How to Pursue the Truth (17) Part Four
The biggest expectations that parents have for their children are, in one respect, hoping that their children can live a good life, and, in another respect, hoping that their children will be by their side and watch over them when they are old. For example, if a parent gets sick or encounters some difficulties in their life, they hope that their children will be able to help dispel their worries and difficulties, and to share this burden. They hope that their children will be by their side when they leave this world, so that they can see them again, one last time. Usually, these are the two biggest expectations that parents have for their children, and it is difficult to let go of them. If a person’s parents become ill or encounter difficulties, and they do not hear news of this, it is possible that these things will be resolved without their intervention. But if they do learn of these matters, they usually find it very hard to overcome them, especially when their parents become seriously and gravely ill. In those times it is even harder for people to let go. When, in the depths of your heart, you feel that your parents are still in the physical, living, or working condition that they were 10 or 20 years ago, that they can take care of themselves, and live as normal, that they are still healthy, young, and robust, and when you are under the impression that they do not need you, you will not harbor such great concern for them in your heart. But when you learn that your parents have entered into old age, that their bodies have become weak, and that they need people to care for them and accompany them, if you are elsewhere, you will probably feel upset, and be impacted by this. Some people even abandon their duties, and want to go home to visit their parents. Some emotional people make even more irrational choices, saying: “If I could, I’d give 10 years of my life to my parents.” There are also some people who are intent on seeking blessings for their parents. They buy all kinds of health products and nutritional supplements for their parents, and when they learn that their parents are seriously ill, they can’t help but become trapped in their feelings, wishing to speed to their parents’ side immediately. Some people say, “I’d even be willing to take this illness from my parents,” not considering what duty they should be performing, and disregarding God’s commission. Therefore, in these circumstances, people are very likely to become weak and fall into temptation. Would you cry if you heard news that your parents had fallen seriously ill? In particular, some people receive letters from home saying that the doctor has already given their final notice. What does “given their final notice” mean? This phrase is easy to interpret. It means that the parents of those people will die in a few days. At such a time, you would think: “My parents are only in their 50s. This shouldn’t be happening. What have they fallen ill with?” And when the reply is “cancer,” you would immediately think: “How did they get it? I’ve been away for all these years, they’ve been missing me, and their lives are so hard—is that why they got this disease?” You would then rush to place all of the blame on yourself: “My parents’ lives are so hard, and I haven’t been helping to share their burdens. They’ve been missing me and worrying about me, and I haven’t stayed by their side. I’ve let them down, and I’ve made them suffer the pain of missing me all the time. My parents spent so much time raising me, and for what? All I’ve done is make them suffer!” The more you’d think about it, the more you’d believe that you’d let them down, and that you were indebted to them. Then you’d think: “No, that’s not right. I’m believing in God, performing the duty of a created being, and completing God’s commission. I haven’t let anybody down.” But then you’d think: “My parents are so old, and they don’t have any children by their side to take care of them. What was the point of them raising me then?” You’d go back and forth, unable to overcome this no matter how you thought about it. Not only would you cry, you would fall deeply into the entanglements of your feelings for your parents. Is it easy to let go, in these circumstances? You would say: “My parents gave birth to me and raised me. They didn’t expect me to become very wealthy, and they’ve never asked anything excessive of me. They just hoped that I’d be by their side when they fell ill and needed me, accompanying them, and lessening their suffering. I haven’t even done that!” You would cry from the day that you heard news that your parents were critically ill until the day that they died. Would you be sad if you encountered this kind of situation? Would you cry? Would you shed tears? (Yes.) At that moment, would your resolve and aspiration waver? Would you have the urge to rashly and recklessly hurry back to your parents’ side? Would you think, deep in your heart, that you were an uncaring ingrate, and that your parents raised you for nothing? Would you keep feeling ashamed to face your parents? Would you keep recalling the kindness that your parents showed you by raising you, and how good they’d been to you? (Yes.) Would you give up your duty? Would you