God’s Words Guided Me to Cast Off My Feelings of Repression

June 2, 2025

By Jess, Spain

I do translation duties in the church, and I’m mainly responsible for translating God’s words into English. At the end of July 2023, the leaders fellowshipped many principles of translation with us. They also asked us to be meticulous, and to do the translation work well. In this way, more people around the world could read the words God expresses, accept God’s work of the last days, and return to God’s house as soon as possible. I was filled with determination. I felt that the principles fellowshipped by the leaders corrected many of our past deviations, giving us a clearer path in our duties. I wanted to strive upward and do this duty well.

One of the important tasks in translating God’s words accurately is determining the translation of spiritual terms. This task isn’t easy for us. Firstly, the number of spiritual terms is large, and secondly, to translate spiritual terms accurately, we need to first clearly ascertain the Chinese meanings of these terms, and then find English words with similar meanings. To determine the translation of each spiritual term, we need to spend a lot of time and effort researching materials, consulting various sources, and discussing. Many terms can’t be settled after one discussion, and we need to keep consulting and discussing. If we encounter problems that we can’t solve, we have to seek from the leaders. So this task requires a lot of time and energy, and it also requires a lot of patience. At first, though I found it difficult, when I thought about how God had elevated me to be so fortunate as to do such an important duty, I felt a little more motivated. But later, I found that the spiritual terms that needed their translations standardized kept increasing, that it was hard to determine the accurate translation for many terms, and that once one difficulty was solved, the next one came up immediately. I remember one time when we encountered two spiritual terms that were difficult to define, and even after consultation and discussion, we still couldn’t find the right English words to express them. Later, we finally managed to find relatively suitable words, but then we found that there were still oversights, and we had to research materials, consult professional translators, and discuss and seek all over again. Just thinking about all this made my head spin, and I felt that the pressure had suddenly doubled. I thought to myself, “This work is more intricate than embroidery. If we keep having to research, consult, and discuss, that’ll take so much effort and energy! I really don’t have the patience for this! Besides, even if these two terms are defined, there are still so many terms left to define, and I still don’t know what difficulties I’ll have to face or how much of a price I’ll have to pay doing that! Doing this duty is so exhausting. When will I ever get a chance to rest for a bit?” Sometimes, brothers and sisters also urged us to hurry up with our translation, otherwise it would affect other work. This made me feel under even more pressure. Plus, in addition to this task, I also had to check translations, and I’d encounter difficulties, and brothers and sisters would sometimes ask me translation questions, and sometimes I wouldn’t have any ideas or know how to solve these issues. These difficulties from all directions made me feel suffocated, and I couldn’t help but feel upset and despondent. I felt gloomy every day, like a stone was pressing down on my chest, and I felt that doing this duty was too hard and difficult. I envied the brothers and sisters whose duties seemed easier, thinking about how nice it would be if I could do such duties, as then I’d have a more comfortable daily life. At that time, though my work didn’t stop, I was passive in my duties, just doing them reluctantly. I always felt tired, wanting to take breaks and relax after doing my duty for a while, and my work efficiency was low. Sometimes, when I saw that many tasks needed to be handled, I didn’t think about how to plan my time rationally to handle them efficiently. Instead, I just did whatever came up, and while doing it, I kept complaining that there was too much work. One time, I couldn’t bear the repression anymore. I felt a tightness in my chest and couldn’t think clearly, so I shut off my computer and went outside alone to calm down for a while.

