194 Finding Purification in God’s Words
1 For years I believed in the Lord and behaved well, thinking that I had repented and changed. I did a little work, and then asked for God’s blessings; I thought that was only right and proper. I preached only theological knowledge and theories, and thought I possessed the truth. Only after being judged and chastised by God’s words did I see the light. I had not had the slightest understanding of the truth and the life; all I had wanted was to gain the blessings of the kingdom of heaven in return for working, suffering, and paying the price. I had never put into practice or experienced the Lord’s words, yet still I wished to win His praise. Now, however, I realize that I had been blinded by my notions and imaginings, and were it not for God’s judgment and salvation, I would still be living in darkness.
2 All of Almighty God’s words are the truth, and speak to the depths of my heart. His judgments and revelations are all true; I have nowhere to hide my face in shame. My nature is one of greed and selfishness; I only believed in the Lord in order to obtain rewards. I spoke of how I loved Him, but deep down, my love was for the world and fleshly enjoyment. Though I appeared to conduct myself well, my heart was full of satanic dispositions. I only worked and preached for the sake of position, and did not have any reverence for God. In my every word and deed, I was but performing religious rites that had nothing to do with the truth. I was so corrupt; how could I have been worthy to enter the kingdom of heaven without first being judged and purified? I now realize that God’s judgment and chastisement are my salvation.
3 God rules over everything and orchestrates all environments. Every day there is much to learn. I quiet my heart before God and read His words, living constantly in His presence. While performing my duty and putting His words into practice, I see that I lack so much. Reflecting upon my corruption, I see that I am not living out normal humanity. By being judged, put through trials, pruned and dealt with, I taste of God’s love. I bring His words into real life, and seek the truth in all things. In my practical experiences, I see that every word of God is the truth; in conducting myself by them, my corrupt dispositions are gradually purified. By revering God and shunning evil, I live before Him.