203 Reflections of a People-Pleaser
1 I received a satanic education from an early age, and the philosophies of Satan were my creed. I walked the middle way, taking pains not to offend anyone. I had a smile on my face when dealing with people, my manner ever warm, yet no one could tell my inner thoughts. I saw through to things, but never spoke of them; though the words were on my lips, I chose silence. “Sensible people protect themselves” had become my principle for dealing with people in the world. Between righteousness and my own interests, I couldn’t help but choose the latter. People called me “nice,” but I couldn’t rid myself of the guilt in my heart.
2 After years of belief in God, I still performed my duty according to my own philosophy for living. I saw the harm being done to the church’s interests, but I didn’t dare abide by the principles. I shielded the wicked to protect myself, offending God’s disposition. Loathed by God, I was plunged into darkness, where I writhed in agony. Each word of God’s judgment beat against my conscience. Only through their harsh revelation did I see my satanic nature clearly. I was selfish and mean, a hypocrite, liable to betray God at any time. Truly, I was a puppet of Satan, one without a sense of righteousness, who hurt myself and others.
3 After experiencing judgment, I finally saw my essence: I was a people-pleaser. I was slippery and deceitful, and had no reverence for God. I was capable of evil and resisting God. I loathed myself for having transgressed so much that it would be hard to put right. I hated myself more, and longed to repent as soon as I could. God’s essence is trustworthy and righteous. He loves those who are honest. I wish to turn my back on Satan and love God with all my heart. I will be an honest person, seeking the truth in all things and living by God’s words. To be honest, to be openhearted, to know what to love and what to hate—this is most blessed by God. Honest people are the true likeness of man; they shall live forever in light.