See My Parents for Who They Are

March 14, 2022

By Xinche, South Korea

Since I was little, I always saw my parents as role models for following God. They seemed really ardent in their faith and willing to make sacrifices. Soon after accepting Almighty God, my mom left a really good job to do a duty full time. She had some skills and knowledge and was willing to pay a price, so she always had important duties in the church. Our family was sold out by a Judas later on, so my parents went into hiding with me, to avoid arrest by the CCP. Even so, they kept doing their duties. And combined with the simplicity of their lifestyle and their general behavior that appeared devout and spiritual, I often heard church members say my parents had good humanity, were true believers, and pursued the truth. I had to be separated from my parents when I was 10 because of the Party’s oppression and we couldn’t see each other anymore, but I always maintained this grand impression of them. I really looked up to them and felt like they had tremendous faith in God, that with all their sacrifices and taking on important duties, they must pursue the truth and have good humanity, and God must approve of them. I even felt like they were people who could be saved. I was really proud to have parents like that.

Later, all of us ended up fleeing abroad because of the Party’s persecution. When I got in touch with them after that, I saw that they were still doing duties abroad. Especially when I found out my mom had had quite a few roles as a supervisor, I looked up to her even more. My parents had been believers all those years and sacrificed so much, plus they had important duties. I thought they had to be seekers of the truth, to have stature, so in the future I could go to them for help whenever I had any sort of difficulty. It was great. Then we would talk about our own recent states sometimes. Once, my dad said he was doing a duty that didn’t require any particular technical skills in his eyes, and was struggling with his motivation, that he always wanted to switch to a different duty. I was having the exact same experience at the time, so we fellowshiped with each other and shared some words from God. With a little time, through eating and drinking God’s words and seeking the truth, I saw I was being nitpicky about my duty. I wanted any duty that would make me look good, but otherwise I was sloppy in it. It was really selfish and didn’t show true faith. I came to despise myself and managed to get out of that state. But my dad was stuck, and just couldn’t get motivated to do his duty. I was confused. Since he’d been a believer for over a decade, he should have some stature. Why couldn’t he resolve that problem of picking and choosing his duty? I also realized that when I talked to my parents about my problems, they’d send me some words of God and share their view of things, but what they said didn’t actually help me. I started to get this vague sense that they didn’t really understand the truth like I’d imagined.

Later on, brothers and sisters fellowshiped about writing testimonial essays. I figured as long-time believers, my parents must have lots of experiences, especially my mom. She’d been oppressed by an antichrist and expelled from the church unfairly, but she kept spreading the gospel. After being taken back in, she put her all into whatever duty she had, and her duty changed several times, so she must have a wealth of experience. I figured she should write about them to testify to God. I started occasionally urging my mom to write an essay, but she kept shirking it, saying she wanted to, but she was too busy in her duty and couldn’t find a quiet moment. I was thinking that she really was busy with her duty, but that was no excuse. If she really had testimony to share, it wouldn’t take much time to write it out. Writing a testimony to God from her years of faith would be so meaningful! I kept on pushing her, but she never wrote anything. Once, she told me she couldn’t organize her thoughts when she tried to write it and didn’t know where to start, so wanted to discuss it with me. I was so happy. I really wanted to hear about all her experiences over the years. But I was really surprised that when she talked about what happened and the corruption she’d shown, she didn’t share any true understanding, but said lots of negative things, delimiting herself. Talking about her past experiences seemed really painful, as if she’d just submitted without a choice. I didn’t hear her talk about anything she gained from it. I felt really disappointed after our talk. I was thinking that if she really had gained anything, no matter how painful it was at the time, reading God’s words, seeking the truth and learning His will would bring real understanding of herself and of God, and that would bring true enjoyment in the end. But the way she talked about her past experiences still sounded really painful, and she had a perceptive, impractical understanding of herself. Didn’t that mean she lacked practical experience? It dawned on me—no wonder she was so reluctant to write a testimonial for God. Saying she didn’t have time was a cover. It was that she didn’t attain the truth or have any real gains, so she couldn’t write a testimonial. My dad was willing to try to write something but his essay was full of trivia, and there wasn’t much about his self-knowledge or what he’d gained. It didn’t match up with his years of faith. I remembered God saying, “Whether you can be saved does not depend on how great your seniority or how many years you have been working, and much less does it depend on how many credentials you have built up. Rather, it depends on whether your pursuit has borne fruit. You ought to know that those who are saved are the ‘trees’ that bear fruit, not the trees with lush foliage and abundant flowers that yet yield no fruit. Even if you have spent many years wandering the streets, what does that matter? Where is your testimony?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Practice (7)). That was a wake-up call for me. It’s true. No matter someone’s seniority, how much work or experiences under their belt, without any real gains from what they go through, without gaining the truth or bearing testimony, that means they lack life. That kind of person can never be saved. When this became clear to me, I can’t describe the feeling I had. My image of my parents as understanding the truth and having stature fell apart for the first time. I didn’t understand. After all those years of faith and so many sacrifices, why hadn’t they gained the truth? I couldn’t hold back, and had a secret crying session. I didn’t admire them as much after that, but I still thought that no matter what, after giving so much all those years, at least they had decent humanity and were true believers. If they could perform a duty well and start pursuing the truth, they could still be saved. But then some things happened that changed my view of them.

