Words on Knowing Oneself (Excerpt 42)
The key to achieving a change in disposition is to know one’s own nature, and this must happen in accordance with exposure of God. Only in God’s word can one know one’s own hideous nature, recognize in one’s own nature Satan’s various poisons, realize that one is foolish and ignorant, and recognize the weak and negative elements in one’s nature. After these are fully known, and you are truly able to hate yourself and rebel against the flesh, consistently carry out God’s word, consistently pursue the truth while performing your duties, achieve a change in your disposition, and become a person who truly loves God, then you will have embarked on the path of Peter. Without the grace of God, and without enlightenment and guidance from the Holy Spirit, it would be difficult to walk this path, because people do not possess truth and are unable to rebel against themselves. Walking Peter’s path of perfection primarily rests on being resolved, having faith, and relying on God. Furthermore, one must submit to the work of the Holy Spirit; in all things, one cannot do without God’s words. These are the key aspects, none of which can be violated. Getting to know oneself through experience is very difficult; without the work of the Holy Spirit, it is futile. To walk the path of Peter, one must concentrate on knowing oneself and on transforming one’s disposition. Paul’s path was not one of seeking life or focusing on self-knowledge; he particularly focused on doing work and its influence and momentum. His motivation was to gain God’s blessings in exchange for his work and suffering, and to receive rewards from God. This motivation was wrong. Paul did not focus on life, nor did he place any importance on achieving a change of disposition; he focused only on rewards. Because he had the wrong goals, the path on which he walked was, of course, also wrong. This was brought about by his arrogant and conceited nature. Clearly, Paul did not possess any truth, nor did he have any conscience or reason. In saving and changing people, God primarily alters their dispositions. The purpose of His words is to achieve in people the outcome of possessing transformed dispositions and the ability to know God, submit to Him, and worship Him in a normal way. This is the purpose of God’s words and of His work. Paul’s way of seeking was in direct violation of, and in conflict with, God’s intentions; it ran completely counter to them. However, Peter’s way of seeking was completely in accord with God’s intentions: He focused on life, and on changes in disposition, which is precisely the outcome that God desires to achieve in human beings with His work. Peter’s path is therefore blessed and receives God’s approval. Because the path of Paul goes against God’s intentions, God therefore hates and curses it. To walk the path of Peter, one must know God’s intentions. If one is truly able to fully understand His intentions through His words—which means understanding what God wants to make of man and, ultimately, what outcome He desires to achieve—only then is one able to have an accurate understanding of which path to follow. If you do not fully understand Peter’s path, and merely have a desire to follow it, then you will not be able to embark upon it. In other words, you might know a lot of doctrines, but will ultimately not be able to enter reality. Though you might make a superficial entry, you will be unable to achieve any real result.
Nowadays, most people have a very superficial understanding of themselves. They have not come to clearly know the things that are part of their nature at all. They only have knowledge of a few of the corrupt states they reveal, the things they are likely to do, or a few of their shortcomings, and this makes them believe that they know themselves. If, furthermore, they abide by a few regulations, ensure that they do not make mistakes in certain areas, and manage to avoid committing certain transgressions, they then consider themselves to possess reality in their belief in God and assume that they will be saved. This is completely human imagination. If you abide by those things, will you really become able to refrain from committing any transgressions? Will you have attained a true change in disposition? Will you really be living out the likeness of a human being? Can you genuinely satisfy God that way? Absolutely not, this is for sure. Belief in God works only when one has high standards and has attained the truth and some transformation in one’s life disposition. This first requires dedication to knowing oneself. If people’s knowledge of themselves is too shallow, they will find it impossible to solve problems, and their life dispositions simply will not change. It is necessary to know oneself on a profound level, which means knowing one’s own nature: what elements are included in that nature, how these things originated, and where they came from. Moreover, are you actually able to hate these things? Have you seen your own ugly soul and your wicked nature? If you are truly able to see the truth about yourself, then you will hate yourself. When you hate yourself and then practice God’s word, you will be able to rebel against the flesh and have the strength to carry out truth without believing it to be strenuous. Why do many people follow their fleshly preferences? Because they consider themselves to be pretty good, feeling that their actions are right and justified, that they have no faults, and even that they are entirely in the right, they are therefore capable of acting with the assumption that justice is on their side. When one recognizes what one’s true nature is—how ugly, how despicable, and how pitiful—then one is not overly proud of oneself, not so wildly arrogant, and not so pleased with oneself as before. Such a person feels, “I must be earnest and down to earth in practicing some of God’s word. If not, then I will not measure up to the standard of being human, and will be ashamed to live in God’s presence.” One then truly sees oneself as paltry, as truly insignificant. At this time, it becomes easy for one to carry out truth, and one will appear to be somewhat like a human should be. Only when people truly hate themselves are they able to rebel against the flesh. If they do not hate themselves, they will be unable to rebel against the flesh. Truly hating oneself is not a simple matter. There are several things that must be found in them: First, knowing one’s own nature; and second, seeing oneself as needy and pitiful, seeing oneself to be extremely small and insignificant, and seeing one’s own pitiful and dirty soul. When one fully sees what one truly is, and this outcome is achieved, one then truly gains knowledge of oneself, and it can be said that one has come to know oneself fully. Only then can one truly hate oneself, going so far as to curse oneself, and truly feel that one has been corrupted profoundly by Satan such that one does not even resemble a human being. Then, one day, when the threat of death appears, such a person will think, “This is God’s righteous punishment. God is indeed righteous; I really should die!” At this point, he will not lodge a complaint, much less blame God, simply feeling that he is so needy and pitiful, so filthy and corrupt that he should be eliminated and destroyed by God, and a soul like his is not fit to live on earth. Therefore, this person will not complain against or resist God, much less betray God. If one does not know oneself, and still considers oneself to be pretty good, then when death comes knocking, this person will think, “I have done so well in my faith. How hard I have sought! I have given so much, I have suffered so much, yet ultimately, God is now asking me to die. I don’t know where God’s righteousness is. Why is He asking me to die? If I have to die, then who will be saved? Won’t the human race come to an end?” First of all, this person has notions about God. Secondly, this person is complaining, and not showing any submission whatsoever. This is just like Paul: When he was about to die, he did not know himself, and by the time God’s punishment was nigh, it was all too late.
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