Case Two: Resentment at Not Being Able to Go Abroad

When I was working in mainland China, there was a leader who thought he could go abroad with us, and was very happy about it. He thought, “I have finally made it. I can finally enjoy great blessings with god! Before, I suffered hardship with god. Today I have finally been rewarded. I deserve this. At the very least, I am a leader, and I have experienced much adversity, so when this good thing comes my way I should be able to take part in it—I should be able to enjoy this desirable thing.” This is what he thought. However, after spending a length of time with him in close proximity, I noticed that he was unprincipled in the things he said and did, he did not have good humanity, his intent and desire to be blessed was quite strong, and he sometimes needed to be pruned. After being pruned several times, he thought, “I’m done for this now. The above has seen right through me and they have not mentioned going abroad again. It looks like there is no hope of me going abroad.” He was constantly turning these things over in his heart. In fact, we could see he was not someone who pursued the truth, was fundamentally unsuited to go abroad, and that even if he went abroad he would not be able to do any work, so we did not talk about it with him. He felt he had no hope of going abroad, so he began to make other plans. One day he went out and never came back. He just left a letter which said, “I believed in god for so many years and did some work. Now, you are going abroad, but I am not suited to go with you. In the days which follow, I will spend time compensating for this. God detests me, so I will leave him. I will not make him look at someone he detests. I will hide away.” These words sounded like they made sense, and there was no big problem with them. Next, he said, “It has been this way ever since I was born. No matter who I’m with I just get used. I can suffer hardship with others, but not enjoy blessings with them.” What did he mean by this? (He thought he had been used by God.) That’s exactly what he meant. Especially when he said, “No matter who I’m with I can only ever suffer with them, I am unable to enjoy blessings with them,” what he meant was, “I have suffered so much hardship and shouldered so much risk along with you, yet when it’s time to enjoy blessings with you, you are not willing.” By saying these words he was complaining, and resentment had arisen in him as a result of this issue. With his mouth, he said, “God detests me. I will leave god. I will not make him feel detestation,” but in his heart he was actually resentful: “You’re going abroad to enjoy blessings and want to get rid of me!” Is this what actually happened? (No.) So what happened? He thought that we pruned him because we wanted to get rid of him, not because he didn’t pursue the truth or was unprincipled in what he said and did. He did not understand that he had a problem. Instead he thought, “I suffered hardship with you, so I should enjoy blessings with you. You absolutely must let me enter the kingdom and let me become one of the people of the kingdom. No matter what I do, you should never abandon me.” Isn’t this what he thought? (Yes.) What is the essence of this way of thinking? (It is the same essence as Paul when he tried to make a transaction with God in exchange for a crown.) That’s right, it is Paul’s essence. He believed in God, followed God, suffered hardship and paid a price in order to get a crown and be blessed. He did not have true faith, nor did he pursue the truth. He just tried to carry out transactions with God. If the deal failed, he was not blessed and he felt he got the short end of the stick, then he became furious, felt the whole thing was a lost cause and threw caution to the wind, and resentment arose in his heart. These are the things he displayed as he spoke. What did this person do next? Afterward, this person went to do business, and had several young ladies circling around him. Even though he didn’t say he didn’t believe in God, he did not do his duty and was not a follower of God. No one ever thought he would give up his chance to follow God and then go do business just because he was pruned a little. His furious demeanor and the way he manifested himself before were like two different people. This was his nature exposing itself. Before, he did not do this purely because the right situation did not present itself. This is one aspect. Another aspect is that he hid who he was, pretended that was not who he was, and restrained himself from doing it. If you are truly a good person, no matter what situation you encounter, you first must stand firm in your place and know who you are. Besides, can people who truly have some humanity do things and misdeeds which are devoid of humanity? (No.) They absolutely cannot. From this matter it is clear when people are unable to accept the truth it is the most rebellious thing, and they are in the most danger. If they are never