C. People’s Attitude and Behavior in Their Contact With the Opposite Sex

Our third item is people’s attitude and behavior in their contact with the opposite sex in their daily life. This is an issue that everyone who lives among other people will confront, regardless of their age. What aspect of humanity does it involve? It involves one’s dignity, one’s sense of shame, and the style of one’s conduct. Some people view contact with the opposite sex very casually. They feel that it is no big deal so long as nothing happens, and neither is indulging in lustful thoughts or revealing some iniquitous passion. Should someone with normal humanity have such thoughts? Is this a sign of normal humanity? Once you are old enough to marry and come into contact with the opposite sex, and want to be in a relationship, do it normally, and no one will interfere. But some people don’t want a relationship—they flirt for a couple of days with someone who catches their eye, and as soon as they meet someone who takes their fancy and suits their preferences, they start to show off. And how do they show off? A raised eyebrow, a wink of an eye, or a change in their tone of voice as they talk, or else they move a certain way or start making humorous remarks to get themselves noticed; this is showing off. When a person who is not normally like this reveals these behaviors, you can be sure that there are some members of the opposite sex nearby who suit their preferences. Who are these people? You might say that they conduct themselves in poor style, or do not keep clear boundaries between men and women, but they have not exhibited any deplorable behavior. Some might say that they are simply being frivolous. In other words, they conduct themselves in an undignified way; frivolous people do not have the idea of self-respect. Some people reveal these characteristics in everyday life, but the performance of their duties is not affected, nor has it affected the completion of their work, so is this really a problem? Some say: “As long as it does not hinder their pursuit of the truth, is there any need to talk about it?” What does this relate to? The shame and dignity of one’s humanity. A person’s humanity cannot be without shame and dignity, and without them theirs cannot be normal humanity. Some people are credible, they are earnest, responsible, and work hard in everything they do. They don’t have any major problems, but they simply don’t take this aspect of their lives seriously. When you flirt with a member of the opposite sex, is this constructive, or damaging? What if the one you flirt with falls in love with you? You might say “That’s not what I wanted”; well, if you still flirt with someone when that’s not what you want, aren’t you toying with them? You are harming them! This is somewhat lacking in moral sense. People who do this have poor character. Furthermore, if you do not intend to pursue this relationship and are not serious about it, and yet you still raise your eyebrows and wink at the opposite sex, and show off with fun and humor, doing everything to show that you have style, that you are handsome or pretty—if you show off like this, what are you actually doing? (Seducing people.) There’s an intent to seduce in it. Now is this kind of seductive behavior a noble or an ugly thing? (It’s an ugly thing.) This is where there is no longer any dignity. What sort of people in this world would seduce others? Prostitutes, wanton women, rogues—these people don’t know shame. What does it mean to not know shame? It means that they’re insensible to disgrace. Integrity, shame, and honor, as well as dignity and reputation—they don’t care about any of these. People like this go around showing off and being flirtatious. Flirting with one or two people isn’t enough for them, and they don’t find eight or ten excessive. It would take thousands upon thousands to make them happy. Some married women have had two children, and no one outside the house knows about it. Why don’t they let people know? They’re afraid that once they say they’re married and spoken for, they won’t find any more success in their flirtations, and they’ll lose their seductiveness and allure. That’s why they won’t be open about it. Are such people not insensible to disgrace? Is someone’s humanity normal if it has such things in it? It is not. The implication of this is that if you have such humanity and such behaviors, then you are lacking in terms of normal humanity; it lacks shame and dignity. Some people begin stroking their hair and straightening their clothes as soon as they’re around the opposite sex, or they’ll apply rouge and powder, trying their best to pretty themselves up. What’s their goal in this? Their goal is seduction. This is something that shouldn’t be in normal humanity. To be able to seduce people like this and feel nothing, thinking that it’s quite normal and commonplace, that it’s no big deal, is to lack a sense of shame and to not even know what one should and shouldn’t do. There are some people who’d be willing to walk up and down the street stark naked if they were given ten thousand yuan. What kind of people are they? They are people without a sense of shame. They’ll do anything for money, without shame. Integrity, character, sense of shame, and dignity mean nothing and are worthless to them. They feel that their ability to show off and seduce others is a talent of theirs, and their only joy comes from winning the favor of more people and having more people pursue them. That’s the highest honor to such a woman; it’s what they treasure. They don’t treasure things like dignity, a sense of shame, or character. Is this good humanity? (No.) Have you exhibited these behaviors? (We have.) Are you able to keep them in check, then? Can you keep them in check most of the time, or can you only do so a minority of the time? Do you have the ability to restrain yourselves? People who can restrain themselves are those whose hearts know shame. Everyone has passing moments of