How to Pursue the Truth (18) Part Four
When their sons and daughters are able to survive independently, what parents ought to do is simply to show them concern and the necessary care when it comes to their work, lives, and families, or to give them some appropriate assistance in situations where they cannot accomplish or take care of something using their own abilities. For example, say that your son or daughter has a baby, and both they and their spouse are very busy with work. The baby is still very little, and sometimes there is no one to take care of it. Under these circumstances, you can help your child to take care of their baby. This is the responsibility of a parent, because they are your flesh and blood after all, and it would be safer for you to take care of their baby than for someone else to do it. If your child trusts you to take care of their baby, then you should take care of it. If they don’t feel at ease entrusting the baby to you and don’t want you to take care of it, or if they won’t let you take care of it because they cherish you, because they are being considerate of you, and they fear that you’re not physically well enough to do it, then you shouldn’t find fault with this. There are even some sons and daughters who simply don’t trust their parents, they think that their parents don’t have the ability to care for a baby, that they only know how to spoil little children, and not how to educate them, and that they are not careful when it comes to the food they eat. If your son or daughter doesn’t trust you, and doesn’t want you to take care of their baby, that’s even better, then you have some more free time. This is called mutual consent: Neither parent nor child interferes with the other, and they show consideration for one another at the same time. When their children need help, solicitude, and to be taken care of, parents just need to provide them with the appropriate and necessary concern, care, and financial support on an emotional level or in other respects. For example, suppose that a parent has some savings, or they are good at their job and have a source of income. When their children need some money, they can help them a little if they are able to. If they are not able to, then it is not necessary for them to give up all of their possessions or to borrow money from a loan shark to help their children. They just need to do whatever is in the scope of their abilities to fulfill the responsibilities they have under the framework of kinship. There is no need for them to sell everything they have, or to sell their kidneys or blood, or to work themselves to death to help their children. Your life belongs to you, it was given to you by God, and you have your own missions. You possess this life so that you can fulfill those missions. Your children also possess their lives so that they can finish their life paths and complete their missions in life, not so that they can show you filial piety. Therefore, no matter whether their children are adults or not, the lives of parents belong only to the parents themselves, they do not belong to their children. Naturally, parents are not their children’s free nannies or slaves. Regardless of what expectations parents have for their children, it is not necessary for them to let their children order them around arbitrarily without any compensation, or for them to become their children’s servants, maids, or slaves. No matter what feelings you have for your children, you are still an independent person. You should not take responsibility for their adult lives as though it were completely right to do so, just because they are your children. There is no need to do this. They are adults; you have already fulfilled your responsibility to raise them. As for whether they’ll live well or badly in the future, whether they’ll be wealthy or poor, and whether they’ll live happy or unhappy lives, that’s their own business. These things have nothing to do with you. You, as a parent, have no obligation to change those things. If their lives are unhappy, you are not obliged to say: “You’re unhappy—I’m going to think of ways to fix this, I’ll sell everything I own, I’ll use up all my life’s energy to make you happy.” It’s not necessary to do this. You just need to fulfill your responsibilities, that’s all. If you want to help them, you can ask them why they’re unhappy, and assist them in making sense of the problem on a theoretical and psychological level. If they accept your help, that’s even better. If they don’t, you just need to fulfill your responsibilities as a parent, and that’s it. If your children want to suffer, then that’s their business. There’s no need for you to worry or to feel upset about this, or to not be able to eat properly or sleep properly. To do so would be excessive. Why would it be excessive? Because they’re adults. They should learn to manage everything they encounter in their lives themselves. If you feel concern for them, that’s just affection; if you don’t feel concern for them, then it doesn’t mean that you’re heartless, or that you haven’t fulfilled your responsibilities. They are adults, and adults must face adult problems and handle everything that adults ought to. They should not rely on their parents in all things. Of course, parents should not place responsibility on themselves for whether things go well with their children’s jobs, careers, families, or marriages after they reach adulthood. You can feel concern about these things, and you can inquire about them, but you