How should people let go of these unrealistic fantasies about marriage? They should rectify their thoughts and views on romance and marriage. First, people should let go of their so-called view on love, let go of the illusory things and sayings such as loving someone until the seas dry up and the rocks turn to dust, the unwavering love until death, and the love that lasts from life to life. People don’t know if they will have that love for all their life, let alone into future lives or until the seas dry up and the rocks turn to dust. How many years will it take for the seas to dry up and the rocks to turn to dust? Wouldn’t people be monsters if they could live that long? It’s good enough just to live this life well, and to live it with awareness and clarity. It’s good enough just to play your role well in marriage, to do what a man or woman should do, to perform the obligations and responsibilities that a man or woman should perform, to fulfill your mutual responsibilities, support each other, help each other, and be with each other for life. This is a perfect and proper marriage, and all that other stuff, that so-called love, those so-called solemn pledges of love, that love that lasts from life to life—these things are all useless, they have nothing to do with the marriage God has ordained, and nothing to do with God’s instructions and exhortations to men and women. This is because no matter what the premise to any marriage is, or what the individual conditions of the husband or wife are, whether poor or rich, or what talents, social status, and social background they might have, or whether they’re a perfect match or the perfect couple; no matter whether the marriage came together because of love at first sight or whether it was arranged by parents, whether it happened accidentally or was formed through the love of long association—no matter what kind of marriage it is, as long as the two people get married and enter into marriage, then this marriage must necessarily come back down to earth, back to the real life of the daily necessities. No one can escape real life, and every marriage, whether it has love or not, must eventually return to daily life. For example, the utility bills need paying and the wife complains, “Oh my, the bills have gone up again. Everything is going up, everything except wages. How can people live when the prices of things are going up like this?” But despite her complaints, she still has to use water and electricity, and she has no choice. So she pays the bills, and once they’re paid she has to save money on food and expenses, trying to save back the money that she’s had to pay extra for the higher bills. Seeing that there are discounted vegetables in the market, the husband says, “Beans are on sale today. Buy more, buy enough for two weeks.” The wife says, “How much should we buy? If we buy too much and can’t eat it all, it’ll spoil. And if we buy that much, we won’t even be able to fit it all in the freezer!” The husband replies, “If we can’t fit it all in, couldn’t we just eat more? We can eat beans twice a day. Don’t always be so concerned about buying expensive things to eat!” The husband receives his wages and says, “I’ve received a bonus again this month. If I get a big end-of-year bonus, we can go on holiday. Everyone’s going on holiday to the Maldives or Bali. I’ll take you there on vacation too, so you can have a good time.” The fruit trees around their home bear an abundance of fruit, and the husband and wife have a discussion: “We didn’t get a good crop last year. The fruits this year are huge, so we can sell some and make some money. Once we’ve made some money, perhaps we could renovate our house? We could install larger aluminum alloy windows and have a large new iron door.” When the cold winter weather comes, the wife says, “I’ve been wearing this cotton jacket for seven or eight years, and it’s getting thinner and thinner. When you get your wages, you can spend a bit less and set aside money for me to buy a winter jacket. A down jacket costs at least three to four hundred, or maybe five to six hundred yuan.” “Fine,” says the husband. “I’ll set some money aside and buy you a good, warm duck down jacket.” The wife says, “You want to buy me one, but you don’t have one either. Buy one for yourself as well.” The husband replies, “If I have enough money, I’ll buy it. If I don’t, I’ll make do with my jacket for another year.” Another husband says to his wife, “I hear there’s a big restaurant opened nearby serving all kinds of seafood. Shall we go?” The wife says, “Let’s go. We have enough money, we can afford it.” They go eat seafood and come home delighted and feeling very happy. The wife thinks, “Look at how cozy my life is now. I married the right guy. I can eat fresh seafood. Our neighbors can’t afford to eat fresh seafood. I have a great life!” Isn’t this married life? (Yes.) Their lives are spent calculating and arguing. They work every day from dawn till dusk, going to work at eight so having to wake up at five in the morning. When the alarm clock sounds, they think, “Oh, I really don’t want to get up, but I’ve got no choice. I have to get up to put food on the table and to live,” and so they struggle to get out of bed. “Luckily I wasn’t late today, so they won’t reduce my bonus.” They finish work