One day, I found out my dad had been removed from his duty because he was always careless and lazy, and wasn’t performing well. Soon after that, I found my mom had also been dismissed for having poor humanity, not upholding the church’s interests, and being too arrogant, and disruptive in her duty. I was shocked and could hardly believe it. How could that happen? Wasn’t not being able to do a duty basically being eliminated? They had poor humanity? Everyone who knew my parents before always said they had great humanity, otherwise how could they have given up so much? I was really in turmoil, and all sorts of worries kept coming to the surface. I wondered how they were doing, if they were in pain. I was feeling darker and more depressed all the time, and I knew this must have been done based on principles of the truth, that it was right, but I struggled to accept it. My parents went through so much, always on the run from the Communist Party, and we’d spent so much time apart over all those years. I hoped so much that we’d reunite in the kingdom after God completes His work. However, after going through so many ups and downs and doing so much work, how could they be dismissed so readily? I was getting more and more upset about it, and couldn’t help but burst into tears. For a few days, I was constantly sighing and didn’t have any energy for my duty. Whenever I thought about it, I’d feel so upset and just go limp all over. I suddenly lost all motivation for pursuit. I knew I wasn’t in a good state and I kept telling myself, “Mom and Dad were dismissed for a good reason. God is righteous.” But I just couldn’t accept it in my heart and was trying to reason with God. There were brothers and sisters who hadn’t made any real contribution to the church or done any significant duty who could keep their duty, so why couldn’t my mom and dad keep their duties? Whatever issues they had, even if they hadn’t contributed anything all those years, they’d tried hard, so couldn’t they get another chance, given all their suffering and the work they’d done? I knew I wasn’t in a good state, that I was being rigid and didn’t have any motivation to seek the truth. I came before God and prayed, “God, this is really hard for me. Please guide me and help me know Your will.”

Later, I asked a sister about how to deal with my state, and I couldn’t help but cry as I explained it all to her. She said to me, “Your parents had their duties taken away, but they weren’t expelled. Why are you so upset? You should see that God’s love is within this. This is God giving them a chance to repent.” It really opened my eyes when she said that. It was true. God has never said that taking away a duty means someone is eliminated. And some brothers and sisters only start to self-reflect, have regret, then truly change and repent after they’re dismissed. After that, they take on a duty again. Anyway, having a duty doesn’t mean you can be fully saved. If you don’t pursue the truth, you could still be exposed and eliminated by God. In fact, being dismissed was God giving my parents a chance to repent, but I thought it was the same as being eliminated. That’s not in line with the truth. Thinking about it that way made me feel a bit better, but I was still upset about it whenever I thought about it later. I always felt like the church was too hard on them.

