How to Pursue the Truth (14) Part Two
Apart from conditioning them with sayings like “Men do not shed tears easily,” parents often tell boys: “‘A good rooster doesn’t fight dogs; a good man doesn’t fight women’; don’t play around with or fight girls; don’t stoop to their level; they’re girls, and you should go easy on them.” Why should you go easy on them? If they’ve done something wrong, you shouldn’t go easy on them or spoil them. Men and women are equal. They were born and raised by mom and dad just like you, so why should you go easy on them? Just because they’re women? They should be punished when they do wrong, be educated about it, admit their mistake, apologize, understand what they did wrong, and that they shouldn’t repeat the same mistake next time they meet with such matters. You should learn how to help them, instead of following the principle “A good man doesn’t fight women” that your parents taught you to approach the situation. All people make mistakes at some time or another, men and women both. When they do, they should admit their mistakes and repent from them. Both men and women should walk the right path and live with dignity, instead of adhering to what their parents said: “A good rooster doesn’t fight dogs; a good man doesn’t fight women.” A good man does not show himself by not fighting women, nor does he show himself by not stooping to their level. You see, parents often say: “Women have long hair but are short of insight. They have no prospects, don’t be like them, don’t get serious with them or pay attention to them.” What do you mean “don’t pay attention to them”? The issue of principles needs to be clarified and explained. Who made the mistake, who said the positive or the negative thing, whose mention of a path was correct—matters involving principles, paths, and self-comportment must be clarified. Don’t blur the line between right and wrong; even for a woman, you ought to make things clear. If you really are taking her into consideration, then you should tell her the truth that people should understand, help her walk the right path, don’t indulge her, and don’t avoid getting serious or clarifying things just because she’s a woman. Women, too, should live with dignity and should not indulge themselves or refuse to be reasonable just because men are compromising with them. Men and women are different only in terms of their physiology, but in the eyes of God, their identity and status are the same. They are both created beings, and apart from their gender differences, there isn’t much that sets them apart. They both experience corruption and share the same principles of self-comportment. God’s required standards are identical for both men and women, without distinction. So, does the parental teaching of “A good man doesn’t fight women” hold true? (It doesn’t.) What is the correct approach then? It’s not about engaging in fights but aligning your practice to principles. What do parents mean by such remarks? Is this not favoring sons over daughters? They seem to be saying, “Women have long hair but are short of insight. They are naive, their intellect is negligible. Why even reason with them? They wouldn’t get it. As the saying goes, ‘Women with big breasts have no brains, they have long hair but are short of insight.’ Why would you bother about women or get serious with them?” Are women not human? Does God not save women? Does He not share the truth with them, or give them life? Is that the case? (No, it’s not.) If God doesn’t do this, if He doesn’t treat women unfairly, then how should you act? Treat women according to the principles God teaches you; don’t accept your parents’ thoughts or foster chauvinistic tendencies. While your bones and muscles might be a bit sturdier than women, you might have a larger build and greater physical strength, you might consume more food, yet your corrupt disposition, rebelliousness, and the extent to which you do not understand the truth is no different from women. The life skills in which you excel may be different from those of women: You are skilled with electronics and machinery, while women are good at embroidery, tailoring, and mending. Can you do those things? While men are adept builders, women excel in beauty treatment. While men can operate various machinery and equipment, women aren’t lacking either. Where exactly do women fall short? All such comparisons are pointless. The point here is for you to let go of your chauvinism. Don’t accept thoughts like “A good man doesn’t fight women”; the things parents say are not the truth, they are harmful to you. Don’t ever say these things that are degrading to women—this goes blatantly against reason and propriety. What sort of issue is that of disrespecting women? Do people who do things like this even possess humanity? (They do not.) They are devoid of humanity. If you disrespect women, remember that your mother, both your grandmothers, and your sisters are all women. Are they willing to accept such disrespect? Certain mothers even tell their sons, “A good man doesn’t fight women.” Aren’t these mothers fools? Mothers like this are simple-minded, and being women themselves, they diminish their own worth; clearly they are muddlers who have no idea what they’re saying. The statement “A good man doesn’t fight women” goes blatantly against reason and propriety. God has never defined women in this way, nor has He ever admonished men, saying, “Women are fragile, they have long hair but are short of insight, and they lack common sense. Don’t fight them. Even if you do, you will be unable to work things out clearly. In everything, be