By Yi Xin, China

In February 2023, because of a Judas’ betrayal, the police came to my house to interrogate me about my faith in God. Seeing that I couldn’t walk due to necrosis of the thighbone, they didn’t take me away. At that time, I couldn’t do any duties, and because of the dangers in my environment, the brothers and sisters couldn’t come to my house. Initially, I knew that this kind of environment was permitted by God, but when I thought that I couldn’t do my duties, couldn’t even perform a service, I wondered if God was revealing and eliminating me through this environment. I also thought that many people in the church had been revealed and eliminated one after another the past couple years. Take Wang Tao for example. He did a text-based duty, believed in God for many years, forsook youth and marriage, and never married even in his forties or fifties, always doing his duty away from home, but was later revealed to be a disbeliever and cleared out. There was also Li Li, who, after believing in God for a short time, left her family business to focus on her faith. No matter how the world slandered and ridiculed her, or how her son opposed her, she still did her duties, and she suffered a lot and paid a price when spreading the gospel and gained some people. In the end, she was revealed to be an evil person and cleared out. And there were quite a few people who were cleared out for playing the Judas after being caught. Seeing all these familiar faces being revealed and eliminated one by one, I felt that God’s work had truly come to a point where everyone was classified according to kind, and that although the church did not clear me out, God eliminating me through this environment meant that God no longer wanted me. Thinking of this, I felt very negative and sad, and also puzzled. Didn’t God choose this many people in order to save them? Why were they being revealed and eliminated one by one in the end? This way, at the end of God’s work, there wouldn’t be many left. Would this really be God’s intention? Especially when I read in God’s words about performing duties, I thought, “I can’t even walk now, how can I perform my duties? God scrutinizes the depths of people’s hearts; He must know that I am too corrupt, so He eliminated me through illness. What use is it for me to pursue the truth diligently? There won’t be salvation for me in the future, and there won’t be any good outcome or destination.” I became so negative that I didn’t want to do anything. I wasn’t in the mood to read God’s words, and I didn’t know what to say when I prayed to God. I often cried out of negativity. I knew my state was wrong, and I didn’t want to continue being so negative. So, I prayed to God, saying, “God, my state is very bad. I feel like You don’t want me and have eliminated me. God, please lead me to understand Your intention and guide me out of this negative state.” I kept praying to God repeatedly.

Later, I came across this passage in God’s words: “Church work has been incredibly busy in recent years, and so the transfer and reassignment, as well as the revealing, eliminating, and cleansing away of members in each group has been relatively frequent. In the process of carrying out this work, the transfer of team members has been especially frequent and broad in scope. However, irrespective of how many transfers take place or how much things change, the determination to pursue the truth in those who truly believe in and desire God does not change, their wish to attain salvation does not change, their faith in God does not wane, and they are always developing in a good direction and have continued to persevere in performing their duties up to today. There are those who are even much better than this who, through being constantly reassigned, find their right place, and learn how to seek the principles and perform their duty. Those who do not pursue the truth, however, who have no love for positive things and who feel averse toward the truth, do not perform well. Some people are currently forcing themselves to keep performing their duties, when in fact their inner state is already a complete mess, and they are utterly depressed and negative. They still haven’t left the church, however, and they appear as though they believe in God and they still perform their duties, but in reality their hearts have changed, and they have departed from and abandoned God. Some people get married and return home to live their lives…. Some people continue to pursue their dreams of becoming rich; some continue to pursue an official career and realize their dream of being an official or a bureaucrat; some pursue the prosperity of having children, so they take a wife who can bear them sons; some people are hounded for their belief in God, are persecuted for years until they become weak and sick, and then they abandon their duties and return home to live out their remaining years. Everyone’s situation is different. Some people leave of their own accord and have their names delisted, some are disbelievers who are cleared out, and some do all manner of evil deeds and are expelled. What lies within the bones of all these people? What is their essence? Have you clearly seen it? … So, when they started believing in God, they were filled with enthusiasm, they gave up their homes, their jobs, and they often made offerings and took on risky jobs for God’s house. However you looked at them, they all sincerely expended themselves for God. So how come they have changed now? Is it because God disliked them and used them from the beginning? (No.) God treats everyone fairly and equally and gives