Through Illness My Motive for Blessings Was Revealed
By Zhenxin, USAAlmighty God says, “In their belief in God, what people seek is to obtain blessings for the future; this is their goal in...
When I was young, my mother often said to me, “You’ve got to be on the alert when interacting with others; don’t be foolish and just say whatever comes to mind. That makes it easy to be harmed and tricked by people.” Back then, when I heard these words, I hadn’t had any firsthand experience, so I just nodded in response. Later on, when I engaged with people in society, I saw that the people around me would scheme against and harm each other for the sake of their interests. If someone said the wrong words, they would be framed by others. I thought to myself, “The human heart is hard to fathom; I need to stay alert when interacting with people in the future. As long as I don’t intend to harm others, it’ll be fine, but I need to be on guard against them, or else I’ll be taken advantage of.” So, regardless of whether I was interacting with friends or neighbors, I was always on guard. I didn’t dare to speak my mind, fearing that if I said the wrong thing, I’d offend someone and bring trouble upon myself. I had been away from home working for many years, and I barely had any close friends. After starting to believe in God, I came into contact with the brothers and sisters, and I saw that when they gathered and fellowshipped on their experiences and understandings, they could purely open up and speak their innermost thoughts. They didn’t hide or conceal anything and were extremely liberated and free. Slowly, I learned to open my heart and fellowship with them without having any misgivings, and I felt that believing in God was really great. But with matters involving my own interests, I couldn’t help but live according to the rule for worldly dealings “One should never intend to do harm to others, but should always guard against the harm others might do to him.”
That was March of 2023. Since the results of our church’s writing work were poor, the leader sent multiple letters asking about the reason for this and asking how we would turn things around going forward. The sister I was partnered with, Xinjing, was opposed to this, and she said to the group leader, Lin Xiao, and me, “Every day, we’re so busy that we don’t have any free time, and the leader supervises and checks up on our work so closely. Doing this duty is too stressful!” At the time, I just thought that she said so because her state was bad, and that we all had times when we were negative and revealed corruptions. What’s more, I had those same states that she did, I just didn’t speak about them. Therefore, I didn’t pay too much mind to those things that Xinjing said. The group leader fellowshipped with Xinjing, dissecting the reason behind her being so opposed to the leader’s supervision. She said the root cause of this was enjoying fleshly comforts in her duty and not wanting to suffer and pay a price, and she also fellowshipped on the significance of leaders supervising the work. Hearing the group leader’s fellowship, Xinjing recognized that she was quite lazy, and that if it wasn’t for the leader checking up and supervising, she would treat her duty with indifference and would certainly delay the work. However, afterward, when gathering and studying, Xinjing would still speak in opposition to the leader’s supervision of the work. At the time, I thought to myself, “She might only be saying these things because her work hasn’t produced results recently, which has affected her state. With the help of gathering and fellowshipping, she may reverse her course after this.” So, I didn’t take it seriously.