forgiving and accommodating, don’t get serious with them; men should be broad-minded and all-embracing.” Has God ever said anything like this? (He hasn’t.) Since God has never said such things, don’t do them or look at women with such viewpoints. This is discrimination and disrespect toward women. You can fill in where women lack the necessary skills, but you also need them to do the same where your skills are found lacking. Mutual dependency and complementing each other is the correct viewpoint. Why is this the correct viewpoint? Because the strengths of both men and women are ordained by God. What thoughts and viewpoints should you adopt to approach the fact that the strengths of both men and women are ordained by God? It is to complement each other—this is the principle of practice. Men should not discriminate against women, and women should not be overly deferential to men, thinking, “Finally, we have a brother in our church, a pillar of strength. Now our church is complete, there is someone to back us up and handle things on our behalf, to take the lead for us.” Are you inferior? Is your faith placed in men? If a church consisted solely of sisters, would it mean that you don’t have faith in God anymore? That you can’t be saved or understand the truth? When someone makes the off-handed comment, “Why doesn’t your church have any brothers?” you feel as if you’d been stabbed in the heart, saying, “Don’t bring it up, it’s the one shortcoming of our church. We don’t want it to be pointed out; you’ve touched on our only regret,” and you pray, “God, when will You prepare a brother for our church?” Is the church sustained by brothers? Can it not stand without brothers? Has God ever said this? (No, He hasn’t.) God never said this, nor did He ever say that a church must have both genders before it can be founded, or that it cannot be founded with only one gender. Did He ever say this? (No.) These are all consequences of family-conditioned chauvinism. You rely on men for everything, and as soon as something comes up you say, “I need to wait to discuss it when my husband returns,” or “Our church brothers have been busy recently, so no one is taking the lead to handle this matter.” So what are women for? Are you unable to handle these tasks? Do you not have any mouths or legs? You lack nothing: You understand the truth principles, and you should act accordingly. Men are not your heads, nor are they your masters; they are just ordinary people, members of corrupt humanity. Learn to rely on God and His words in everything you do. This is the principle and way you should follow, instead of depending on any one person. While I don’t advocate chauvinism, of course I do this not in order to elevate women’s rights or vindicate them, but rather to help people understand a facet of the truth. Which facet of the truth? That the saying instilled in you by your parents, “A good man doesn’t fight women,” is incorrect; it’s instilling and guiding a wrong thought. You shouldn’t be led by this thought and viewpoint in your role as a man or in how you treat women. This is an aspect of the truth that you should understand. Don’t always think, “I am a man, I should consider issues from a man’s perspective, I should show consideration for these sisters and protect, tolerate, and forgive them from the stance of a man, not getting serious with any of them. If a sister wants to run for election to be a leader in the church, I’ll treat her with courtesy, and let her lead.” On what grounds? Just because you’re a man, you think you’re all-embracing? Can you be tolerant of them? You can’t even tolerate yourself. Church leadership should be determined by who is fit for the role. If brothers and sisters choose you, you ought to shoulder this burden. It’s both your responsibility and your duty. Why are you declining so casually? To show how noble you are? Is that the principle of practice? Is it in line with the truth? (It isn’t.) It’s wrong to decline and wrong to fight for it; so, what’s the right way to act? The right way is to base your actions on God’s words and take the truth as your criteria. Your parents taught you that “A good man doesn’t fight women.” How many years have you lived with this chauvinistic thought and viewpoint? Many people think, “Washing and mending are all women’s work. Let women handle them. I feel exasperated when I have to do these tasks; I feel like less of a man.” So, what happens if you do this work? Are you no longer a man? Some people say, “My clothes were always washed by my mother, sister, or grandmother. I’ve never done ‘women’s work.’” Now, you’re performing your duty, and you have to be independent. This is what you should do; it’s what God demands of people. Will you do it? (Yes.) If your heart is resistant, you’re unwilling and you’re always thinking of your mother due to this matter, then you really are a good-for-nothing. Men have these chauvinistic thoughts, and they look down upon certain tasks like taking care of children, tidying up the house, doing the washing, and cleaning. Some have strong chauvinistic tendencies, and disdain these chores, are unwilling to do them, or if they do them, they do so begrudgingly, fearing that others may think less of them. They think, “If I’m always doing these chores, won’t I become effeminate?” What thought and viewpoint is this governed by? Isn’t there a problem with their thought? (Yes, there is.) Their thought is problematic. Look at certain regions where men are always wearing aprons and cooking. When the woman returns home from work, the man serves her food, saying, “Here, have a