God’s Words Gave Me Faith in Hard Times
By Zheng Lan, China
At the time, several sisters were sentenced to “reeducation through labor” with me. We had to work overtime every day, at least 13 hours a day. If the guards weren’t satisfied, they used electric batons to electrocute us, or punched and kicked us. We spent every day in a state of high anxiety, and we had to take brainwashing classes and write ideological reports. That long-term torment was honestly miserable, and I deeply yearned for the supply of God’s word. During that period, we could only rely on fragments ofand hymns that we remembered to support and help each other. I remember once, the deputy chief guard told me that if I worked hard, my sentence would be reduced by a month. And frankly, I didn’t want to be at that labor camp for a single day. So, I worked desperately. I rarely drank water, because I was afraid that bathroom breaks would waste time. I did manual labor that required holding tweezers every day, and over time, this thumb started to hurt badly, but all I could do was take some painkillers. But no matter how hard I worked, my name never appeared on the reduction list. Later, I got tenosynovitis in my hand, and I couldn’t even wash my own clothes. Also, coupled with the fact that living conditions at the labor camp were very bad, I got enteritis and rheumatism. Despite this, I still had to work. If I worked less, I would be scolded, and my sentence wouldn’t be reduced. I was honestly miserable there. Later, my sisters learned that I was sick, and they found ways to help and support me. I remember once, when no one was watching, Sister Li quietly recited a passage of God’s word for me. “Everything, from the surrounding environment to people, affairs, and things, all exist by permission of God’s throne. Do not on any account let grievances arise in your heart, or God will not bestow His grace upon you. When sickness befalls, this is God’s love, and surely His kind intentions are harbored within. Though your body may undergo a bit of suffering, entertain no ideas from Satan” (“Chapter 6” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning in ). God’s words were like an awakening. It’s true, God had allowed me to become sick. Living in misery and depression due to my illness wasn’t obedience to God in the slightest. I reflected on how hard I had worked during this period, and how all I wanted to do was leave this environment, but actually, I was arrested and put here with God’s permission, so I should experience it. God had the final say over when I could leave, but I always had plans and requirements of my own, which allowed me to be used and toyed with by Satan. The great red dragon always uses these kinds of lies to deceive and harm people. How could I have let myself believe its lies? Once I realized these things, I no longer tried to do things my own way, I let go of my own plans and requirements, and left it to God to decide when I got out.
It was because at that time, we could remember so little of God’s word, and after so long in such a painful and depressing environment without a supply of God’s word, I felt especially miserable and weak. I often thought of how, before I was arrested, I could read God’s words at any time, understand the truth from God’s word, find a way to practice, and find light and release in my heart. But in that prison, I was not only cut off from God’s word, I also faced all kinds of torment, and I didn’t know how I would endure those three years in prison. At that time, my sisters were all in the same state. I remember one night, just after we finished our work, a sister quietly told me, “Being here is too difficult, and I don’t know how to experience it. It would be wonderful if I could read God’s word! I really regret that I didn’t read more of God’s words before. I wish I had memorized even one more paragraph.” I felt the same way, and I began to think it would be wonderful if I could read God’s word again. At the time, several of my sisters were in poor health. One had high blood pressure and couldn’t even walk without difficulty, one had a serious heart disease, and Sister Zhao, who had serious diabetes, still had to work every day. At the time, I especially hoped everyone could have God’s word, because only God’s word can give people confidence and strength and lead us through difficulties. One night, as I prayed in bed, it suddenly occurred to me that there were two sisters who worked in the visitation room. They often had contact with people from outside, and they very likely had God’s word. However, I didn’t know how to contact them. Unexpectedly, shortly after, God opened a way for me.
One day, the chief of the guards came to talk to me to ask if I wanted to be a “caretaker.” Caretakers serve the guards. Things like washing their clothes, cooking, cleaning their rooms, and any other dirty work are done by caretakers. So at first, I didn’t want to do it, because it would be more tiring than my workshop duties. Especially when serving the guards, you will be scolded if you don’t do it well. Once, one of my sisters saw I was in a bad mood and talked about it with me. She said, “God’s good intentions are in everything, so you should seek God’s will.” When I heard her say that, I thought, “That’s right. Why am I only considering my own feelings and not seeking God’s will? As a caretaker, I can go and work outside, which would give me the chance to meet the sisters in the visitation room. Isn’t this a path God has opened up for me? As a caretaker I can also come and go freely. I can provide cover for my sisters when they fellowship in the cell, and I can cope with the guards if any situations come up. Isn’t this a good thing?” Also, among over 200 prisoners in my unit, only four could be chosen as caretakers. This was a rare opportunity, and a wonderful arrangement by God.