On one day in May, the leader came to gather with us. She said someone had reported that Xinjing liked venting negativity and was very opposed to leaders supervising the work. The leader also used God’s words to fellowship on and dissect the nature and consequences of Xinjing’s words and actions. Hearing about this all of a sudden, I was rather dumbfounded. My guess was that this report was from the group leader, Lin Xiao, since only the two of us knew about what Xinjing had said. It wasn’t me, so it must have been Lin Xiao who reported her. Thinking of this, a thought flashed through my mind: “After this, I’ve got to be more careful when I speak. Speaking one wrong word could easily lead to disaster.” But when I had this thought, I didn’t pay much attention to that and just let it pass. More than 10 days later, the leader saw that Xinjing’s attitude toward her duty hadn’t changed, and she dismissed her. Hearing this news, I was surprised, thinking, “All she did was open up her state during gatherings, then she was defined as venting negativity and was dismissed. I’ve got to be more careful when I speak at future gatherings. I don’t want to say something wrong and get dismissed.” Later, Lin Xiao told me she was the one who reported Xinjing’s problem. I was seething, and I thought, “This is really a case of ‘In knowing a person, you may know their face, but not their heart.’ She seems quite nice on the surface, but she reported someone’s problems behind their back. I’ve got to be on guard around her in the future; I can’t just be foolish and say whatever comes to mind.” Later on, Lin Xiao inquired about the reason that my work’s results had been poor recently and what my plan was for cultivating people. I knew that I had not performed this work well. However, I feared that if I said this, she would file a report against me behind my back and then the leader would dismiss me; I would be disgraced! As the sayings go, “one should always guard against the harm others might do to him,” and “he who talks a lot errs a lot.” I should just say a few simple words about the work situation and not get into the rest of it. Thinking of this, I treated Lin Xiao’s inquiry coldly, and she felt constrained by me and didn’t dare to ask about my work. I was also pained by this, and I wanted to open up to her and chat about my state. However, I thought of how recently, when Xinjing talked about her state and told all, Lin Xiao reported her to the leader without saying a word, and as a result, Xinjing was dismissed. If I told Lin Xiao that my state was bad and also told her about the barrier that existed between us, and then she went on to report me to the leader and I got dismissed, what would I do? No, I couldn’t do that! I couldn’t let her know about my true state. I had to speak more carefully; I couldn’t just let it all spill out. During that time, things were quite awkward between us, and it was like we were strangers. She felt constrained by me and didn’t dare to check up on my work.
One day, the leader came to learn about the work situation and asked me about my state during that time. I thought to myself, “After Xinjing was dismissed, all the writing work was suddenly pushed onto me, and I now feel very stressed. I also haven’t resolved the barrier between Lin Xiao and me. All these things are constricting me so much that I feel like I can’t breathe.” I really wanted to open up to the leader and discuss this. But I mulled it over more, thinking, “She’s a leader; if I tell her about all this and she knows about my true state, won’t she say that I don’t pursue the truth and don’t learn lessons when things happen to me, and then have me dismissed?” So I didn’t tell the leader about my state. Because I was on guard against others, didn’t dare to speak sincerely, and was stressed in my duty, I wanted to escape from this environment and didn’t want to do this duty. Faced with work difficulties and barriers between me and others, I was tormented and in pain, and I lived in a depressed mood.
One day, I read a passage of God’s words and finally gained some understanding about my state. Almighty God says: “‘One should never intend to do harm to others, but should always guard against the harm others might do to him,’ and ‘In drawing a tiger, you show its skin, but not its bones; in knowing a person, you may know their face, but not their heart’ are the most basic principles for dealing with the world that parents instill in you, as well as the most fundamental criteria for viewing people and being on guard against them. The primary aim of parents is to protect you and help you protect yourself. However, from another angle, these words, thoughts, and viewpoints may make you feel even more so that the world is dangerous and people are untrustworthy, leading to an entire lack of positive feelings toward others. But how can you actually discern people and view others? Which people can you get along with, and what should be the proper relationship between people? How should one interact with others based on principles, and how can one interact fairly and harmoniously with others? Parents do not know anything about these matters. They only know how to use tricks, schemes, and various game rules and strategies for dealing with the world to guard against people, and to take