By Jiang Ping, China

Before, when I believed in the Lord Jesus, I often read the Bible and spread the Lord’s gospel. After believing in Almighty God and reading His words, I learned that Almighty God expresses the truth in the last days to do the work of judging people—to cleanse them and to save them. So, I became even more active in my duty to spread the gospel. Through practice, I became clearer about the truth of testifying to God’s work, grasped the principles of preaching the gospel and gained some experience, so my preaching was quite effective. My brothers and sisters all said that I was really good at it, and that I could grasp the gospel candidates’ notions and fellowship to resolve them. The problems they found difficult weren’t much of a challenge for me. Later, while I was preaching the gospel, I was arrested by the police and sentenced to one year in prison. Once I was out, I quickly started preaching the gospel again. Many of my brothers and sisters had only just learned how to preach the gospel, and they weren’t getting great results, so the leader put me in charge of the gospel work. With my brothers and sisters, I analyzed some notions that were commonly held by gospel candidates, and explained how to resolve them through fellowship. Sometimes we’d encounter gospel candidates with a lot of religious notions, and the brothers and sisters would fellowship with them multiple times to no effect. But when I fellowshipped with them, I would quickly resolve their notions. As time passed, our church’s gospel work obtained better and better results. And, slowly, I began to admire myself. I thought I really had a high caliber, and that I could easily resolve problems the other brothers and sisters couldn’t. I thought that I was a rare talent. I began to think more and more highly of myself, and scorned the others for their inattentiveness and poor caliber.

One time, a sister who watered newcomers came to me. She said that a newcomer raised some questions, and wanted me to fellowship with them. I was so annoyed with her. I thought, “Why can’t you resolve such a simple problem? Are you that inattentive in your duty, that unburdened? Is your caliber so bad that you can’t even resolve a newcomer’s notions?” So I berated her, saying, “If you can’t even water a newcomer well, what use are you?” My sister just bowed her head, and said nothing. Tears fell from her eyes. I knew it wasn’t right to say that. But I thought, “If I’m not tough with her, then she won’t take it to heart, and she won’t improve.” After that, she didn’t dare come to me when she had a problem. She was negative, and constrained. She felt that her caliber was too poor to do her duty and water newcomers. I knew how she felt, but I didn’t reflect on myself. I didn’t fellowship or try to help her. In my mind, I belittled her: Wasn’t it delaying things to have her do this work when she couldn’t solve such simple problems? So, after that, I stopped her from watering that newcomer. Another time, a church leader and I held a gathering for newcomers. But after the leader’s fellowship, the newcomers’ problems weren’t resolved. I thought, “You’re the leader, but you can’t even water the newcomers.” So, I took the initiative and asked them, “Did you all understand what the sister said just now?” They shook their heads and said that they were still unclear. After that, I spoke with them at length about the three stages of God’s work. They listened happily, and many of them said, “Now that you’ve put it like this, we understand.” Seeing that they had this attitude toward me made me feel so happy. I felt that I was better than the leader at preaching the gospel and watering.

Afterward, I constantly showed myself off and belittled others. My disposition became more and more arrogant. I imposed my will on all work-related matters, big or small. I just thought I was better than my brothers and sisters, and that even if I discussed things with them, it would be all up to me anyway, so I might as well just make my decisions and avoid wasting time. And with the preaching and watering work, I felt like everyone else was below me, and that it was better if I did it all myself. So, I began preaching and watering at the same time. I took on all sorts of jobs by myself. I was so busy that my feet hardly touched the ground. But then the leader found out that I wasn’t training anyone, that I wasn’t letting the others practice, and she pruned me. She said, “You’re taking care of everything by yourself. Don’t you think this is arrogant?” Even faced with being pruned and reproached, I didn’t think it was a big deal. Every day, from dawn till dusk, I was busy preaching and watering the newcomers. This was bearing a burden for my duty in my opinion. I also thought that my caliber and working abilities were good, and that, as long as I got results, my arrogance wasn’t a problem. Afterward, I kept doing things my own way. Whatever matter arose, I’d deal with it myself, without talking to the others. Some of my brothers and sisters felt constrained. They thought they weren’t good enough, and lived in negativity. Others became especially dependent on me. They took on no burden in their duties, always waiting for my instructions, and this affected the gospel work and the watering work. Not long after all this, my eyes started chronically tearing up. Sometimes it got so bad I couldn’t see. The doctor said that my tear ducts were blocked, and that I needed surgery. While I was walking home, I started thinking, “Suddenly getting this eye disease, there must be God’s intention behind it. Have I offended God somehow?” That’s when I started to reflect on the state in which I’d been doing my duty. I prayed to God in my heart, asking Him to enlighten me, so I could understand my problem.