But even before I made contact with the two sisters in the visitation room, one of us received the word of God. One night, when I had just lain down, a young sister knelt down and whispered into my ear that the brothers and sisters outside had sent a letter for us, which she put in the workshop. That night, I was so happy I couldn’t fall asleep. The next morning, when I arrived at the workshop, the young sister secretly took out the letter. The paper was about this wide. When I saw the first sentence: “Brothers and sisters in prison…,” tears immediately flowed down my face. These words were so touching to me. I read as I wiped the tears from my eyes. There were many passages of God’s word in the letter, but there were two that especially impressed me. God’s words say, “The utmost faith and love are required from us in this stage of work. We may stumble from the slightest carelessness, for this stage of work is different from all the previous ones: What God is perfecting is mankind’s faith, which is both invisible and intangible. What God does is convert words to faith, to love, and to life. People must reach a point where they have endured hundreds of refinements and possess faith greater than Job’s. They must endure incredible suffering and all manner of torture without ever leaving God. When they are obedient unto death, and have great faith in God, then this stage of God’s work is complete” (“The Path … (8)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “During these last days you must bear testimony to God. No matter how great your suffering, you should walk until the very end, and even at your last breath, still you must be faithful to God and at the mercy of God; only this is truly loving God, and only this is the strong and resounding testimony” (“Only by Experiencing Painful Trials Can You Know the Loveliness of God” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). I was really moved and inspired at the time. I felt that God was truly observing what was in our hearts, thoroughly understood our state and situation, and used these brothers and sisters to send us the watering and supply of His word. This was God’s love. I contemplated God’s word and understood that forsaking family and career to preach the gospel and fulfill our duty, no matter how much we suffer, is testimony. To be tormented and not betray God is also testimony. Still having faith and following God after long-term torment is even more powerful testimony. That I now had the chance to testify to God before Satan was God’s exaltation and persecution for righteousness. Once I understood God’s will, I cried and prayed to God. I said, “God! I will live up to Your love for me. Although these three years will be very long, no matter how the police torture me or how much I suffer, I will stand firm, testify for You, and humiliate Satan.” They were also very inspired after reading God’s word. I remember Sister Liu always worried that her blood pressure was too high. She was afraid that without proper treatment in time, she might die in the labor camp, so she wanted to get out as soon as possible. After reading God’s word, she realized she had no sincere faith in God and no testimony. She also said, “I see I have too little faith, and I feel like I owe God so much. Even if I die here in this labor camp, I still want to stand firm and testify for God.” There was also Sister Gao, who worried her relatives and friends would mock and discriminate against her for being in jail, and that they would gossip about her. After reading God’s word, she understood that being imprisoned for belief in God is persecution for righteousness, which is not something shameful, and that suffering to stand firm and testify for God is valuable and meaningful.
