304 I Always Yearn for God’s Love
1 Only when God’s words of judgment awakened me did I realize I believed in God with my conceptions. Ignoring His words and not being considerate of His will have left remorse in my heart. Being dealt with, pruned and disciplined over and over, I always complained and argued in my heart. Being tested and refined over and over, I always tried to flee, to distance myself from God. I hate that I’m so corrupt and have failed to live up to God’s painstaking intentions. O God! Your words of judgment and revelation have wakened me from my dream.
2 I have wasted so much time; I have believed in God for years and yet failed to understand the truth. All of the past flashes before my eyes, nothing but resistance and disobedience. I believed in God but did not experience His judgment and chastisement, and my regret really has come too late. It’s no wonder my life disposition has not changed, and I perform poorly with every duty I do. I feel such remorse, and I owe God so much. I yearn for God’s love and I hate myself even more for my heartlessness. God’s judgment gives people life; I will rise up and seek with purpose, no longer to wander aimlessly. I shall pursue the truth and gain life; I shall fulfill my duty well to repay God’s love.