try to do everything to get the most recent news about your parents from friends, or from the brothers and sisters? All people would possess these manifestations, wouldn’t they? Then, is this matter easy to resolve? How should you understand such matters? How should you view the matter of illness or some kind of great misfortune befalling your parents? If you can see through this, you will be able to let go. If you cannot, then you will not be able to let go. You always think that everything your parents have endured and faced is related to you, and that you should share those burdens; you always put the blame onto yourself, always thinking that these things have something to do with you, always wanting to get involved. Is this idea right? (No.) Why? How should you view these things? What manifestations are normal? What manifestations are abnormal, irrational, and not in accordance with the truth? We’ll speak of the normal manifestations first. People are all birthed by their parents; they are of the flesh and possess feelings. Feelings are a part of humanity, and no one can avoid them. Every person has feelings—even small animals have them, not to mention people. But some people’s feelings are a bit stronger, and some people’s feelings are a bit weaker. But no matter what the circumstances are, all people have them. Whether it comes from their feelings, humanity, or rationality, all people would feel upset upon hearing that their parents had fallen ill, encountered some great misfortune, or met with suffering. Every person would feel upset. It is very normal to feel upset, this is a human instinct, it is something that people possess in their humanity and feelings. It is very normal for this to manifest in people. When their parents fall seriously ill or encounter a great misfortune, it is very normal for people to feel sad, to cry, to feel repressed, to think of ways to resolve the problems, and to share the burden with their parents. For some people, this will even affect their bodies—they won’t be able to eat, they’ll feel a knot in their chests, and they’ll be in low spirits all day long. These are all manifestations of emotions, and they are all very normal. People shouldn’t criticize you for these normal manifestations; you shouldn’t try to avoid these manifestations, and you certainly shouldn’t accept anyone else’s criticism of them. If you have these manifestations, it proves that your feelings for your parents are genuine, and that you are a person who possesses the awareness of conscience, and a normal, ordinary person. No one should criticize you for having these emotional outpourings, or for having these emotional needs. These manifestations all fall within the scope of rationality and conscience. So, what manifestations are not normal? Abnormal manifestations are those that go beyond rationality. They are when people become impulsive as soon as these things befall them, and want to immediately abandon everything to return to their parents’ side, who rush to put all of the blame on themselves, and to abandon the ideals, aspirations, and resolve they once had, and even the oaths they swore before God. These manifestations are abnormal, and they go beyond rationality, they are too impulsive! When people choose a path, it is not as if they can choose the correct and right path in a burst of hotheadedness. You choosing to walk the path of performing a duty and choosing to perform the duty of a created being is no simple matter, and it is something that nothing else can replace. It certainly isn’t a choice that can be made in a burst of hotheadedness. Moreover, this is the right path—you should not change your decision to walk the right path in life because of the environments, people, events, and things that surround you. This is the rationality that you ought to possess. Whether it’s your parents or any kind of big change, it should not impact the most important thing, which is you performing the duty of a created being. That is one aspect of this. Another aspect is that, when it comes to how your parents get an illness, when they begin suffering from it, and what kind of consequences it can result in, are these things that you can decide? You may say: “Maybe this has happened because I wasn’t a filial child. If I’d spent these years diligently earning money and working, and I were well-off financially, they could have treated this illness sooner, and it wouldn’t have gotten so bad. This is because I’ve been unfilial.” Is this thought correct? (No.) If a person has money, does it necessarily mean that they will be able to buy good health and avoid falling ill? (No.) Do the rich people in this world never get sick? From the moment that a person feels that they are falling ill, until they become ill, and until they ultimately die, it is all predestined by God. How could any person decide this? How could having or lacking money determine this? How could one’s environment determine this? All of this is determined by God’s sovereignty and arrangements. Therefore, you do not need to overly analyze or investigate the matter of your parents falling seriously ill or meeting with some great misfortune, and you certainly should not put energy into it—doing so will be of no use. People being