During my quiet reflection, I thought about how during this time, every time I encountered a problem or difficulty, I felt upset and repressed, and I’d envy the brothers and sisters whose duties seemed easier and with fewer difficulties. I realized that my state was wrong and needed to be turned around quickly. Over the next few days, I often prayed to God, telling Him about my state, and I sought God’s words to resolve my state. One day, I read a passage of God’s words that really inspired me. Almighty God says: “The entire process of building the ark was filled with difficulty. For the moment, let’s put aside how Noah got through the whipping winds, scorching sun, and lashing rain, the searing heat and bitter cold, and the four turning seasons, year after year. Let us first speak of what a colossal undertaking building the ark was, and of his preparation of the various materials, and the myriad difficulties he faced in the course of building the ark. What did these difficulties include? Contrary to people’s perceptions, some physical tasks didn’t always go right the first time, and Noah had to go through many failures. After finishing something, if it looked wrong, he’d take it apart, and after he’d finished taking it apart, he’d have to prepare materials, and do it all over again. It wasn’t like the modern era, where everyone does everything by electronic equipment, and once it has been set up the work is carried out according to a set program. When such work is carried out today, it is mechanized, and once you turn a machine on, it can get the work done. But Noah was living in an age of primitive society, and all work was done by hand and you had to do all work with your own two hands, using your eyes and minds, and your own diligence and strength. Of course, most of all, people needed to rely on God; they needed to seek God everywhere and at all times. In the process of encountering all manner of difficulties, and in the days and nights spent building the ark, Noah had to face not only the various situations that occurred while completing this colossal undertaking, but also the various environments around him, as well as the ridicule, slander, and verbal abuse of others. … Faced with all manner of troubles, difficult situations, and challenges, Noah did not shrink back. When some of his more difficult engineering tasks frequently failed and underwent damage, even though Noah felt upset and anxious in his heart, when he thought of God’s words, when he remembered every word that God commanded of him, and God’s elevation of him, then he often felt extremely motivated: ‘I cannot give up, I cannot discard what God commanded and entrusted me to do; this is God’s commission, and since I accepted it, since I heard the words spoken by God and the voice of God, and since I accepted this from God, then I should submit absolutely, which is what ought to be attained by a human being.’ So, no matter what kind of difficulties he faced, no matter what kind of mockery or slander he encountered, no matter how exhausted his body became, how tired, he did not forsake what had been entrusted to him by God, and constantly kept in mind every single word of what God had said and commanded. No matter how his environments changed, no matter how great the difficulty he faced, he trusted that none of this would go on forever, that God’s words alone would never pass away, and only that which God commanded to be done would surely be accomplished. Noah had in him true faith in God, and the submission that he ought to have, and he continued to build the ark that God had asked him to build. Day by day, year by year, Noah grew older, but his faith did not diminish, and there was no change in his attitude and determination to complete God’s commission. Though there were times when his body felt tired and exhausted, and he fell ill, and in his heart he was weak, his determination and perseverance toward completing God’s commission and submitting to God’s words did not lessen. During the years that Noah built the ark, Noah was practicing listening to and submitting to the words God had said, and he was also practicing an important truth of a created being and ordinary person needing to complete God’s commission(The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Three: How Noah and Abraham Obeyed God’s Words and Submitted to Him (Part Two)). As I pondered God’s words, I felt deeply ashamed. I thought about the era without electronic devices—Noah had to build an enormous ark with just his own hands, and the difficulties and pressures he faced were immense. Throughout the 120 years of building the ark, the amount of effort and time he had to put in, how much work he had to do, and the number of difficulties and failures he encountered are things that are hard for people today to imagine. Besides that, he also had to face being misunderstood by his family and mocked and insulted by those around him. But he didn’t become discouraged or give up because of the great pressure, and his true faith and submission to God made him steadfast in completing God’s commission. Comparing myself in light of this, the difficulties and pressures I was facing were nothing compared to Noah’s. Though the translation work involved many details and challenges, the leaders had fellowshipped principles, and there were other brothers and sisters to cooperate with, and when we encountered difficulties we couldn’t solve, we could seek help from the leaders. In this way, difficulties and problems could be resolved, and the work could progress normally. But because I didn’t want to pay a price or put in the effort to think through things, I felt that doing this duty was too difficult, and that the pressure was too much, and I even thought about changing to a lighter duty. In reality, this was a desire to abandon my duty and betray God. My faith was too small, and I had no submission to God; I was utterly unworthy of trust. I also saw that when Noah faced difficulties and pressures, he prayed to God and relied on Him. Yet when I faced difficulties and pressures, I’d just bottle them up inside, not knowing to rely on and look to God for a solution, and as a result, it felt like the pressure kept growing stronger. I had to emulate Noah and learn to rely on God. Later, when I encountered difficulties in my duties again, at first, I’d still feel some pressure, but thinking about Noah’s story would give me some strength to rebel against my flesh. By praying and relying on God, and discussing and seeking together with brothers and sisters, we found relatively suitable solutions to some problems. My heart felt more secure and joyful, and I was no longer frowning all the time.