and return home, and say, “What a hard day it’s been, so difficult! When will I not have to work?” They have to keep so busy to earn a wage and put food on the table; they have to live like this in order to live well, to maintain the life of two people within the framework of marriage, or so that they can have a stable life. They spend their lives in this way until they get old and reach their advanced years, and the old wife says, “Oh my, look husband, my hair's gone grey! I’ve got crow’s feet around my eyes and jowl lines are appearing. Am I now old? Will you dislike how old I look and go looking for another woman?” Her husband replies, “No way, you silly old dear. I’ve spent my whole life with you and you still don’t know me. Do you really think I’m that kind of man?” His wife is constantly worrying that he won’t like her getting old and she’s afraid that he won’t want her anymore. She nags more and more, her husband speaks less and less, they talk less and less with each other, and they watch their own shows on TV, paying no mind to each other. One day, the wife says, “Husband, we’ve argued a lot in our lives. It’s been so hard living with you all these years. I won’t spend my next life with a man like you. After meals, you never offer to help me tidy up, you just sit there and do nothing. You’ve never remedied this fault of yours all your life. When you change clothes, you never wash your clothes yourself, I always have to wash them and put them away for you. If I died, who would help you then?” Her husband says, “Well, would I be unable to live without you? There are so many young women after me that I can’t get rid of them.” His wife replies, “Such big talk! Look at how slovenly you look. You couldn’t be with anyone but me.” Her husband says, “Be angry if you want, but there are lots of people out there who like me. It’s only you who looks down on me and doesn’t take me seriously.” What kind of marriage do they have? The wife says, “Oh, even though I’ve got nothing to be happy about and no pleasant memories after a lifetime with you, now that I’m old I’ve been thinking: If I don’t have you, I’ll feel like I’m missing something. If you go before me, I’ll be sorrowful and I won’t even have anyone to nag. I don’t want to be alone. I have to go before you so that you have to live life alone with no one to wash your clothes or cook your meals, no one to take care of your daily life, and so that you remember my kindness. Didn’t you say you had a lot of young women after you? When I die you can go and get one straight away.” Her husband says, “Relax, I’ll make sure you go before I do. When you’re gone, I’ll definitely find someone better than you for a partner.” But what does he really think in his heart? “You go first, and when you’re gone, I’ll endure the loneliness. I’d rather I endure this hardship and suffer like this than have you suffer.” The old wife, however, is always complaining about her husband, that he does this wrong and that wrong, has this failing or that failing, and even though her husband doesn’t rectify his failings, they keep on living in this way, and as time goes by she gets used to it. In the end, the woman resigns herself to it, the man endures it, and in this way they live together all their lives. This is married life.

Although there are a lot of things not to one’s liking in marriage, and there is a lot of arguing, and the couple experiences sickness, poverty, financial difficulties in life, and even encounter extremely joyful and sorrowful events, as well as other such events, yet they come through all manner of obstacles together, and their partner is someone they could never leave, someone they could never let go before they close their eyes for the last time. What is a partner? It is a spouse. The man fulfills a lifetime of responsibilities toward the woman, and likewise the woman fulfills a lifetime of responsibilities toward the man; the woman keeps the man company through life, and the man keeps the woman company through life. Neither of them can say clearly which of them accompanies the other more; neither can say clearly who has made more of a contribution, who has made more mistakes, or who has more faults; neither can say clearly which of them is the primary mainstay or the main breadwinner of their life together; neither can say clearly who is the head of the household or who is in charge and who is auxiliary; neither can say clearly which of them is unable to leave the other, whether it is the man who cannot leave the woman, or the woman who cannot leave the man; and neither can say clearly who is right and who is wrong when they argue: This is life, this is the normal life of a man and a woman within the framework of marriage, and it is the most normal and common living situation for human beings. This is how life is, inseparable from all manner of humanity’s faults and biases, and even more so, all manner of humanity’s needs, as well as of course all humanity’s correct or incorrect, rational or irrational choices made under the dominion of one’s conscience and reason. This is life, this is the most normal life. Right and wrong don’t come into it, it is just a comparatively proper and conventional living situation and the actuality of life. Now, what fact does this actuality of life and living