impulsiveness and dissolution, but when those who can restrain themselves do, they feel that what they’re doing isn’t right, that it degrades them, that they have to turn around right away, and that they mustn’t do this anymore. And later, when they encounter such a thing again, they’re able to control themselves. If there’s not even this bit of capacity for self-restraint inside your humanity, then what could you rebel against when called on to practice the truth? Some people are blessed with good looks, and are constantly finding themselves pursued by the opposite sex; the more people pursue them, the more they feel they can afford to show off. Isn’t this dangerous for them? What should you do in this situation? (Recognize and avoid this pitfall.) This really is a pitfall, which you must avoid—if you don’t, you may very well find that a person has snared you. You need to avoid this pitfall before you become ensnared; this is called self-restraint. People who have self-restraint have a sense of shame and have dignity. Those who do not have it can be lured away by anyone who seduces them and take the bait whenever someone pursues them, which spells trouble. Furthermore, they will also deliberately show off, preen and dress up, and whatever clothes they have to wear that can make themselves look more handsome, more attractive and pretty, they will specifically choose those to wear, and will wear them each and every day; this is dangerous for them, and it shows that they are someone who is consciously attempting to seduce others. If you look too eye-catching and seductive in these clothes, then you must rebel against your flesh and give up wearing clothes like these. If you are resolved in this regard, then you can do this. If, however, you do not have this resolve and you want to look for a partner, then go ahead and find one: Interact normally with each other, without flirting with the other. If you are not looking for a partner, but still flirt with others, this can only be termed as lacking a sense of shame. You have to be clear about what you are choosing. Can you all abide by the principles? (We have this resolve.) If you have this resolve, then you have the energy, the motivation, and it will be easy to abide by them. Some people are essentially decent by nature, and moreover, having found faith in God, they pursue the truth and take the right path, so they do not have that desire, and do not respond to anyone who attempts to flirt with them. Some people are quite prone to this, while others don’t pay it any heed; some people seem to have this resolve, but even they themselves cannot tell whether they in fact do or do not. In regard to interacting with the opposite sex, this is something you must deal with correctly and reexamine, and identify as part of the dignity and shame of normal humanity. How does lacking a sense of shame relate to lacking humanity? It’s fair to say that if one has no sense of shame, they have no humanity. Why is it that everyone who lacks humanity doesn’t love the truth? And why do we say that one can pursue the truth if they possess humanity? Tell Me, do people without a sense of shame know what’s good and what’s not? (No.) So, when they do bad things that resist and betray God and violate the truth, do they feel any self-reproach? (No.) Can they get on the right path if their conscience does not reprimand them? Can they pursue the truth? Brazen, shameless people are numb; they can’t clearly distinguish positive and negative things, or what God loves and what He loathes. So, when God says to have people be honest, they say, “What’s the matter with telling a lie? Saying a falsehood isn’t degrading!” Wouldn’t someone without shame say something like this? If a person with a sense of shame fails to be honest and is found out by everyone, does their face not grow flushed? Are they not uneasy on the inside? (They are.) And what about a shameless person? “Being an honest person, what others think, what value I have to them, or what weight they accord me—none of it matters to me!” They don’t care. Can they still pursue the truth, then? If you ask them after they’ve spoken lies whether they’re unsettled at heart or whether they feel any self-blame, they’ll say, “What does it mean to be at peace? What’s self-blame? Why does this have to be so troublesome?” They have no such awareness. Can someone of such unsound reason follow God? Can they pursue the truth? They do not pursue it. To them, there are no boundaries between positive and negative things, between the truth and what violates it—they’re all the same. At any rate, they think, it’ll be fine if everyone makes an effort, does their duty, and pays a price. Nothing distinguishes these things. They feel no self-reproach when they’ve done something that resists God, when they’ve done something that violates the truth principles, when they’ve done something that has incurred a loss to someone else’s interests, or when they’ve done something that disturbs the work of the church. They have no self-reproach at all. In this, are they not lacking a sense of shame? People with no sense of shame are undiscerning about such things. For them, it’s about doing whatever they want. Anything goes; there’s no need to use the truth to make judgments. So, there’s no way for people with no sense of shame to understand or practice the truth. This is the relationship between having no sense of shame and lacking humanity. Why, then, were you not able to say this? You’re all thinking, “What You’re preaching doesn’t have much to do with the truth; it’s quite far removed from it. We’re usually able to see these things clearly, so do we still need You to speak about them?” If you feel it has nothing to do with the truth, then how much of the truth reality have you entered? Do you live out normal humanity? Have you really become people who have the truth and humanity? You’re too small of stature and can’t even figure out these things, so what truth reality could you have?