A while later, the sister I cooperated with had other tasks to handle, so I was the only one seeing to the translation work. Plus, there were three new sisters in the team who needed guidance in becoming familiar with the work. All these things together made me feel great pressure. Even though I sat in front of the computer every day and my legs weren’t moving, my mind was constantly “racing.” I not only had to complete my own tasks, but I also had to follow up on the work of the others on the team and solve problems in good time. Sometimes, I even had to communicate with brothers and sisters from other teams about issues. There was always so much to handle, and my mind was constantly tense. Every night when I lay down, I thought to myself, “Doing this duty is so exhausting. When can I get a little break? Thinking about problems all day long, being under constant pressure—isn’t this going to affect my health? When will I be able to do my duties easily, on autopilot? That way, I won’t have to be so tired.” Again, I couldn’t help but think of changing to a lighter duty. Later, even though I was busy, it was only because I was afraid of delaying the work that I did it reluctantly. My heart was filled with repressed negative emotions. I would often get angry and lose my patience over small things, and I often lacked patience when communicating with others about work. One evening, when I spent a long time explaining some work to a newly arrived sister, I lost my patience, and my tone revealed my impatience. After I finished speaking, I felt some remorse, and I realized that speaking to the sister like this might make her feel constrained. I realized that my state wasn’t right and that I was wallowing in repressive emotions, so, in the following days, I prayed and reflected on what my problem was.

One day, I saw a passage of God’s words quoted in an experiential testimony video: “There are three main causes and reasons why this negative emotion of repression emerges in people. The first is that many people, whether in their daily lives or in the process of performing their duties, feel that they cannot do as they please. … What does it mean to be unable to do as one pleases? It means not being able to act upon every desire that passes through one’s mind. Being able to do what they want, when they want, and how they want is a requirement that these people have in both their work and lives. However, due to various reasons, including laws, living environments, or the rules, systems, stipulations, and disciplinary measures of a group, and so on, people are unable to act according to their own wishes and imaginings. Consequently, they feel repressed in the depths of their hearts. To put it bluntly, this repression happens because people feel aggrieved—some people even feel wronged. Being unable to do as one pleases, to put it in frank terms, means not being able to act upon one’s own will—it means that one cannot be willful or freely indulgent due to various reasons and the restrictions of various objective environments and conditions. For example, some people are always perfunctory and find ways to slack off while performing their duties. Sometimes, the work of the church requires haste, but they just want to do as they please. If they don’t feel very well physically, or are in a bad mood and in low spirits for a couple of days, they will be unwilling to endure hardship and pay a price to do the church work. They are particularly lazy and covetous of comfort. When they lack motivation, their bodies will become sluggish, and they will be unwilling to move, but they fear being pruned by leaders and being called lazy by their brothers and sisters, so there’s nothing they can do except reluctantly perform the work along with everyone else. They will, however, feel very unwilling, unhappy, and reluctant about this. They will feel wronged, aggrieved, annoyed, and exhausted. They want to act based on their own will, but they dare not break away from or go against the requirements and stipulations of God’s house. As a result, an emotion begins to emerge within them over time—repression. Once this repressive emotion takes root in them, they will begin to gradually appear listless and weak. Like a machine, they will no longer have a clear understanding of what they are doing, but they will still do whatever they’re told to do every day, in the way that they’re told to do it. Although they will continue to carry out their tasks on the surface without stopping, without pausing, without stepping away from the environment of performing their duties, yet in their hearts they will feel repressed, and think that their lives are exhausting and full of grievances(The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (5)). After reading God’s words, I realized that people can develop repressive negative emotions because they are lazy, always seek to do as they please, and want physical comfort and not to suffer. When their duties no longer allow them to do as they please or live in a freely indulgent way, their hearts become highly unwilling, and over time, repressive emotions arise. Comparing this to myself, I realized that I pursued physical comfort, hoping to pass my days with ease and to do my duties on autopilot, without any difficulties or anyone urging me on. At first, when standardizing the translation of spiritual terms, I was eager to do this task, and when there were difficulties, I could overcome them. But as the difficulties grew ever more numerous, I felt that I had to endure a lot of suffering and pay a heavy price to do it well, so my heart became unwilling, and I felt that this duty was too exhausting. Though I knew I couldn’t delay the work, and I was struggling through it on the surface, inside, I felt completely drained, just hoping that one day, I could take a break and relax for a bit. Later, when the brothers and sisters urged me to speed up the progress, and when my partner was absent, my workload increased, and I had to put in even more time and energy, I began to feel resistance in my heart again. Because I was afraid of delaying progress, I also merely did my duty begrudgingly, working while grumbling inwardly, feeling greatly wronged. I lived each day wallowing in repression, dispirited and irritable, and life felt really tiring. I realized that in my duties, I was only concerned with whether my body was comfortable. I was so lazy and lacking in conscience and reason, and I was letting God down so badly.