situation within the framework of marriage tell people? It is that people should let go of all their various unrealistic fantasies about marriage, let go of all ideas that have nothing to do with the correct definition of marriage and God’s ordination and arrangements. These are all things which people should let go of, as they have nothing to do with the life of normal humanity or the obligations and responsibilities a normal person fulfills in life. Therefore, people should let go of those various definitions of and sayings on marriage which come from society and from wicked mankind, especially that so-called love that has absolutely nothing to do with real married life. Marriage is not a lifelong commitment, nor is it a lifelong solemn pledge of love, much less is it a lifelong fulfillment of vows. Rather, it is the real life of a man and woman in marriage, it is what they need in real life and their expression in real life. Some people say, “If You’re fellowshipping on the topic of marriage and You don’t talk about love, You don’t talk about solemn pledges of love, or love that lasts until the seas dry up and rocks turn to dust, or the vows married couples make to one another, then what are You talking about?” I’m talking about humanity, about responsibility, about doing what a man and woman should do in accordance with the exhortations and instructions of God, about fulfilling the obligations and responsibilities a man and woman should fulfill, about shouldering the obligations and responsibilities a man and woman should shoulder—in this way, your obligations, your responsibilities, or your mission, will be fulfilled. In any case, what is the correct way to practice concerning letting go of various fantasies about marriage that we need to fellowship on? It is that you must not base your thoughts or actions on the various ideas that come from wicked mankind and wicked trends, but rather you must base them on God’s words. However God talks about the issue of marriage, you must base your thoughts and actions on His words. This principle is correct, yes? (Yes.) Have we now pretty much finished fellowshipping on the topic of letting go of various fantasies about marriage? Is it now basically clear to you? (Yes, it’s clear now.)

We just fellowshipped on letting go of various fantasies about marriage, and some people said, “If I don’t want to be single and plan to date someone and find someone to marry, how then should I practice God’s words so that I can let go of my various fantasies about marriage? How should I practice this principle?” Is this not related to the principles regarding choosing a spouse, the principles regarding choosing a partner to marry? What are the principles regarding choosing a spouse instilled in you by the world? A Prince Charming, a fair-skinned beauty, a handsome and wealthy man, a beautiful and wealthy woman, best if they’re the second generation of a wealthy family. By marrying someone like that, you cut 20 years of struggle out of your life. The man must be someone who can afford a diamond ring, a wedding dress, and a glamorous wedding for you. He must be someone who has career ambition, who can make a fortune, or who already has a certain amount of wealth. Are these not the thoughts and views instilled in you by the world? (They are.) Then there are those who say, “My partner has to be someone I love.” Someone else says, “That’s not right. The one you love won’t necessarily love you. Love must be mutual; the one you love must also love you. If he loves you then he’ll never choose to abandon you or give you up. If the one you love doesn’t love you, then one day he’ll just up and abandon you.” Are these views correct? (No.) So then tell Me, what principle should you follow when choosing a spouse that is based on God’s words and that takes the truth as its criterion? Talk about this topic according to the correct thoughts and views you now possess. (If I wanted to find a partner, he must at the very least be someone who believes in God, someone who can pursue the truth, who has the same life pursuits as I do and follows the same path as I follow.) Someone who shares the same aspirations and follows the same path as you do and who believes in God—you mention some specific criteria for choosing a spouse. Who else would like to speak? (We also have to look at whether they’re someone with humanity, and whether they can fulfill their responsibilities and obligations in a marital family. There's something else as well: It’s not the case that someone will definitely find a partner for marriage just because they now want to find one. It is down to God to arrange this, and one must submit and wait.) There is a specific practice and there is also a specific basis of thought and theory. You have to submit and wait, entrust this matter to God and let Him arrange it for you, while at the same time you must also approach this matter with principles. Who else would like to speak? (God, my view is the same as theirs, that is, one has to find someone who shares the same aspirations and follows the same path, someone with humanity and who can take responsibility. One should let go of the wrong views on marriage that Satan instills in them, put their heart into their duty, submit to God’s sovereignty and await God’s arrangements.) If he