3. Verbal Spats

In the church, there is also another kind of person—this kind of person particularly likes to justify themselves. For instance, if they did or said something wrong, they fear that others may have a bad opinion of them, and that this will affect their image in the eyes of the majority, so they justify themselves and explain the matter during gatherings. Their purpose in explaining it is to prevent people from forming a bad opinion about them, so they put a lot of effort and thought into this, pondering all day: “How can I clarify this matter? How can I explain it clearly to that person? How can I refute the bad opinions they have formed about me? Today’s gathering is a good opportunity to talk about this matter.” At the gathering, they say, “The thing I did last time was not meant to hurt or expose anyone; my intention was good, it was to help people. Yet, some people always misunderstand me, always want to target me, and always think I am greedy and ambitious, and that my humanity is bad. But actually I’m not like that at all, am I? I haven’t done or said those kinds of things. When I spoke about someone when they weren’t present, it’s not like I was intentionally making trouble for them. When people have done bad things, how can they not allow other people to talk about it?” They say a lot, both justifying and defending themselves, while also exposing quite a few of the other party’s issues, all to dissociate themselves from the matter, to make everyone believe that what they revealed was not a corrupt disposition, and that they do not have bad humanity or a dislike of the truth, and much less malicious intent, and think that they are instead well-intentioned, that their good intentions are often misunderstood, and that they are often condemned because of others’ misunderstandings. Both explicitly and implicitly, their words make the listeners feel that they are innocent, and that the people who thought they were wrong and bad are the evil ones and those who do not love the truth. After hearing this, the other party understands: “Isn’t the point of your words to say that you do not have a corrupt disposition? Isn’t it just to make yourself look good? Isn’t this just not knowing yourself, not accepting the truth, not accepting the facts? If you don’t accept these things, fine, but why target me? I didn’t intend to target you, nor did I want to strike at you. You can think whatever you want to think; what does it have to do with me?” And so they can’t hold themselves back, and say, “When some people encounter a minor issue, suffering a bit of unfair treatment or pain, they become unwilling to accept it, and want to justify and explain themselves; they always try to dissociate themselves from the issue, they always want to make themselves look good, to gold-plate their image. They are not that kind of person, so why do they try to make themselves look good, to make themselves out to be perfect? Besides, I fellowship the truth, I don’t target anyone, nor do I think of striking at or taking revenge on anyone. Let people think what they will!” Are these two people fellowshipping the truth? (No.) So, what are they doing? One party says, “I did those things for the church’s work. I don’t care what you think.” The other one says, “When man acts, Heaven is watching. God knows people’s thoughts. Don’t think just because you have some goodwill, ability, and eloquence, and you don’t do bad things that God will not scrutinize you; don’t think that if you hide your thoughts deep that God cannot see them. The brothers and sisters can all see them—let alone God! Do you not know that God scrutinizes the depths of people’s hearts?” What are the two of them arguing about? One side is making great efforts to justify themselves, to exonerate themselves, not wanting others to have a bad impression of them, while the other side insists on not letting it go, not allowing that person to make themselves look good, and at the same time aims to expose and condemn them through reprimands. On the surface, these two are not directly cursing at each other or directly exposing each other, but their speech is purposeful: One side tries to prevent the other person from misunderstanding them, and demands that they clear their name, while the other side refuses to do so, and instead insists on labeling and condemning them, demanding the other’s acknowledgment. Is this conversation a normal fellowshipping of the truth? (No.) Is it a conversation based on conscience and reason? (No.) Then what is the nature of this kind of conversation? Is this kind of conversation engaging in mutual attacks? (Yes.) Is the one justifying themselves fellowshipping about how they can accept things from God, know themselves, and find the principles that should be practiced? No, they are justifying themselves to other people. They want to clarify their thoughts, viewpoints, intentions, and purpose to others, to explain themselves to the other party, and to have the other party clear their name. Furthermore, they want to deny the other party’s exposure and condemnation of them, and no matter if what the other party says aligns with the facts or the truth, as long as they do not recognize it, or are unwilling to accept it, then they consider what the other party says to be wrong, and they want to rectify it. Whereas the other party does not wish to clear their name but instead exposes them, forcing them to accept their condemnation. One is unwilling to accept, and the other insists on making them accept, leading to attacks between them. The nature of this kind of dialogue is that of engaging in mutual attacks. So, what is the nature of this kind of attack? Is this conversation characterized by mutual denial, mutual complaints, and mutual condemnation? (Yes.) Does this form of dialogue also occur in church life? (Yes.) These kinds of conversations are all verbal spats.

