By Fang Zheng, China

In August 2021, the supervisor told me she was planning to have Brother Wang Jin and me cooperate in doing text-based duty, and that as soon as a suitable host family was found, she would arrange for us to go there. The moment I heard this, I immediately felt resistant, and my mind was filled with all the unpleasant history between Wang Jin and me.

Back when I was doing text-based duty, I was the one who took the lead in our group at first. The brothers and sisters I cooperated with rarely raised objections or pointed out problems in the communication letters I wrote, and the supervisor would always discuss things with me. But after Wang Jin joined the group, he would often have different opinions about the letters I wrote and point out issues. Even though he was right, I was unwilling to accept it. I had been in the group for so long, and no one had ever pointed out my shortcomings so bluntly. His comments made it seem like I wasn’t as good as him. There were two times when he pointed out problems in my articles right in front of the supervisor, and I found this especially hard to accept. I thought to myself, “Will the supervisor think that even after all this time doing text-based duty, I still don’t grasp the principles as well as someone who has just started training? How will I be able to show my face?” When I thought this way, I felt that Wang Jin was deliberately picking on me, trying to embarrass me in public, and I couldn’t help but become prejudiced against him. It made me feel a sense of crisis especially when I saw him fellowshipping with great clarity and reason in front of the supervisor. I felt like he had stolen my thunder and cost me my place in the supervisor’s heart. Later, when we were learning computer skills together, Wang Jin ran into a problem and asked me for help. I thought to myself, “Aren’t you so capable? Aren’t you always saying I’m not good at this or can’t do that? Since I’m worse than you at everything, why are you even asking me?” I genuinely didn’t want to teach him, and I spoke to him with an impatient tone. After some time, Wang Jin said to me, “Brother, through this period of interacting with you, I’ve found that not only do you have an arrogant disposition and refuse to accept the truth, but you also have a strong desire for status. If you continue like this, I’m afraid you’ll end up becoming an antichrist.” Hearing him say that, my face burned with shame, as if I’d been slapped in the face. I felt awful, “It’s one thing to call me arrogant, but how could he say I would become an antichrist? Isn’t he just casually slapping a label on me? What kind of person is an antichrist? They are the people whom God hates and eliminates, and whom the brothers and sisters reject. If my brothers and sisters found out about this, what would they think of me?” Every time I thought back on these things, I felt a strong aversion to Wang Jin and never wanted to cooperate with him in doing duties again.

I never imagined the church would arrange for us to cooperate again. I thought to myself, “It won’t do. I have to find a way to persuade the supervisor. I can’t let him join the group no matter what.” But I was worried that if I told the truth, the supervisor would think I was a nitpicking busybody, and that I didn’t know myself at all. So, I beat around the bush and said, “Although Wang Jin has done text-based duty before, he’s never edited sermons. Besides, his asthma and cervical spondylosis are quite serious, and he’s getting older. He’s not really suitable for this duty.” But the supervisor replied, “When Wang Jin did text-based duty before, his professional skills were the best in the group, and he has some grasp of the principles. You two can cooperate for now.” Hearing that, I felt a little disappointed. The thought of having to face someone who was always pointing out my problems every day left me feeling stifled inside; I couldn’t even describe what it felt like. A few days later, the leader came for a gathering, and in front of her, I again feigned concern for Wang Jin, saying he was getting old and was in poor health, and that I was afraid he couldn’t handle the pressure of doing text-based duty. After saying this, I felt a slight twinge of self-reproach, knowing I wasn’t speaking what was genuinely in my heart. But when I thought about how my words would might convince the leader not to let Wang Jin join the group, that little bit of unease vanished. To my surprise, the leader’s view was exactly the same as the supervisor’s. I was incredibly upset. When I got home, I said some judgmental things about Wang Jin to my wife. After listening, she reminded me, saying “No matter who we cooperate with, there’s always a lesson we need to learn. You are constantly fixated on others—this is not a manifestation of pursuing the truth!” I knew she was right, but I still didn’t want to cooperate with Wang Jin, nor did I properly reflect on myself. I was still hoping that the leader wouldn’t be able to find a suitable host family, so that I wouldn’t have to cooperate with him.

One night, after 11 o’clock, I suddenly came down with a high fever of 42 degrees Celsius. I felt like a limp heap, lying weak and dizzy in bed, curled up and shaking under the covers. My wife quickly started rubbing my body with alcohol to bring the fever down. As she rubbed, she said, “For you to suddenly get such a high fever, don’t you think you should reflect on yourself? For the past few days, you’ve just been finding fault with Wang Jin, but don’t you have your own lessons to learn? Could getting such a severe illness be God’s discipline?” I realized that I truly needed to reflect on myself. I silently prayed to God, asking Him to guide me to understand my own problems.