opportunities to all. They all lived the church life, ate and drank God’s words, and lived being provided for, watered, and shepherded by God, so how come they changed so much? Their behavior when they first began to believe in God and their behavior at the time they left the church was like they were two people. Has God caused them to lose hope? Has God’s house or God’s deeds caused them to feel bitterly disappointed? Has God, the words God utters, or the work God does hurt their dignity? (No.) So what’s the reason then? Who can explain this? … (God, I think that, when these people first came to believe in God, they relied on their enthusiasm and good intent, and they were able to do some things, but now God’s house is treating all its work more and more seriously. It requires people to do things in line with the truth principles. But these people don’t accept the truth, they run amok doing whatever they please when performing their duties, and they’re often pruned. So, they feel increasingly that they cannot keep on muddling along as they are, until finally they leave God’s house. I think this is one reason.) They cannot keep on muddling along as they are—is this a true thing to say? (Yes.) They cannot keep on muddling along as they are—this is said regarding people who muddle through things. There are some people who come to believe in God who do not muddle through things, who are very earnest, who treat this matter very seriously, so how come they didn’t keep going? (Because, by their very nature, these people do not love the truth. They came to believe in God in order to receive blessings. They see God’s house always talking about the truth, and they feel averse and resistant toward the truth, and they become less and less willing to attend gatherings and listen to sermons, and this is how they get exposed.) This is a kind of situation, and there are many people like this. There are also some people who always perform their duties in a slipshod manner, who never perform their duty well or take responsibility for it whatever duty they do. It’s not that they aren’t capable or that their caliber isn’t up to the task, it’s that they’re disobedient and they don’t do things according to what God’s house requires. They always do things however they want to do them, until finally they cause disruptions and disturbances because they run amok and do whatever they please. They don’t repent no matter how they’re pruned, and so they end up being sent away. These people who are sent away have an incredibly odious disposition and an arrogant humanity. Wherever they go, they want to have the final word, they look down on everyone, and they act like tyrants, until finally they are removed. After some people are replaced and eliminated, they feel that nothing goes smoothly for them anywhere they go, and no one values them or pays attention to them anymore. No one regards them highly anymore, they cannot have the final word anymore, they cannot get what they want, and they have no hope of attaining any status, much less of receiving blessings. They feel they have no hope of muddling along in the church anymore, they have no interest for it anymore, and so they choose to leave—there are many people like this” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (4)). “The road of belief in God is rocky and uneven. This is ordained by God. No matter what happens, regardless of whether it is as people wish, or accords with their notions and imaginings, or is foreseeable to them, its happening cannot be dissevered from God’s sovereignty and His orchestration. God’s doing all that He does is significant in that it allows people to take a lesson from it and know God’s sovereignty. The goal of knowing God’s sovereignty is not that people should resist God, nor is it that people, having understood God, should have more power and capital with which to compete with Him. Rather, it is that when things befall them, people should learn to accept them from God, seek the truth to understand it, and then practice the truth to achieve true submission, and develop true faith in Him. Do you understand this? (Yes.) Well then, how do you put it into practice? Is your path of practice regarding such things correct? Do you treat each thing that befalls you with a heart of submission and an attitude of seeking the truth? If you are someone who pursues the truth, you will be possessed of such a mindset. Whatever befalls you, you will accept it from God, and you will go on to seek the truth, and grasp His intentions, and view people and things on the basis of His words. In all the things that befall you, you will be able to experience and know God’s work, and capable of submission to Him. If you are not someone who pursues the truth, then no matter what befalls you, you will not deal with it according to God’s words, nor will you seek the truth. You will just muddle through, without gaining any truths whatsoever as a result. God makes people perfect by arranging many things that do not conform to their notions, in order to train them to seek the truth, gain an understanding of His deeds, and see His almightiness and wisdom, so that their life gradually grows. Why is it that those who pursue the truth experience God’s work, gain the truth and are perfected by God, whereas those who don’t are eliminated? It is because those who pursue the truth can seek it no matter what befalls them, so they have the work and enlightenment of the Holy Spirit, and can therefore practice the truth, enter into the reality of God’s words, and be perfected by Him; whereas, those who do not love the truth see that God’s