do not need to take complete charge of them, chaining your children to your side, taking them with you wherever you go, watching them wherever you go, and thinking about them: “Are they eating well today? Are they happy? Is their work going well? Does their boss appreciate them? Does their spouse love them? Are their children obedient? Do their children get good grades?” What do these things have to do with you? Your children can solve their own problems, you don’t need to get involved. Why do I ask what these things have to do with you? By this, I mean that those things have nothing to do with you. You have fulfilled your responsibilities to your children, you have raised them into adults, so you should back off. Once you do, it won’t mean that you’ll have nothing to do. There are still so many things that you ought to do. When it comes to the missions that you need to complete in this life, aside from raising your children into adults, you also have other missions to complete. Aside from being a parent to your children, you are a created being. You should come before God, and accept your duty from Him. What is your duty? Have you completed it? Have you dedicated yourself to it? Have you embarked on the path to salvation? These are the things that you should think about. As for where your children will go next after becoming adults, how their lives will be, what their circumstances will be like, if they’ll feel happy and cheerful, these things have nothing to do with you. Your children are already independent, both formally and mentally. You should let them be independent, you should let go, and you shouldn’t try to control them. Whether in terms of formality, affection, or fleshly kinship, you have already fulfilled your responsibilities, and there is no longer any relationship between you and your children. There is no relationship between their missions and your missions, and there is no relationship between the life paths that they walk and your expectations. Your expectations for them and your responsibilities toward them have come to an end. Naturally, you shouldn’t have expectations for them. They are them, and you are you. If your children don’t get married, then in terms of your fates and missions, you are completely unconnected and independent individuals. If they do get married and start families, then your families are completely unconnected families. Your children have their living habits and lifestyles, they have their needs regarding their quality of life, and you have your living habits, and your needs regarding your quality of life. You have your path in life and they have their paths in life. You have your missions, and they have their missions. Of course, you have your faith, and they have theirs. If their faith lies in money, prestige, and profit, then you are completely different people. If they have the same faith as you, if they pursue the truth and walk the path of salvation, then you are naturally still completely different individuals. You are you, and they are them. You should not intervene when it comes to the paths that they walk. You can support, help, and provide for them, you can remind and exhort them, but you do not need to interfere or get involved. No one can determine what kind of path another person will walk, what kind of person they will live to be, or what kind of pursuits they will have. Think about it, on what basis am I sitting here, chatting to you and speaking to you about all of these things? On the basis of your willingness to listen. I am speaking because you are willing to listen to My earnest exhortations. If you weren’t willing to listen, or you left, I wouldn’t speak anymore. The number of words I speak depends on whether or not you are willing to listen to them and whether you are willing to spend your time and energy to do so. If you were to say, “I don’t understand what You’re saying, could You go into more detail?” then I’d do My best to go into more detail, to enable you to understand and enter into My words. When I’ve put you onto the right track, brought you before God and the truth, and enabled you to understand the truth and to follow God’s way, My task will be complete. However, when it comes to whether you will be willing to practice My words after you hear them, or what kind of path you will walk, what kind of life you will choose, or what you will pursue, these things are none of My business. If you were to say, “I have a question regarding that aspect of the truth, I want to seek on it,” then I’d patiently answer your question. If you never wished to seek the truth, would I prune you because of that? I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t force you to seek the truth, or mock and make fun of you, and I certainly wouldn’t treat you with a cold attitude. I would act as I had before. If you make a mistake in your duty or deliberately cause a disruption or a disturbance, I have My principles and My methods for handling you. You may, however, say: “I don’t want to hear You speak about these things, and I’m not willing to accept those views of Yours. I’m going to keep performing my duty the way I always have.” Then you must not violate the principles or the administrative decrees. If you do violate the administrative decrees, then I will handle you. But if you do not violate the administrative decrees, and you can behave yourself properly while living the church life, I won’t interfere with you, even if you do not pursue the truth. I won’t interfere when it comes to your