born, growing old, getting sick, dying, and encountering various great and small matters in life are very normal occurrences. If you are an adult, then you should have a mature way of thinking, and you should approach this matter calmly and correctly: “My parents are ill. Some people say that it’s because they missed me so much, is that possible? They definitely missed me—how could a person not miss their own child? I missed them too, so why didn’t I get sick?” Does any person get sick because they miss their children? That’s not the case. So, what is going on when your parents encounter these significant matters? It can only be said that God has orchestrated this kind of matter in their lives. It has been orchestrated by God’s hand—you cannot focus on objective reasons and causes—your parents were supposed to encounter this matter when they reached this age, they were supposed to be struck with this illness. Could they have avoided it if you had been there? If God had not arranged for them to fall ill as part of their fates, then nothing would have happened to them, even if you hadn’t been with them. If they were destined to encounter this kind of great misfortune in their lives, what effect could you have had if you’d been by their side? They still wouldn’t have been able to avoid it, right? (Right.) Think about those people who don’t believe in God—aren’t their families all together, year after year? When those parents encounter great misfortune, the members of their extended family and their children are all with them, right? When parents fall ill, or when their illnesses worsen, is it because their children left them? That’s not the case, it is fated to happen. It’s just that, as their child, because you have this blood tie with your parents, you will feel upset when you hear that they are sick, while other people won’t feel anything. This is very normal. However, your parents encountering this kind of great misfortune doesn’t mean that you need to analyze and investigate, or ponder on how to get rid of it or resolve it. Your parents are adults; they have encountered this more than a few times in society. If God arranges an environment to rid them of this matter, then, sooner or later, it will vanish completely. If this matter is a life hurdle for them, and they must experience it, then it is up to God how long they must experience it for. It is something that they must experience, and they cannot avoid it. If you wish to single-handedly resolve this matter, to analyze and investigate the source, causes, and consequences of this matter, that is a foolish thought. It is of no use, and it is superfluous. You should not act in this way, analyzing, investigating, and contacting your classmates and friends for help, contacting the hospital for your parents, contacting the best doctors, arranging for the best hospital bed for them—you do not need to rack your brain doing all of these things. If you really do have some excess energy, then you should do a good job at the duty you’re supposed to perform now. Your parents have their own fates. No one can escape the age at which they are supposed to die. Your parents are not the masters of your fate, and in the same way, you are not the master of your parents’ fates. If something is fated to happen to them, what can you do about it? What effect can you being anxious and looking for solutions achieve? It cannot achieve anything; it depends on God’s will. If God wants to take them away, and enable you to perform your duty undisturbed, can you interfere with this? Can you discuss conditions with God? What should you do at this time? Racking your brain coming up with solutions, investigating, analyzing, putting the blame on yourself, and feeling ashamed to face your parents—are these the thoughts and actions that a person ought to have? These are all manifestations of a lack of submission to God and the truth; they are irrational, unwise, and rebellious toward God. People should not have these manifestations. Do you understand? (Yes.)
Some people say: “I know that I shouldn’t analyze or investigate the matter of my parents falling ill or meeting with some great misfortune, that doing so is pointless, and that I should approach this based on the truth principles, but I cannot restrain myself from analyzing and investigating it.” So, let us resolve the problem of restraint, so that you no longer need to restrain yourself. How can this be achieved? In this life, people with healthy bodies begin experiencing symptoms of old age after they reach 50 or 60 years old—their muscles and bones deteriorate, they lose their strength, they can’t sleep well or eat a lot, and they don’t have enough energy to work, read, or do any kind of job. Various kinds of diseases burst forth within them, like high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, cardiovascular diseases, cerebrovascular diseases, and so on. For those who are a bit healthier, though they have these symptoms of old age, they can do whatever they need to do, and these symptoms don’t impact them living and working as normal. This is quite good. For those who are less healthy, these symptoms do impact them working and living as normal, and they sometimes have to go to the hospital to see the