When I got home, I read these words of God: “Some people who have done a little work and led a church quite well think that they are superior to others, and often spread words such as: ‘Why does God put me in an important position? Why does He keep mentioning my name? Why does He keep talking to me? God thinks highly of me because I have caliber and because I am above ordinary people. You are even jealous that God treats me better. What have you got to be jealous of? Can you not see how much work I do and how much of a sacrifice I make? You shouldn’t be jealous of whatever good things God gives me, because I deserve them. I have worked for many years and suffered so much. I deserve credit and am qualified.’ There are others who say: ‘God allowed me to join co-worker meetings and listen to His fellowship. I have this qualification—do you have that? Firstly, I have a high caliber, and I pursue the truth more than you do. What’s more, I expend myself more than you, and I can get the church’s work done—can you?’ This is arrogance. The results of people’s performance of their duties and their work are different. Some have good results, whereas others have poor results. Some people are born with good caliber and are also able to seek the truth, so the results of their duties improve quickly. This is because of their good caliber, which is predestined by God. But how to solve the problem of poor results from performing one’s duty? You must constantly seek the truth and work hard, then you too can gradually achieve good results. As long as you strive for the truth and achieve to the limit of your abilities, God will approve. But regardless of whether your work results are good or not, you should not have erroneous ideas. Do not think, ‘I am qualified to be God’s equal,’ ‘I am qualified to enjoy what God has given me,’ ‘I am qualified to make God praise me,’ ‘I am qualified to lead others,’ or ‘I am qualified to lecture others.’ Do not say you are qualified. People should not have these thoughts. If you do have these thoughts, it proves that you are not in your rightful place, and you don’t even have the basic sense that a human being should possess. So how can you cast off your arrogant disposition? You cannot” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. An Arrogant Nature Is at the Root of Man’s Resistance to God). God’s words exposed my state. I realized that my behavior had been dominated by my arrogant nature. When I’d gotten results doing the preaching and watering work, I’d felt uplifted. I’d thought that my abilities and caliber were so good, that I was indispensable to the gospel work. I took these skills as capital. I was so arrogant that I disregarded everyone else. I acted like I was above the others, berating them and constraining them. When my sister had difficulties watering the newcomers, I didn’t help her to resolve the problem—I just used my status to rebuke her. And when the leader and I watered the newcomers together, and the leader didn’t resolve their problems, I didn’t cooperate with the fellowship. Instead, I looked down on the leader, and deliberately showed her up in front of the newcomers. When problems arose at work, I didn’t seek the truth principles or discuss things with my brothers and sisters. I thought that I had the experience to see through things clearly, that I could decide and take care of everything myself. I didn’t give anyone else the chance to practice, and even when I was pruned, I didn’t treat it as a problem. I thought that I was taking on a burden in my duty. I assumed seniority and didn’t accept being pruned. I was really so arrogant. In my heart, I didn’t fear or submit to God. I was in charge of the gospel work. I should’ve been training my brothers and sisters to preach the gospel as well. But instead, I scorned and belittled them, and took care of everything myself. As a result, they felt constrained by me, and some were really dependent on me, unable to carry a burden in their duty, and the gospel work was impacted. This wasn’t doing my duty—this was doing evil, and hindering the gospel work. Before, I’d thought that I was taking on a burden in my duty by doing everything myself. But in fact, I was just being arrogant. I’d been putting myself above the others, treating them as unimportant and taking charge of everything, acting willfully and recklessly with my arrogant disposition, without thought for God or other people. Wasn’t this the disposition of the archangel? If I didn’t repent, I’d be spurned and eliminated by God. Thinking of this, I realized that God was chastening and disciplining me with this illness. If God had not devised this situation for me, I would have continued acting within my arrogant disposition. I would have kept doing evil things, offending God’s disposition, and being met with punishment. When I realized this, I cried and prayed to God, “Oh God! I’m so arrogant that I have no humanity or reason. I’m not worthy of living before You. God! I don’t want to resist or rebel against You. I want to repent!” After that, I shared my state openly with my brothers and sisters. I exposed and dissected the harm I’d caused them due to my arrogant disposition, and apologized. After that, I became more humble in performing my duty. I discussed everything with my brothers and sisters, and before long my illness cleared up. I thanked God from the bottom of my heart.