Later I read two passages of God’s words: “When confronting real-life problems, how should you know and understand God’s authority and His sovereignty? When you are faced with these problems and do not know how to understand, handle, and experience them, what attitude should you adopt to demonstrate your intention to submit, your desire to submit, and the reality of your submission to God’s sovereignty and arrangements? First you must learn to wait; then you must learn to seek; then you must learn to submit. ‘Waiting’ means waiting for the time of God, awaiting the people, events, and things that He has arranged for you, waiting for His will to reveal itself gradually to you” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III). “The more you lack understanding in a certain matter, the more you should have a God-fearing and pious heart, and often come before God to seek God’s will and the truth. When you don’t understand things, you need God’s enlightenment and guidance. When you encounter things you do not understand, you need more of God’s work upon you, and this is God’s good intention. The more you come before God, the closer your heart is to God. And isn’t it true that the closer your heart is to God, the more God dwells in it? If God is in people’s hearts more, will their state, their pursuits, and condition get better or worse? It will definitely get better” (The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days). I felt a bit calmer after reading God’s words. God says the less you understand something, the more you should seek the truth with reverence for God so your state can keep improving. As for my parents being dismissed, I knew it had to be suitable for the church to do that and I shouldn’t complain. I was trying not to dwell on it, but I didn’t really resolve my misunderstandings or my distance from God. Whenever I thought about it, I still had this sense of hurt feelings. Then I got it that when we’re confused about something, we need to seek the truth, not follow the rules and rein ourselves in, and let things pass in a haze—problems aren’t solved that way. I didn’t actually know my parents very well. I just knew it looked like they gave up a lot and others said good things about them, but that’s really one-sided and narrow. I wanted to see what the brothers and sisters they’d been in contact with had to say about them, not just go by my own feelings. I started to look into specifics of my parents’ behaviors in their duties. When I read the others’ evaluations of them, I saw my dad was always careless and shirked anything difficult, and he wasn’t willing to put much into anything that meant paying a price. He had skills, but he’d always been passive in his duty without achieving much. His duty was changed several times, but he didn’t do any of them well. On gospel duty, he was still careless and shirking hard work. He didn’t get things done without the supervisor’s oversight. When brothers and sisters pointed out problems in his duty, he didn’t self-reflect, but made excuses, saying he was getting older and had health problems, and that duty didn’t play to his strengths, so it was normal that there were issues, and the others expected too much. He was dismissed when he never got good results in his duty. And my mom seemed really energetic and could pay a price, but that was superficial—she was just muddling through. She didn’t do practical work, which delayed the church work’s progress. She wasn’t reverent in how she handled the offerings, which led to lots of unnecessary waste and loss of offerings for God’s house. She did a lot of work, but there were so many problems and oversights. This brought great losses to God’s house. Some of those messes are still being cleaned up. And she was always covering her own back, protecting her own interests instead of those of God’s house. Sometimes when it was best for her to go deal with some urgent issues, she insisted on sending someone else, afraid of offending someone. That held up the work of God’s house. Brothers and sisters also said she was really arrogant and obstinate and used her experience as a crutch, doing whatever she wanted without discussing things with others. She was resistant to others’ suggestions, possessive over her own work, and lacked transparency. Brothers and sisters weren’t sure of the details of some things. And the moment someone did something she didn’t like, her temper would flare up and she’d scold people angrily. Others felt constrained by her, and it got so bad for one brother that he said to her, “Sister, I’m lacking caliber. Working with me must be such a burden for you, I’m sorry.” And some others said that if it weren’t for their duty, they’d never want to interact with someone like that. Her problems were that bad, but she wouldn’t accept it at all when others pointed them out. She was really biased and resistant to the sister who oversaw her work. She thought it was always other people being hard to get along with and unfair.