couldn’t afford a diamond ring for you, would you still marry him? (If he was a man with humanity, then I would accept him even if he couldn’t afford to buy me a diamond ring.) Say he has some money and could afford to buy you a one carat diamond ring, but instead he buys you a 0.3 carat diamond ring—would you be willing to marry him then? (I wouldn’t demand such a thing from him.) It’s okay not to demand such a thing. By saving money, you can then spend it over time, and this is taking a long-term view. Before even finding a partner, you’ve already got a mindset for living well—that’s quite down-to-earth! Who else? (God, I think that first of all, I have to let go of those worldly criteria for choosing a spouse. That is, I mustn’t always be fantasizing about finding a Prince Charming, or a handsome and wealthy man, or someone romantic. Once I’ve let go of these things, I should approach marriage with the correct view, and then submit and await the time of God. Even though someone like this may appear, they must be someone who shares the same aspirations and follows the same path as myself. I mustn’t rely on my worldly views to demand that the man be considerate to me. What’s most important is that he can pursue the truth and be considerate to God’s will.) If he pursues the truth, is considerate to God’s will, goes out to perform his duty so that he’s never at home and you have to bear the burden of family life alone, and the gas tank runs out of gas so you have to carry it upstairs by yourself—then what will you do? (I’ll just carry it myself.) And if you can’t carry it, you can hire someone to help. (Or I could find a brother or sister to help.) Yes, these are all ways of dealing with this situation. So, would you be angry if he was away for a year or two, or for three years or five years? “Isn’t this like living as a widow? What was the point in marrying him? Isn’t it just like before I was married, just living on my own? I have to handle everything on my own. How unfortunate it is that I married him!” Wouldn’t you think like this? (No, I shouldn’t think like this, because he would be performing his duty and working for a just cause. I shouldn’t get in a mood about that.) Those are excellent thoughts, but would you be able to overcome all this in real life? If this man you found was exceptionally upright, usually reserved in speech and manner, not romantic, and he never bought you decent clothes, never gave you flowers, and especially never said “I love you” or any such thing, so that in your heart you had no idea whether he loved you or not, yet he was a really good man who was very considerate to you and looked after you in life, who just didn’t say such things and didn’t do anything romantic, and who wouldn’t even try to coax you or placate you when you got into a mood—wouldn’t you harbor any resentment toward him in your heart? (I would probably feel resentment when I didn’t believe in God and didn’t understand the truth, but after listening to God’s fellowship, I know that it wouldn’t matter whether he said those things and did those romantic things or not. These are the views of worldly people and are not what should be pursued by people with normal humanity. I should let go of these things and then I wouldn’t complain.) You shouldn’t complain, right? (Right.) Right now, you are not in that situation, and you don’t know what you would feel in that circumstance, or how your moods would surge and change. However, right now, in theory, you all know that since you believe in God, you shouldn’t make such unreasonable demands on your partner, nor should you complain against your partner when those things happen, because these are not the things you want. You have these ideas now, but are you able to achieve them? Are they easy to achieve? (We must rebel against our preferences and our worldly views; then it should be relatively easy to let these things go.) I’ll tell you how to handle this matter. Men and women will all face these problems and have these thoughts and moods in married life and will all have these needs. However, the most fundamental point you must understand is that, if the partner you choose is your heart’s desire—setting aside the fact that this was arranged by God—you chose them yourself and are satisfied with everything about them, and in particular, they share the same aspirations and follow the same path as you, they can perform their duty in God’s house, and everything they do is just, then you should take a rational approach and allow them to do that, allow them to ignore your feelings, allow them even to ignore your existence—in theory, this is something you should achieve. Moreover, if such a need or mood arises in you induced by a special situation or a particular event, then you must come before God to pray. Will you be able to let these things go entirely after you pray? No way. People live within their normal humanity after all, they have minds, and their minds will cause all manner of moods to arise in them. We won’t discuss now whether these moods are right or wrong. For now, the most practical problem is that you find these moods difficult to let go. Even if you let them go this one time, they may appear again in some kind of objective situation. So, what should you do? You don’t need to bother with