Why are these kinds of dialogues called verbal spats? (It’s because the people involved are arguing about right and wrong, no one is trying to know themselves, and no one gains anything; they just persistently dwell on the matter, and the dialogues are meaningless.) They’re just talking a lot and wasting a lot of breath arguing over who is correct or incorrect, who is superior or inferior. They argue nonstop without there ever being a winner, and then they continue to argue. What do they ultimately gain from this? Is it an understanding of the truth, an understanding of God’s intentions? Is it an ability to repent and accept God’s scrutiny? Is it an ability to accept things from God and know themselves more? They don’t gain any of these things. These meaningless disputes and these dialogues about right and wrong are verbal spats. To put it plainly, verbal spats are utterly meaningless conversations, where everything said is nonsense, not a single word is edifying or beneficial to others, but rather, the words spoken are all hurtful, and originate from human will, hotheadedness, people’s minds, and of course, even more so from people’s corrupt dispositions. Every word spoken is for the sake of one’s own interests, one’s own image and reputation, not for the edification or assistance of others, not for one’s own understanding of some aspect of the truth or for understanding God’s intentions, and of course not for discussing which of one’s corrupt dispositions are exposed in God’s words, whether their corrupt dispositions match up with God’s words, or whether one’s understanding is correct. No matter how pleasing, sincere, or devout these meaningless self-justifications and explanations sound, they are all verbal spats and mutual attacks and judgments, which benefit neither others nor oneself. They not only harm others and affect one’s normal interpersonal relationships, they also hinder one’s own life growth. In short, regardless of the excuses, intentions, attitudes, tones used, or the means and techniques employed, as long as arbitrarily judging and condemning others is involved, then these words, methods, and so on all fall within the category of attacking others, they are all verbal spats. Is this scope broad? (It’s quite broad.) So, when you encounter people’s attacks, judgments, and condemnations, can you refrain from engaging in behaviors of attacking and condemning others? How should you practice when you encounter these kinds of situations? (We must come to be quiet before God through prayer; then there will no longer be hatred in our hearts.) As long as a person is understanding and reasonable, as long as they can quiet themselves before God and pray to Him, and accept the truth, they can control their intentions and desires, and then they can reach a point where they neither judge nor attack others. So long as someone’s intention and purpose is not to vent personal spite or seek revenge, and certainly not to attack the other party, and instead they hurt the other party unintentionally because they do not understand the truth or understand it too superficially, and because they are somewhat foolish and ignorant or willful, then through help, support, and fellowship from others, after understanding the truth, their speech will become more accurate, as will their evaluations and views of others, and they will be able to treat the corrupt dispositions that other people reveal and their incorrect actions correctly, thereby gradually reducing their attacks and judgments on others. However, if one always lives within their corrupt dispositions, seeking opportunities to get revenge against anyone that they find displeasing or who has offended or harmed them before, always harbors such intentions, and does not seek the truth or pray to or rely on God at all, then they are capable of attacking others at any time and in any place, and this is difficult to resolve. Unintentionally attacking others is easy to resolve, but deliberately and intentionally attacking is not. If a person occasionally and unintentionally attacks and judges others, through other people fellowshipping the truth to support and help them, they will be able to reverse their course once they understand the truth. However, if someone constantly seeks to take revenge and vent personal spite, always wants to torment or bring others down, and they attack others with such intentions, which can be felt and seen by all people, then such behavior becomes a disruption and disturbance to church life; it entirely constitutes a deliberate disruption and disturbance. Therefore, having this disposition of attacking others is difficult to change.