It was quite a shock. I just didn’t want to believe my parents were like that. Then I read a couple passages of God’s words. “Conscience and reason should both be components of a person’s humanity. These are both most fundamental and most important. What kind of person is one who lacks conscience and does not have the reason of normal humanity? Generally speaking, he is a person who lacks humanity, a person of extremely poor humanity. Going into more detail, what manifestations of lost humanity does this person exhibit? Have a go at analyzing what characteristics are found in such people and what specific manifestations they present. (They are selfish and mean.) Selfish and mean people are perfunctory in their actions and stand aloof from anything that does not concern them personally. They do not consider the interests of God’s house, nor do they show consideration for God’s will. They take on no burden of testifying for God or performing their duties, and they have no sense of responsibility.” “When a person has a good humanity, a true heart, conscience, and reason, these are not empty or vague things that cannot be seen or touched, but rather they are things that can be discovered anywhere in daily life; they are all things of reality. Say a person is great and perfect: Is that something you can see? You cannot see, touch, or even imagine what it is to be perfect or great. But if you say someone is selfish, can you see that person’s acts—and does he correspond to the description? If someone is said to be honest with a true heart, can you see this behavior? If someone is said to be deceitful, crooked, and base, can you see those things? Even if you close your eyes, you can sense whether the person’s humanity is inferior or superior through what he says and how he acts. Therefore, ‘good or bad humanity’ is not an empty phrase. For example, selfishness and baseness, crookedness and deceit, arrogance and self-righteousness are all things that you can grasp in life when you come into contact with a person; these are the negative elements of humanity. Thus, can the positive elements of humanity that people should possess—such as honesty and a love of the truth—be perceived in everyday life? Can you then see and distinguish whether a person possesses the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit, whether he can obtain God’s guidance, and whether or not the Holy Spirit works within him? How can these be discerned? (By what he lives out and the essence of his actions.) By what he lives out and the essence of his actions. What do these two things prove? They prove the quality of his humanity. When you come into contact with a person, what do you look at first? How can you determine what sort of person he is, whether he is a lover of the truth, whether he can accept it, and whether he can obtain it? Look first at the quality of his humanity. If a person’s mouth is full of sweet-sounding words, but he does nothing real—when it comes time to do something real, he only thinks of himself and never of others—then what kind of humanity is this? (Selfishness and baseness. He has no humanity.) Is it easy for a person without humanity to gain the truth? It is difficult for him. … Pay no attention to what such a person says; you must see what he lives out, what he reveals, and what his attitude is when he performs his duties, as well as what his internal state is and what he loves. If his love of his own fame and fortune exceeds his loyalty to God, if his love of his own fame and fortune exceeds the interests of God’s house, or if his love of his own fame and fortune exceeds the consideration he shows for God, then is such a person possessed of humanity? This is not someone with humanity. His behavior can be seen by others and by God. It is very difficult for such a person to gain the truth” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Give Your True Heart to God, and You Can Obtain the Truth). I saw from God’s words that to evaluate someone’s humanity, we have to see their attitude toward God’s commission and the truth. Those with good humanity love the truth and consider God’s will in their duty. They treat God’s commission responsibly, are trustworthy, and protect the church’s interests. Those with poor humanity are really selfish and vile, only thinking of their own interests. They muddle through their duty, they’re crafty, and are all talk, without getting real work done. They may even disregard the interests of God’s house and sell it out for their own gain. Looking at my parents’ behavior in light of God’s words, I saw they really weren’t the good people I thought they were. Just like my dad—he made superficial sacrifices, but he didn’t have a burden in his duty, instead being careless and shirking hard work. When there was a price to pay, he’d find lots of excuses to care for his flesh, not considering the church’s needs. In his duty he needed constant oversight and urging. He was really passive. As for my mom, though she was constantly busy, could suffer for her duty, and it seemed she got some work done, there weren’t any real outcomes from her duties, and she did them just for show. She seemed incredibly busy, but she was just looking for quick gains and doing things for her own name and status. Even when handling something as important as offerings, she lacked reverence for God and this caused great losses to God’s house. She did a lot of work, but the problems, oversights, and losses were greater. In things involving the church’s interests, she knew she was the best person for the job but insisted on someone else handling it. She didn’t protect the church’s interests in crucial matters, and wasn’t of one heart with God. I just saw she’d completed a lot of tasks and paid a big price, but I wasn’t looking at her motives or whether she’d really achieved anything, if she’d really contributed anything, or actually done more harm than good. I realized that evaluating someone’s humanity isn’t about surface-level sacrifices or effort, but it’s more about whether their motives are correct, if they’re really thinking of God’s house or doing things for their own name and status. People with good humanity may not understand the truth, but their hearts are in the right place and they follow their conscience. They stand with God’s house and consider its interests, which is why they can really achieve things. But those with poor humanity, no matter how much they suffer and toil, or how well they speak, they’re perfunctory in everything they do, just considering and planning for their own gain without truly thinking of God’s house. That’s why they have lots of oversights in their work and don’t really accomplish anything. Or maybe they can get some things done thanks to their gifts or experience, but over the long term, the losses outweigh the gains because their humanity and character are poor. They’re unreliable and don’t do real work. You never know when they might cause harm to God’s house. When I realized that, I became totally convinced that my parents lacked good humanity.