them, because in theory, and in terms of form and rationality, you’ve already given up this pursuit or need. It’s just that, because of their humanity, people of different ages will have these needs and experience these moods to varying degrees and to a greater or lesser extent. You are clear on these real situations and have prayed to God, you let the mood go this time, or else the mood you’re experiencing is not so severe and you don’t take it too seriously. However, you will definitely experience this mood again next time. So what then is your specific practice? It is that you don’t need to pay it any mind or take it seriously, saying, “Oh, this aspect of my disposition still hasn’t changed.” This isn’t any kind of disposition; it is just a temporary mood that has nothing to do with your dispositions. Nor do you need to make a mountain out of a molehill, saying, “Oh, why am I still like this? Don’t I pursue the truth? How come I’m behaving this way? This is terrible!” There’s no need to make a mountain out of a molehill; it is just the expression of a mood belonging to the various emotions of your normal humanity. Pay it no mind. This is an attitude regarding handling moods. Furthermore, as long as it doesn’t affect the order and regularity of your normal life, your spiritual life, or the performance of your duty, then that’s okay. For example, because your husband (or wife) is busy performing their duty, it’s been a long time since you’ve seen each other, and you have no time to talk together. One day you suddenly see a sister with her husband talking together, and a mood arises in your heart, and you think, “See, she can perform her duty together with her husband. They’re so happy and joyful. Why is my husband so unfeeling? Why doesn’t he ask me, ‘How’ve you been lately? Are you well?’ Why isn’t he concerned about me? Why doesn’t he cherish me or love me?” You experience this kind of mood, and after a while you think, “Oh, it’s not good to feel sulky.” You know it’s not good to feel that way but you still feel a little angry and you argue with yourself, saying, “I won’t bother with him, I’ll just wait for him to take the initiative to pay attention to me. If he doesn’t, then I’ll be angry at him. We’ve been married all these years, we haven’t seen each other in all this time and he still doesn’t say he misses me. Does he miss me or not? He doesn’t bother with me, so I won’t bother with him!” You argue with yourself and you live within this mood. Just for a moment, a surge of anger and a mood arise. As long as you can sleep and eat normally, read God’s words, attend gatherings, perform your duty normally, and get along with your brothers and sisters normally, you don’t have to worry about such moods, and you can think whatever you want in your heart. Whatever you think, so long as your sense of reason is normal and you’re performing your duty normally then that’s fine. You don’t need to forcefully suppress it, nor do you need to forcefully pray to God and ask Him to discipline or chasten you or feel like you’re a sinner. There’s no need to make a mountain out of a molehill, as this mood will soon be gone. If you really miss your husband that much, then you can call him and ask how he is, the two of you can open your hearts to each other and talk, and won’t those temporary moods and misunderstandings then be gone? Actually, you don’t need him to do anything. Sometimes you will just have a momentary feeling and will want to hear his voice, or you might feel a temporary loneliness, or feel disgruntled for a short while, or you may feel unhappy, and then you call him and hear him talk. You then see that he’s fine, that he dearly loves you just as he did before and that you’re in his thoughts. It’s just that he’s busy working, or it’s because men can be somewhat neglectful of the finer details and he’s been busy with his duty and doesn’t think that it’s been that long, and that’s why he hasn’t contacted you. Isn’t it a good thing that he’s busy and performing his duty normally? Isn’t this just what you wanted? If he committed evil, causing disturbances and disruptions, and was cleared out, wouldn’t you worry about him? Everything is normal with him now, and everything is just as it was before—isn’t your mind then at ease? What more do you want? Isn’t this how it is? (Yes, it is.) Calling in this way and saying a few words to each other relieves the loneliness in the heart and the feelings of longing, just as the unbelievers say, and isn’t this issue then resolved? Is there any difficulty? Calling your husband and showing concern for each other—tell Me, does God condemn such a thing? (No.) You are husband and wife by law, and calling him, talking, and confiding your longing for each other is all proper, it is normal human feeling, and it is something you should do within the scope of humanity. What’s more, this is included in God’s ordination of marriage for mankind—accompanying each other, comforting each other, and supporting each other. If he doesn’t fulfill these responsibilities, can’t you just help him fulfill them? This is a very simple matter that is very easy to handle. Isn’t this problem solved by practicing in this way? Is it necessary for all manner of moods to sprout up in your heart? No, it isn’t. It’s simple to put this into practice.