advantage of and control others, in order to protect themselves from being harmed by others, no matter how much they harm others. While teaching these thoughts and viewpoints to their children, the things that parents instill into them are merely certain strategies for dealing with the world. They are nothing more than strategies. What do these strategies include? All kinds of tricks, game rules, how to please others, how to protect one’s own interests, and how to maximize personal gain. Are these principles the truth? (No, they’re not.) Are they the right path for people to follow? (No.) None of them are the right path. So, what is the essence of these thoughts that parents instill in you? They do not conform to the truth, they are not the right path, and they are not positive things. Then, what are they? (They are entirely the philosophy of Satan that corrupts us.) Looking at the results, they corrupt people. So, what is the essence of these thoughts? Like, ‘One should never intend to do harm to others, but should always guard against the harm others might do to him’—is this the correct principle for interacting with others? (No, they are wholly negative things that come from Satan.) They are negative things that come from Satan—so what is their essence and nature? Aren’t they tricks? Aren’t they strategies? Aren’t they tactics to win others over? (Yes.) They are not the practice principles for entering the truth, or positive principles and directions with which God teaches people how to comport themselves; they are strategies for dealing with the world, they are tricks” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (14)). Pondering the state that God exposed, I finally understood that I’d always lived by the satanic rules of “One should never intend to do harm to others, but should always guard against the harm others might do to him,” and “In drawing a tiger, you show its skin, but not its bones; in knowing a person, you may know their face, but not their heart.” I thought that to protect myself from being harmed and tricked, I had to be careful and vigilant with everyone. Thus, regardless of who I was engaging with, I was extremely cautious with how I spoke and acted. I usually didn’t tell people my true thoughts, and most of the time I just kept silent. That way, I wouldn’t have to suffer losses, nor would I offend people. Especially this time, when Lin Xiao reported Xinjing’s problem and Xinjing was unrepentant and then got dismissed, I lived in a state of being on guard, not daring to open up my true state to others, fearing that I’d also be dismissed one day. When I spoke to the church and group leaders, I was extremely cautious and didn’t dare to open up my heart. Most of the time, I would speak a couple simple phrases just to get it over with. I was firmly bound by Satan’s poisons, and I was even full of misgivings when going to people to seek fellowship, lacking the courage to open up and lay myself bare. I was living in pain and torment. These satanic rules seem as though they can protect people’s interests, but they teach people to be on guard and to not speak their mind when interacting with someone, and that they should always hold themselves back around others. This way, when two people are interacting, one is always on guard while the other makes assumptions, and neither of them trusts the other. They are calculating and hostile toward each other, hypocritical in how they conduct themselves. This makes people become more and more deceitful and makes them have increasingly less humanity. Only then did I see clearly that “One should never intend to do harm to others, but should always guard against the harm others might do to him” is not at all the principle that should guide one’s conduct. It is entirely Satan damaging people and playing tricks on them with its cunning plots, and even more so a means that Satan uses to corrupt people. Living by such a saying can only make people lose their normal humanity.
Later, I continued reading God’s words. Almighty God says: “Family conditioning most likely involves many more rules of the game for behaving and dealing with the world. For example, parents often say, ‘One should never intend to do harm to others, but should always guard against the harm others might do to him; you’re too foolish and credulous.’ … The thoughts they instill in you become the principles and bases for how you deal with the world. When you interact with classmates, colleagues, work partners, superiors, and every type of person in society, people from all walks of life, these protective thoughts instilled by your parents unconsciously become your most basic talisman and principle whenever you handle matters involving interpersonal relationships. What principle is this? It is: I won’t harm you, but I have to be on guard against you at all times to prevent you from deceiving or cheating me, to avoid getting into trouble or lawsuits, to prevent my family fortune from going under and the people in my family from meeting their end, and to prevent me from ending up in prison. Living under the control of such thoughts and viewpoints, living among this social group with such an attitude toward dealing with the world, you can only become more depressed, more exhausted, fatigued in both mind and body. Subsequently, you