One of the ten administrative decrees of God’s house says: Man has a corrupt disposition and is moreover possessed of feelings. As such, it is absolutely prohibited for two members of the opposite sex to work together unaccompanied when serving God. Any who are discovered doing so will be expelled, without exception. How do people regard this administrative decree? If one man had improper relations with more than thirty women, tell Me, how would the people who heard of this feel about it? (They’d be incredulous.) You’d be surprised to hear it; you’d be shocked, “Goodness, that’s a lot! That’s disgusting, isn’t it?” And what feeling would that man have had when he told you? (He would have acted like it didn’t matter to him.) It would be nothing to write home about to him. Ask him what he’s eating today: “Rice.” Ask him how many women he’s been with: “Thirty or more.” He’d say the two things with precisely the same tone of voice and mindset. Is there any salvation for a person with such humanity? There is not, even if he believes in God. How could he not know to be ashamed when he blurts out something like that? It’s a degrading matter! How could he just blurt it out, then? Tell Me, does he have any sense of shame remaining? No, he doesn’t. The perception of conscience inside his humanity has already gone numb, and he has no perceptiveness anymore. This isn’t a mere matter of being depraved—people without shame or dignity are no longer people. They still look like people on the outside, but it falls apart as soon as they have to handle something. They’re capable of doing anything, with no knowledge of shame—and that means they’re not people anymore. Let’s close our talk on these matters here.

Mull over these three aspects of normal humanity that we’ve discussed today—are they important? Are these things in normal humanity disconnected from the pursuit of the truth? (No.) Then what do they have to do with the pursuit of the truth? If the humanity of a believer in God does not possess a meticulousness, a sense of responsibility, or a capacity for attentiveness in their actions—if they don’t have such humanity, then what can they gain in their belief in God and pursuit of the truth? We’ve fellowshipped on quite a few truths over the years, truths in every area. If people don’t apply themselves or treat these truths with a conscientious mindset, with everything slapped together and nothing done conscientiously, can they achieve an understanding of the truth like this? Some people say: “If I can’t get to an understanding of the truth, can’t I just commit these doctrines and terminologies to memory?” Will you ultimately be able to gain the truth in this way? If you don’t possess this sort of normal humanity and don’t possess these things inside your humanity, meaning that you don’t have a conscientious, meticulous, earnest, and responsible attitude toward things, then the truth turns into doctrines and catchphrases for you—it turns into regulations. You can’t gain the truth, because you’re unable to understand it. Beyond that, if you can’t manage the environment, routine, and style of your personal life well, will you be able to enter the various principles and sayings that involve the truth? You will not. What’s more, people must love positive things in life, and with negative and wicked things, they must maintain an attitude of loathing and revulsion in the depths of their hearts. This is the only way to enter a few truths. This means that in your pursuit of the truth, you must have the correct attitude and the proper frame of mind; you must be an upstanding, serious person. Only people like this can gain the truth. If someone has no sense of shame, and remains numb and unaware at heart when they’ve done many wicked things, many things that rebel against God and violate the truth, thinking it’s no big deal—is the truth of any use to them then? It is of no use at all. The truth exerts no effect on them, and it isn’t able to restrain them, reprimand them, guide them, or point out the direction and path to them, which means they’re in trouble. How could a person without even a sense of shame understand the truth? For a person to be able to understand the truth, they must first be sensitive to positive and negative things at heart. They’re repulsed by so much as a mention of or encounter with a negative or wicked thing, and if they do such a thing themselves, they feel ashamed and unsettled. They feel love for the truth and can accept the truth into their heart; they can use it to restrain themselves and turn their wrong states around. Aren’t these the things that normal humanity should possess? (Yes.) With possession of these, doesn’t it become easy for a person to pursue the truth? And if someone possesses none of them, then speaking about pursuing the truth is just empty talk—how could they do that without positive things in their heart? Not until your normal humanity is possessed of these things will the truth take root, blossom, and bear fruit inside you—not until then will it produce an effect. When you’ve understood the truth, you’ll be able to alter your thinking and restrain your behavior, and your corrupt thoughts will grow ever fewer. This is true change.