After that, we discussed it together, and we decided we had to pass on these words of God to our other sisters, so that they could also be supplied by His words. The camp rules were very strict. We weren’t allowed to talk or pass things to prisoners from other units. We couldn’t even make eye contact. Even if we occasionally ran into them, we weren’t allowed to get too close. So, if we wanted to pass the notes to the over 100 sisters in the other seven units, it was very dangerous. On top of that, the guards turned over our beds and searched our bodies every week. They searched every corner. If there was any detail where we weren’t careful and were discovered, the investigation would lead back to me. One of the guards even warned me, “If you dare spread the words of your, I’ll give you another three years and send you to a women’s prison.” I remember that there was a religious believer who was discovered passing on Scripture. The guards dragged her away by her handcuffs. They dragged her across the asphalt for a long time, a large piece of the clothing on her back was torn away, and her skin was scraped bloody. Another person was punished by being ordered to sit on a concrete floor without moving for over ten days. At that time, I thought, “This is no joke. If they find out, what I suffer will be even worse.” The more I thought about it, the harder it seemed, and I felt a little afraid. But then, I remembered God’s words, “Faith is like a single log bridge: Those who cling abjectly to life will have difficulty in crossing it, but those who are ready to sacrifice themselves can pass over, sure of foot and worry-free. If man harbors timid and fearful thoughts, it is because Satan has fooled them, afraid that we will cross the bridge of faith to enter into God” (“Chapter 6” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words were very encouraging. Weren’t the guards also in God’s hands? Whether I’d be discovered was in God’s hands. I believed that nothing is impossible if we rely on God. I had these fearful thoughts because I was being disturbed by Satan. Because I was afraid of being punished and tortured, Satan seized my weakness to disrupt and hinder me. If I gave up because I was afraid of torture, wouldn’t I be falling for Satan’s trick? Meanwhile, my sisters were in that painful environment, and they all needed the supply of God’s word, so it was my duty to pass on God’s word to them. In the course of our usual work, it was hard to have any contact with our sisters in other units. The only time we saw them was when we ate together in the big cafeteria. So, we planned to pass notes along at mealtime. The dining hall was full of security cameras, and we weren’t allowed to talk or walk around during meals. We had to finish eating in five minutes. So it was very hard to pass along God’s word. But, in the process of passing on God’s word, I genuinely witnessed God’s miraculous deeds. That day, I planned to pass notes to the sisters of Units 4 and 7. As I was washing the dishes, I looked at Sister Min from Unit 4. Unexpectedly, she also raised her head and looked in my direction. I used my eyes to motion for her to come and wash the dishes. I was worried she wouldn’t understand what I meant, but, thanks be to God, she understood immediately. We both walked to the place where the tableware was kept at the same time, and I quickly took out a note and stuffed it in her pocket. It only took a few seconds. At the time, I felt very grateful to God.
It was a lucky coincidence that a sister I knew from Unit 7 was sitting in my row, barely a meter from my own seat. The rule at the labor camp was that we had to wait for the monitors of each unit to order us to stand up before we left. At the time, I was very worried that if our two units didn’t stand up at the same time, I wouldn’t be able to get close to her. So I continuously prayed to God in my heart. Shortly, the monitors of our two units ordered us to stand at nearly the same time. After I stood up, I quickly pushed a note into my sister’s hand. It happened in the blink of an eye, and the guards didn’t notice at all. Thank God! With the help of my sisters, our sisters in the other units all received God’s word. I really didn’t expect to be able to pass on God’s word so smoothly. I really saw that nothing is difficult with God. Through this process of passing on God’s word, my sisters gained more faith in God.
Less than half a month after passing on God’s word, the labor camp demanded that all believers in Almighty God write a letter of renouncement. We were required to promise that we would stop believing in Almighty God. A few days prior, the sisters had just read God’s word, so they all had the faith to stand firm and testify for God. We gave each other hints and encouragement to never give in to Satan. But a week later, I heard about the sisters in other units who didn’t write the letter of renouncement. Some were tortured, some were forced to squat in undersized cages, and some were given further prison sentences. During that period, the atmosphere at the labor camp was more oppressive than ever. There was always a sense of terror, as if an imminent catastrophe could strike at any time. It was because we didn’t know when this environment would end or what methods the guards would use to torment us next. So at that time, everyone was especially miserable and depressed. We could only keep praying to God and asking God to open a way for us. At the time, all the sisters held the view: No matter what, we couldn’t write a letter of renouncement, and we had to stand firm and testify for God. We were in a stalemate with our guard for about half a month, and then, seeing that their methods weren’t working, she compromised. As a means to carry out her orders, she allowed us to write anything at all, no matter what it was. We all knew God had opened a way for us, and we were all especially grateful to God.