become more resistant and averse to this world and humanity, despising them more. While despising others, you begin to think less of yourself, feeling like you’re not living in a way that resembles a person, but rather, you’re living a tired and depressed life. In order to avoid being harmed by others, you have to be constantly on your guard, doing and saying things against your will. In the pursuit of protecting your own interests and personal safety, you wear a false mask in every aspect of your life and disguise yourself, never daring to speak a word of truth. In this situation, in these survival conditions, your inner self cannot find release or freedom. You often need someone who poses no harm to you and will never threaten your interests, someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and vent your frustrations, without bearing any responsibility for your words, incurring ridicules, digs, mockery, or taking any consequences. In a situation where the thought and viewpoint of ‘One should never intend to do harm to others, but should always guard against the harm others might do to him’ is your principle for dealing with the world, your inner self is filled with fear and insecurity. Naturally, you feel depressed, unable to find release, and you need someone to comfort you, someone to confide in. Therefore, judging from these aspects, although the principle for dealing with the world that your parents taught you, ‘One should never intend to do harm to others, but should always guard against the harm others might do to him,’ can succeed in protecting you, it is a double-edged sword. While it protects your physical interests and personal safety to a certain extent, it also makes you feel depressed and miserable, unable to find release, and even makes you more disenchanted with this world and humanity. At the same time, deep inside, you also faintly begin to feel fed up with having been born in such an evil era, among such an evil group of people. You can’t understand why people have to live, why life is so exhausting, why they must wear a mask and disguise themselves everywhere they go, or why you must always be on guard against others for the sake of your own interests. You wish you could speak the truth, but you can’t because of the consequences. You want to be a real person, speak and comport yourself openly, and avoid being a base person or doing vile and shameful deeds in secret, living exclusively in darkness, but you cannot do any of this” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (14)). God’s words touched the depths of my heart. Thinking back on the last twenty-odd years, I had always been living by satanic poisons such as “One should never intend to do harm to others, but should always guard against the harm others might do to him,” and “he who talks a lot errs a lot.” I had become sly and deceitful, on guard against and staying alert around everyone, never speaking to people sincerely. This resulted in me not having any close friends while I was away from home working for many years, and I was extremely lonely. After believing in God, I still lived by these satanic poisons. When Lin Xiao reported Xinjing’s problem, she was really just reporting a fact, and it was to safeguard the church’s work; it was in line with God’s intention. However, I saw it as lodging a complaint behind someone’s back, and feared that she would lodge a complaint about me to the leader in the future, getting me dismissed. Because of this, I was on guard against her. After this, although my conscience was uneasy, I didn’t dare to open up, profoundly afraid that if I spoke a wrong word or talked about my true state, it would bring me trouble, and so I lived in pain and torment. I reflected that I lived a life of such suffering and exhaustion because of my parents’ teachings and society’s influence on me from a young age. These satanic poisons made me become sly and deceitful, and I couldn’t interact with people normally. If I had resolved this problem earlier, I wouldn’t have brought harm to the church or constrained Lin Xiao. Recognizing this, I felt very remorseful. I resolved to cooperate harmoniously with the brothers and sisters in my duty going forward and be a pure and open person.
Later on, I read more of God’s words: “Some people do not believe that God’s house can treat people fairly. They do not believe that God reigns in His house, and that the truth reigns there. They believe that no matter what duty a person performs, if a problem arises in it, God’s house will handle that person immediately, stripping them of their right to perform that duty, sending them away, or even clearing them out of the church. Is that really how things work? It certainly is not. God’s house treats every person according to the truth principles. God is righteous in His treatment of every person. He does not look only at how a person behaves in a single instance; He looks at a person’s nature essence, at their intentions, at their attitude, and He looks in particular at whether a person can reflect on themselves when they make a mistake, whether they are remorseful, and whether they can penetrate the essence of the problem based on His words, come to understand the truth, hate themselves, and truly repent. … Tell Me, if a person has made a mistake, but