How many of these manifestations of normal humanity that we’ve discussed today do you possess? How many do you lack? What do you possess? (A sense of shame.) A sense of shame—that’s a good one. A sense of shame is the least you should possess. What else? Do you all have a conscientious, meticulous mentality and attitude regarding people, events, and things? I see that you’re sloppy in all you do, just being lethargic and slacking off, and when I see those things you do, the anxiety grows in My heart. Can you detect these problems on your own? Do you get worried when you do detect them? (Yes.) In what way? Talk about it. (Now that I’ve just heard God’s fellowship, I feel that I don’t have much humanity, and that I’ve had a flippant mentality toward my duty and the events in my life. I’m so far off from the standards of God’s requirements. It’s a bit frightening.) There’s too much lacking in your humanity, is that it? You feel that you’ve believed in God for years and heard many truths, yet you don’t even have the most fundamental things of humanity—how could you not be anxious? Some people have a bit of technical skill, but everything they do is shoddy. It’s all subpar, not up to standard, and they don’t look into what the advanced and standard methods are. Isn’t this backward-minded of them? For instance, they were once asked to install a door and they said: “Where I’m from, most of the doors we have are single-leaf doors.” That little place they’re from doesn’t set the standard. They should look at the style of doors in businesses and residential buildings in the big cities, then do their work based on the reality of the situation. Yet here, they opened their mouths and said: “We don’t make double-leaf doors back home, and there aren’t too many people here. It wouldn’t be a big deal if there were, either—they can just squeeze in.” Someone else said: “If people are squeezing in for too long, it’ll break the doorframe. Let’s talk this over. Make it a double-sided door this time, as an exception, alright?” Then they said: “No! I make single-leaf doors; I can’t make double-leaf ones. Is it me who knows how to do it, or you? It’s me—so why won’t you listen to me on this? You have to listen to me!” They were told to work according to the situation, but they didn’t listen and insisted on making a small door. Is this not a hassle? When asked to install a glass partition between the interior and exterior to let light in and keep the space from feeling small, they said, “Why would we install glass? That would be a security risk, wouldn’t it? I’m not installing glass; these two doors will do fine. This is the only sort of door we use where I’m from.” They’re always trotting out stuff like “where I’m from,” “back home,” “I’ve studied technical stuff,” in order to suppress others. Are those things the truth? (They are not.) For them to adopt such an attitude toward external matters, what must be deficient inside their humanity? Rationality. And what sort of thing, specifically, must be deficient in their rationality? Insight. They always feel that everything where they’re from is right, that it’s all what’s highest, that it’s all the truth. Isn’t their rationality poor? What should normal rationality look like? With normal rationality, they would say, “I’ve been at this trade for so many years, but I haven’t seen much. This is how we all make doors where I’m from, so let’s see how big the doors are here. We’ll go along with what the people here do. This is a different place, and in this task, I should stay flexible.” Is that not rationality? (It is.) Does such a person have this rationality, then? No—they possess no reason. And how was it handled in the end? The work had to be redone. Is redoing work not a loss? (It is.) Yes, it is. Are there many instances of such matters? There are. That person is stubborn, through and through. How stubborn are they? They didn’t listen to what anyone said; they didn’t even listen to what I said, and they also contradicted Me. I said, “You need to switch it up. If you won’t, this isn’t the job for you.” And they had the guts to say, “I’ll make a door this size even if You don’t need me!” What disposition is that? Is that normal humanity? (No.) It’s not normal humanity—so what humanity is it, then? As I see it, they’re a bit like a beast. It’s just like when an ox is thirsty: No matter how many goods or people it may be carrying in the cart, as soon as it sees a puddle or a river, it’ll pull the cart straight over there. No number of people can drag it away. This is an animal we’re talking about. Do people also have this sort of disposition? When they do, it’s not normal humanity, and that’s dangerous. They’ll find an excuse to deny you, to stop listening. They’re so stubborn and foolish. With such matters in daily life, if you don’t have an attitude of modest acceptance, of being receptive to others’ opinions, if you don’t have an attitude of study, how will you be able to accept the truth? How will you be able to practice it? Everyone says it would be more suitable to make a double-leaf door. You can’t even do that, and that’s nowhere near practicing the truth—you won’t even listen to a sound suggestion. Would you be able to listen to something that touches on the truth? You wouldn’t listen, same as always. It wouldn’t get through to someone who possesses a disposition like this, and that means big trouble for them. If one’s humanity doesn’t even possess this sort of reason, then what truth can they practice? For whom do they do those things that they’re busy with every day? They do them entirely according to their own preferences, their own selfish desires. Every day, they have this sort of view toward the people, events, and things that surround them in daily life: “I’ll do what I want, I’ll do what I think, and I’ll do as I believe.” What is this called? All day long, all that they think is entirely evil. And if they’re so evil at heart, what of their actions? Is there such a thing as a person whose thoughts are all evil, but whose actions all still align with the truth? This is not right—it would be a contradiction. Their thoughts are all evil, and where they start out from is entirely evil, so the things they do will at the very least not be commemorated. And of the things that aren’t commemorated, some are disruptions and disturbances, some are destructive, while others aren’t too bad. If these things were taken seriously, they would have to be condemned. That’s how it works.