During those three years, we spread God’s word more than once. We received too little of God’s word the first time, so as time passed, our hearts hungered for God’s word again. Especially in that kind of miserable and depressing environment where so many things could happen, we needed the supply of God’s word even more. I remember once, a younger sister came to me with tears in her eyes and said her father wanted her to serve her sentence outside prison, but the police said believers in Almighty God didn’t qualify. She said she was only 23 and would have to stay in the labor camp for over a thousand days, and she didn’t know how she would get through it. She wanted nothing more than to leave. After hearing what she said, I was also sad for her, so I recited a passage of God’s word for her. God’s words say, “Perhaps you all remember these words: ‘For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, works for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.’ You have all heard these words before, yet none of you understood their true meaning. Today, you are profoundly aware of their true significance. These words shall be fulfilled by God during the last days, and they shall be fulfilled in those who have been brutally persecuted by the great red dragon in the land where it lies coiled. The great red dragon persecutes God and is the enemy of God, and so, in this land, those who believe in God are thus subjected to humiliation and oppression, and these words are fulfilled in you, this group of people, as a result” (“Is the Work of God As Simple As Man Imagines?” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). After hearing God’s words, she understood the significance of suffering, found faith, and no longer thought about how to escape this environment. Another time, on visitation day, I saw other people’s family members come to visit the prison and I missed my family very much. I thought of my elderly parents, and I didn’t know how they are doing. During that period, I often thought back on my memories of home, and as time went on, that made me feel negative. When a sister in the same cell saw I was in a negative state, she whispered a passage of God’s word into my ear. “The fate of man is controlled by the hands of God. You are incapable of controlling yourself: Despite man always rushing and busying himself on his own behalf, he remains incapable of controlling himself. If you could know your own prospects, if you could control your own fate, would you still be a created being? In short, regardless of how God works, all His work is for the sake of man. Take, for example, the heavens and earth and all things that God created to serve man: The moon, the sun, and the stars that He made for man, the animals and plants, spring, summer, autumn and winter, and so on—all are made for the sake of man’s existence” (“Restoring the Normal Life of Man and Taking Him to a Wonderful Destination” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). I contemplated God’s word, and then I understood everyone’s fate is in God’s hands, so whether my family is doing well depends entirely on God’s sovereignty and arrangements. If I handed my family over to God, what did I have to worry about? I really shouldn’t give myself anxiety over this. God’s word allowed me to stop being negative and gave me strength, and I genuinely realized that we can’t be without the guidance of God’s word. So I prayed to God to ask how to get more of God’s word and for Him to lead us in what was to come. After that, I remembered the two sisters in the visitation room. If I could make contact with them, there was a chance I could obtain more of God’s word. I prayed to God about this and asked Him to provide us with suitable opportunities.
One morning, the chief guard called me, “Come with me, we need you to clear up the visitation room.” When I heard I was going to the visitation room, my heart brightened. This was my opportunity. This was the only time in my three years there that I went to the visitation room, so at the time, I was certain that this was an opportunity God had arranged for me. Once we reached the visitation room, the chief guard went to chat with other guards. I hurried to the back kitchen. I saw the two sisters were busy cooking, so I hurriedly asked if there was anything to eat. They immediately understood what I meant and answered, “Yes there is.” Then, one of them took a paper ball from a cloth bag and gave it to me. I realized I finally had our long-awaited word of God, and I really don’t know how to describe my mood. But I was also a little worried, because the hand-written paper ball was bigger than a large goose egg. I put it in my underwear, but the bulge was too obvious. I tried putting it in my pants pocket, but it couldn’t fit and fell out. Seeing that there was no place to hide it on my body, I felt a rush of panic. I looked up and saw security cameras all around, and I felt overwhelmed by anxiety. If I was discovered, everything was over. The consequences would be terrible. But at the same time, I thought if I missed this chance, I might never get another chance to receive God’s word. We needed God’s words so much, and I couldn’t bear to return them. At that moment, I was so nervous that I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly, a line of God’s word sprang into my mind with perfect clarity, “Do not fear, the Almighty God of hosts will surely be with you; He stands behind you and He is your shield” (“Chapter 26” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning in The Word Appears in the Flesh). It’s true. God