they are capable of true understanding and willing to repent, would God’s house not give them a chance? As God’s six-thousand-year management plan draws to a close, there are so many duties that need to be performed. But if you have no conscience or reason, and don’t attend to your proper work, if you have gained the opportunity to perform a duty but do not know to treasure it, do not pursue the truth in the least, letting the best time pass them by, then you will be revealed. If you are consistently perfunctory in performing your duty, and you do not submit at all when faced with being pruned, will God’s house still use you to perform a duty? In God’s house, it is the truth that reigns, not Satan. God has the final say over everything. It is He who is doing the work of saving man, it is He who holds sovereignty over everything. There is no need for you to analyze what is right and wrong, you just need to listen and submit. When faced with being pruned, you must accept the truth and be able to correct your mistakes. If you do, God’s house will not strip you of your right to perform a duty. If you are always afraid of being cast out, always giving excuses, always justifying yourself, that is a problem. If you let others see that you do not accept the truth in the least, and that you are impervious to reason, you are in trouble. The church will be obliged to handle you. If you do not accept the truth at all in performing your duty and are always afraid of being revealed and cast out, then this fear of yours is tainted with human intent and a corrupt satanic disposition, and with suspicion, guardedness, and misapprehension. None of these are attitudes that a person should have” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). From God’s words, I understood that I was afraid of being dismissed because I did not know God’s righteous disposition or understand the principles of God’s house in dismissing people. In reality, when God’s house dismisses and eliminates a person, this is not just done casually based on that person’s temporary behavior or a mistake they made. Rather, that person is given a chance to repent to the greatest extent possible, and only if that person never reverses course and brings harm to the work will they be dismissed. Meanwhile, there are others who reveal some corruptions, but with the fellowshipping and help of the brothers and sisters, they’re able to repent to God and reverse their deviations. Such people will not be dismissed and eliminated. Xinjing enjoyed fleshly comforts and had no sense of burden in her duty. She opposed the leader supervising and checking the work and even spread negativity at gatherings. Lin Xiao pointed out her problem and helped her multiple times, but Xinjing didn’t show any repentant behavior. Only then did Lin Xiao report Xinjing’s problem. Xinjing being dismissed complied with the principles and was God’s righteousness. However, I didn’t discern her, nor did I know God’s righteous disposition, and I lived in a state of guardedness and misunderstanding. I thought I also had a state that was opposed to the leader’s supervision, and so I was worried that if I talked about my true state, I would be dismissed. Because of this, I was afraid that Lin Xiao and the leader would learn about my state. In fact, God’s words state numerous times that God saves corrupt mankind. People revealing corruptions and having deviations in their work is normal. What matters is whether or not they can reflect and repent to God. It’s just like God said: “God’s mercy and tolerance are not rare—man’s true repentance is” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique II). Besides, Lin Xiao fellowshipped with and helped Xinjing repeatedly after discovering her problem. Xin Jing still didn’t reverse course, so she had to be promptly reported according to the principles. This was the responsibility that each of God’s chosen people should fulfill, and it was done to safeguard the church’s work. However, I even complained that Lin Xiao had reported Xinjing’s problem to the leader without a word, and was on guard against and misunderstood her. Only at this time did I see that not only was my disposition deceitful, my understanding was also quite distorted.
I had another fallacious view when Xinjing was dismissed. I believed that if I opened up my true state during a gathering, this would be defined as giving vent to negativity, and so I didn’t dare to say what was on my mind. Then, I read a passage of God’s words that were quoted in an experiential testimony article and finally came to understand that this view wasn’t in line with the truth. Almighty God says: “Basically, these are the various states and manifestations of people who release negativity. When their desire for pursuing status, fame, and gain has not been fulfilled, when God does things that run contrary to their notions and imaginings, things that involve their interests, they become ensnared in the emotions of defiance and dissatisfaction. And when they have these emotions, their minds start to produce excuses, pretexts, justifications, defenses, and other thoughts of complaint. At this time, they do not praise God or submit to Him, and even less so do they seek the truth to know themselves; instead, they fight back against God using their