doctor. Some of these people get colds or headaches; others get enteritis or diarrhea, and need to rest in bed for two days every time they suffer from a bout of diarrhea. Some people have high blood pressure, and they get so dizzy that they can’t walk, ride in a car, or go far from their homes. There are also some who have urinary incontinence, it’s inconvenient for them to go outside, so they rarely go out and travel with their relatives and friends. There are others who always have allergic reactions when they eat. There are some people who don’t sleep well, and cannot sleep in noisy places; as soon as they move to another place, it’s even harder for them to sleep. All of these things have a severe impact on these people’s lives and work. There are even some people who cannot work for more than three to four consecutive hours. And then there are even more severe cases, where people become terminally ill at 50 or 60 years old, for example, with cancer, diabetes, rheumatic heart disease, dementia, or Parkinson’s disease, and so on. Whether these diseases are caused by the things they ate, or by polluted environments, air, or water, the law of man’s flesh is that, after women reach 45 years old and after men reach 50 years old, their bodies progressively deteriorate. Every day, they say that this part of them is uncomfortable and that part hurts, they go to the doctor to check it, and it’s terminal cancer. Ultimately, the doctor says: “Go home, it can’t be treated.” All people will encounter these fleshly illnesses. Today it’s them, tomorrow it’s you and us. According to age and in sequential order, people will all be born, grow old, fall ill, and die—from youth they enter old age, from old age they fall ill, and from illness they die—this is the law. It is just that when you hear news that your parents have become ill, because they are the people closest to you, who you worry the most about, and who raised you, you will be unable to get past this hurdle of your feelings, and you will think: “I don’t feel anything when other people’s parents die, but my parents can’t get ill, because that would make me sad. I can’t bear it, my heart aches, I can’t get past my feelings!” Just because they are your parents, you think that they shouldn’t grow old, get sick, and that they certainly shouldn’t die—does that make sense? This doesn’t make sense, and it is not a truth. Do you understand? (Yes.) Every person will face their parents aging, getting sick, and in some serious cases people’s parents are even paralyzed in bed, and some fall into vegetative states. Some people’s parents have high blood pressure, partial paralysis, strokes, or they even get a serious illness and die. Every person will personally witness, see, or hear about the process of their parents aging, becoming sick, and then dying. It is just that some people hear of this sooner, when their parents are in their 50s; some people hear this news when their parents are in their 60s; and others only hear it when their parents are 80, 90, or 100 years old. But no matter when you hear this news, as a son or daughter, one day, sooner or later, you will accept this fact. If you are an adult, you should have a mature way of thinking, and the correct attitude toward people being born, growing old, getting sick, and dying, and not be impulsive; you shouldn’t be unable to bear it when you hear news that your parents are sick, or that they have received notice from the hospital that they are critically ill. Being born, growing old, getting sick, and dying are things that every person must accept, on what basis are you unable to bear this? This is the law that God has ordained for man’s birth and death, why do you want to violate it? Why don’t you accept it? What is your intention? You don’t want to let your parents die, you don’t want them to live by the law of being born, growing old, getting sick, and dying that God has established, you want to stop them from getting sick, and from dying—what would that make them? Wouldn’t that make them plastic people? Would they still be people, then? Therefore, you must accept this fact. Before you hear news that your parents are growing old, that they have gotten sick, and died, you should prepare yourself for this in your heart. One day, sooner or later, every person will grow old, they will weaken, and they will die. Since your parents are normal people, why can’t they experience this hurdle? They should experience this hurdle, and you should approach it correctly. Has this matter been resolved? Can you deal with such things rationally now? (Yes.) Then, when your parents become seriously ill or have some great misfortune befall them in the future, how will you approach this? It is also wrong to ignore it, and people will say: “Are you a toad or a snake? How could you be so cold-blooded?” You are a normal person, so you should have a reaction. You should ponder: “My parents have had hard lives, and they’ve contracted this illness at a young age. They haven’t enjoyed any blessings, and they haven’t been diligent in their belief in God. That’s how their lives have been. They’ve understood nothing, they haven’t walked the right path or pursued the truth. They’ve just passed their days. There’s no difference between