Now, do you understand how the issue of attacking and condemning others should be resolved? There is only one way—one must pray to and rely on God, and then their hatred will gradually disappear. There are mainly two types of people who can attack others. One type is those who speak without thinking, who are outspoken and blunt, and who may say some hurtful things whenever they find people displeasing. Most of the time, however, they don’t attack people intentionally or deliberately—they just can’t restrain themselves, this is just their disposition, and they inadvertently form attacks against other people. If they are pruned, they can accept it, and so these are not evil people, and they are not targets for being cleansed away. But evil people do not accept being pruned, and they often cause disruptions and disturbances to church life, they frequently attack, judge, strike at, and retaliate against others, and do not accept the truth in the slightest. They are evil people, and they are the ones the church needs to address and cleanse away. Why do they need to be addressed and cleansed away? Judging from their nature essence, their behavior of attacking others is not unintentional, but deliberate. This is because these people have malicious humanity—no one can offend them or criticize them, and if someone says something that accidentally hurts them a bit, they will think about finding opportunities for revenge—and so, such people are capable of forming attacks against others. This is one type of person that the church needs to address and cleanse away. Anyone who engages in mutual attacks and verbal spats—no matter which party they are, whether they are actively or passively attacking—as long as they partake in these kinds of attacks, they are an evil person with sinister intentions, who will torment others at the slightest displeasure. Such people cause serious disruptions and disturbances to church life. They are a type of evil person within the church. Less serious cases can be dealt with by isolating the person in question for reflection; in more serious cases, the person in question must be cleared out or expelled. This is the principle that leaders and workers need to understand when it comes to handling this matter.

Through this fellowship, do you now understand what it means to attack others? Can you discern it? After I define what an attack is, some people think, “With such a broad definition of attacking others, who would dare to speak in the future? None of us humans understand the truth, so just opening our mouths will result in us attacking others, which is terrible! In the future, we should just eat food and drink water and be silent, sealing our mouths and not speaking carelessly from the moment we wake up in the morning to avoid attacking others. That would be great, and our days would be much more peaceful.” Is this way of thinking correct? Sealing one’s mouth does not solve the problem; the essence of the issue of attacking others is a problem with one’s heart, it is caused by one’s corrupt dispositions, and it is not a problem with one’s mouth. What people say with their mouths is governed by their corrupt dispositions and their thoughts. If a person’s corrupt dispositions are resolved, and they really understand some truths, and their speech also becomes somewhat principled and measured, then the issue of them attacking others will be partly resolved. Of course, within church life, for people to have normal interpersonal relationships, and not engage in mutual attacks or verbal spats, it is necessary for them to come before God in prayer often, asking for God’s guidance, and for them to be quiet before God with pious hearts that hunger and thirst for righteousness. That way, when someone inadvertently says something that hurts you, your heart can be quiet before God, you won’t hold it against them, and you will not want to argue with the other person, much less to defend and justify yourself. Instead, you will accept it from God, thank God for giving you a good opportunity to know yourself, and thank Him for allowing you to become aware that you still have such-and-such issue through the words of others. This is a good opportunity for you to know yourself, it is God’s grace, and you should accept it from God. You should not harbor resentment toward the person who hurt you, nor feel repulsion and hatred toward the person who inadvertently brought up your faults or exposed your shortcomings, either intentionally or unintentionally avoiding them or employing all sorts of ways to retaliate against them. None of these approaches are pleasing to God. Come before God to pray often, and after your heart has calmed down, you will be able to treat it correctly when other people unintentionally harm you, you will be able to show them tolerance and patience. If someone harms you intentionally, what should you do? How would you approach it—would you argue with them out of hotheadedness, or would you quiet yourself before God and seek the truth? Of course, without Me having to say it, you all know clearly which way of entering is the correct choice.