work does not conform to their notions, and yet do not fix this by seeking the truth, and can even become negative and complain. Over time, their notions of God increase, and they start to doubt and deny Him. As a result, they are thrown off and eliminated by God’s work” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (11)). After reading God’s words, I understood God’s intention. Regardless of what kind of environment God orchestrates, He hopes that people can learn lessons from it, seek the truth, and discern various people, events, and things, thereby perfecting those who genuinely believe in God and pursue the truth. However, those who do not pursue the truth are unwilling to seek the truth or learn lessons from the environments orchestrated by God, and instead they are negative and complain about God, so they will ultimately be eliminated by Him. Now, as I saw people in the church being revealed and eliminated one by one, considering my inability to do my duties due to illness, I thought that God was revealing and eliminating me, which made me feel negative. All of this needed to be resolved through seeking the truth; I could not continue to live in negativity. I reflected on what I was revealing. I felt that God orchestrated these environments to reveal and eliminate people, that God unilaterally didn’t want people. Was this viewpoint correct? Through pondering God’s words, I understood one thing: God is righteous in how He treats all people. He has expressed so much truth to supply us with, clearly explaining the principles and paths in all aspects, and also telling us the consequences of living by our corrupt dispositions and walking the wrong path. Then God orchestrates environments to test people, to see if they can act in accordance with the truth principles and stand firm in their testimony. During this period, God does not force or compel people to choose a certain way; He gives people freedom. If people can seek the truth and submit in the environment orchestrated by God, reflect and know themselves, and practice according to God’s words, then the environment they encounter is a means for them to be perfected. However, if they resist the environment orchestrated by God and do not seek the truth, then this environment reveals and eliminates them. A person’s final outcome is related to their own choices and the path they walk. Just as God’s words say: “Success or failure depends on the path that man walks” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God). Thinking about those in the church who were revealed and eliminated, it was all related to their personal choices and their failure to pursue the truth. Like Wang Tao, even though he initially forsook everything to do his duties, he consistently refused to accept the truth, always over-analyzing people and things. He didn’t listen to the leader’s fellowship, nor was he willing to do his duty. He even impatiently said, “They talk about God’s work coming to an end every day, but who knows when that will be! I want to work and earn some money.” The leader fellowshipped the significance of believing in God and doing duties, but Wang put on airs, saying, “Dismiss me then. I can’t do this duty.” After his dismissal, some brothers and sisters fellowshipped with him about doing duty, and he said, “No matter how you fellowship with me, I won’t do my duty—go ahead and expel me if you want to.” As for Li Li, although she was able to forsake things, expend herself, and do her duties, she did not accept things from God, and refused to accept the truth outright, over-analyzing people and things, even passing judgment on the brothers and sisters and disturbing church life. Despite multiple attempts by the brothers and sisters to fellowship with her, she refused to change. Later, her gospel-spreading bore no fruit, and she even spread negativity, causing disturbances in the gospel work. When pruned by leadership, she seemed to accept it, but later spread her dissatisfaction with the leader, drawing others to her side and causing them to harbor prejudices against the leader, showing no remorse whatsoever. I saw that they were revealed and eliminated because of their consistent refusal to accept the truth, their failure to reflect on and know themselves through the situations they encountered, and their tendency to act according to their corrupt dispositions, disrupting and disturbing the church’s work. But I mistakenly believed that God unilaterally wanted to eliminate people, that He didn’t want people anymore. This was a misunderstanding of God, and it could even be considered blasphemy against God. I also thought about how I had an illness that prevented me from going out to do my duty, and because of the dangers in my environment, the brothers and sisters couldn’t get in contact with me. I believed that God had revealed and eliminated me, but this was also a misunderstanding of God. In reality, God orchestrated such environments to test me, to see what path I would choose. If I had continued to complain and misunderstand, living in negativity, not reading God’s words, not praying to God or drawing near to Him, or even considering abandoning God, then this environment would indeed have revealed and eliminated me. But if I could submit in this environment, reflect and recognize the corruptions I was revealing, and seek the truth to resolve them, then this kind of environment would have been perfecting me. Understanding these things brightened my heart a lot. Now, even though I couldn’t do my duties in this environment, I needed to submit, seek the truth, and resolve my corrupt disposition.