bite to eat. It’s really tasty; I made all your favorites today.” The woman rightfully eats the ready-made meal, and the man rightfully prepares it, never feeling like a housewife. Once he steps outside and removes his apron, isn’t he still a man? In certain regions where chauvinism is particularly strong, they are undeniably spoiled by family conditioning and influence. Has this conditioning saved them or harmed them? (It has harmed them.) It has been detrimental to them. Some men in their thirties, forties, or even fifties can’t wash their own socks. They wear an undershirt for half a month, it’s already dirty but they don’t want to wash it; they are clueless about how to wash it, about how much water or detergent to use, and how to get it clean. They just wear it like that and think to themselves, “In the future, I’ll have my mother or my wife buy me more undershirts and socks so that I can wash them once every two months. It’d be great if there are chances for my mom or wife to come and wash them for me!” The root of their aversion to doing these tasks has a certain relation to the education they received at the hands of their family and parents. The thoughts and viewpoints parents instill touch on the most basic and simplest rules for living, as well as certain incorrect views about people. In summary, all these constitute family conditioning of people’s thoughts. Regardless of how much impact they have on a person’s life over the course of their faith in God and existence, or how much trouble and inconvenience they bring, intrinsically they have a certain relation to the ideological education of parents. If you are an adult now and have lived according to these thoughts and viewpoints for many years, then they won’t change overnight—it takes time. If these thoughts and viewpoints pertain to performing one’s duty or to principles of behaving and dealing with the world, and if you are pursuing the truth, you should strive to change these issues and enter into the truth reality as soon as possible. If they only relate to aspects of one’s personal life, it would be better if you were willing to change. If you can’t achieve this, if it seems a bit too taxing or difficult, or you’re even already accustomed to this lifestyle and cannot change, then no one is forcing you. I’m merely pointing these out so you know what’s right and what’s wrong. As for these personal lifestyle issues, weigh them out yourself—we won’t force the matter. As for how often you wash your socks, and whether you mend them or throw them away when they tear, that’s your business. Base it on your circumstances—we won’t set any specific rules.
In some families, due to their privileged background, parents often tell their children, “When you go out, remember who you are descended from and who your ancestors are. You should act in a way among social groups that brings honor and glory to our family name. Never tarnish our ancestor’s reputation. Always remember the teachings of our ancestors and do not bring shame to our lineage. If one day you make a mistake, people will say, ‘Aren’t you from a prominent and respectable family? How could you do something like this?’ They’ll laugh at you, but they won’t just be laughing at you, but at our entire family. In that case, you would be smearing our family’s name and causing shame to our ancestors, which is unacceptable.” Some parents also tell their children, “Our country is a great nation and an ancient civilization. Our current life didn’t come easily, so cherish it. Especially when you’re abroad, you must win glory and honor for the Chinese people. Don’t do anything that might disgrace our nation or hurt the reputation of the Chinese people.” In one respect, parents tell you to win glory and honor for your family and ancestors, and in another, for your nation and ethnicity, urging you not to bring shame to your country. From a young age, children are educated in this manner by their parents, and when they go to school their teachers educate them the same way, saying, “Win glory for our class, our school, our city, and our country. Don’t let foreigners mock us, saying we lack caliber or have poor character.” Some in the church even say, “We Chinese believed first. When we interact with foreign brothers and sisters, we should win glory for the Chinese people and uphold their reputation.” All these sayings are directly related to what families instill into people. Is this kind of instilling correct? (No, it’s not.) Why isn’t it? What glory are they seeking? Is there any use in seeking such glory? (No, there isn’t.) There was an incident where a guy from Northeast China was visiting different churches; he took 10,000 yuan of the church’s offering money, and ran off back home to spend his days. When the brothers and sisters from the Northeast found out, some said, “This guy is detestable! He even dared to take the church’s offering money. He has completely tarnished the reputation of people from the Northeast! If we ever see him again, we should teach him a lesson!” After this incident, people from the Northeast felt as though they had lost their honor. Whenever they were talking around brothers and sisters from other provinces, they dared not bring up this matter. They felt embarrassed, and were afraid that others might say, “So-and-so from your Northeast region ran off with the offering money.” They were afraid of others talking about it, and didn’t dare to bring it up themselves. Is this behavior right? (No, it isn’t.) Why is it wrong? (Who takes the offering money has nothing to do with others; everyone represents