able to accept the truth, then they are disbelievers. If the desire of a person such as this to be blessed is shattered, they will leave God. Why is this? (Because what they pursue is to be blessed and enjoy grace.) They believe in God but do not pursue the truth. To them, salvation is an ornament and a nice-sounding word. What their heart pursues is rewards, a crown, and desirable things—they want to get a hundred times this in this life, and want to get eternal life in the world to come. If they cannot get these things, then they will not believe; their true face will emerge, and they will leave God. What they believe in in their heart is not God’s work, nor is it the truths God expresses, and what they pursue is not salvation, let alone to do their duty as a created being well; rather, it is the same as Paul—to be richly blessed, hold great power, wear a large crown, and be on the same level as God. These are their ambitions and desires. Therefore, every time there is some benefit or desirable thing in God’s house, they fight to get hold of it, start ranking people according to their qualifications and seniority, and ruminate, “I am qualified. I should have a share of this. I must fight to get it.” They put themselves in a foremost place in God’s house, then think it is only fitting that they enjoy these benefits of God’s house. For example, in the matter of going abroad, that person’s first thought was that he should be able to take part, that the majority of people were not as good as him, had not suffered as much hardship as him, were not as qualified as him, had not believed in God for as many years as him, and had not been a leader for as long as him. He used every excuse and method of assessment to rank himself. No matter how he ranked people, he always put himself at the front, and in the ranks of those who were qualified. Finally, he felt it was only fitting that he should enjoy this treatment. The moment he did not get this, and the moment his fantasy of being blessed and gaining things in his interest was shattered, he would do something about it, become furious, reason with God rather than submit and seek the truth. It is clear that his heart was already filled with these things he pursued, and it is sufficient to show that the things he pursued are completely incompatible with the truth. No matter how much work he did, his goal and intent was none other than to get a crown—like Paul’s goal and intent was—and he clung to it tightly and never gave up. No matter how the truth was fellowshipped to him, no matter how he was pruned, exposed and dissected, he still stubbornly hung on to the intent to be blessed and would not let it go. When he did not receive God’s approval and saw that his desire to be blessed was shattered, he became negative and retreated, abandoned his duty and ran away. He had not truly fulfilled his duty or rendered good service in spreading the gospel of the kingdom, and this fully reveals that he did not have true faith in God, did not truly submit, and did not have an ounce of true experiential testimony—he was just a wolf in sheep’s clothing that lurked in a herd of sheep. Ultimately, a person who was a disbeliever to the bone was thoroughly revealed and eliminated, and his life as a believer came to an end. This is one case.

This was not an isolated case. This was not the only person who stumbled and was revealed by the matter of going abroad. The example we just gave was about a man, but there was another who was a woman. Initially the plan was also to let this woman come along with us abroad. When this happened, she was very happy inside, and began to plan and prepare for the matter, but in the end, due to various reasons she was unable to go. At the time, she was not informed because the situation was too dangerous. At a meeting for co-workers one time, she found out about this decision. Analyze this: What might the result be when this woman found out? (If a person had the thinking of a normal person, they wouldn’t likely have a very big reaction after finding out. They would consider that it was because the situation was dangerous that they couldn’t go abroad, and they would be able to handle the matter correctly. However, if this woman found out, she may have become furious and tried to reason with God.) That’s right, you have somewhat grasped the character of people of this kind. This is how people of this kind are—regardless of what the matter is, they will not take the short end of the stick, but rather take advantage. In everything, they must exceed everyone else, and be better than everyone else. In everything, they must be the best; they must get every desirable thing, and it is unacceptable for them to not have a share in something. After the woman found out about this matter, she got angry at the moment and rolled around on the ground throwing a tantrum. Her demonic side was on display, and she lectured her co-workers and unleashed her anger at them. Where did her anger