has sovereignty over all things, so whether I’d be discovered was in His hands. With God as my backing, what did I have to fear? Once I realized this, I felt much calmer. I thought of the brothers and sisters who transported books of God’s word. Even under the tight monitoring of the great red dragon, they were able to deliver so many books of God’s word to brothers and sisters. Didn’t they also rely on God to experience their environment? So, I thought, “If I rely on God, He will also open a way for me.” Once I thought of that, I didn’t hesitate any further, and I made up my mind to take God’s word back with me. So, I stuffed the paper ball of God’s word into my underwear again, pulled my shirt out from my chest with my hands, and bent my waist slightly, after which the bulge wasn’t so obvious. I thought to myself, “I have to bring God’s word back to the workshop first, and then come back to clean up.” I remember the door leading to the workshop was guarded by Section Chief Zhang. She used to ask me to do odd jobs for her, so I had rapport with her. At that moment, I clearly realized that this was the way God had opened for me. So, I went straight to Section Chief Zhang’s office and said to her in a low voice, “Chief Zhang, I’m having my period. I’d like to go back upstairs for a moment.” When she heard I wanted to go back upstairs alone, her face immediately sank. She said, “No, have the guard who brought you here lead you back. Where is your guard?” She looked around to find our guard. I sensed something bad was about to happen, so I felt nervous. If the guard came to lead me back, everything was finished. Our guard was especially strict with the prisoners. If she learned I wanted to go back, she not only wouldn’t agree, she would check me to see whether I really was having my period. If she found God’s word on me, she would beat me within an inch of my life. At that moment, it felt like my heart was in my throat. I couldn’t stop crying out and praying to God. Just at that moment, I suddenly remembered that I made some cloth bags for Section Chief Zhang a few days prior. I quickly asked her, “Chief Zhang, are you happy with the cloth bags I made for you? Feel free to ask me if you need something else.” As soon as she heard me say this, she immediately became less tense. I realized that God was opening a way for me. I said to her, “Chief Zhang, don’t worry, I’ll be back in less than a minute.” She didn’t respond, so I quickly ran upstairs. On the way, I suddenly remembered I had to pass through a metal door to reach the workshop. According to regulations, this door usually had to be locked, but at this point, I didn’t have the mental energy to consider that, and I didn’t feel very afraid, either, because during this process, I clearly saw that God was with me and guiding me through step by step. When I reached the metal door, I was surprised to find it unlocked, and on the other side, there were no guards in the corridor. I thanked God over and over in my heart. I hurried to the workshop and gave God’s word to my sister, and mentally it felt as if I had put down a huge rock I was carrying. I thought of what Jehovah God said to Joshua, “Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be you dismayed: for Jehovah your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). It’s true, God is the Creator, everything is in God’s hands, and all people, matters, and things serve God’s work. This experience allowed me to see God’s miraculous deeds, and truly see that God’s authority is above all else. Looking back on it, I saw how God cleverly arranged things at every step. For example, it’s very difficult for prisoners to have contact with Section Chief Zhang. Among over a thousand prisoners, she only asked me to do work for her. This is something God prepared for me. The chief guard who watched us working each time wasn’t watching me this time, and even the metal door that was usually locked wasn’t locked this time. Everything about it was unusual. It’s just as the Bible says, “The king’s heart is in the hand of Jehovah, as the rivers of water: He turns it wherever He will” (Proverbs 21:1). These words are all too true! I couldn’t help but praise God’s power. Thank God! Three new chapters of God’s word, “You Ought to Consider Your Deeds,” “God Is the Source of Man’s Life,” “The Sighing of the Almighty,” and hundreds of hymns. In such an environment, we were spiritually thirsty, so seeing any of God’s word felt wonderful, but reading this passage felt especially good: “Everything of this world swiftly changes with the Almighty’s thoughts and beneath His eyes. Things mankind has never heard of suddenly arrive, whereas things that mankind has long possessed unknowingly slip away. No one can fathom the Almighty’s whereabouts, much less can anyone sense the transcendence and greatness of the Almighty’s life force. He is transcendent in that He can perceive what humans cannot. He is great in that He is the One who is forsaken by mankind and yet saves mankind. He knows the meaning of life and death, and more than that, He knows the laws of existence that mankind, who are created, should follow. He is the foundation of human existence, and He is the Redeemer who resurrects mankind again. He weighs down happy hearts with sorrow and lifts up sorrowful hearts with happiness, all for the sake of His work, and for the sake of His plan. … The Almighty has mercy on these people who have suffered deeply; at the same time, He is fed up with these people who lack consciousness, as He has had to wait too long for an answer from humanity. He wishes to