I’d always thought about how much they gave up, including a really comfortable life, doing their duty through nearly two decades of ups and downs, so even if they didn’t pursue the truth, at least they were true believers, good people. But there are so many people who can make a show of withstanding hardship, but the motivations and essence in that can vary. I didn’t see what was driving them to work so hard or whether they really achieved anything. I just looked at their surface-level efforts and thought they were true believers with good humanity. I was really superficial and foolish in my perspective. As believers all these years, we’ve suffered the Communist Party oppression and the pain of having our families torn apart, but we’ve enjoyed so much of God’s grace. God not only gives us so many truths, but He gives us abundant sustenance for what we need in life. Someone with a conscience and reason should do their utmost to perform their duty and repay God’s love. But after all those years of faith and learning so much doctrine, my parents still didn’t have the most basic responsibility toward their duties. They couldn’t even protect the church’s interests. Based on how they’d acted, taking away their duties was God’s righteousness. That wasn’t only good for the church’s work, but it was good for them. If failing and stumbling that way could help them reflect on themselves and turn toward God, change their attitude toward their duties, that would be salvation for them and a turning point in their path of faith. If they kept acting that way, without any self-reflection, repentance, or change, they really could be exposed and eliminated. I thought of something God said: “The amount an individual must suffer and the distance they must walk on their path is ordained by God, and that no one can really help anyone else” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Path … (6)). All I could do was point out the problems I saw and do my best to help them, but as for what path they chose, that wasn’t something I should worry about. I felt much brighter in my heart when I realized that. I stopped fretting and crying over them, but could approach it properly.

I read these two passages later: “You must know what kind of people I desire; those who are impure are not permitted to enter into the kingdom, those who are impure are not permitted to besmirch the holy ground. Though you may have done much work, and worked for many years, in the end if you are still deplorably filthy, then it will be intolerable to the law of Heaven that you wish to enter My kingdom! From the foundation of the world until today, never have I offered easy access to My kingdom to those who curry favor with Me. This is a heavenly rule, and no one can break it!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Success or Failure Depends on the Path That Man Walks). “I decide the destination of each person not on the basis of age, seniority, amount of suffering, and least of all, the degree to which they invite pity, but according to whether they possess the truth. There is no other choice but this. You must realize that all those who do not follow the will of God shall also be punished. This is an immutable fact” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Prepare Sufficient Good Deeds for Your Destination). These passages were really moving for me. God’s only standard for judging whether people can be saved is if they possess the truth and have transformed their dispositions. God has worked all these years and expressed so many truths, giving us such specific and detailed fellowship on the path of entering the truth and achieving salvation. As long as someone can love and accept the truth, there’s hope for attaining God’s salvation. But, if someone can only make superficial sacrifices even after years of faith, without practicing the truth or changing their disposition, they don’t accept the truth, but they hate the truth. For someone like that, no matter how much they sacrifice or how many years they work, or how important their duties have been, if they haven’t gained the truth or had any dispositional change in the end, but still rebel against and resist God, disrupting the church’s work, they can’t be saved. Those who do lots of evil will be punished by God, and that’s determined by God’s righteousness. Seeing that, I gained more clarity on how my parents got to that point. They’d given up their home and jobs, and worked hard, but they didn’t love the truth. They were perfunctory and willful in their duty, and didn’t reflect on themselves based on God’s words. When brothers and sisters mentioned their issues, they just made excuses, always thinking it was the other person’s problem, that they expected too much. This showed me that they hated the truth and wouldn’t accept it, which is why their dispositions hadn’t changed even after so many years of faith. Instead, as their time as believers and work record accrued, they got more and more arrogant. I could see from how they handled the truth that all their sacrifices weren’t to gain the truth and life, but they were made reluctantly, for blessings. Just like Paul, everything he did was to do a deal with God. He wasn’t a true believer who really expended himself for God. It became clear to me that whether someone pursues the truth, has good humanity, and can be saved has to be judged by their attitude toward the truth. Their superficial contributions, how much they’ve worked, what duties they’ve done are all immaterial. Some brothers and sisters may not make great contributions to the church, and their duties look insignificant, but they’re steadfast and put their whole heart into it. Someone whose focus in their duty is seeking the truth, reflecting on their corruption, having personal regret and practicing the truth, and making changes in their corrupt disposition is the sort of person who can stand firm in God’s house. The more I think about it, the more I see God’s righteousness. God’s standard for evaluating people has never changed. It’s just that I was looking at salvation as something having to do with luck. I thought God wouldn’t forsake those who’d made great sacrifices and worked hard even if they hadn’t contributed anything. But I really saw God’s righteousness in my parents’ case. God doesn’t judge people based on man’s emotions or notions, but He measures and looks at every person based on standards of the truth. Even people who’ve held important roles in the church are no exception.

