253 God Has Waited So Long
Who can tell how long You have waited for man to turn back to You? And who can tell how much of a painstaking price You have paid for man? Who can tell how vast Your mercy is? And who can appreciate how beautiful and good Your heart is?
1 I believed in You for so many years but never pursued the truth. Though I appeared to follow You, my heart was not Yours. I always cheated You in prayers, I praised You only in word. I was so pleased with myself for doing a little work, I took all the glory upon myself. I stood before You yet never knew You, and I never knew what truth or life was. I cared only about equipping myself with doctrines, and never practiced or experienced Your words. Understanding a smattering of letters and doctrines, I thought I was so great.
2 Your love came to me quietly, You reprimanded, disciplined, pruned me and dealt with me. The judgment of Your words uncovered the mask of my hypocrisy. I did not suffer and expend myself to repay Your love, but only for my end, my final destination. I saw how utterly corrupt I was, so deceitful and deplorable. When I was exposed in a trial, I misunderstood You, and I wept and despaired in pain. I’d never appreciated Your good intentions. I was without conscience and reason. Being so rebellious, how could I be worthy to be called human?
3 Your love was like a warm current that melted my hardened heart. Though trials and refinement were painful, they were meant to cleanse my corruption. Now that I understand Your will, my heart turns back and I shed tears of regret. I hate myself for being so rebellious and ignorant, and for not heeding Your will. But You are always watching and waiting, doing Your utmost to save me. Your heart is so beautiful and good, I wish to pursue the truth and enter into reality. I am resolved to conduct myself like a human, and to do my duty to comfort Your heart.
I have seen how amiable and lovely You are. Only You are worthy of man’s love. I won’t make You wait any longer, I will dedicate my true heart to You. I ask only that my heart love You, so that I will have no more regrets. I ask only that my heart love You, and that I can be compatible with You.