Later, I read a passage of God’s words and gained some understanding of my state. Almighty God says: “When confronted with a problem, some people do seek an answer from others, but when the other person speaks according to the truth, they don’t accept it, they are not able to obey, and in their hearts, they think, ‘I’m normally better than him. If I listen to his suggestion this time, won’t it look like he’s superior to me? No, I can’t listen to him on this matter. I’ll just do it my way.’ Then they find a reason and an excuse to shoot down the other person’s point of view. When they see someone who is better than them, they try to bring them down, fabricate baseless rumors about them, or employ despicable means to denigrate them and undermine their reputation—even trampling all over them—in order to protect their own place in people’s minds. What kind of disposition is it? This is not just arrogance and conceit, it is the disposition of Satan, it is a malicious disposition. That this person attacks and excludes people who are better than them and superior to them is insidious and wicked. And that they stop at nothing to bring people down shows that there is a considerable demonic nature within them! Living by the disposition of Satan, they belittle people, they try to frame them, and they torment them. Is this not evildoing? And despite living like this, they still think that they are fine, that they’re a good person. But when they see someone who is superior to them, they torment them and trample all over them. What is the issue here? Are people who commit such evil deeds not unscrupulous and wanton? Such people only consider their own interests and their own feelings, and all they want is to achieve their own desires, ambitions, and aims. They don’t care how much damage is caused to the work of the church, and they would prefer to sacrifice the interests of the house of God to protect their status in people’s minds and their own reputation. Are people like this not arrogant and self-righteous, selfish and vile? Such people are not only arrogant and self-righteous, they are also extremely selfish and vile. They are not considerate of God’s intentions at all. Do such people have God-fearing hearts? They do not have God-fearing hearts at all. This is why they act wantonly and do whatever they want, without any sense of blame, without any fear, without any apprehension or worry, and without considering the consequences. This is what they often do, and how they have always behaved. What is the nature of such behavior? To put it lightly, such people are far too jealous and have too strong a desire for personal reputation and status; they are too deceitful and insidious. To put it more harshly, the essence of the problem is that such people have no God-fearing hearts at all. They are not frightened of God, they believe themselves to be of utmost importance, and they regard everything about themselves as being higher than God and higher than the truth. In their hearts, God is not worthy of mention and is insignificant, and God does not have any status in their hearts at all. Can those who have no place for God in their hearts, and who do not have God-fearing hearts, put the truth into practice? Absolutely not. So, when they typically go around energetically keeping themselves busy and exerting quite a lot of efforts, what are they doing? Such people even claim to have forsaken everything to expend for God and suffered a great deal, but actually, the motive, principle, and objective of all their actions are for the sake of their own status and prestige, of protecting all of their interests. Would you or would you not say that this sort of person is terrible? What kind of people have believed in God for many years, yet have no God-fearing hearts? Are they not arrogant? Are they not Satans? And what things most lack a God-fearing heart? Apart from the beasts, it is the evil and the antichrists, the devils and Satan’s ilk. They don’t accept the truth at all; they are entirely without a God-fearing heart. They are capable of any evil; they are the enemies of God, and the enemies of His chosen people” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Five Conditions That Must Be Met to Embark on the Right Track of Belief in God). What this passage of God’s words exposes was exactly my state. After reading it, I felt pierced to the heart and afraid. I thought back to how, when we were discussing issues in the past, the brothers and sisters in the group tended to agree with my views. The supervisor would also consult with me on issues she couldn’t see through. This had given me a sense of superiority. But ever since I started cooperating with Wang Jin, and saw how he fellowshipped with such clarity and reason in front of the supervisor while also seeming to grasp the principles better than I did, it made me feel a sense of crisis. On top of that, he was always able to find my problems, saying bits of my letters were bad or inappropriate, and he even pointed out the problems in my articles in front of the supervisor. This hurt my pride and threatened my status. So, when the leader arranged for us to cooperate this time, I was especially resistant, thinking, “If I cooperate with him this time and he keeps pointing out my problems like before, won’t I lose face all over again?” To keep him out of the group, I said he had never edited sermons, and under the guise of being concerned about his health, I tried to persuade the leader and supervisor not to let him train in the group. When my attempts failed, I said judgmental things about Wang Jin to my wife to vent my dissatisfaction. I even hoped desperately that the leader wouldn’t be able to find a suitable host family for us, just so I wouldn’t have to cooperate with him. To protect my own pride and status, I was completely disregarding the work of the church. I was so selfish and despicable, so devoid of humanity! It was only through the revelation of the facts that I saw that I had a deep desire for reputation and status, an extremely malicious nature, and no God-fearing heart at all. The truth is, no one is perfect, and no duty can be completed by just one person alone. The leader arranged for Wang Jin and me to cooperate due to the needs of the church’s work. If I were to write the sermons by myself, there would surely be many deviations and shortcomings. With two people complementing each other, the results of our work would be better. But I had failed to understand God’s intentions and even tried everything I could to stop Wang Jin from joining the group. I truly didn’t know what was good for me. Realizing this, I felt deep regret and self-reproach, and I resolved never to commit such evil again.