notions, imaginings, ideas and opinions, or impetuousness. And how do they fight back? They spread their emotions of defiance and dissatisfaction, using this to make their thoughts and opinions clear to God, trying to make God act according to their wishes and demands in order to satisfy their desires; only then are their emotions appeased. In particular, God expresses many truths to judge and chastise people, to purify their corrupt dispositions, to save people from the influence of Satan, and who knows how many people’s dreams of being blessed have been cut short by these truths, shattering the fantasy of being raised into heaven that they hoped for day and night. They want to do everything they can to turn things around—but they are powerless, they can only be plunged into disaster with negativity and resentment. They feel defiant toward all of this that God has arranged, because what God does is in conflict with their notions, interests, and thinking. In particular, when the church does the work of cleansing and eliminates many people, these people think that God does not save them, that He has spurned them, that they are being treated unfairly, and so they want to unite in opposition, they try to deny that God is the truth, deny the identity and essence of God, and deny the righteous disposition of God. Of course, they also try to deny the fact of God’s sovereignty over all things. And by what means do they deny all this? Through resistance and opposition. The implication is, ‘What God does is at odds with my notions, and so I do not submit, I do not believe that You are the truth. I am going to clamor against You, and will spread these things in the church and among people! I will say whatever I want, and I don’t care what the consequences are. I have freedom of speech, You can’t shut me up, I’ll say what I want. What can You do?’ When these people insist on broadcasting their wrong ideas and viewpoints, are they talking of their own understanding? Are they fellowshipping about the truth? Absolutely not. They are spreading negativity, they are propagating heresies and fallacies. They are not trying to know or expose their own corruption, or expose the things they have done that are at odds with the truth, nor are they exposing the mistakes they have made; instead, they are doing their utmost to rationalize and defend their mistakes to prove that they are right, and at the same time are also making an absurd judgment, and broadcasting adverse and distorted viewpoints, as well as twisted and incorrect doctrines and heresies. The effect on God’s chosen people in the church is to mislead and disrupt them; it can even plunge some people into a state of negativity and confusion—which are all the adverse effects and disturbances caused by people releasing negativity” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (17)). From God’s words, I understood that with people who vent negativity, when something happens that isn’t to their liking or involves their reputation, status, or fleshly interests, they don’t seek the truth or try to ponder God’s intention, but rather take on a mood of disobedience, dissatisfaction, and opposition, spreading their notions and imaginings or fallacious views. This is what venting negativity means. When someone who truly believes in God is faced with something that isn’t to their liking, although they reveal corruptions and have notions and misunderstandings, they have a God-fearing heart and can seek the truth and not speak carelessly with matters they don’t understand. If they open up their state to the brothers and sisters, their aim is to seek the truth, resolve their corruptions, and achieve true repentance and change. Meanwhile, people who exude negativity and spread notions appear to be opening up their states on the surface, but they are not doing it to seek the truth and resolve their problems, and are instead using opening up their state as a way to give vent to their disobedience and dissatisfaction. With people who don’t understand the way things really are or understand the truth, it’s easy to be misled by them, to take their side and develop notions toward and misunderstandings about God or the work of God’s house. Xinjing saw that the leader checked up closely on the work, which meant her flesh must suffer and pay a price, and so she became unwilling, repeatedly spreading notions and giving vent to her dissatisfied mood during gatherings. Lin Xiao fellowshipped with and helped her numerous times, but she never reversed course. When she opened up her state, it wasn’t to seek the truth or resolve her problems; she was just giving vent to her dissatisfaction with the leaders and workers. Judging from these behaviors, Xinjing was giving vent to negativity. Meanwhile, I mistakenly believed that talking about my corrupt state during gatherings meant I was giving vent to negativity, and so I didn’t dare to say what was on my mind. My understanding was truly so distorted. Recognizing this, I prayed in repentance to God, “God, I’ve believed in You for so many years, but when matters have befallen me, I haven’t sought the truth. Rather, I’ve lived in a state of deceit, suspicion, and guarding against others. God, please guide me to find the correct path to practice and to emerge from these incorrect views.”