Later on, I read two more passages of God’s words: “If people constantly seek physical comfort and happiness, if they constantly pursue physical happiness and comfort, and don’t wish to suffer, then even a little bit of physical suffering, suffering a bit more than others, or feeling a bit more overworked than usual, would make them feel repressed. This is one of the causes of repression. If people do not consider a small amount of physical suffering a big deal, and they do not pursue physical comfort, but instead pursue the truth and seek to fulfill their duties in order to satisfy God, then they often will not feel physical suffering. Even if they occasionally feel a bit busy, tired, or worn out, after they go to sleep they will wake up feeling better, and then they will continue with their work. Their focus will be on their duties and their work; they won’t consider a bit of physical fatigue a significant issue. However, when a problem arises in people’s thinking and they constantly pursue physical comfort, any time that their physical bodies are slightly wronged or cannot find satisfaction, certain negative emotions will arise within them(The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (5)). “To reach an understanding of natures, in addition to unearthing the things people are fond of in their natures, several of the most important aspects pertaining to their natures also need to be unearthed. For example, people’s viewpoints on things, people’s methods and goals in life, people’s life values and outlook on life, as well as views and ideas on all things relating to truth. These are all things deep within people’s souls and they have a direct relationship with the transformation of disposition. What, then, is corrupt mankind’s outlook on life? It can be said to be this: ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.’ People all live for themselves; to put it frankly, they are living for the flesh. They are living just to put food in their mouths. How does this existence differ from that of the animals? There is no value whatsoever in living like this, let alone any meaning. One’s outlook on life is about what you rely on to live in the world, what you live for, and how you live—and these are all things to do with the essence of human nature. Through dissecting people’s natures, you will see that people all resist God. They are all devils and there is no genuinely good person. Only by dissecting people’s natures can you truly know the corruption and essence of man and understand what people actually belong to, what people truly lack, what they should be equipped with, and how they should live out a human likeness. Truly dissecting a person’s nature is not easy, and cannot be done without experiencing God’s words or having true experiences(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Should Be Known About Transforming One’s Disposition). After reading God’s words, I realized that repressive emotions don’t arise because doing duties is too exhausting, but because there is something wrong with people’s thoughts and views. If a person seeks to fulfill their duty to satisfy God, then when encountering difficulties in their duty, they will think only of how to rely on God to resolve them, and they won’t wallow in negative emotions, feeling resistant and repressed. Then, once the difficulties are resolved, they will feel at ease and joyful in their hearts, and they won’t feel wronged for having suffered or exhausted themselves. The reason I’d become negative, resistant, and even feel repressed when I suffered a bit or got a bit tired was because I had been pursuing an easy duty with no difficulties, and when I had to work hard or suffer a little more, I’d become unwilling. This showed that my thoughts and perspectives were wrong. Upon careful reflection, I found that I had always followed Satan’s philosophies of “Treat yourself well” and “Life is short, so enjoy it while you can.” I believed that people should treat themselves well and avoid suffering too much. When I was in school, I saw some classmates studying late into the night, frantically doing practice questions to get into a good university, but I thought that was too hard and tiring, and that I shouldn’t be so harsh on myself. After entering university, although I majored in English translation, I never planned to work in this field because I felt this job was too detail-oriented and too mentally draining. I just wanted to find an easy job, earn some money, and live a comfortable life. After coming to God’s house to do my duty, I still lived by these satanic philosophies. I just wanted to do my duties in a relaxed way, to have no difficulties and no one pressing me for progress, and to just spend my days working on autopilot. So when I had some difficulties in the work and endured a little more physical suffering, I’d complain about the difficulties and suffering, reluctantly coping with the work. I’d even take out my dissatisfaction on others, and also want to change to a lighter duty. Thinking about it, I initially really wanted to do this duty properly, but this desire and resolve suddenly faded into a mirage and became empty words just because my body suffered a little. When my body had to go through some momentary hardship, I’d become negative and resistant, dragging my feet in my duty, and affecting the progress of the work. Not only did I not feel any guilt or self-blame, but I even felt wronged for the suffering upon my body. I was truly willful and selfish! I had been living according to these satanic poisons, becoming extremely lazy and covetous for comfort, incapable of enduring any hardship, and devoid of any normal humanity. If I continued like this, not only would I fail to fulfill my duty, but I might also give up on it and delay it at any time, even to the point of disrupting and disturbing the work and ultimately being spurned by God. During that time, I also gradually learned about some brothers and sisters who’d been dismissed for being irresponsible in their duties and severely delaying the work of God’s house. I felt quite scared, not wanting to follow their path of failure. Thinking about it, as a created being, doing my duty is the most important thing in my life, and I have to give my all to do it well. No matter how much of a price or how much effort it takes, or how much physical comfort and enjoyment I have to give up, it is all worth it. I had to promptly turn my state around and fulfill my duty.