It is very difficult to avoid mutual attacks and verbal spats in church life by relying on human strength, human self-control, and human patience. No matter how good your humanity is, how gentle and kind you are, or how magnanimous, it’s inevitable that you’ll encounter some people or things that hurt your dignity, integrity, and so on. You should have a principle in your mind for how to handle and treat these kinds of issues. If you approach these issues with hotheadedness, it’s very easy: They curse you, and you curse them, they attack you, and you attack them, taking an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, giving whatever they throw at you back to them using the same methods, and you protect your dignity, integrity, and face. This is very easy to achieve. However, you should weigh up in your heart whether this method is advisable, whether it is beneficial to both you and others, and whether it is pleasing to God. Often, when people have not figured out the essence of this issue, their immediate thoughts are, “He doesn’t show me mercy, so why should I show him any? He shows no love to me, so why should I treat him with love? He has no patience for me and doesn’t help me, so why should I be patient with him or help him? He is unkind to me, so I’ll do wrong to him. Why can’t I return an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth?” These are the first thoughts that come to people’s minds. But when you really act in such a way, do you feel at peace inside or uneasy and in pain? When you really choose this, what do you gain? What do you obtain? Many people have experienced that when they really act this way, they feel uneasy inside. Of course, for most people, it’s not a matter of a guilty conscience, much less is it uneasiness caused by a feeling that they are indebted to God; people do not possess that kind of stature. What causes this uneasiness in them? It stems from people’s hatred, the challenge to their dignity and integrity when they are insulted, as well as the hurt they feel and the bursts of fury, hatred, defiance, and indignance that arise in their hearts after being provoked verbally, all of which make people feel uneasy. What are the consequences of this unease? Immediately after feeling it, you’ll begin to contemplate how to use language to handle that person, how to use justifiable and reasonable means to bring them down, to show them that you have dignity and integrity and are not easy to bully. When you feel uneasy, when you produce hatred, what you think about isn’t showing that person patience and tolerance, or treating them correctly, or other positive things, but rather all the negative things, like jealousy, repulsion, loathing, animosity, hatred, and condemnation, to the extent that you curse them countless times in your heart, and, regardless of the time—even while you are eating or sleeping—you think about how to retaliate against them, and imagine how you will deal with them and handle such situations if they attack or condemn you, and so forth. You spend all day pondering how to take the other person down, how to vent your resentment and hatred, and make the other person yield to you and fear you, and not dare to provoke you again. You also often think about how to teach the other person a lesson, to let them know how powerful you are. When such thoughts arise, and when imagined scenarios repeatedly appear in your mind, the disturbance and consequences they cause to you are beyond measure. Once you fall into the state of engaging in verbal spats and mutual attacks, what are the consequences? Is it easy to be quiet before God then? Doesn’t it delay your life entry? (Yes.) This is the impact on a person of choosing the wrong way to handle matters. If you choose the right path, when someone speaks in a way that harms your image or pride, or insults your integrity and dignity, you can choose to be tolerant. You won’t engage in arguments with them using any kind of language or intentionally justify yourself and refute and attack the other party, giving rise to hatred in yourself. What is the essence and significance of being tolerant? You say, “Some of the things he said don’t align with the facts, but that’s how everybody is before they understand the truth and attain salvation, and I was once like this too. Now that I understand the truth, I don’t walk the nonbelievers’ path of arguing about right and wrong or engaging in the philosophy of fighting—I choose tolerance and treating others with love. Some of the things he said don’t align with the facts, but I don’t pay attention to them. I accept what I can recognize and comprehend. I accept it from God and bring it before God in prayer, asking Him to set up circumstances that reveal my corrupt dispositions, allowing me to know the essence of these corrupt dispositions and have an opportunity to begin to address these issues, gradually overcome them, and enter into the truth reality. As for who hurts me with their words and whether the things they say are right or not, or what their intentions are, in one respect, I practice discernment of it, and in another, I tolerate them.” If this person is someone who accepts the truth, you can sit down and fellowship with them peacefully. If they aren’t, if they’re an evil person, then don’t pay attention to them. Wait until they have performed to a sufficient extent, and all the brothers and sisters thoroughly discern them, and you do too, and the leaders and workers are about to clear them out and handle them—that’s when the time has come for God to address them, and of course, you will also feel delighted. However, the path you should choose is not at all to engage in verbal spats with evil people or to argue with them and try to justify yourself. Instead, it is to practice according to the truth principles whenever anything happens. No matter whether it’s dealing with people who have hurt you or those who haven’t