personal life, what you want to eat, wear, or which people you want to interact with. I grant you freedom in these regards. Why is that? I’ve spoken clearly to you about all of the principles and content regarding these matters. The rest depends on your own free choices. The path that you choose to walk depends on what kind of person you are, this is obvious. If you are not a person that loves the truth, who could force you to love it? Ultimately, every person will take responsibility for the path that they walk, and the results that they come to bear. I do not need to take responsibility for this. If you pursue the truth, you do so voluntarily. If you don’t pursue the truth, you also do so voluntarily—no one is holding you back. If you do pursue the truth, no one will be encouraging you and you will not be given special grace or material blessings. I am just performing and fulfilling My responsibilities, telling you all the truths that you should understand and need to enter into. As for how you live your lives in private, I’ve never inquired about this, or snooped into it. This is the attitude that I possess. Parents should also act like this toward their children. Adults have the ability to tell right from wrong. It is their business whether they choose right or wrong, whether they choose black or white, whether they choose positive things or negative things—this depends on their inner needs. If a person’s essence is evil, they won’t choose positive things. If a person strives to be good, and they possess humanity, the awareness of conscience, and a sense of shame, they will choose positive things; even if they are a bit slow to do so, eventually they will embark on the right path. This is inevitable. Therefore, parents should have this kind of attitude toward their children, and not interfere with their children’s choices. The requirements that some parents have for their children are: “Our children ought to embark on the right path, they should believe in God, abandon the secular world, and give up their jobs. Otherwise, when we enter the kingdom, they won’t be able to get in, and we’ll be separated from them. It would be so wonderful if our whole family could enter the kingdom together! We could be together in heaven, as we are here on earth. While we’re in the kingdom, we mustn’t leave one another, we must stay together throughout the ages!” Then, it turns out that their children do not believe in God, and that they instead pursue worldly things, and strive to earn a lot of money and to become very wealthy; they wear whatever is fashionable, they do and talk about whatever is trendy, and they do not fulfill their parents’ wishes. As a result, these parents feel upset, they pray and fast because of this, fasting for a week, 10 days, or a fortnight, and put in a lot of effort for the sake of their children in this matter. They are often so hungry that they feel dizzy, and they often pray before God while weeping. But, no matter how they pray, or how much effort they put in, their children are unmoved, and do not know to wake up. The more their children refuse to believe, the more these parents think: “Oh no, I’ve failed my children, I’ve let them down. I haven’t been able to spread the gospel to them, and I haven’t brought them with me onto the path of salvation. Those fools—it’s the path to salvation!” They are not fools; they just do not have this need. It is these parents who are fools, for trying to force their children onto this path, isn’t it? If their children had this need, would it be necessary for these parents to speak about these things? Their children would come to believe by themselves. These parents always think: “I’ve let my children down. I encouraged them to go to college from a young age, and since they went to college, they haven’t turned back. They won’t stop pursuing worldly things, and whenever they come back, they just talk about work, making money, about who got a promotion or bought a car, who married rich, who went to Europe to do advanced studies or to be an exchange student, and say how great other people’s lives are going. Whenever they come home, they talk about those things, and I don’t want to hear them, but there’s nothing I can do about it. No matter what I say to try and get them to believe in God, they still won’t listen.” Consequently, they fall out with their children. Whenever they see their children, their faces darken; whenever they talk to their children, their expressions sour. Some children don’t know what to do, and they think: “I don’t know what’s wrong with my parents. If I don’t believe in God, then I just don’t believe in Him. Why do they always treat me with this attitude? I thought that the more someone believes in God, the better person they’d become. How can believers in God have so little affection for their families?” These parents are so worried about their children that they’re about to burst a blood vessel, and they say: “They’re not my children! I’m cutting off ties with them, I’m disowning them!” They say that, but that’s not really how they feel. Aren’t parents like this foolish? (Yes.) They always want to control and take hold of everything, they always wish to take hold of their children’s futures, their faith, and the paths that they walk. This is so foolish! It’s not appropriate. In particular, there are some children who pursue worldly things, who are promoted to managerial positions and make a lot of money. They bring huge piles of ginseng, gold earrings, and gold necklaces