After a while, due to the needs of the gospel work, the church assigned me to spread the gospel in a different location. I couldn’t help but start admiring myself again: It seemed I did well in preaching the gospel. Otherwise, why would they send me elsewhere to spread the gospel? One day, I went to preach the gospel to two religious believers. I didn’t think it would be difficult, so I didn’t try to understand their situation or their main notions in advance. Instead, as I’d done previously, I directly bore witness to the three stages of God’s work. As soon as they heard this they knew that I was a believer in Almighty God, and so they put their guard up. They weren’t willing to hear anything more. At the time, I was stunned. I’d come all this way to get here, and I’d thought that I could quickly expand the gospel work. I never thought that I would fail so soon. How would I expand the gospel work now? Still, I wasn’t willing to give up just yet. Maybe it was just a one-time problem, and I’d just messed things up this time. I’d been spreading the gospel for so many years, so I was certain that I could gain people. But everywhere I went, I failed. I felt so frustrated, and was in a state of despondency. After that, I was replaced. It pained me to think that my preaching was so ineffective. I felt like I was useless. If this continued, wouldn’t I be eliminated? I missed the days when I was passionately preaching the gospel. Though the work was hard, and tiring, it had made me happy to get such good results. But why couldn’t I get those results now? At the thought of this, I felt an unbearable pain in my heart. In my pain, I prayed to God again and again, “Oh God! What lessons do I need to learn from this situation? Please, enlighten me, and guide me to understand myself.”