and are beneficial to you, the principles of practice should be the same. When you choose this path, will there be any hatred in your heart? There may be a little discomfort. Who wouldn’t feel uncomfortable when their dignity is hurt? If someone claimed to not feel uncomfortable, that would be a lie, it would be deceitful, but you can endure and suffer this hardship for the sake of practicing the truth. When you choose this path, you will have a clear conscience when you come before God again. Why will your conscience be clear? Because you will know clearly that your words do not stem from hotheadedness, that you don’t engage in disputes with others until you’re red in the face for the sake of your own selfish desires, and that, based on a foundation of comprehending the truth, you instead follow God’s way and walk your own path. You will be utterly clear in your heart that the path you have chosen is directed by God, required by God, and so you will feel particularly at peace inside. When you have such peace, will the hatred and personal grudges between you and others disturb you? (No.) When you truly let go and willingly choose the positive path, your heart will be quiet and at peace. You will no longer be disturbed by resentment, hatred, and the retaliatory mindset and schemes generated from that hatred, among other things that are of hotheadedness. The path you’ve chosen will bring you peace and a quiet heart, and those things that are of hotheadedness will no longer be able to disturb you. When they can’t disturb you anymore, will you still think of ways to attack those who hurt you with their words or to engage in verbal spats with them? You will not. Of course, occasionally your hotheadedness, impulsiveness, and resentment will be evoked due to your small stature or due to some special contexts. However, your determination, resolve, and will to practice the truth will prevent these things from perturbing your heart. That is, these things cannot disturb you. You may still have outbursts of hotheadedness, such as thinking, “He’s constantly making things difficult for me. I ought to give him a talking to someday, and ask him why he’s always targeting me and always giving me a hard time. I should ask him why he always looks down on me and insults me.” You may sometimes have these kinds of thoughts. However, after some more thinking, you will realize that they are wrong, and that acting in that way would displease God. When such thoughts arise, you will quickly return before God to reverse this state, so these erroneous thoughts will not dominate you. Consequently, some positive things will begin to emerge within you—such as self-knowledge, as well as some enlightenment and illumination that God gives you, which will enable you to discern people and see through matters—and, without you realizing it, these positive things will make you understand and enter into more of the truth reality. At this point, your resistance, that is, the “antibodies” that fend off hatred, selfish desires, and hotheadedness, will become stronger and stronger, and your stature will grow increasingly larger. Those things that are of hotheadedness will no longer be able to control you. Although you might occasionally have some incorrect thoughts, ideas, and impulses, these things will quickly disappear, they will be eliminated and eradicated by your resistance and stature. At this time, positive things, the reality of the truth, and God’s words will dominate within you. When these positive things dominate, you will no longer be influenced by external people, events, and things. Your stature will grow, your state will become increasingly normal, and you will no longer live by corrupt dispositions and develop in the direction of a vicious cycle, and in this way, your stature will continually grow.

When you are in the church or among a group of people, it is beneficial if you can choose to be tolerant and patient and opt for the right path of practice when you encounter personal attacks that harm your dignity and your integrity. You might not see this benefit, but when you experience this kind of event, you will unconsciously discover that God’s requirements for people and the path He provides them are a bright avenue and a true and living way, that they enable people to gain the truth and benefit people, and that they are the most meaningful path. When you are among a group of people, especially when you are in church life, you can overcome various temptations and enticements. When someone maliciously attacks and hurts you or intentionally seeks to exact revenge against you and vent their hatred upon you, it is crucial that you be able to approach this and practice according to the truth principles. Because God hates people’s corrupt dispositions, He tells people not to approach the things they encounter with hotheadedness, but to be quiet before God and seek the truth and God’s intentions, and then come to understand what God’s requirements for people truly are. Human patience is limited, but once a person understands the truth, there will be principles to their patience, and it can turn into a driving force and aid for that person to practice the truth. However, if a person does not love the truth, likes to argue over right and wrong and attack others, and tends to live within their hotheadedness, then when they are attacked, they will be prone to engaging in verbal spats and mutual attacks. This brings harm to everyone involved, providing no edification or help to anyone. Whenever anyone engages in mutual attacks and verbal spats, afterward they are left exhausted, extremely tired, and both sides are wounded; they aren’t able to obtain any truths at all, and in the end they do not gain anything. What remains is only hatred and the intention to retaliate when they get the opportunity. This is the adverse outcome that mutual attacks and verbal spats ultimately bring upon people.