them and animals—there’s no difference between them and old cows or old horses. Now that they’ve become seriously ill, they’ll just have to fend for themselves, but I hope that God can reduce some of their suffering.” Pray for them in your heart, and that’s enough. What can any person do? If you’re not with your parents, you cannot do anything; even if you are by their side, what can you do? How many people have personally seen their parents going from youth to old age, from old age to contracting various illnesses, from contracting these various illnesses to their medical treatment failing, to them being declared dead, and to them being pushed to the morgue? There is no shortage of them. These children all stay with their parents, but what can they do? They cannot do anything; they can only watch. Not watching this process now will save you some trouble; it is better not to watch it, watching it happen wouldn’t be a good thing for you. Isn’t that the case? (It is.) When it comes to this matter, in one respect you must see through to the fact that people being born, growing old, falling ill, and dying is a law established by God; in another respect, you must see the responsibilities that people ought to fulfill and their fates clearly, must not be irrational, and must not do impulsive or foolish things. Why shouldn’t you do impulsive or foolish things? Because even if you do them, it won’t be of any use, instead it will reveal your foolishness. More seriously, while you are doing foolish things, you are rebelling against God, and God does not like this, He loathes it. You are clear on and understand all of these truths in terms of doctrine, but you still cling to your own path, and do some things in an obstinate and contrived way, so God does not like you, He abhors you. What does He abhor about you? He abhors your stubborn foolishness and your rebelliousness. You think that you possess some human feeling, but God says that you are stubborn and foolish—you are stubborn, foolish, stupid, and intransigent, and you do not accept the truth or submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements. God has clearly told you the essence, source, and specific principles of practice that are contained within this matter, but you still want to use your feelings to handle all of this, so God doesn’t like you. Ultimately, if God does not take your parents’ illness away from them, then they will become seriously ill and die, if that is what’s supposed to happen to them. No person can change this fact. If you wish to change it, this only proves that you want to use your own hands and methods to change God’s sovereignty. This is the greatest rebelliousness, and you are opposing God. If you do not want to oppose God, when you hear that these things have happened to your parents, you should be calm, and find a place where you can be alone to cry, think, and pray, or express your feelings of longing to the brothers and sisters around you. That’s all you need to do. You must not think about changing something, and you certainly must not do foolish things. Do not pray to God, asking Him to take away your parents’ illness, and to allow them to live for a few more years, or to take two years of your own life and give it to them, just because you believe in God, or on the basis that you have forsaken your family and abandoned your career to perform your duty for so many years. Do not do these kinds of things. God will not listen to these kinds of prayers, and He abhors these kinds of thoughts and prayers. Do not upset or anger God. God is most averse to people wishing to manipulate someone’s fate, to change the fact of God’s sovereignty over the fate of a person, or to change some facts that have long been established by God or the trajectories of people’s fates. God loathes this the most.
I have finished fellowshipping on the attitude, thoughts, and understanding that people ought to have regarding the matter of their parents falling ill. In the same way, when it comes to their parents passing away, people should also possess a correct and rational attitude. Some people have been apart from their parents for many years, they haven’t been by their parents’ side or lived with them, and when they hear that their parents have suddenly passed away, it deals a big blow to them, and it all feels incredibly abrupt. Because these people haven’t been with their parents or lived with them for so many years, they always harbor a kind of misconception in their thoughts and notions. What kind of misconception? When you left your parents, they were alive and well. After being away from them for so many years, in your mind, your parents remain the same age, and remain in the same physical and living condition that you remember. This makes a mess of things. Then you believe that your parents will never grow old and that they will live to celebrate a great many birthdays. That is, as soon as their faces are stored in your heart, as soon as their lives, their words, and their deportment leave an impression and an imprint on your mind and on your memory, you think that your parents will be like that forever, that they will not change, grow old, and certainly not die. What does “not die” refer to here? In one respect, it means