themselves.) That’s right. That person taking the offering money is his own business. If you discovered it and stopped him, thereby salvaging the loss to the house of God and preserving its interests, you would have fulfilled your responsibility. If you had no opportunity to prevent it and couldn’t salvage the loss, then you should have recognized what sort of wretch he is, admonished yourself, prayed to God to protect you from such an incident and ensure that you don’t fall into similar temptation. You should address this issue correctly. Although he’s from your region, his actions only represent him as an individual. It’s not that the people of that region taught or encouraged him to act this way. It has no connection to anyone else. Others may at most be accountable for inadequate supervision or direction, but no one is obligated to bear the consequences of his wrongdoing. He acted against God and offended the administrative decrees, no one else is obligated to bear the consequences for him. His disreputability is his own affair. Moreover, this matter isn’t about losing face or gaining glory; it concerns one person’s nature essence and the path he has taken. It can only be said that, initially, people failed to discern his true character, but after this incident his true colors were revealed. This has nothing to do with the reputation or dignity of other brothers and sisters in that region. If you feel that because he’s from the same region as you, he has disgraced you, then such a view and understanding is entirely misguided. God’s house never punishes an entire family for the sins of a single person; God views each individual as a separate entity. No matter where you come from, even if you’re from the same family or parents, God sees every person as a unique entity. God never implicates any related individual because of one person’s mistakes. This is the principle, and it aligns with the truth. However, if you think that someone from your region doing wrong harms your reputation and implicates you too, this is due to your erroneous understanding, and has nothing to do with the truth. Hence, when parents tell you, “Win glory for our country, family, or surname,” is this correct? (No.) Why not? Which phrase does it share the same nature with? Doesn’t it share the same nature as the thought we discussed earlier, namely, “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies”? In a person’s life, doing positive deeds, walking the right path, embracing positive things and the truth—none of this is done in order to do themselves credit. Instead, people should comport themselves like this: This is their responsibility, the path they should walk, and their duty. Walking the right path, embracing positive things and the truth, and submitting to God are people’s obligation and duty. They’re also for the sake of attaining salvation, not in order to earn face for oneself or God, not, of course, to earn face for the people of your country, and certainly not for a particular surname, race, or clan. You don’t become saved in order to win glory for the people of your country, and certainly not to win glory for your family. The idea of “winning glory” is just a theory. Your salvation has nothing to do with those people. What benefit can they derive from your salvation? If you receive salvation, what can they gain from this? They do not follow the right path, and God, with His righteous disposition, will treat them accordingly. He will treat them as they ought to be treated. What does this so-called “winning glory” bring them? It has nothing to do with them. You accept the consequences for the path that you take, and they accept the consequences of their own path. God treats every individual according to His righteous disposition. Winning glory for one’s nation, family, or surname isn’t the responsibility of any one person. Naturally, you shouldn’t bear this responsibility alone, and in fact, you can’t. The rise or decline of a family or clan, its course, and its fate have nothing to do with whether you win them glory. And of course, it has nothing to do with the path you take. If you comport yourself well and are able to submit to God, it isn’t to win glory for them or do them credit, nor is it to claim any rewards from God on their behalf or to secure any exemption from punishment for them. Their rise, their fall, and their fate have nothing to do with you. Especially concerning whether or not they feel honored, and whether or not you win glory for them—these have no relevance to you. You cannot bear them on your shoulders, and you have no responsibility or obligation to do so. Therefore, when your parents tell you, “You must win glory for our nation, family, or surname, and you must not tarnish the reputation of our ancestors or let others reproach us behind our backs,” these words only serve to apply negative psychological pressure on you. You can’t live up to them, nor do you have any obligation to do so. Why? Because God only requires you to fulfill your duty as a created being before Him. He doesn’t ask you to do anything or bear any obligation for your country, family, or surname. Therefore, winning glory for your country or family, or winning glory and honor or doing anything for your surname is not your obligation. It has nothing to do with you. Their fate is solely in the hands of God, and you don’t need to shoulder any burdens at all. If you make any mistakes, you shouldn’t feel any guilt toward them. If you do any good deeds, you shouldn’t have the mindset that you were lucky or think that you’ve won glory for your country, family, or