home to their parents as gifts, and their parents say: “I don’t want these things, I just hope that you’ll be healthy, and follow me in believing in God. Believing in God is such a wonderful thing!” And their children say: “Don’t you start with that. I’ve been promoted, and you haven’t even done anything to congratulate me. When other people’s parents hear that their children have been promoted, they break out the champagne, they go out for big meals, but when I buy you necklaces and earrings, you’re not happy. In what way have I let you down? You’re just sulking because I don’t believe in God.” Is it right for these parents to sulk like this? People have different pursuits, they walk different paths, and they choose these paths themselves. Parents should approach this matter correctly. If your children do not acknowledge God’s existence, you should not demand that they believe in God—forcing things never works. If they do not want to believe in God, and they are not that kind of person, then the more you mention it, the more they will annoy you, and you will annoy them too—you will both feel annoyed. But you both feeling annoyed is not what’s important—what’s most important is that God will loathe you, and He will say that your affections are too strong. Since you are able to pay such great prices just because your children don’t believe in God, and you are so upset about them pursuing worldly things, if God were to take them away one day, what would you do then? Would you complain about God? If, in your heart, your children are everything to you, if they are your future, your hope, and your life, then are you still someone who believes in God? Won’t God loathe you acting like this? The way you’re acting is too unwise, incompatible with the principles, and God will not be satisfied with it. Therefore, if you are wise, you will not do these kinds of things. If your children don’t believe, then you should let this go. You’ve made all of the arguments that you ought to, and you’ve said what you’re supposed to say, so let them make their own choices. Keep maintaining the relationship you had with your children before. If they wish to show you filial piety, if they want to cherish and care for you, you do not need to reject this. If they want to take you on a trip to Europe, but it hinders the performance of your duty, and you don’t want to go, then don’t go. But if you do want to go, and you have the time, then go. There’s nothing wrong with expanding your horizons. Your hands will not be dirtied by this, and God will not condemn it. If your children buy some nice things for you, some nice food or clothes, and you think that it’s appropriate for a saint to wear or use them, then enjoy them, and consider them grace from God. If you despise those things, if you do not enjoy them, if you think that they are troublesome and disgusting, and if you are not willing to enjoy them, you can refuse them, saying: “I’m just happy to see you, you don’t need to bring me gifts or spend money on me, I don’t need those things. I just want you to be safe and happy.” Isn’t that wonderful? If you say these words, and you believe these things in your heart, if you really don’t require your children to provide you with any material comforts, or to help you to bask in their light, then your children will admire you, won’t they? As for any difficulties they face in their work or lives, do your best to help them whenever you can. If helping them would impact your performance of your duty, you can refuse—that is your right. Because you no longer owe them anything, because you no longer have any responsibilities toward them, and they are already independent adults, they can manage their own lives. You do not need to serve them unconditionally or at all times. If they ask for your help, and you are not willing to assist them, or if doing so will hinder your performance of your duty, you can say no. That is your right. Though you have a blood tie to them, and you are their parent, this is only a relationship of formality, blood, and affection—in terms of your responsibilities, you have already been freed from the relationship with them. So, if parents are wise, they won’t have any expectations, requirements, or standards for their children after they reach adulthood, and they will not require that their children act in a certain way or that they do certain things from the perspective or position of a parent, because their children are already independent. When your children are independent it means that you’ve fulfilled all your responsibilities to them. So, no matter what you do for your children when the circumstances permit, whether you show them solicitude or care, it is merely affection, and it is superfluous. Or if your children ask you to do something, that is also superfluous, it is not something you are duty-bound to do. You should understand this. Are these things clear? (Yes.)