come from? It appeared as though she was angry at the brothers and sisters, but who was she actually angry at? (She was angry at God.) This is what was going on. Then what was the cause of her anger? Where was its root? (Because her desires were not satisfied.) It is that she did not obtain a desirable thing, and her goal was not achieved. She was not successful in getting an advantage this time; rather, other people got the advantage and she was not able to take part, so she was furious; she could not pretend any longer; she vented and released all of her heart’s discontent and resentment. In the past, she always had to be the first to know what the Above were doing. She always wanted to have contact with the Above, and did not interact with brothers and sisters. She always treated herself as a high-class personage, not an average member, so she thought she should go abroad too this time—if no one else should, she should. She was the primary candidate, and she should have the pleasure of being treated in this manner. This was what her heart truly thought. Now, she saw she would not have the pleasure of being treated in this manner, all the hardship she suffered these years was all for nothing; she had nothing of the status she painstakingly managed and the treatment she wanted. In this instant all these things disintegrated into nothing. Unbelievably, she could not swindle a desirable thing of such magnitude; unbelievably, she was dropped, so she thought she did not occupy a high place in God’s heart, and was an average person. The line of defense in her heart had completely collapsed, and she did not pretend anymore and did not conceal things. She began to throw a tantrum, yell at people, vent, get angry, and expose what was natural to her, without caring about what others said or how they saw it. Afterward, she was sent to a group to do a duty. While she was doing her duty she did many bad things, and the brothers and sisters in the group finally wrote a letter together demanding she be expelled. What was the cause of her being expelled? Brothers and sisters relayed that the evil she did could be described in one phrase: so much it could not all be written down! In other words, she did too much evil, and the nature of what she did was too severe—it could not be conveyed clearly in just one or two sentences, nor could it be recounted in just one or two stories. She did countless evil things and it angered people, so the church expelled her. These evil things she did were not done before the issue of going abroad arose, so why was she capable of doing these things after it arose? Because the issue of going abroad did not turn out as she wished. It is clear that the evil things she did and the ugliness she revealed were a sort of revenge and venting caused purely because she did not get this desirable thing. Tell Me, when a person who truly pursues the truth and who has humanity encounters a situation like this, even if they do not understand many truths, are they capable of giving rise to these manifestations? Are they capable of revealing these things? Anyone who has a bit of humanity, a bit of a conscience, and a bit of a sense of shame will not do these things, but restrain themselves. Although their heart is not happy, is dissatisfied, and it is a bit hurt, they think about how they are just an average person, that they should not fight to get this thing, that those who believe in God should pursue the truth, submit to God’s orchestrations in everything, that they should not have any choice, and that people are created beings and are not impressive in any way. They will be unhappy for a couple days, but then it will be water under the bridge. They will still believe as they should, and will not do evil or get revenge on account of this matter, nor will they vent on account of this matter. By contrast, people who do not pursue the truth and whose character is abysmal are capable of displaying all these evil deeds which they never have before just on account of one small matter. This explains the problem. It explains the humanity essence of people of this kind, and explains the true pursuits of people of this kind, namely that their true face is thrown completely into the light through the revelation of this issue. Firstly, their essence is thoroughly that of an antichrist. Secondly, they have never pursued the truth, nor have they ever treated themselves as the object of salvation and submitted to God’s orchestrations and arrangements. They do not pursue submission to God; they pursue only status and enjoyment; they pursue only good treatment, and pursue only to be on the same level as God. Whatever God enjoys, they enjoy too. This way, they are not following God for nothing. These are the things they pursue. This is the nature essence of people of this kind; it is their true face, and the inner landscape of their hearts. This issue brought an end to twenty years of faith for this woman—it all went down the drain.