Later, I read God’s words: “As an adult, you must shoulder these things—without complaining or resisting, and especially without evading or rejecting them. Drifting through life, being idle, doing things as you please, being willful or capricious, doing what you want to do and not doing what you don’t want to do—this is not the attitude in life that an adult should have. Every adult must shoulder an adult’s responsibilities, regardless of how much pressure they face, such as hardships, illnesses, and even various difficulties—these are things that everyone should experience and bear. They are a part of a normal person’s life. If you cannot bear pressure or endure suffering, it means that you are too fragile and useless. Whoever lives must bear this suffering, and no one can avoid it. Whether in society or in God’s house, it is the same for everyone. This is the responsibility you should bear, the heavy burden that an adult should carry, the thing that they should shoulder, and you should not evade it(The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (5)). “Those who truly believe in God are all individuals who attend to their proper work, they are all willing to perform their duties, capable of shouldering a piece of work and doing it well according to their caliber and the regulations of God’s house. Of course, it may be challenging to adapt to this life at first. You may feel physically and mentally exhausted. However, if you truly have the resolve to cooperate and the willingness to become a normal and good person, and to achieve salvation, then you must pay a bit of a price and allow God to discipline you. When you have the urge to be willful, you must rebel against it and let go of it, gradually reducing your willfulness and selfish desires. You must seek God’s help in crucial matters, at crucial times, and in crucial tasks. If you do have resolve, then you should ask God to chasten and discipline you, and to enlighten you so that you may understand the truth, that way you will get better results. If you genuinely have resolve, and you pray to God in His presence and supplicate to Him, God will act. He will change your state and your thoughts. If the Holy Spirit does a little work, moving you a little, and enlightening you a little, your heart will change, and your state will be transformed. When this transformation occurs, you will feel that living this way is not repressive. Your repressed state and emotions will be transformed and alleviated, and they will be different from before. You will feel that living like this is not tiring. You will find enjoyment performing your duty in the house of God. You will feel that it is good living, comporting yourself, and performing your duty in this way, enduring hardships and paying a price, following the rules, and doing things based on the principles. You will feel that this is the kind of life that normal people should have. When you live by the truth and perform your duty well, you will feel that your heart is steady and at peace, and that your life is meaningful(The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (5)). God’s words speak of “the heavy burden that an adult should carry.” As I pondered this phrase over and over again, my heart became a little brighter. Everyone in this world carries burdens in life, such as pressure from work, the heavy burden of family, and so on. An adult with normal humanity should bear their own burdens and should not complain or evade them. Now, I am doing my duty in God’s house. I should correctly face and accept the various difficulties encountered in my duty, and do my utmost to do it well. No matter how hard or painful it is, I shouldn’t give up my duty or wallow in repressive emotions, but instead, rise to the challenge and do well what should be done. This is the way an adult should be, and a manifestation of normal humanity. Now, I am doing translation duties. To do this duty well, I have to be meticulous and overcome each issue one by one. Now, God’s work is speeding up, and the gospel is spreading throughout the world. God urgently hopes that His words can spread to every country. Only by quickly translating books of God’s words can we enable brothers and sisters in all countries to eat and drink God’s words as soon as possible, and allow more of God’s sheep to hear His voice and come before Him. I thought about how my being able to do such an important duty was God’s exaltation, so I should put aside my viewpoint of pursuing physical comfort, and do my duties with all my strength. When I encounter difficulties or feel under pressure, I need to pray more to God, asking Him to enlighten and lead me so that I may receive His help and guidance. In this way, I can gradually cast off my state of feeling repressed and fulfill my duty.