Suppose that one of you were to say: “I can never let go of my children. They were born with weak constitutions, and they’re innately cowardly and timid. They also don’t have very good caliber and they’re always bullied by other people. I can’t let go of them.” You not being able to let go of your children does not mean that you haven’t finished fulfilling your responsibilities toward them, it is merely an effect of your feelings. You may say: “I’m always worried and thinking about whether my children have been eating well, or if they’re having any stomach problems. If they don’t eat meals at the proper times and keep ordering takeout food on a long-term basis, will they develop stomach problems? Will they get some kind of illness? And if they’re sick, will there be anyone to take care of them, to show them love? Do their spouses show concern for them and take care of them?” Your worries simply arise from your feelings and the blood tie that you have with your children, but these are not your responsibilities. The responsibilities that God has imparted upon parents are just the responsibilities of raising and caring for their children before they reach adulthood. After their children become adults, parents no longer have any responsibilities toward them. This is looking at the responsibilities that parents should fulfill from the perspective of God’s ordination. Do you understand this? (Yes.) No matter how strong your feelings are, or when your parental instincts kick in, this is not fulfilling your responsibilities, it is merely the effect of your feelings. The effects of your feelings do not derive from the reason of humanity, or the principles that God has taught man, or man’s submission to the truth, and they certainly do not derive from man’s responsibilities, instead, they come from man’s feelings—they are called feelings. There is just a little bit of parental love and kinship mixed in with this. Because they are your children, you worry about them constantly, wondering whether they are suffering out there, and whether they are being bullied. You wonder whether their work is going well, and whether they are eating their meals at the proper times. You wonder whether they have contracted an illness, and whether they will be able to afford their medical bills if they do get sick. You often think about these things, and they have nothing at all to do with your responsibilities as a parent. If you cannot let go of these concerns, it can only be said that you are living amid your feelings, and unable to extricate yourself from them. You just live amid your feelings, approaching your children according to your feelings, rather than living by the definition of parental responsibilities given by God. You are not living according to God’s words, you are just feeling, viewing, and handling all of these things according to your feelings. This means that you are not following God’s way. This is obvious. Your parental responsibilities—as taught to you by God—ended the moment that your children reached adulthood. Isn’t the method of practice that God taught you easy and simple? (It is.) If you practice according to God’s words, you will not be engaging in pointless exercises, and you will be giving your children a certain amount of freedom, and a chance to develop themselves, without causing them any extra trouble or bother, or placing any extra burdens on them. And, since they are adults, doing so will allow them to face the world, their lives, and the various problems that they encounter in their daily lives and existences, with the perspective of an adult, an adult’s independent methods for handling things and viewing things, and an adult’s independent worldview. These are the freedoms and rights of your children, and even more so, they are the things that they should do as adults, and these things have nothing to do with you. If you always want to get involved with these things, then that’s quite nauseating. If you always want to willfully insert yourself into these things and to interfere with them, then you will have cause a disturbance and destruction, and ultimately, not only will things turn out contrary to your wishes, even more so, you will make your children feel averse toward you, and your life will be quite tiring too. In the end, you will be full of grievances, and complain that your children are not filial, obedient, or considerate of you; you will complain that they are ungrateful, unappreciative, and uncaring ingrates. There are some rude and irrational parents who will also cry, make a fuss, and threaten to kill themselves, using any tricks that they can. This is even more disgusting, isn’t it? (Yes.) If you are wise, you will allow things to take their natural course, living your life in a relaxed manner, and just fulfill your parental responsibilities. If you say that you want to care for your children and show them some concern for the sake of affection, then showing them the necessary concern is permissible. I am not saying that parents should just cut ties with their children as soon as the children become adults and the parents have fulfilled their responsibilities. Parents shouldn’t completely neglect their adult children, they should not tell them to just go off by themselves, or ignore them no matter how great difficulties they face—even when those difficulties drive their children to the brink of death—or refuse to offer their children a hand when they need their parents. This is also wrong—this is extreme. When your children need to confide in you, you should lend them an ear, and after listening, you should ask them what they’re thinking and what they intend to do. You can also give your own suggestions. If they have their own thoughts and plans, and they don’t accept your suggestions, just say: “Alright. Since you’ve already made up your mind, whatever consequences come of this in the future will be yours alone to bear. This is your life. You have to walk and finish your own life path. No one else can take responsibility for your life. If you’ve made up your mind, then I’ll support you. If you need money, I can