Tell Me, where should these two people be now? In the church or somewhere else? (In the world of nonbelievers.) Why do you say that? How did you decide this? What are your words based on? (Because they are disbelievers, and their belief in God is not for the purpose of pursuing doing their duties as created beings. In the end, people like this cannot stand firm in their faith, and can only return to the world.) In the end, they cannot stand firm in their faith, but it is not the end yet, so how come they have disappeared? You must look at what they were thinking inside. They could only do things like this, and make choices like this when some activity was going on in their hearts. In what way did they analyze and assess this matter that made them choose a path like this? Inside their hearts, they thought, “I have believed in god for all these years and suffered much hardship. I have always longed for the day when I can make a name for myself. By being with the above, I can make a name for myself and show my face. Now I finally have a chance to go abroad. This is huge! This is something I never dared think of before I believed in god. This is the same as getting a crown by believing in God, but it turns out that I will not be part of such a big desirable thing. I am not able to get it. Before, I thought I had a definite place in god’s heart, but now I see that is not the case. It seems like I cannot get any desirable thing from following god. They didn’t think of me when it came to a big thing like going abroad, so isn’t there even less chance of me getting a crown in the future? It’s not certain who will get it, and it looks like there is no hope of it being me.” Were they still willing to follow God when they thought there was no hope? What was their purpose in suffering hardship and paying a price before? It was only on account of that bit of hope, on account of those little ideas they held in their hearts that they acted that way and manifested themselves in that way. Now that their hopes are shattered and their ideas are for naught, can they continue believing? Can they continue being content to stay in God’s house and do their duty? Can they be willing to gain nothing and submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements? The ambitions and desires of antichrists are so big that they absolutely will not be willing for their efforts and the price they paid to have this result. What they dream of is for the price they pay and their efforts to get them a crown and desirable things in exchange, that no matter what desirable thing God’s house has, they should get a share—it’s fine if other people don’t, but they must. Can people with such strong ambitions and greed do their duty without getting anything in return, and put in effort without getting anything in return? They absolutely cannot accomplish this. Some people say, “Let them pursue the truth. Once they have listened to many truths, won’t they be able to accomplish it?” There are other people who say, “If God chastises and judges them, won’t it change them?” Is this the case? God does not chastise and judge people like this, and does not save people like this. These are exactly the sort of people He will eliminate. What is different about what I said compared to what you said just now? Is what you said the true activity of their hearts? Is it the manifestation of the essence of people of this kind? (No.) Then what is it you said? (Feelings and empty theories.) The nature of what you said leans a bit toward analysis and assessment, and is assessing and defining them on the basis of theory. It is not their true thoughts and revelations, nor is it their true views. This is a manifestation of people of this kind who have the essence of an antichrist. If there is a desirable thing they did not get, a benefit they did not enjoy, or an advantage they did not get, they are furious, lose their faith in believing in God and pursuing the truth, are unwilling to believe in God, want to run away, and want to do bad things. They do bad things in order to vent and get revenge—vent their misunderstandings about God and their resentment for God. Should these people be handled? Should they be permitted to continue doing their duty in the church? (No.) Then how should these people be handled? (They should be expelled.) Is there anyone who stopped believing because they could not go abroad? (Yes.) What are these sorts of people? (Disbelievers. They only believe in God in order to pursue being blessed, and when their ambitions and desires are not satisfied they betray God.) They are able to stop believing in God on account of a little thing like this. People like this cannot be said to have true belief or false belief—their character is so low!

Case Three: Finding It Impossible to Go on Living After Returning Home to the Countryside

Some people are born in the countryside and their families do not have a lot of money to live on. The items they use in their daily life are simple, and aside from a hard bed, a closet and a desk, there is no other furniture in their house. Their floor is made of brick or earth—they do not even have concrete floors. Theirs are very humble circumstances. After coming to believe in God, they do their duty of spreading the gospel, and go to some wealthy areas. There was a woman such as this who looked around and saw that the majority of brothers and sisters had either hardwood floors or tile floors in their homes; the walls had wallpaper on them; their houses were very clean, and they could bathe every day. They also had a lot of furniture in their houses: television stands and big closets, as well as couches and air conditioning. Their bedrooms had Simmons beds, and their kitchens had every sort of appliance: refrigerators, microwaves, ovens, stoves, range