There exists in some people a sort of erroneous view, one that others find quite disgusting. These people have a few gifts or strengths, or maybe a craft, some competence, or a special ability in some area, and after they’ve come to believe in God, they think themselves distinguished people. Is this attitude correct? What do you think of this view? Is it a thing that belongs to the thinking of normal humanity? No. What sort of idea is it, then? Is it not lacking in reason? (It is.) They believe, “I’m higher than ordinary people because I know this craft, and I’m better than the average person in god’s house. I’m a man, possessed of craftsmanship and ability, and I’m a good talker and talented. I cut quite a figure in god’s house. I’m the cat’s meow. No one can give me orders, no one can lead me, and no one can command me to do anything. I have this skill, so I’ll do what I want. I don’t have to give a thought to the principles—whatever I do is right and in line with the truth.” What do you think of this view? Are there not people like this? Such people aren’t in the minority, and they come to God’s house to flaunt themselves. If they used their strengths or skills to do a duty in God’s house, that would be alright, but if they’re out to flaunt themselves then that’s a problem of a different nature. Why is it called “flaunting themselves”? They see believers in God as stupid, as nothing. Hasn’t something gone wrong with their thinking? Is something not wrong with their rationality? Is this how things actually are? Are the people who believe in God truly worthless? (No.) Then why would those people see them as such? Why would they have such a thought? What gives rise to such a thought? Do they learn it from nonbelievers? They think that people who believe in God are nothing, that they’re all housewives and househusbands, that they’re all peasants, and that they’re from the lower strata of society. Their view is that of the great red dragon. They think that people who believe in God are incapable, that they couldn’t make their way in society, and that they only came to believe in God because there was no path for them out there, nowhere else to turn. They think that because they have some ability, know a bit about some profession, or have some technical know-how, that makes them a person of talent in God’s house. Is that thought correct? (No.) What is wrong about it? They believe that there aren’t any able people in God’s house, and with their bit of professional know-how, they’d like to wield power and have the final say on things. Are there such people out there? Are there people like this beside you, or among those you’re familiar with or know? There are a number of people who are skilled in a certain area, and when you have them act as a group leader or supervisor, they feel as though they’ve earned an official post. They feel that they have the final say in God’s house, that no one else looks out for the interests of God’s house like they do or protects its interests more than they do, and that no one’s as loyal as them. They want to manage and participate in everything, but they don’t manage anything well, nor do they seek the truth principles. They don’t even listen to what I say. Are there such people out there? (Yes.) There are such people. Under the banner of the certain skill they have, they wish to manage everyone and hold office. For instance, when some brothers and sisters do something that’s not to their liking, they’ll say: “We need to get a handle on these people—they’re outrageous!” When believers in God have a problem, the truth must be fellowshipped with them. This isn’t an army camp where military control must be practiced. With matters in the church, problems can only be resolved by fellowshipping about God’s words and getting people to understand the truth. Those who don’t accept the truth and act arbitrarily and capriciously may be pruned—it’s only those who are dead set on not accepting the truth who may be disciplined. There are some people who have served as supervisors or as leaders and workers who clearly do not have the truth reality, but still always wish to wield power and have the final say in God’s house. Do these people have a conscience and reason? They merely know a few tricks of a trade and don’t understand the truth in the slightest. They think themselves useful and capable, thinking that they’re better than the average person in God’s house, and they wish to do what they want in the church from a position of power—to have the sole, final say. They don’t seek the truth principles but act according to what they wish, according to their preferences. What’s the problem here? Is this not the disposition of an antichrist? Do people like this have the reason of normal humanity? They don’t have a shred of it. We’ll bring our fellowship on normal humanity to a close here.