! You are constantly trying to bring those who offer you their undivided love into your embrace—where is your reverence? Everything you do is deceitful! You have no obedience or reverence, and everything you do is deceitful and blasphemous! Can such people be saved? Men who are sexually immoral and lascivious always want to draw coquettish harlots to them for their own enjoyment. I absolutely will not save such sexually immoral demons. I hate you filthy demons, and your lasciviousness and coquettishness will plunge you into hell. What have you to say for yourselves? You filthy demons and evil spirits are repulsive! You are disgusting! How could such trash be saved? Can they who are ensnared in sin still be saved? Today, this truth, this way, and this life do not attract you; rather, you are attracted to sinfulness; to money; to standing, fame and gain; to the enjoyments of the flesh; to the handsomeness of men and charms of women. What qualifies you to enter My kingdom? Your image is even greater than God’s, your status even higher than God’s, to say nothing of your prestige among men—you have become an idol that people worship. Have you not become the archangel? When people’s outcomes are revealed, which is also when the work of salvation will draw near its end, many of those among you will be corpses beyond salvation and must be eliminated.

Excerpted from “Practice (7)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh

Today, all who cannot accept God’s scrutiny cannot receive His approval, and those who do not know God incarnate cannot be perfected. Look at all that you do, and see if it can be brought before God. If you cannot bring all that you do before God, this shows that you are an evildoer. Can evildoers be perfected? All that you do, every action, every intention, and every reaction should be brought before God. Even your daily spiritual life—your prayers, your closeness to God, how you eat and drink of God’s words, your fellowship with your brothers and sisters, and your life within the church—and your service in partnership can be brought before God for His scrutiny. It is such practice that will help you achieve growth in life. The process of accepting God’s scrutiny is the process of purification. The more you can accept God’s scrutiny, the more you are purified and the more you are in accord with God’s will, so that you will not be drawn into debauchery, and your heart will live in His presence. The more you accept His scrutiny, the greater are Satan’s humiliation and your ability to forsake the flesh. So, the acceptance of God’s scrutiny is a path of practice people should follow. No matter what you do, even when communing with your brothers and sisters, you can bring your acts before God and seek His scrutiny and aim to obey God Himself; this will make what you practice much more correct. Only if you bring all you do before God and accept God’s scrutiny can you be someone who lives in the presence of God.

Excerpted from “God Perfects Those Who Are After His Own Heart” in The Word Appears in the Flesh

Previous: 129. The Principles of Making Amends and Apologizing to Others

Next: 131. The Principles of Treating Others Fairly

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