Afterward, I pondered, “What corrupt disposition was causing me to be so resistant to cooperating with Wang Jin?” I read the words of God and gained more understanding of my problem. Almighty God says: “What is the main objective of an antichrist when they attack and exclude a dissenter? They seek to create a situation in the church where there are no voices contrary to their own, where their power and their leadership status are absolute, where their words are absolute and must be heeded by everyone, and where even if someone has a difference of opinion, they must not express it, but let it fester in their heart. Anyone who dares to openly disagree with them becomes their enemy, and they will use every possible method to torment them, and desperately wish to make them disappear. This is one of the ways that an antichrist attacks and excludes a dissenter, consolidates their status, and protects their power. They think, ‘It’s fine for you to have different opinions, but you can’t go around talking about them as you please, much less compromise my power and status. If you have an objection, you can say it to me in private. If you say it in front of everyone and cause me to lose face, you are asking for trouble, and I’ll have to take care of you!’ What kind of disposition is this? An antichrist does not permit others to speak freely. If other people have an objection to the antichrist or an opinion about anything else, they cannot just bring it up freely; they must consider the antichrist’s pride. If not, the antichrist will treat them as an enemy, attacking and excluding them. What kind of nature is this? It is the nature of an antichrist. And why do they do this? They do not allow the church to have any alternative voices, they do not permit any dissenters in the church, and they do not allow God’s chosen people to openly fellowship on the truth and discern people. What they fear most is being exposed and discerned by people; they want to ensure that their power and the status they hold in people’s hearts are always being consolidated and never undermined. They could never tolerate anything that threatens or affects their pride, reputation, or their standing and worth as a leader. Is this not a manifestation of the malicious nature of antichrists? Not content with the power they already possess, they consolidate and secure it and seek eternal domination. Not only do they want to control others’ behavior, but also their hearts. These methods that antichrists use are wholly in order to protect their power and status, and are entirely the result of their desire to hold on to power. … This is especially true when a dissenter is present, and the antichrist hears that the dissenter has said something about them or criticized them behind their back. In this case, they will resolve the matter in short order, even if it means missing a night’s sleep and a day’s food. How is it that they can exert such effort? It is because they feel that their status is in peril, that it has been challenged. They feel that if they do not take such action, their power and status will be in danger—that once their evil deeds and scandalous conduct are exposed, they will not only be unable to hold onto their status and power, but will also be cleared out or expelled from the church. That is why they are desperately impatient in thinking of ways to suppress the matter and dispel all hidden perils to them. This is the only way they can hold on to their status” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Two: They Attack and Exclude Dissenters). God says that antichrists exclude dissenters. They don’t allow any different voices to exist in the church, they must have the final say in everything, and everyone must listen to them. As soon as someone offers a suggestion or points out their shortcomings, causing them to lose face and their status in others’ hearts, they immediately treat that person as a dissenter and an enemy. They even resort to any means to exclude and suppress them to solidify their own power and status. This is a manifestation of the malicious nature of antichrists. I reflected on what I had revealed—wasn’t I just the same as an antichrist? When Wang Jin discovered problems in my duty and pointed them out bluntly, not only did I fail to accept it from a positive perspective, but I felt he was hurting my pride. No matter how right he was or how much his words accorded with the facts, I wouldn’t accept it, and even became prejudiced and held it against him. Later, when he was learning computer skills and encountered difficulties, he asked me for help in a kind and gentle manner, but I gave him the cold shoulder to dampen his enthusiasm. Even worse, I was well aware that Wang Jin had done text-based duty before and had some grasp of the principles, and that his poor health didn’t affect his ability to do his duty. But, just because he always pointed out my problems, which impinged on my pride and status, I saw him as a dissenter and an enemy. I used his poor health and his lack of experience in editing sermons as excuses to try to persuade the leader and the supervisor not to let him train in the group. To protect my own pride and status, I had done so many things to attack and exclude a dissenter. My nature was so malicious! The root cause of me being capable of doing all these despicable and vile evil deeds was the satanic poisons I lived by, such as “In all the universe, only I reign supreme,” “There can only be one alpha male,” and “A real man must be ruthless.” These things had become my nature, making me want to have the final say in any group of people I was in. Whenever I saw someone better than me, I couldn’t treat them fairly. Especially when their words or actions hurt my pride or threatened my status. I treated them as a thorn in my side, suppressing and excluding them, and even regarding them as an enemy. I thought about the antichrists and evil people who had been expelled from God’s house. They were utterly averse to the truth and hated the truth, never accepting correct suggestions from others. As soon as anyone impinged on their pride and status, they would suppress and torment them, fantasizing of getting rid of anyone who wouldn’t follow them and turning the church into their own domain. They were expelled because of the many evil deeds they had committed and the severe disturbance they brought to the church’s work. If I didn’t repent, and continued to act according to my corrupt dispositions, attacking and excluding dissenters to protect my own reputation and status, then ultimately I would definitely be spurned and eliminated by God. Realizing this, I felt both regretful and afraid, and I quickly prayed to God, “O God, I was wrong. I have been too deeply corrupted by Satan. To protect my own pride and status, I was unwilling to cooperate with my brother, and I even judged and excluded him. God, I am willing to repent. Please guide me to find a path of practice.”