I pondered: Why did I grow so negative when faced with this environment? Then I read this passage in God’s words: “People believe in God in order to be blessed, to be rewarded, to be crowned. Doesn’t this exist in everyone’s heart? It is a fact that it does. Although people don’t often talk about it, and even cover up their motive and desire to obtain blessings, this desire and motive deep in people’s hearts has always been unshakable. No matter how much spiritual theory people understand, what experience or knowledge they have, what duty they can perform, how much suffering they endure, or how much of a price they pay, they never let go of the motivation for blessings hidden deep in their hearts, and always silently toil in its service. Isn’t this the thing buried deepest inside people’s hearts? Without this motivation to receive blessings, how would you feel? With what attitude would you perform your duty and follow God? What would become of people if this motivation to receive blessings that is hidden in their hearts was gotten rid of? It is possible that many people would become negative, while some would become demotivated in their duties. They would lose interest in their belief in God, as if their soul had vanished. They would appear as if their heart had been snatched away. This is why I say the motivation for blessings is something hidden deep in people’s hearts. Perhaps, as they perform their duty or live the life of the church, they feel that they are able to forsake their families and gladly expend themselves for God, and that they now have knowledge of their motivation to receive blessings, and have put this motivation aside, and are no longer governed or constrained by it. Then, they think that they no longer have the motivation to be blessed, but God believes otherwise. People only view matters superficially. Without trials, they feel good about themselves. As long as they don’t leave the church or deny God’s name, and they persist in expending for God, they believe they have changed. They feel they are no longer driven by personal enthusiasm or momentary impulses in the performance of their duty. Instead, they believe they can pursue the truth, and that they can continuously seek and practice the truth while performing their duty, so that their corrupt dispositions are purified and they achieve some genuine change. However, when things happen that are directly related to people’s destination and outcome, how do they behave? The truth is revealed in its entirety” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Six Indicators of Life Growth). After reading God’s words, I realized that I was only believing in God to gain blessings. In the past, when I wasn’t faced with any situations, I could do my duties actively. I would undertake any work assigned by the church; even when I was suffering from illness, I persisted in doing my duties. But now, with severe illness, I couldn’t do any duties, and the brothers and sisters couldn’t contact me. I felt that God had eliminated me, and I had no good outcome or destination anymore. I became negative to the point that I didn’t want to do any duties, pursue the truth, or strive upward anymore. I wasn’t even in the mood to read God’s words, and I lived in a state of negativity. It turned out I had been doing my duties actively in order to gain blessings, in exchange for a good outcome and destination from God. When I saw that there was no longer any hope of receiving blessings, I lost the impetus to believe in God—there wasn’t any sincerity in my belief in God and performance of duty. I used to think that my belief in God was sincere, that I was someone who pursued the truth, and whenever something happened, I would promptly seek the truth to resolve it. This experience revealed me completely. When I saw that there was no longer any hope for blessings, I became negative and stopped seeking the truth. How could I be someone who pursues the truth? Even if I hadn’t encountered this kind of environment and could continue to do my duties, if my corrupt disposition didn’t change, and my motivations and views on believing in God and doing my duties weren’t correct, then in the end, I’d be a target for God’s elimination for not gaining the truth. I felt regretful and indebted in my heart, so I prayed to God, saying, “God, I really lack conscience. I don’t sincerely believe in You; it is all for blessings. God, I’m willing to repent and change. Regardless of my future outcome, I will earnestly believe in You and follow You, and diligently pursue the truth.”

Later, I read a passage of God’s words and gained some knowledge about my viewpoints. Almighty God says: “There are those who ask, ‘Doesn’t God want every person to be saved and not want anyone to suffer perdition? If God used such a method to act, how many people would be able to be saved?’ In response, God would ask, ‘How many people heed My words and follow My way?’ There are as many as there are—this is God’s view and the method of His work. God does no more. What is man’s notion of this matter? ‘God takes pity on this mankind, He’s concerned for this mankind, so He’s got to take responsibility unto the end. If man follows Him unto the end, he’ll inevitably be saved.’ Is this notion right or wrong? Does it accord with God’s intentions? In the Age of Grace, it was normal for people to have these notions, because they did not know God. In the last days, God has told people all these truths, and God has also made clear to them the principles of His work of saving people, so it is very preposterous if people still have these notions in their hearts. God has told you all these truths, so if, in the end, you still say that you don’t understand God’s intentions and don’t know how to practice, and you still say such rebellious and treacherous words, can such a person be saved by God? There are some who always think, ‘God does such great work, He should gain more than half of the people in the world, and use a great force of many people with lots of high-class personages to bear witness to God’s glorification. How wonderful that would be!’ This is man’s notion. In the Bible, in both the Old and New Testaments, how many were there, in total, who were saved and made perfect? Who was able to fear God and shun evil in the end? (Job and Peter.) They were the only two. As God sees it, to fear Him and shun evil is, in fact, to meet the standard of knowing Him, of knowing the Creator. People like Abraham and Noah were righteous in God’s eyes, but they were still a level beneath Job and Peter. Of course, God did not do so much work then. He did not provide for people as He does now, nor did He speak so many clear words, nor did He do the work of salvation on such a large scale. He may not have gained many people, but this is still within His preordination. What aspect of the Creator’s disposition can be seen in this? God hopes to gain many people, but if many people cannot, in fact, be gained—if this humanity cannot be gained by God while He does His work of salvation—then God would rather abandon them and discard them. This is the inner voice and view of the Creator. In this regard, what demands or notions does man have of God? ‘Since You wish to save me, You must be responsible unto the end, and You promised me blessings, so You must give them to me and let me gain them.’ Within man, there is many a ‘must’—many demands—and this is one of his notions. Others say, ‘God does such great work—a six-thousand-year management plan—if, in the end, He only gains two people, that would be such a shame. Wouldn’t His actions be in vain then?’ Man thinks it ought not to be so, but God is happy to gain even two people. God’s real purpose is not merely to gain those two, but to gain more than that, but if people do not wake up and understand, and they all misunderstand and resist God, and are all hopeless and worthless, then God would rather not have them. That is God’s disposition. Some people say, ‘That won’t do. Wouldn’t Satan be laughing then?’ Satan may be laughing, but is it not God’s vanquished enemy all the same? God has still gained mankind—several among them who can rebel against Satan and not suffer its control. God has gained true created beings. Are those who have not been gained by God then taken captive by Satan? You have not been made perfect—are you capable of following Satan? (No.) Some people say: ‘Even if God doesn’t want me, I still won’t follow Satan. Even if it offered me blessings, I wouldn’t take them.’ None of those whom God has not gained follow Satan—does God not thus gain glory? People have a notion about the number of people God gains or the scale with which He gains them; they believe God should not gain only those few. That man can give rise to such a notion is because, in one regard, man cannot fathom the mind of God and cannot understand what sort of person He wants to gain—there is always a distance between man and God; in another regard, to have such a notion is a way for man to comfort himself and set himself free so far as his own destiny and future are concerned. Man believes, ‘God has gained so few people—how glorious it would be for Him to gain us all! If God didn’t discard a single person, but conquered everyone, and everyone was made perfect in the end, and the talk of God’s choosing and saving people didn’t come to naught, nor did His work of management, then wouldn’t Satan be humiliated all the more? Wouldn’t God gain greater glory?’ That he can say this is partly because he does not know the Creator and partly because he has his own selfish motive: He is worried about his future, so he hitches it to the Creator’s glory, and thus his heart feels at ease, thinking that he can have his cake and eat it too. In addition, he also feels that ‘God gaining people and humiliating Satan is strong evidence of Satan’s defeat. It’s killing three birds with one stone!’ People are really good at working out how to benefit themselves. This notion is quite clever, isn’t it? People have selfish motives, and is there not something of rebelliousness in these motives? Is there not a demand made of God? There is within it an unvoiced resistance against God that says, ‘You have chosen us, led us, labored so much on us, bestowed Your life and Your entirety upon us, bestowed Your words and truth upon us, and had us follow You all these years. What a loss it would be if You couldn’t gain us in the end.’ Such an excuse is an attempt to blackmail God, to obligate Him to gain them. It’s saying that if God doesn’t gain them, then they won’t be losing out, and that it’s God who will suffer a loss—is this statement correct? Within this, there are both man’s demands, and his imaginings and notions: God does such great work, so He must gain however many people. Where does this ‘must’ come from? It comes from man’s notions and imaginings, his unreasonable demands, and his vanity, along with some admixture of his intransigent and ferocious disposition” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Resolving One’s Notions Can One Embark on the Right Track of Belief in God (2)). From God’s words, I gained some discernment of my own notions. In the past, I thought God shouldn’t reveal and eliminate people; He should gain more people so that He could receive more glory. Therefore, when I saw people in the church being revealed and eliminated one by one, I felt puzzled: With so many people being revealed and eliminated, how many would ultimately be saved? Especially when I couldn’t do my duties due to illness, I also felt that God was revealing and eliminating me. I misunderstood God and even argued with Him in my heart, “Isn’t God’s work about saving people? Why are we all being eliminated in the end?” This showed my lack of knowledge about God’s work. Actually, God’s intention to save people remains unchanged, and He hopes to gain more people. As long as people are willing to labor loyally for God, He won’t easily eliminate them. However, if people don’t cherish God’s salvation, don’t seek the truth when faced