230 All Is in Vain Away From God’s Words
1 I ponder God’s words and earnestly reflect on myself. God has elevated me to perform a duty so that I may have a chance to train myself. But I’ve used this chance to show off. When my work bears a little fruit, I even change the way I walk and talk. I profess to give all glory to God but keep count of my own contributions. I always believe in my gifts but don’t genuinely pray to God. Not seeking the truth in all things, I hit wall after wall. I have only seen how pathetic and in need I am after falling into darkness. Oh, God! Now, at last, I know that I can do nothing without You.
2 I never knew the importance of principles in handling matters. I always felt that gifts were sufficient to do anything well. Now, at last, I have experienced that away from God’s words, all is in vain. Relying on gifts in work without seeking the truth is certain to fail. Without submission to God and love for Him, the performance of duty is futile. I went against my conscience and stole glory from God, truly without shame—I even showed off and paraded myself. How is that a heart of reverence for God? Not pursuing the truth, insisting on my own way—how could I not stumble? Oh, God! Your judgment has brought me to know Your righteous disposition.
3 Though I am so rebellious, God still enlightens and guides me. Seeing God’s love and mercy, I feel greater regret and indebtedness. I am so paltry and lowly, just a speck of dust. If I can perform the duty of a created being, I ought to exert my utmost to do so, to repay God. I hate that in the past I performed my duty without seeking the truth. I lost so many chances to be perfected, which truly wounded God’s heart. Only after being steeped in bitterness did I learn what a treasure the truth is. Only after being pruned and dealt with by God did I learn how deeply corrupted I am. I am willing to give my all to pursue the truth, accept God’s judgment, and be cleansed. I’ll offer up all of myself to fulfill my duty to comfort God’s heart.