surname. Do not rejoice over these things. And if you fail, don’t feel frightened or weighed down by grief. Don’t blame yourself. Because it has nothing to do with you at all. Don’t even think about it—it’s as simple as that. So, concerning people of different nationalities, Chinese people are chosen by God; they come before God and are created beings. Westerners come before God, and they are created beings too. Asians, Europeans, North and South Americans, those in Oceania, and Africans, come before God and accept His work, and they are also His created beings. No matter which country a person is from, the only thing they should do is to fulfill their duty as a created being, accept God’s words, submit to God’s words, and attain salvation. They shouldn’t form various clan groups based on their own nationality, dividing themselves into groups or races. Everything that takes racial glory as the objective of its struggle or as its fundamental principle is wrong. This is not the path people should walk, and it is a phenomenon that should not appear within the church. There will come a day, as people from different countries interact more widely and have access to a broader area of the globe, when an Asian might encounter a European, a European might meet an American, and an American might come into contact with an Asian or African, etc. When different races gather together, if there are groups formed on the basis of race, all striving for their own racial glory and doing things for their race, what will the church begin to face? It will face division. This is something that God detests and condemns. Whoever does this is cursed, whoever acts this way is a servant of Satan, and whoever acts in such a manner will be an object of punishment. Why will they be punished? Because this is a violation of the administrative decrees. Never do this. If you can act this way, it proves you haven’t let go of this aspect of your parents’ conditioning. You haven’t accepted the identity that God gave you as a created being, and you still see yourself as Chinese, or as a white, black, or brown person—as someone from a different race, surname, or nationality. If you wish to bring glory to your nation, race, or family, and you act with this thought in your mind, the consequences will be dire. Today, we solemnly declare and earnestly clarify this matter here. If one day anyone goes against this aspect of the administrative decrees, they will bear the consequences. At that time, do not complain, saying, “You didn’t tell me, I didn’t know, I didn’t understand.” You’ve long known your identity as a created being, yet you can still act this way: This means that you weren’t ignorant, but did it deliberately, knowingly committing the offense. You should face punishment. The consequences of going against the administrative decrees are unimaginable. Do you understand? (Yes, we understand.)
Some parents tell their children, “No matter where we go, we must not forget our roots. We can’t forget where we were born and raised, or who we are. Wherever you go, when you meet your townsmen, you should take care of them. When choosing church leaders or supervisors, prioritize people from your hometown. When the church has any material benefit, let the folks from your hometown enjoy them first. If you’re selecting members for a group, choose people from your hometown first. When fellow townsmen work together, you share a common language and a familiarity.” What is this called? “When fellow townsmen meet, tears well up in their eyes.” There’s also the saying, “Uncles and aunts are kin, generation after generation: Though the bones may be broken, the sinews are still connected.” Some people, due to their parents’ and elders’ instruction, as soon as they hear that someone comes from the same province or town, or if they hear the person speaking with the accent of their hometown, they grow very fond of them. They eat together, sit together at gatherings, and do everything together. They are especially close. Some people, upon meeting a fellow townsman, might say, “You know what they say, ‘When fellow townsmen meet, tears well up in their eyes.’ When I meet a fellow townsman, I feel close to them: When I met you it felt as though you were family.” They take special care of their fellow townsmen. If their townsmen encounter difficulties in life or work, or if they are ill, they take special care of them. Is this good? (No, it’s not good.) Why isn’t it good? (Treating people like this lacks principles.) It lacks principles, and this person is a muddler. They show affection to whomever is a fellow townsman, but what are fellow townsmen? Are they good people? Are they true brothers and sisters? Is your promotion of them in accordance with principles? Does your recommendation of them align with the principles? Are they suitable for the job? Is your care for them and your closeness to them fair? Does it conform to the truth and to principles? If not, then what you’re doing for them is inappropriate, and it is detestable to God. Do you understand? (I understand.) Therefore, when your parents tell you, “Take care of fellow townsmen when you meet them,” this is a fallacy, and you should put it at the back of your mind and ignore it. In the future, if your parents ask you, “That fellow townsman of ours is in the same church as you. Did you take care of him?” how should you respond? (In God’s house, we treat everyone equally.) You should say, “I’m not obligated to do that. Forget townsman, I wouldn’t even take care of you if you stand in opposition to God.” There are some people who are heavily