Later, I read the words of God and came to know how to practice. Almighty God says: “You must get close to people who can speak truthfully to you; having people like this beside you is greatly to your advantage. In particular, having such good people around you as those who, when they discover a problem with you, have the courage to reproach you and expose you, can prevent you from going astray. They don’t care what your status is, and the moment they discover that you have done something against the truth principles, they will reproach and expose you if necessary. Only such people are upright people, people with a sense of justice. No matter how they expose and reproach you, it is all helpful to you, and it is all about supervising you and pushing you forward. You must draw close to such people; with such people beside you to help you, you become much safer—this is what it is to have God’s protection. Having people who understand the truth and uphold principles by your side every day supervising you is so beneficial to you doing your duty and work well” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Four: They Exalt and Testify About Themselves). After reading God’s words, I understood that having someone by my side who dares to speak truthfully and to expose and point out my problems is incredibly beneficial for my duty and my life entry. I thought back to when I had cooperated with Wang Jin. Whenever he found a problem in an article I wrote, he would point it out directly. Although it was hard on my pride at the time, the results were indeed much better after making revisions according to his suggestions. I realized I should accept others’ pointers and help; even when being pruned, I should first accept it from God and submit. Without someone like him to point my problems out and help me, my duty would surely be full of deviations and flaws, which would be detrimental to the church’s work. Moreover, it wouldn’t be easy for me to understand my own corrupt dispositions. I thought about how I used to have the final say in everything in the group, and none of the brothers and sisters ever gave me any suggestions. I came to believe I was good at everything and understood everything. This only fueled my arrogant disposition and made me see myself as above everyone else. After Wang Jin started cooperating with me, he would speak up as soon as he saw a problem. This allowed me to gain some awareness of my own problems and the corruption I was revealing, and thus to rein myself in and avoid doing things that would offend God’s disposition. Wang Jin was not pointing out my problems and shortcomings to my face to attack or suppress me, and he certainly didn’t mean to condemn me. His purpose was to safeguard the church’s work; he was genuinely trying to help me. Yet when faced with such a good person with a sense of justice, not only was I ungrateful for his pointers and help, but I also mistook his good intentions for malice and used despicable and malicious means to suppress and exclude him. This not only hurt him but also brought disruption and disturbance to the work. I truly couldn’t distinguish good from evil or right from wrong! I decided that when I cooperated with Wang Jin again, I would be sure to accept his suggestions properly.

Soon after, the brothers and sisters found a suitable house, and Wang Jin and I began to cooperate in doing our duty together. At first, when Wang Jin pointed out my problems, I still struggled to let go of my pride. I thought, “He’s never edited sermons before. If he can find problems in the sermons I’ve edited, doesn’t that prove I’m not as good as him? What will he think of me?” When I had this thought, I realized I was living for pride and status again, so I consciously sought God’s words to read. I read the words of God: “You must first practice rebelling against your flesh, let go of your own vanity and pride, let go of your own interests, throw yourself—both body and mind—into your duty, do your duty with a submissive heart, and think that it’s fine for you to suffer any hardship as long as you satisfy God. If you encounter difficulties, and you pray to God and seek the truth, see how God leads you, and whether or not you have peace and joy in your heart, whether or not you have this confirmation” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. In Giving One’s Heart to God, One Can Obtain the Truth). God’s words showed me the path forward. I had to let go of my pride, put my heart and mind into my duty, and do my duty well; only then would I be attending to my proper work. In truth, everyone has different strengths. Only by giving play to our own strengths and learning from each other’s strengths to make up for our weaknesses will we achieve good results in doing our duty. Reputation and status are just empty things. Even if everyone looks up to me, that doesn’t mean I possess the truth reality, and still less can it allow me to attain salvation. If I don’t understand the truth and haven’t cast off my corrupt dispositions, in the end, I’ll still be sent to hell for punishment. After realizing this, when Wang Jin pointed out my problems to me again, I wasn’t so resistant. Instead, I would look up the relevant principles based on the problems he pointed out and study them. By practicing in this way, not only were the problems resolved quickly, but I also felt a sense of peace and ease in my heart. Our relationship also became more and more harmonious. I thank God from the bottom of my heart!