A while later, the leaders arranged a task for us, which required checking the translation of two books according to principles. This task was quite principle-based, and the workload was also quite large. At first, we encountered many problems and didn’t know how to solve them. When I saw these problems, I felt overwhelmed, thinking, “These problems are quite complex, so I’d need to calm down to figure out the specific context of each problem and also use the principles to judge how to handle them appropriately. All this would take a lot of time and energy.” Thinking about the suffering ahead, I couldn’t help but feel reluctant. Later, thinking about how this was my duty and I had to do it well, I realized that I had to rebel against my flesh and fulfill my responsibilities. So, I seriously fellowshipped and explored these issues with my brothers and sisters. During this process, I also prayed to God to enlighten and guide us to be able to clarify the principles, to be able to check the two books well, and to accurately amend each problem. After praying, I actually rebelled against my flesh. First, I’d carefully read and ponder the principles, and then, I’d patiently discuss each problem with the brothers and sisters. When there were disagreements, we’d seek out the principles and discuss until we’d reach an agreement. Some problems were quite difficult and were only resolved after repeated discussions. Though sometimes the discussions would go on late, and I’d be physically tired, I would feel peace and joy in my heart, because by praying to God and actually cooperating, I not only clarified the principles I didn’t understand before, but I also refrained from heeding my flesh and did my best to do this task. My heart was thus filled with satisfaction.

Over the next few days, there was still some pressure at work, and we would also encounter some problems and difficulties that were difficult to solve. Sometimes, when I thought about how my flesh would have to suffer to solve these problems, I’d still feel reluctant, but when I recalled this recent experience, I’d feel that I couldn’t be willful or indulge in comfort anymore, and I’d pray to God, asking Him to guide me to turn my state around. At the same time, I actually cooperated, and I did everything I could. Gradually, the difficulties we encountered were resolved one by one. After experiencing this, I realized that some difficulties weren’t so hard to solve, and that it was because I had been living in a corrupt disposition that I always felt troubled and repressed. In reality, when I changed my mindset and relied on God to experience matters, these difficulties stopped being difficulties. Now when I encounter problems that are hard to solve, I can consciously rebel against my flesh and am no longer trapped in repressive emotions all day long as before. This is all due to the guidance of God’s words. Thank God!

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