influenced by these kinds of traditional family notions. As soon as they meet anybody who is somewhat related to them, or shares the same last name, or belongs to the same clan, they can’t get around them. As soon as they hear that someone shares their last name, they say, “Oh goodness, we’re all family here. Based on my current position in the family, I should call her my great-aunt. I’m one of the grandchildren compared to her.” They willingly refer to themselves as grandchildren, and when they see her they dare not address her as sister or anything else; they always call her “great-aunt.” When some people meet someone with the same surname, they feel especially close to them, regardless of what kind of person they are. Is this right? (No.) In particular, some families have a tradition of taking special care of those who are from the same clan, and they are often courteous with them and interact closely with these people. Thus, it seems like their home is always bustling with people and activity, and the family appears to be especially lively and prosperous. When something happens, distant relatives all come to lend a hand and help out, giving advice and suggestions. Influenced by this family culture, some feel that comporting themselves like this is a good thing to do; at the very least, they’re not isolated or lonely, and have people to help when matters arise. What notions do other people have? “To live among people, one must act personably.” Though this saying is difficult to explain, everyone can understand its meaning. “One must live with human sentiments. Can someone still be called a human if they don’t have human sentiments? If you’re always serious and in earnest, if you’re always concerned with principles and stances, in the end, you’ll be left without any relatives or friends. You need to have human sentiments while living among social groups. People who have nothing to do with our surname are another story, but among those with the same surname or clan, isn’t everyone close? You cannot leave any of them. When you face matters such as illness, marriage, funerals, or other major and minor events, don’t you need someone to discuss it with? When you buy a house, a car, or land, anyone can lend a helping hand. You can’t leave these people; you have to rely on them in life.” Because you are deeply influenced by this family culture, when you are out, and especially in the church, and see someone from the same clan, you subconsciously gravitate toward them, having a particular fondness for them, often giving them special care and treatment, and getting along with them in a special way. Even when they make mistakes, you are often lenient with them. For those not related by blood, you treat them impartially. But for those from your clan, you tend to be protective and favor them, which in plain terms is called “being partial to relatives.” Some people are often guided by these thoughts, not treating people or handling affairs in life based on the principles God teaches but based on the influence of family culture. Isn’t this wrong? (Yes.) For example, someone with the surname Zhang might address another person with the same surname who is a few years older as “older sister.” Others might think they are real sisters, but in fact, they’re unrelated people sharing the same surname, and have no blood relation at all. Why does she address her this way? It’s the influence of family culture. Wherever they go the two are inseparable, she shares everything with her “older sister” and not with outsiders. Why? “Because she’s a Zhang, just like me. We’re family. I have to tell her everything. If not her, then who? If I didn’t trust my family, but I trusted strangers instead, wouldn’t that be silly? However you approach it, outsiders are unreliable; only family can be trusted.” When choosing church leaders, she chooses her, and when people ask, “Why did you choose her?” she says, “Because she shares the same surname as me. Wouldn’t it be against all reason and propriety if I didn’t choose her? If I didn’t choose her, would I even be human?” Whenever the church has material benefits or good things to offer, she thinks of her first. “Why did you think of her first?” “Because she has the same surname as me, she is a part of my family. If I didn’t take care of her, who would? Would I even be human if I didn’t have this basic human sentiment?” Regardless of whether these things arise from affection or selfish motives, in short, if you are influenced and conditioned by these thoughts from your family, you should immediately turn back and stop behaving, dealing with things, and treating people using these methods. No matter how narrow or broad these methods may be, they are not the principles and methods God has taught you. At the very least, they are the thoughts and viewpoints you ought to let go of. In short, any family conditioning that does not align with the principles God teaches you should be let go of. You shouldn’t treat others or interact with them using these methods, nor should you handle matters this way. Some might argue, “If I don’t handle things this way, I won’t know how to handle them at all.” That’s easily managed. God’s words provide principles for handling various matters. If you can’t find a path of practice in God’s words, look for a brother or sister who understands this truth and ask them. They will clarify things so that you will understand. These are the things people should let go of when it comes to treating issues related to clan, surname, and the ways of the world.
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