that their physical bodies will not disappear. In another respect, it means that their faces, their feelings for you, and so on, will not disappear. This is a misconception, and it will cause you a great deal of trouble. Therefore, no matter what age your parents are, whether they die of old age, or because of an illness, or because some incidents happened, it will deal a blow to you, and it will feel very abrupt to you. Because, in your mind, your parents are still alive and well, and then they’re suddenly gone, you will think: “How can they be gone? How could living people just turn to dust? In my heart, I always feel that my parents are still living, that my mom is still cooking in the kitchen, keeping very busy, and that my dad is working outside each day, only coming home in the evening.” These scenes from their lives have left some impressions on your mind. So, because of your feelings, your consciousness harbors something that it shouldn’t, which is the belief that your parents will live forever in your heart. As such, you believe that they shouldn’t die, and no matter in what circumstances your parents pass away, you will feel that it is a huge blow to you, and you won’t be able to accept it. It will take time for you to overcome this fact, right? Your parents getting sick would already be a big shock for you, so your parents passing away would be an even greater shock. Then, before this has happened, how should you resolve the unexpected blow that it will deal to you, so that it will not impact, interfere with, or affect your performance of your duty or the path that you walk? First, let’s look at what exactly death is all about, and what exactly passing away is all about—doesn’t it mean that a person is leaving this world? (Yes.) It means that the life a person possesses, which has a physical presence, is removed from the material world that humans can see, and disappears. That person then goes on to live in another world, in another form. The lives of your parents departing means that the relationship you have with them in this world has dissolved, disappeared, and ended. They are living in another world, in other forms. As for how their lives will go in that other world, whether they will return to this world, meet you again, or have any kind of fleshly relationship or emotional entanglements with you, this is ordained by God, and it has nothing to do with you. In sum, their passing away means that their missions in this world are over, and a full stop has been placed behind them. Their missions in this life and in this world have ended, so your relationship with them has also ended. As for whether they will be reincarnated in the future, or if they will meet with any kind of penalty and restriction, or any kind of handling and arrangements in the other world, does this have anything to do with you? Can you decide this? It has nothing to do with you, you cannot decide this, and you will not be able to obtain any news of this. Your relationship with them in this life comes to an end at that time. That is, the fate that bound you together as you lived alongside one another for 10, 20, 30, or 40 years comes to an end then. After that, they are them, you are you, and no relationship exists between you at all. Even if you all believe in God, they performed their own duties, and you perform yours; when they no longer live in the same spatial environment, there’s no longer any relationship between you. They have simply completed the missions that God entrusted to them already. So, when it comes to the responsibilities they fulfilled for you, those end the day that you begin existing independently from them—you have nothing to do with your parents anymore. If they pass away today, you will just be missing something on an emotional level, and have two less loved ones to yearn for. You will never see them again, and you will never be able to hear any news of them again. What happens to them afterward and their future has nothing to do with you, there will be no blood ties between you, you will not even be the same kind of being anymore. That’s how it is. Your parents passing away will just be the last news that you hear about them in this world, and the last of the hurdles that you see or hear about when it comes to their experiences of being born, growing old, getting sick, and dying in their lives, that is all. Their deaths won’t take anything away or give anything to you, they will have simply died, their journeys as people will have come to an end. So, when it comes to them passing away, it doesn’t matter whether these are accidental deaths, normal deaths, deaths from illness, and so on, in any case, if not for God’s sovereignty and arrangements, no person or force could take away their lives. Their passing away only means the end of their physical lives. If you miss them and yearn for them, or feel ashamed of yourself due to your feelings, you shouldn’t feel any of these things, and it is not necessary to feel them. They have departed from this world, so missing them is redundant, isn’t it? If you think: “Did my parents miss me over all those years? How much more did they suffer because I wasn’t by their side showing filial piety to them for so many years? Over all these years, I’ve