with situations, don’t perform their duties according to God’s requirements, and end up doing more harm than good with their labor, God would rather give such people up. God’s disposition is righteous and holy. He doesn’t seek quantity but quality of people. What He wants to gain are true created beings who can sincerely worship and be compatible with Him, even if they are few. Also, my hope that God would save more people instead of revealing and eliminating them carried with it my own selfishness. Because in that case, I wouldn’t be eliminated, and my prospects and destination would be secured. So, when I felt like I was being revealed and eliminated by God, I became negative and didn’t want to pursue the truth anymore. I reasoned with God in my heart: Didn’t God choose us to save us? Why were so many of us being revealed and eliminated one by one? My implication was that God shouldn’t eliminate us; He should save us to the end. Didn’t this carry the same nature as Paul’s words: “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: From now on there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness” (2 Timothy 4:7–8)? This is clamoring against God! It is such a vicious disposition. Actually, no matter what environment God orchestrates, it is in order to make us seek the truth therein and gain the truth, so that we can cast off our corrupt disposition and be saved. Just like this environment: Although it didn’t align with my notions and brought me some pain, it revealed the motivation to receive blessings within me, making me recognize the mixed motivations behind my belief in God and performance of duty, and enabling me to turn around and change. I saw that this environment was salvation for me. God has made painstaking efforts to save us. He not only expresses the truth to supply us, but also orchestrates various environments for us to experience to cleanse and perfect us. Yet, I resisted and complained about the environments God orchestrated. I really didn’t appreciate it! God choosing me to accept His work of the last days is already His grace. I should be thankful to Him. Even if I didn’t ultimately receive blessings or have a good outcome, I should still submit to God and not argue with Him.

Later, I came across more of God’s words: “Start pursuing it seriously from now on—but how should you pursue it? You need to reflect upon the matters in which you often rebel against God. God has arranged circumstances for you again and again in order to teach you a lesson, to change you through these matters, to work His words into you, to make you enter into an aspect of the truth reality, and to stop you from living according to Satan’s corrupt disposition in those matters, and for you to instead live according to God’s words, for His words to be wrought into you and become your life. But you often rebel against God in these matters, neither submitting to God nor accepting the truth, not taking His words as principles that you should follow, and not living out His words. This hurts God, and time and time again, you lose your opportunity for salvation. So, how should you turn yourself around? Starting today, in matters which you can recognize through reflection and clearly sense, you should submit to God’s orchestration, accept His words as the truth reality, accept His words as the life, and change the way you live. When you encounter situations like this, you should rebel against your flesh and your preferences, and act according to the truth principles. Isn’t this the path of practice? (It is.) … However, if you wish to attain salvation, if you wish to practice and experience God’s words, and gain the truth and the life, you must read God’s words more, attain an understanding of the truth, be able to practice and submit to His words, and start off by practicing the truth and upholding the truth principles. These are just a few simple sentences, yet people do not know how to practice or experience them. Regardless of your caliber or education, and regardless of your age or years of faith, in any case, if you’re on the right path of practicing the truth, with the correct goals and direction, and if what you pursue and exert is all for the sake of practicing the truth, what you ultimately gain will undoubtedly be the truth reality and God’s words becoming your life. First determine your goal, then gradually practice according to this path, and in the end, you will certainly gain something. Do you believe this? (Yes.)” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (20)). God’s words showed me the path of practice. If I wanted to pursue the truth and be saved, I must submit to the environments God orchestrated, seek the truth, and practice according to God’s words. Even though I couldn’t do any duties now or have contact with the brothers and sisters, I’d seen God’s protection in this situation. Despite my severe illness, God granted me each breath, and I was still alive. I could still read God’s words at home; God did not deprive me of the right to read His words. But I didn’t know to be thankful. Instead of appreciating God’s protection, I was negative and misunderstood Him. I was really unreasonable. I needed to reflect and know myself more, seeking relevant words of God to address my own corruption—that would be a manifestation of pursuing the truth.

After some time, I was able to do my duties again, selecting gospel sermons. I felt deeply thankful to God for giving me another chance to do my duty. During the performance of my duty, I paid attention to examining the corrupt disposition that I revealed. Sometimes, if I achieved some results in my duty, I couldn’t help but feel pleased with myself, thinking I was pretty good. But when the performance of my duty didn’t yield much or went off course, I became negative, concerned about how others viewed me. In response to these revelations about myself, I sought God’s words for resolution. After practicing like this for a while, I felt very fulfilled in my heart. Thank God for His guidance!