I read a couple more passages later that were so enlightening and relieving for me. Almighty God says, “One day, when you understand some of the truth, you will no longer think that your mother is the best person, or that your parents are the best people. You will realize that they are also members of corrupt humankind, and that their corrupt dispositions are all the same. All that sets them apart is the physical blood relationship with you. If they don’t believe in God, then they are the same as the unbelievers. You will no longer look at them from the perspective of a family member, or from the perspective of your blood relationship, but from the side of truth. What are the main aspects you should look at? You should look at their views on belief in God, their views on the world, their views on handling matters, and most importantly, their attitudes toward God. If you look at these aspects accurately, you will be able to see clearly whether they are good or bad people. If one day you can see clearly that they are just like you, that they are people with corrupt dispositions, and even more so that they are not the kind-hearted people who have real love for you that you imagine them to be, and that they are unable to lead you to the truth or onto the right path in life at all, and if you can see clearly that what they have done for you is of no great benefit to you, and that it has no significance at all for you to take the right path in life, and if you also find that many of their practices and opinions are contrary to the truth, that they are of the flesh, and that this makes you despise them, and feel aversion and hatred toward them, then in light of these factors, you will be able to treat them correctly in your heart, and you will no longer miss, worry about, and be unable to separate from them. They have completed their mission as parents, and you will no longer treat them as the closest people to you or idolize them. Instead, you will treat them as ordinary people, and at that time, you will completely escape the bondage of emotions and truly emerge from your emotions and family affection.” “Many people endure a lot of meaningless emotional suffering. All of it is superfluous and useless suffering. Why do I say this? Because people are always constrained by their emotions, so they cannot practice the truth and obey God. Being constrained by one’s emotions is very detrimental to fulfilling one’s duties and following God, and it is also a great hindrance to life entry. Therefore, the suffering due to emotional constraints has no meaning, and God does not commemorate it. So how can you be rid of this meaningless suffering? You must understand the truth. Once you see and understand the essence of these fleshly relationships, you will easily escape the constraints of the flesh. … Satan uses family affection to constrain and bind people. If people don’t understand the truth, they will be easily deceived. People often pay the price and suffer, cry, and endure hardships for the sake of their parents and relatives. This is ignorance and foolishness. You are willing to suffer in this way, it is purely self-inflicted, worthless and futile to endure; it is not commemorated by God at all, and it can be said that it is nothing but pure suffering! On the day you understand the truth, you will be freed, and you will feel that you were ignorant and foolish as you suffered those hardships, and that it was no one’s fault but that of your own blindness, ignorance, lack of understanding of the truth, and lack of clarity in how you see matters” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only Resolving Your Corrupt Disposition Can Free You From a Negative State). Reading this was really emotional for me. God understands us so well! All my tears and my needless suffering were because I was too emotional and didn’t understand things. Before, I didn’t understand the truth or have discernment over my parents, but just thought they were great, really admirable, that they were my role models and I should try to be like them. I even thought they were people who could be saved, but when I looked at them in light of the truth and God’s words, I realized how incredibly wrong I was and finally had some discernment over what sort of people they really were. I saw many things in them that I not only didn’t admire, but I despised. I stopped adulating and looking up to them, and I wasn’t suffering or crying for them anymore. I became able to see them accurately and objectively.

Through this situation, I saw that I was too concerned with my feelings, and when I lived within worldly affections, I was just thinking about how much my parents might be suffering, and I couldn’t accept how God’s house handled things. I was resistant, and even felt like God wasn’t righteous. Then I realized why God hates human affection. It’s because it makes us confuse right and wrong, good and evil, and distances us from God. I didn’t know myself before. When brothers and sisters saw their relatives being fired or kicked out, and they were in tears for days, I looked down on them. I thought that if that ever happened to me, I wouldn’t be so weak. But when I actually was facing that same thing, I was much weaker than anyone else, and I pretty much fell apart. I didn’t just cry a few times, but I was depressed and it impacted my duty. I saw I was naive and foolish, also utterly unreasonable. Through this experience, I gained some understanding for those brothers and sisters who struggled to escape their worldly affections, and I gained some shame for my past ignorance and boasting. I also learned that there’s truth to seek in everything that happens. There’s always a chance to learn a lesson and develop discernment. We need to treat everyone around us, even our own parents, in accordance with God’s words and the truth. Then we won’t see them through our affection and imaginations, and do things to oppose God. Thank God!

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