always been wishing that I could spend a few days with them, I never expected that they’d pass away so soon. I feel sad and guilty.” It is not necessary for you to think in this way, their deaths have nothing to do with you. Why do they have nothing to do with you? Because, even if you showed them filial piety or accompanied them, this is not the obligation or task that God has given you. God has ordained how much good fortune and how much suffering your parents will encounter from you—this has nothing at all to do with you. They will not live longer because you are with them, and they will not live shorter lives because you’re far from them and couldn’t be with them often. God has ordained how long they will live, and it has nothing to do with you. Therefore, if you hear news that your parents have passed away during your lifetime, you do not need to feel guilty. You should approach this matter in the correct way and accept it. If you already shed a lot of tears while they were seriously ill, you should feel happy and free when they pass away; after you send them off, there is no need to cry. You will have already fulfilled your responsibilities as their child, you will have prayed for them, felt sad for them, and shed countless tears for them, and, of course, you will have thought of many possible solutions to treat their illness, and you will have done your utmost to lessen their suffering. You will have already done everything you can as their child. When they pass away, you could only say: “You’ve had pretty hard lives. As your child, I hope you rest in peace. If you did many things to offend God in this life, then you will have to receive punishment in the next world. If, after you have received your punishment, God gives you the opportunity to be reincarnated as people again in this world, I hope that you’ll do your best to comport yourselves well, and walk the right path. Don’t do any more things to offend God, and strive to not receive any punishment in your next lives.” That is all. Isn’t this well-put? This is all that you can do; whether it is for your parents or for another one of your loved ones, this is all that you can do. Of course, when your parents ultimately pass away, if you cannot be with them or give them some final comfort, it is not necessary for you to feel sad. This is because every person actually leaves this world alone. Even if their children are with them, when a messenger comes to collect them, only they will be able to see it. When they leave, no person will be accompanying them, their children cannot accompany them, and neither can their significant other. When people leave this world, they are always alone. In their final moments, every person needs to face this situation, this process, and this environment. Therefore, if you are by their side, and they are looking right at you, it will still be of no use. When they have to depart, if they want to call your name, they will not be able to, and you will not be able to hear it; if they want to reach out and grab you, they won’t have the strength, and you won’t be able to feel it. They will be alone. This is because every person enters this world alone, and ultimately, they must leave it alone too. This is ordained by God. The existence of such things enables people to see even more clearly that their lives and fates, and them being born, growing old, falling ill, and dying, are all in God’s hands, and that every person’s life is independent. Even though all people have parents, siblings, and loved ones, from God’s perspective, and from the perspective of life, every person’s life is independent, lives are not grouped together, and no life has a partner. From the perspective of created humans, every life is independent, but from the perspective of God, no life that He has created is alone, because God is accompanying each one of them and pulling them forward. It is just that when you are in this world, you are born to your parents, and you think that your parents are the people closest to you, but in fact, when your parents leave this world, you will realize that they are not the people closest to you. When their lives end, you will still be living, their lives ending won’t take away your life, and it certainly won’t impact your life. You’ve been away from them for all these years, and you’re still living a good life. Why is that? Because God is watching over you and guiding you; you are living under His sovereignty. When your parents depart from this world, this will make you even more aware that without your parents accompanying you, caring for you, looking after you, or raising you, over these years you went from growing up, to adulthood, to middle age, to old age, and under the guidance of God, you’ve understood more and more in your life, and your forward direction and path have become increasingly clear. Therefore, people are able to leave their parents. The existence of their parents is only necessary during their childhoods, but after they grow up, the existence of their parents is merely a formality. Their parents are just their emotional sustenance and support, and they are not necessary. Of course, when your parents leave this world, these things will feel increasingly clear to you, and you will feel