seek, to seek your heart and your spirit, to bring you water and food and to awaken you, that you may no longer be thirsty and hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel something of the bleak desolation of this world, do not be lost, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival at any time. He is keeping watch by your side, waiting for you to turn back around. He is waiting for the day you suddenly recover your memory: when you realize that you came from God, that, at some unknown time you lost your direction, at some unknown time you lost consciousness on the road, and at some unknown time acquired a ‘father’; when you realize, furthermore, that the Almighty has always been keeping watch, waiting there a very, very long time for your return. He has been watching with desperate longing, waiting for a response without an answer. His watching and waiting are beyond any price, and they are for the sake of the human heart and the human spirit. Perhaps this watching and waiting are indefinite, and perhaps they are at an end. But you should know exactly where your heart and your spirit are right now” (“The Sighing of the Almighty” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). After reading God’s words, several of our sisters burst into tears. We felt God’s love and mercy for humankind in God’s words. Only God truly cares for us and worries about our future and destiny. Who else has such great love? At that time, I looked for a chance to give it to a sister who was seriously ill. Her state was especially bad, but she understood God’s will from God’s words, and realized that there was no testimony when she complained over her own suffering, which made God’s heart ache. She regretted her actions and hoped to seek God’s will in her illness and stand witness to comfort God’s heart. I was also very moved at the time, especially when I read this portion of God’s word: “From the moment you come crying into this world, you begin to fulfill your duty. For God’s plan and for His ordination, you perform your role and start your life’s journey. Whatever your background, and whatever the journey ahead of you, no one can escape the orchestrations and arrangements of the Heaven, and no one is in control of their own destiny, for only He who rules over all things is capable of such work. Since the day man came into existence, God has ever worked thus, managing the universe, directing the rules of change for all things and the trajectory of their movement. Like all things, man is quietly and unknowingly nourished by the sweetness and rain and dew from God; like all things, man unknowingly lives beneath the orchestration of God’s hand. Man’s heart and spirit are held in the hand of God, everything of his life is beheld in the eyes of God. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, any and all things, whether living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear in accordance with God’s thoughts. Such is the way in which God presides over all things” (“God Is the Source of Man’s Life” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). As I contemplated God’s word, I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face. I thought of my family’s preference for sons, and I grew up suffering loneliness and discrimination. I then went through two failed marriages, and attempted suicide several times. I thought, “From the vast ocean of humanity, God chose me to come into His house. Now I understand I survived because He protected me. He has a commission for me, and I have a mission in life and a role to play. I forsook my family to preach the gospel, I’m arrested and imprisoned at the labor camp, and I become a caretaker, all of which God has allowed. I have the chance to spread God’s word here and I’m able to help and support those sisters. God gives me this burden, and this is my mission.” When I thought of these things, I felt a warmth in my heart. I felt fortunate to be able to follow Almighty God, perform the duties of a created being, experience God’s work, and see God’s miraculous deeds. I really was blessed! I knew that God was with me, by my side. God is the Sovereign of my fate, so what else could I ask for? When I thought about these things, I didn’t feel being in the labor camp was so hard, and I didn’t feel alone.
We fellowshiped on God’s will with each other, and we were all inspired by God’s love. We felt deep gratitude, and our determination to stand witness for God only grew. After that, we quickly copied out God’s word. So that we could give it to more sisters. I used my hall duty to act as a lookout for my sisters, so that they could copy out God’s word without worrying, and some were up writing until midnight. The other prisoner on duty with me didn’t care about anything. She pretended not to see anything. So, in the space of three days, we copied out God’s word without incident, and very quickly, we delivered it to dozens of other sisters. Over those days, as the sisters shared and fellowshiped on God’s word, we all encouraged each other and found more faith to stand witness for God in this difficult environment.
I think back on each moment of the process of spreading God’s word at the labor camp, and I know I will never forget them. Through these practical experiences, I personally saw and experienced God’s miraculous deeds, truly witnessed God’s authority, almightiness and wisdom, and genuinely felt that God’s word is what gives people strength in life. Every time I think about these things, I am very moved and inspired, and I give God thanks and praise from the bottom of my heart!