give you a bit. If you need me to help you, I can help you within the scope of my abilities. I’m your parent after all, so nothing more needs to be said. But if you say that you do not need my help or my money, and you just need me to lend you an ear, then that’s even easier.” Then you will have said what you had to say, they will have said what they had to say; all of their grievances will have been poured out, all of their anger will have been vented. They will wipe away their tears, they will go and do what they need to do, and you will have fulfilled your responsibilities as a parent. This is done for the sake of affection; this is called affection. And why is that? Because, as a parent, you do not have any malicious intentions toward your children. You will not harm them, plot against them, or mock them, and you certainly will not make fun of them for being weak and incompetent. Your children can cry, vent, and complain in front of you without restraint, as though they were little kids; they can be spoiled, sulky, or willful. However, after they are done venting their emotions and being sulky and willful, they must do what they ought to do, and handle whatever things lie before them. If they can achieve that without you doing anything for them or giving them any help, that’s quite good, and you will have some more free time then, right? And since your children have said those things, you ought to have some self-awareness. Your children have grown up, they are independent. They just wanted to talk to you about that matter, they did not ask for your help. If you don’t have sense, you might think: “This is a significant matter. You telling me about it shows that you respect me, so shouldn’t I give you some counsel about it? Shouldn’t I help you to make a decision?” This is called overestimating your own capabilities. Your children were simply talking to you about that matter, but you’re really treating yourself like an important figure. This isn’t appropriate. Your children told you about that matter because you’re their parent, and they respect and trust you. In reality, they’ve had their own ideas about it for some time, but now you keep wanting to intervene in it. That’s not appropriate. Your children trust you, and you must be worthy of that trust. You should respect their decision, and not get involved in the matter or interfere with it. If they want you to get involved, you can do so. And suppose that, when you do get involved, you realize: “Oh, this is so much trouble! This will impact my performance of my duty. I really can’t get involved in this; as a believer in God, I can’t do these things.” Then you should hurry to disengage from that matter. Say that they still want you to intervene, and you think: “I’m not going to intervene. You should handle this yourself. It was kind enough of me to listen to you vent this grievance and all this garbage. I’ve already fulfilled my parental responsibilities. I absolutely cannot intervene in this matter. That’s the fire pit, and I’m not going to jump into it. If you want to, go ahead and jump in yourself.” Isn’t this appropriate? This is called having a stance. You should never let go of the principles or your stance. These are the things that parents ought to do. Have you understood this? Are these things easy to accomplish? (Yes.) They are, in fact, easy to accomplish, but if you always act according to your feelings, and if you’re always trapped amid your feelings, it will be very difficult for you to achieve those things. You will feel that it is very heart-wrenching to do so, that you cannot abandon this matter, and that you cannot shoulder it either, or move forward or backward. What word can be used to describe this? “Stuck.” You will get stuck there. You wish to listen to God’s words and practice the truth, but you cannot let go of your feelings; you love your children dearly, but feel that it is not appropriate to do so, that it goes against God’s teachings and God’s words—you’re in trouble. You must make a choice. You can either let go of your expectations for your offspring, and no longer try to manage your children, letting them fly free instead, because they are independent adults, or you can follow them. You must choose one of those two options. If you choose to follow the way of God and to listen to God’s words, and you let go of your worries and feelings for your children, then you should do what a parent ought to, hold firm to your stance and your principles, and refrain from doing things that God finds loathsome and disgusting. Can you do this? (Yes.) In reality, it is easy to do these things. As soon as you let go of the bit of affection you harbor, you can accomplish these things. The simplest method is to not get involved with your children’s lives and to just let them do what they want to do. If they want to talk to you about their difficulties, listen to them. It’s enough for you to just know that’s how things are. After they finish speaking, tell them: “I hear you. Is there anything else you want to tell me? If you want something to eat, I can cook for you. If you don’t, then you can head home. If you need money, I can give you a little. If you need some help, I’ll do what I can. If I can’t help, you’ll have to find a solution yourself.” If they insist that you help them, you can say: “We’ve already fulfilled our responsibilities to you. We only have these abilities, you can see that—we’re not as skilled as you are. If you want to seek success in the world, that’s your own