even more that people’s lives come from God, and that people cannot live without leaning on God, without God as their mental and spiritual sustenance, and the sustenance for their lives. When your parents leave you, you will just miss them on an emotional level, but at the same time, you will be set free emotionally or in other respects. Why will you be set free? When your parents are around, they are both worries and burdens for you. They are people to whom you can be willful, and they make you feel as though you cannot break free from your feelings. When your parents pass away, all of this will be resolved. The people you felt were closest to you will be gone, and you won’t have to worry about them, or yearn for them. When you break through this dependent relationship you have with your parents, when they depart from this world, when you thoroughly feel in the depths of your heart that your parents are already gone, and you feel that you have already transcended your blood ties with your parents, you will truly become mature and independent. Think about it: No matter how old people are, if their parents are still around, whenever they have a problem, they’ll think: “I’ll ask my mom, I’ll ask my dad.” There is always emotional sustenance for them. When people have the emotional sustenance, they feel that their existence in this world is overflowing with warmth and happiness. When you lose that feeling of happiness and that warmth, if you do not feel that you are alone, or that you have lost happiness and warmth, then you are mature, and you are truly independent in terms of your thoughts and feelings. Most of you probably haven’t experienced these things yet. When you do, you will understand. Think about it: No matter how old people are, whether they are 40, 50, or 60 years old, when their parents pass away, they immediately become much more mature. It is like they go from a naive child to a sensible adult in an instant. Overnight they come to understand things, and to be independent. Therefore, for every person, their parents passing away is a great hurdle. If you can handle and approach your relationship with your parents correctly, and at the same time correctly approach, handle, and let go of your parents’ various expectations for you, or the responsibilities that you ought to perform for your parents on an emotional and ethical level, then you will have truly matured, and at the very least, you will be an adult before God. To become an adult like this is not easy, you must suffer some pain in terms of your fleshly feelings, in particular, you must endure some emotional devastation and torment, as well as the pain of things not going well, not going as you hoped, or being unfortunate, and so on. When you have experienced all of this pain, you will gain a bit more insight into these matters. If you link them to the truths that we have fellowshipped on regarding these matters, you will gain a bit more insight into people’s lives and fates, which are ordained by God, as well as the affection that exists between people, in a very thorough way. When you gain insight into these things, it will be easy for you to let go of them. When you can let go of these things and handle them correctly, you will be able to approach them correctly. You will not approach them based on human doctrines or the standards of human conscience; you will approach them in accordance with the truth principles. What does it mean to be in accordance with the truth principles? It means that you can submit to God. If you can submit to God and to His orchestrations, this is a good sign and a good portent. What does it portend? That you have hope for salvation. Therefore, when it comes to the matter of your parents’ expectations, no matter if you’re young, middle-aged, elderly, or in your later years now, and regardless of if you haven’t experienced this, if you’re experiencing it right now, or if you’ve already experienced it, what you need to do is not merely let go of your feelings, or cut ties with your parents and disconnect yourself from them, it is to put effort into the truth, and to seek to understand these aspects of the truth. This is the most important thing. When you understand these different, complex relationships, you can be freed from them, and you will no longer be constrained by them. When you are no longer constrained by them, it will be much easier for you to submit to God’s orchestrations, and you will face fewer obstacles and smaller hindrances in doing so. Then you’ll be less likely to rebel against God, right?
Are you now able to see through and resolve all of these major matters that relate to parents? When you have free time, ponder on the truth. If, in the future, or in the things that you are experiencing now, you can link these matters to the truth, and resolve these problems based on the truth, you’ll face a lot less trouble and fewer difficulties, and you’ll live a very relaxed and joyful life. If you do not approach these things based on the truth, you’ll encounter a lot of trouble, and your life will be very painful. This is the outcome. I’ll finish fellowshipping on the topic of parental expectations here today. Goodbye!
April 29, 2023
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