Later on, when I was seeking as to how I could resolve my problem, I read this passage of God’s words: “Your family often tells you, ‘One should never intend to do harm to others, but should always guard against the harm others might do to him.’ In reality, the practice of letting go of this thought is simple: Just act according to the principles God tells people. ‘The principles God tells people’—this phrase is quite broad. How is it specifically practiced? You don’t need to dissect whether you have an intention to do harm to others, nor do you need to guard yourself against others. So, what should you do? In one respect, you should be able to properly maintain harmonious relationships with others; in another, when dealing with various people, you should use God’s words as a basis and the truth as a criterion to discern what kind of person they are, and then treat them based on the corresponding principles. It’s that simple. If they are brothers and sisters, treat them as such; if they are earnest in their pursuit, and make sacrifices and expend themselves, then treat them as brothers and sisters who sincerely perform their duty. If they are nonbelievers, unwilling to perform their duty, just wishing to live their lives, then you shouldn’t treat them as brothers and sisters but as unbelievers. When you view people, you should look at what type of person they are, their disposition, humanity, and their attitude toward God and the truth. If they can accept the truth and are willing to practice it, treat them as true brothers and sisters, as family. If their humanity is bad, and they only pay lip service to willingly practicing the truth, having the ability to discuss doctrine but never practicing the truth, then treat them as mere service-doers, not as family. What do these principles tell you? They tell you the principle with which to treat different types of people—this is a principle we have often discussed, that is, treating people with wisdom. Wisdom is a general term, but specifically, it means having distinct methods and principles for dealing with different types of people—all based on the truth, not on personal feelings, personal preferences, personal views, on the advantages and disadvantages they present for you, or on their age, but solely on God’s words. Therefore, in dealing with people, you don’t need to examine whether you have an intention to do harm to others or guard yourself against others. If you treat people with the principles and methods God has given you, all temptations will be avoided, and you won’t fall into any temptations or conflicts. It’s that simple” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (14)). From God’s words, I found a path to practice. One should first discern different kinds of people based on the truth principles. If a person sincerely believes in God and loves the truth, then they should be treated as a brother or sister, and one can purely open up to them. The leader and Lin Xiao were both sisters who sincerely believed in God and pursued the truth. They were in charge of our work, and if there was a problem or if I ran into difficulties in the work, or if a barrier developed between us, I ought to purely open up to them, seeking fellowship. This way, they could get a grasp on my state and promptly help me resolve it, which was beneficial to my life entry as well as to the church work. On the contrary, if I never opened up, always living in an incorrect state, then not only would my life suffer losses, I would also delay the work. Now that I understood God’s intention and His demands, when I interacted with the brothers and sisters going forward, I had to be honest, pure, and open.
Later on, a sister named Su Rui was put in charge of our work. At the time, my work results were poor and my state was somewhat negative. When Su Rui came to gather with us, she asked me how my state was and how my work had gone lately. I thought to myself, “My state still hasn’t been completely reversed, and there are still some deviations in my work. If I talk about my true state, will Su Rui report my problem to the leader and get me dismissed?” I didn’t want to speak about my true state. However, I thought that if I didn’t speak about this problem, it would never be resolved, and I was quite conflicted. Then, Su Rui asked the sister I was partnered with about her recent state, and I saw that she was able to purely speak all about it. I was quite envious of her, thinking, “Why don’t I dare to open up?” Afterward, I read God’s words that say: “No matter the thought, if it is wrong and goes against the truth, the only correct path you should choose is to let it go. The accurate practice of letting go is this: The criteria or basis on which you view, do, or handle this matter should no longer be the erroneous thoughts instilled by your family, but should be based on God’s words instead. Although this process may require you to pay some price, making you feel like you are acting against your will, that you are losing face, and may even result in suffering a loss to your fleshly interests, no matter what you face, you should persistently align your practice with God’s words and the principles He tells you, and you shouldn’t give up. The process of this transformation will surely be challenging, it won’t be smooth sailing. Why won’t it be smooth? It’s a contest between negative and positive things, a contest between evil thoughts from Satan and the truth, and also a contest between your will and desire to accept the truth and positive things versus the erroneous thoughts and viewpoints in your heart. Since there is a contest, one may suffer and should pay a price—this is what you must do” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (14)). God’s words gave me the courage to practice the truth. If I wanted to let go of these fallacious thoughts and views, I had to rebel against my flesh, abandon my interests, and practice according to the truth principles. Su Rui was in charge of my work; I ought to open up to her about my true state and my work deviations. If I was still deceitful, played tricks, and was on guard against her, then my problems wouldn’t be resolved as quickly as possible, and I wouldn’t be able to promptly correct the deviations in my work. So, I spoke to her about my state and about these deviations, and she used God’s words to fellowship with me, helping me turn my state around a bit. Experiencing this, I came to understand firsthand that when one lives by Satan’s fallacious thoughts and views, not only does it not bring them benefits, it also causes them to live without normal humanity. Only if one views people and things, comports themselves, and acts based on God’s words can they find peace of mind and liberation in their heart.
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