231 Without Pursuing the Truth, Failure Is Certain

1 Though I attended meetings and read God’s words, I paid no attention to practicing the truth. When I could perform some duties, I thought I possessed the reality of the truth. I prayed to God but had no real communion with Him. I thought I had accrued some merit by achieving some results in my duties. I was so pleased with myself and thought God would surely reward me. As I experienced the judgment and chastisement of God’s words, I woke all at once. I believed in God for many years without knowing Him, and I still made deals with Him. Finally, I saw that without pursuing the truth, there was no way for my corruption to be cleansed away.

2 All God’s expression of the truth is for the sake of cleansing and saving man, but I didn’t understand His good intention at all. I used the opportunity to do my duty to pursue status and reputation. In work or sermons, I often boasted emptily and made a show of myself. I also regarded the ability to preach spiritual theory as the same as having the reality of the truth. I relied on my mere fervor to do work but didn’t practice the truth—I did things my own way. I was hypocritical like the Pharisees, but I thought I was spiritual. Without God’s judgment I don’t know how far I would have sunk.

3 After God’s repeated judgment and trials, I have finally come to understand that working with fervor but without pursuing the truth is all vain toil. I was filled with deceit in speech and action and not an honest person. No matter how much good behavior I have done, it isn’t the same as a change in my disposition. Without reverence or obedience toward God, I will still resist Him. God’s kingdom is holy—how could it allow corrupt people to enter? Hypocrisy cannot cover the truth of resisting God. Without the reality of the truth, I do not deserve to live in God’s presence. I steel my resolve to pursue the truth and the life in order to satisfy God’s will.

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