hoods, etc. It was a dizzying sight. Apart from this, in big cities such as this, there were some places where she could take an elevator to go up and down between floors. This place opened her eyes, and after working and spreading the gospel there for a while she did not want to go back. Why was this? She thought, “My family’s earthen house doesn’t hold a candle to this place in any way. We all believe in god, so how come these people live so much better than my family? These people’s lives are like heaven. My family lives in a pig pen—it is so much worse than these people!” After making this comparison, she felt upset, felt even more attached to this place and even less like going back. She thought, “If I can work here long term, then I won’t have to go home, will I? That earthen hole is not fit for humans to stay in.” She stayed in the big city for a period of time and learned to eat, dress, and enjoy life like the city folk did, and learned to live like the city folk did. She felt life was so good during those days. It was good to have money. Being poor gave people no future. Poor people were just looked down on by others, and they even looked down on themselves. The more she thought about it, the less she wanted to go back, but there was nothing she could do—she had to go home. After getting home, she felt a mixture of different feelings in her heart and it was very hard to take. As soon as she went inside the house she saw that the floor was earth, and when she sat on the hearth bed it felt so hard and uncomfortable. When she touched the walls her hand was covered in dirt. When she mentioned something tasty she wanted to eat no one understood the names, and there were no facilities for her to bathe herself when she wanted to wash before bed. She thought living like this was too lowly, and she held a grudge against her parents for being so poor they couldn’t afford anything she wanted, and always lost her temper with them. Ever since getting back, it was like she had become a different person. She looked with a disapproving eye at her family members, and looked with a disapproving eye at everything in her home, thinking it was so hick she could not live there anymore, and that if she were to continue living there she would die from the injustice of it all. Leaving home had opened her eyes, but it had become a bad thing, making her parents very angry with her. At that point, an idea came into her head: “If my parents didn’t believe in god, and if I didn’t believe in god, then our lives would definitely be better than now. Even if we couldn’t sleep on Simmons beds, we could at least eat better, and we could put tiles on the floor.” She thought this was a result of believing in God, that believing in God meant one must be poor, that one could not have a good life if one believed in God, and that one could not eat good things or wear nice clothes. From then on, this outstanding heroic woman who had accomplished something in several provinces could not drag herself to her feet and felt sleepy all day. She struggled to get up in the morning, and the first thing she did was get ready and put on makeup, then put on clothes that people in the city often wear. Then she scowled and mulled over when she could be rid of this provincial life and live the way people did in the city. The sermons she used to preach and the resolve she had were all gone—she had forgotten all of it. She didn’t even know if she was a believer. This was how fast she changed. Because her eyes were opened a bit and her living environment and quality of life changed, she was revealed.

Before, this woman went all over the place preaching and doing work. She had strong resolve and great strength, but these were just on the outside. Even she didn’t know what she pursued deep inside, what she liked, and what sort of person she was. One experience of going to the city had changed the state of her life to its core, and one length of time experiencing an affluent lifestyle had completely changed the direction of her life. What exactly was the reason? Who changed her? It couldn’t be God, could it? Of course not. Then what was the reason? It was because the environment had revealed her, revealed her nature essence, and revealed her pursuits and the path she was on. What path was she on? It was not the path of pursuing the truth, nor was it Peter’s path, nor was it the path of those who are saved and perfected, nor was it the path of seeking to fulfill the duty of a created being; rather, it was the path of an antichrist. Specifically, the path of an antichrist is that of pursuing reputation, pursuing status, and pursuing material pleasures. This is the essence of people like this. If these weren’t the things she pursued, and she was a person who pursued the truth, then a small change in the environment like this would absolutely not reveal her. At most, her heart would be a bit weak, she would feel a bit upset, and it would feel a bit painful for her, or she would have some foolish manifestations, but not to the point of being revealed in such a stark fashion. What is the essence of the pursuits of people like this? They pursue the same things as nonbelievers, and the same things as any person in this world who pursues fame, gain and evil trends. They like the fashionable get-ups of nonbelievers, like how nonbelievers follow evil trends, and even more do they like nonbelievers’ obsession with having an extravagant lifestyle of the flesh. Therefore, with one change in her environment, this woman’s view on life and her attitude toward this world and toward life completely changed. She thought that believing in God and pursuing the truth was not the most important, and that when people are alive in this world, they should enjoy the flesh and enjoy life, should pursue