Let’s go back to the question I posed just now: “How should people let go of their various fantasies about marriage?” You’ve all said some ideas in response to this question. If people want to let go of their various fantasies about marriage, then they must first have faith and submit to God’s arrangements and ordination. You shouldn’t have any subjective or unrealistic fantasies about marriage, about who your partner is or what kind of person your partner is; you should have an attitude of submission to God, you should submit to God’s arrangements and ordination, and trust that God will prepare someone most suitable for you. Isn’t it necessary to have a submissive attitude? (Yes.) Second, you must let go of those criteria for choosing a partner instilled in you by the wicked trends of society and then establish the correct criteria for choosing a partner, that is, at the very least your partner should be someone who believes in God as you do and who walks the same path as you do—this is from a general perspective. Furthermore, your partner must be able to fulfill the responsibilities of a man or a woman in marriage; they must be able to fulfill the responsibilities of a partner. How can you judge this aspect? You must look at the quality of their humanity, whether they have a sense of responsibility, and whether they have conscience. And how do you judge whether someone has conscience and humanity? If you don’t associate with them then you have no way of knowing what their humanity is like, and even if you do associate with them, if it is only for a short time, you may still be unable to discover what they’re like. So then, how do you judge whether someone has humanity? You look at whether they take responsibility for their duty, for God’s commission, and for the work of God’s house, and you look at whether they can safeguard the interests of God’s house and whether they are faithful to their duty—this is the best way to judge the quality of someone’s humanity. Suppose this person’s character is very upright and, when it comes to the work God’s house delegates to them, they are extremely dedicated, responsible, serious and earnest, very meticulous, not at all careless, and never neglectful, and they pursue the truth, and they listen carefully and conscientiously to everything God says. Once it is clear to them and they understand it, they immediately put it into practice; although such a person may not have high caliber, they are at the very least someone who is not perfunctory toward their duty and the work of the church, and who can earnestly take responsibility. If they are conscientious and responsible toward their duty, then they will certainly wholeheartedly live their life with you and will take responsibility for you until the very end—the character of such a person can withstand tests. Even if you get sick, grow old, grow ugly, or you have faults and deficiencies, this person will always treat you correctly and tolerate you, and they will always do their best to safeguard you and your family and protect you, give you a stable life, so that you live with peace of mind. This is the happiest thing for a man or woman in married life. They won’t necessarily be able to give you a wealthy, luxurious, or romantic life, and they won’t necessarily be able to offer you anything different in terms of affection or any other aspect, but at the very least, they will make you feel at ease and that, with them, your life will be settled, and there will be no danger or feeling of unease. When you look at that person, you’ll be able to see what their life will be like 20 or 30 years from now and even into old age. This kind of person should be your criterion for choosing a partner. Of course, this criterion for choosing a partner is a little high and someone like this is not easy to find amongst modern mankind, right? To judge what someone’s character is like and whether they’ll be able to fulfill their responsibilities in marriage, you must look at their attitude toward their duty—this is one aspect. Another aspect is that you must look at whether they have a God-fearing heart. If they do, then at the very least they will not do anything inhumane or that is immoral or unethical, and so they will certainly treat you well. If they don’t have a God-fearing heart, and they are brazen, willful, or their humanity is vicious, deceitful, and arrogant; if they don’t have God in their heart and consider themselves superior to others; if they handle work, duties, and even God’s commission and any major matter of God’s house recklessly according to their own will, acting wantonly, never being cautious, not seeking principles, and especially when dealing with offerings they recklessly take and misappropriate them, fearing nothing, then you must absolutely not look for someone like that. Without a God-fearing heart, they are capable of anything. Right now, a man like that may be sweet-talking you and pledging his undying love, but when the day comes when he’s not happy, when you aren’t able to satisfy his needs and are no longer his beloved, then he’ll say he doesn’t love you and that he has no feelings for you anymore, and he’ll just up and leave you whenever he wants. Even if you’re not divorced yet, he’ll still go looking for someone else—all this is possible. He can abandon you anytime, anyplace, and he’s capable of anything. Such men are very dangerous and aren’t worth you entrusting your whole life to. If you find a man like this to be your lover, your darling, your chosen partner, then you’ll be in trouble. Even if he’s tall, rich, and handsome, incredibly talented, and he takes good care of you and is considerate of you, and superficially speaking, he particularly makes the grade whether he is your boyfriend or your husband, yet he doesn’t have a God-fearing heart, then this person cannot be your chosen partner. If you are infatuated with him and start dating him and then you get married, then he will be a nightmare and a disaster for you all your life. You say, “I’m not afraid, I pursue the truth.” You’ve fallen into the hands of a devil, and he hates God, defies God, and employs all manner of ways to disturb your belief in God—are you able to overcome this? Your little bit of stature and faith cannot stand his torment, and after a few days you’re so tormented that you beg for mercy and are unable to carry on believing in God. You lose your faith and your mind is filled with this feuding back and forth. It’s like being thrown into a meat grinder and torn to pieces, with no human likeness, entirely mired in it, until finally you are doomed to the same fate as that devil you’re married to, and your life will be over.