233 Cherish the Last Moments
1 All these years of believing in God have passed in the blink of an eye. Seeing that His work is about to come to a close, I now reflect on whether I’ve gained the truth and life. I am at a loss; I don’t know how I can give an account to God. So many times, in reading God’s words, I have merely gone through the motions without carefully pondering them; so many times, after being pruned and dealt with, I have failed to seek the truth; after so many years of sacrifice and expending myself, I thought I was being faithful to God. Carefully dissecting my motives, I can see that it’s all been about seeking name and status for myself. God has uttered so many words, yet I’ve hardly understood any truths; I have faced so many trials, and so much refinement, yet my disposition has not changed. Now that God is about to depart, my numb heart is suddenly awake. Due to not pursuing the truth, I have lost so many chances to be perfected.
2 God is going to return to Zion, and great disasters will befall. Still fretting over our immaturity in life, He earnestly exhorts us to waste no time in pursuing the truth. Over and over, His judgment and chastisement shake my numb heart awake. I shed tears upon seeing all of God’s heartfelt words; to save mankind, He has paid such a great price. If I truly possessed reason and conscience, then how could I rebel again and wound God? If I continued not to pursue the truth, I would be lacking in humanity and unworthy of living. God’s disposition is righteous and holy, and will not tolerate mankind’s offenses. Unless my corrupt disposition is cleansed and transformed, how can I be saved? I am left with so many regrets from things past; my heart is filled with remorse. I’ll cherish these last moments, and pursue the truth to live out a human likeness and bring satisfaction to God.