trends, and should be like the charismatic and dashing figures in society who make heads turn as they walk by, make others envious, and make people idolize them. There are some people who, after encountering more environments, encountering all sorts of people, and having their eyes opened, because they pursue the truth and because they understand God’s intentions, are more able to see through these evil trends and through humankind. Their hearts are more able to detest the path worldly people are on, as well as discern it and completely abandon it in pursuit of walking the path God guides them down. As for those people who do not pursue the truth and who have the essence of an antichrist, as soon as their eyes are opened and they encounter different environments, their ambitions and desires do not just fail to diminish, but rather grow and get bigger. After their ambitions and desires get bigger, these people envy even more the lives of those people in the world who enjoy good things and have money and influence, and they develop disdain for the lives of believers deep in their hearts. They think that the majority of believers do not pursue the world, have no money, no status, no influence and have not seen much of the world, that they are not as charismatic as nonbelievers, do not understand how to enjoy life as well as nonbelievers and do not show off as much as nonbelievers. As a result, opposition and antagonism toward believing in God grows deep in their hearts. Therefore, for many people with the essence of an antichrist, from when they started to believe in God until now, one can’t tell whether they are actually someone with the essence of an antichrist, but one day when the right environment comes along it will reveal them. Before, when the people who were revealed had not yet been revealed, they also followed the rules and did as they should. Whatever God’s house asked them to do they did it, and they were able to endure suffering and pay a price. They appeared to be dutiful, to be people who were on the right path, and to have the likeness and bearing of people who believed in God. However, no matter what they did outwardly, their essence and the path they were on did not stand the test of time, or the trial of different environments. No matter how many years a person believes in God, and no matter how strong a foundation there is to a person’s belief, if they have the essence of an antichrist and are on the path of an antichrist, then they will necessarily pursue material pleasures, pursue an extravagant lifestyle, pursue rich material treatment and moreover, will pursue every sort of desirable thing, while at the same time envying the attitude and approach worldly people have toward living. This is for sure. Therefore, although everyone is now listening to sermons, eating and drinking the words of God and doing their duties, people who do these things but do not pursue the truth will necessarily pursue material things. These things will take priority in their hearts, and as soon as the right environment or circumstance comes along, their desires will grow and come into play. As soon as it gets to this point, that is when they will be revealed. If people do not pursue the truth, sooner or later this day will come for them. As for people who pursue the truth, understand the truth, and for whom truth is their foundation, when these temptations and environments come, they are able to approach them correctly, reject them and stand firm in their testimony to God. When these temptations come, they are also able to discern what is positive and what is negative, and know whether it is something they want. It is just like how some women are not interested in men who pursue them no matter how much money the men have. Why aren’t they interested? Because the men don’t have good character. Some women do not look for a partner because there are no rich men who pursue them. If a man with money pursued them and bought them a designer dress that cost 20,000 yuan, they would be attracted, and if he then bought them a mink coat worth 100,000 yuan, or a large diamond, a beautiful big house and a car, they would immediately be willing to marry him. So, when these women used to say they would not get married, was this true or false? It was a lie. Therefore, there are many people who say they do not pursue the world and do not pursue the prospects and pleasures of the world, but that is when there are no temptations put in front of them; the environment isn’t conducive to it. As soon as a conducive environment comes along, they will fall deep into it and be unable to extract themselves. It’s just like the example we just gave. The woman did not extract herself from the situation. After enjoying city life for a while, she didn’t know who she was and lost her way. If she was placed in a palace, then should she have her parents kill themselves as soon as possible so as not to tarnish her name? People like this are capable of doing any sort of stupid thing for the sake of their enjoyment, reputation, extravagant lifestyle and high quality of life. They are worthless and have base characters. Have people like this ever pursued the truth? (No.) Then where did the sermons she preached come from? Did she have sermons to preach? What she preached was not sermons, but doctrine. She was putting on a show and misleading people, not preaching sermons. She preached so many sermons, so how come she could not even solve her own problems? Did she know she could get to this point? Did she see things clearly? She preached so many sermons, yet after enjoying life in the city for a while she could not overcome temptations like these, and could not stand firm in her testimony. So was what she preached sermons? It is obvious they were not. This is the third case.