business, don’t try to get us involved in it. We’re already quite old, and that time has already passed for us. Our parental responsibility was just to raise you into an adult. As for what kind of path you take, and how you torment yourself, leave us out of these matters. We’re not going to torment ourselves along with you. We have already completed our mission with respect to you. We have our own matters, our own ways of living, and our own missions. Our missions are not about doing things for you, and we do not need your help to complete them. We will complete our missions by ourselves. Don’t ask us to get involved with your daily life or your existence. Those have nothing to do with us.” Express yourself clearly, and that will be the end of the matter; you can then get in touch, communicate, and catch up with them as needed. It’s just that simple! What are the benefits of acting in this way? (It makes life very easy.) At the very least, you will have handled the matter of fleshly, familial love appropriately and properly. Your mental and spiritual worlds will be at ease, you won’t be making any needless sacrifices, or paying any extra prices; you will be submitting amid God’s orchestrations and arrangements, and letting Him handle all of these things. You will be fulfilling every one of the responsibilities that people ought to, and you will not be doing any of the things that people must not do. You will not be stretching out a hand to get involved in things that people must not do, and you will be living as God tells you to. The way that God tells people to live is the best path, it can enable them to live very relaxed, happy, joyous, and peaceful lives. But, most importantly, not only will living in this way leave you with more free time and energy to perform your duty well, and to show devotion to your duty, you will also have more energy and time to put in effort with regard to the truth. By contrast, if your energy and time are entangled with and occupied by your feelings, your flesh, your children, and your love for your family, then you won’t have any extra energy to pursue the truth. Isn’t that true? (It is.)
When people engage in careers in the world, all they think about is pursuing things like worldly trends, prestige and profit, and fleshly enjoyment. What’s the implication of this? It is that your energy, time, and youth are all occupied and consumed by these things. Are they meaningful? What will you gain from them in the end? Even if you gain prestige and profit, it will still be hollow. What about if you change your way of living? If your time, energy, and mind are only occupied by the truth and the principles, and if you only think about positive things, like how to perform your duty well, and how to come before God, and if you expend your energy and time for these positive things, then what you gain will be different. What you gain will be the most substantive benefits. You will know how to live, how to comport yourself, how to face every kind of person, event, and thing. Once you know how to face every kind of person, event, and thing, to a large extent this will enable you to naturally submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements. When you can naturally submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, then without even realizing it, you will become the kind of person that God accepts and loves. Think about it, isn’t that a good thing? Perhaps you do not know this yet, but in the process of you living your life, and of you accepting God’s words and the truth principles, you will imperceptibly come to live, to view people and things, and to comport yourself and act according to God’s words. This means that you will unconsciously submit to God’s words, submit to His requirements and satisfy them. Then you will have already become the kind of person that God accepts, trusts, and loves, without you even knowing it. Isn’t that great? (It is.) Therefore, if you expend your energy and time to pursue the truth and to perform your duty well, what you gain in the end will be the most valuable things. Conversely, if you are always living for the sake of your feelings, the flesh, your children, your work, and prestige and profit, if you are always entangled in these things, what will you gain in the end? Just a void. You won’t gain anything at all, and you will stray further and further from God, and eventually be thoroughly spurned by God. Then, your life will be over, and you will have lost your chance at salvation. Therefore, parents should let go of all their emotional worries, attachments, and entanglements regarding their adult children, regardless of what expectations they have for them. They shouldn’t place any expectations on their children on an emotional level from the status or position of a parent. If you are able to accomplish these things, that’s wonderful! At the very least, you will have fulfilled your parental responsibilities, and you will be an adequate person—who just so happens to be a parent—in the eyes of God. No matter what human perspective you view this from, there are principles for what people ought to do and the perspective and stance that they ought to adopt, and God has standards regarding these things, isn’t that right? (Yes.) Let’s conclude our fellowship here on the expectations that parents have for their offspring and the principles that they ought to practice when their children reach adulthood. Goodbye!
May 21, 2023
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