While seeking, I saw this passage of God’s words: “When someone is gifted or has a talent, it means that they are inherently better at something or excel in some way compared with others. For example, you may react a little faster than others, understand things a little quicker than others, have mastered certain professional skills, or you may be an eloquent speaker, and so on. These are gifts and talents that a person may have. If you have certain talents and strengths, how you understand and handle them is very important. If you think that you are irreplaceable because no one else has your talents and gifts, and that you are practicing the truth if you use your gifts and talents to perform your duty, is this view right or wrong? (Wrong.) Why do you say it is wrong? What exactly are talents and gifts? How should you understand them, use them and deal with them? The fact is that no matter what gift or talent you have, it doesn’t mean that you have the truth and life. If people have certain gifts and talents, it is appropriate for them to perform a duty that utilizes these gifts and talents, but it does not mean that they are practicing the truth, nor does it mean that they are doing things according to the principles. For example, if you are born with a gift for singing, does your ability to sing represent the practice of the truth? Does it mean that you sing according to the principles? It does not. Let’s say, for example, that you have a natural talent for words and are good at writing. If you don’t understand the truth, can your writing accord with the truth? Does it necessarily mean that you have experiential testimony? (No, it does not.) Hence, gifts and talents are different to the truth and they cannot be compared. No matter what gift you have, if you do not pursue the truth, you won’t perform your duty well. Some people flaunt their gifts often and generally feel that they are better than others, so they look down on other people and are unwilling to cooperate with others when performing their duties. They always want to be in charge, and as a result they often violate the principles when performing their duties, and their working efficiency is also very low. The gifts have made them arrogant and self-righteous, made them look down on others, and made them always feel that they are better than other people and that no one is as good as them, and because of this they become smug. Have these people not been ruined by their gifts? They have indeed. People who are gifted and have talents are most likely to be arrogant and self-righteous. If they don’t pursue the truth and always live by their gifts, that is a very dangerous thing. No matter what duty a person performs in God’s house, no matter what kind of talent they possess, if they don’t pursue the truth then they will certainly fail to fulfill their duty. Whatever gifts and talents a person has, they should perform that kind of duty well. If they can also understand the truth and do things according to the principles, then their gifts and talents will have a role to play in the performance of that duty. Those who don’t accept the truth, and don’t seek the truth principles, and only rely on their gifts to do things won’t achieve any results from performing their duties, and risk being eliminated. … People who are gifted and have talents think they are very clever, that they understand everything—but they do not know that gifts and talents do not represent the truth, that these things have no connection to the truth. When people rely on their gifts and imaginings in their actions, their thoughts and opinions often run contrary to the truth—but they can’t see this, they still think, ‘See how clever I am; I’ve made such smart choices! Such wise decisions! None of you can match me.’ They forever live in a state of narcissism and self-appreciation. It is hard for them to quiet their hearts and contemplate what God asks of them, what the truth is, and what the truth principles are. So it is hard for them to understand the truth, and even though they perform duties, they are not able to practice the truth, and so, too, is it very difficult for them to enter into the truth reality. In short, if a person cannot pursue the truth and accept the truth, then irrespective of what gifts or talents they have, they will not be able to perform their duty well—of this there cannot be the slightest doubt” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is It, Exactly, on Which People Rely to Live?). After pondering God’s words, I understood that having special talents and gifts doesn’t mean that you have the truth. If you don’t understand the truth, or perform your duty without seeking principles, and you always use your talents and gifts as capital, you will grow more arrogant over time. I realized that, since I’d started my duty, I’d been living by my gifts. I knew the Bible well, and had experience preaching the gospel, so I’d treated these things as capital, becoming more and more arrogant. I looked down on everyone else. I treated them all as though they didn’t matter. The leader pruned me for my arrogance, but I didn’t accept it. I still used my gifts as capital, and refused her suggestions. When preaching, I didn’t seek the truth principles. I relied on my gifts and experience, trying to achieve great things. And, as a result, I failed time and time again. But even then, I didn’t think my attitude was a problem. I didn’t reflect. I shamelessly thought that since I had gifts and experience, then I could do my duty just fine. I was so arrogant and irrational. I thought of Paul, who was gifted, intelligent and eloquent. He had profound knowledge of the Scriptures, and was excellent at preaching the gospel and converting people. But he used it all as capital. His disposition became more and more arrogant, and he disregarded other people. He claimed he was equal to the apostles, and worked only for the sake of rewards and the crown. He even claimed to be the living Christ. And, in the end, he was punished by God. His story shows that having gifts does not mean you possess the truth reality. Later, I saw another passage of God’s words, which gave me some clarity. Almighty God says: “Are you able to sense the guidance of God and the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit in the course of performing your duty? (Yes.) If you are able to sense the work of the Holy Spirit, yet still think highly of yourselves, and think you are possessed of reality, then what is going on here? (When our performance of our duty has borne some fruit, we think that half the credit belongs to God, and half belongs to us. We magnify our cooperation to an unlimited extent, thinking that nothing was more important than our cooperation, and that God’s enlightenment would not have been possible without it.) So why did God enlighten you? Can God enlighten other people as well? (Yes.) When God enlightens someone, it is by the grace of God. And what is that little bit of cooperation on your part? Is it something you are due credit for, or is it your duty and responsibility? (It is our duty and responsibility.) When you recognize that it is your duty and responsibility, then you have the right mindset, and will not think of trying to take credit for it. If you always think, ‘This is my contribution. Would God’s enlightenment have been possible without my cooperation? This task requires man’s cooperation; our cooperation accounts for the bulk of the accomplishment,’ then you are wrong. How could you cooperate if the Holy Spirit had not enlightened you, and if no one had fellowshipped the truth principles to you? You would not know what God requires, nor would you know the path of practice. Even if you wanted to submit to God and cooperate, you wouldn’t know how. Is this ‘cooperation’ of yours not just empty words? Without true cooperation, you are only acting according to your own ideas—in which case, could the duty you perform be up to standard? Absolutely not, which indicates the issue at hand. What is the issue? No matter what duty a person performs, whether they achieve results, perform their duty up to standard, and gain God’s approval depends on God’s actions. Even if you fulfill your responsibilities and duty, if God does not work, if God does not enlighten and guide you, then you won’t know your path, your direction, or your goals. What ultimately comes of that? After toiling for all that time, you will not have performed your duty properly, nor will you have gained the truth and life—it will all have been in vain. Therefore, your duty being performed up to standard, edifying your brothers and sisters, and obtaining God’s approval all depends on God! People can only do those things that they are personally capable of, that they ought to do, and that are within their inherent capabilities—nothing more. Ultimately then, performing your duties in an effective manner depends on the guidance of God’s words and the enlightenment and leadership of the Holy Spirit; only then can you understand the truth, and complete God’s commission according to the path that God has given you and the principles He has set. This is God’s grace and blessing, and if people cannot see this, they are blind” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Principles That Should Guide One’s Conduct). Reading God’s words, I understood that the results I achieved when preaching the gospel and watering the newcomers, weren’t because of me. It was God’s grace and the Holy Spirit’s guidance. If God’s words did not fellowship all aspects of the truth principles to grant us direction and a path of practice, what would I understand then? Without the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment, and the guidance of God’s words, then no matter how eloquent, high-caliber or familiar with the Bible I was, I’d never resolve those religious people’s notions. In the revelation of the facts, I saw that without the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment, I was just a fool who couldn’t resolve anything, who couldn’t even convert any one person. I’d always thought that getting results in my duty meant that my caliber was good, that I was capable. But in fact, I didn’t understand God’s work or know myself. I was always using these things as capital to show off. I was so shameless about it.

Later on, I read more of God’s words: “God loves mankind, cares for mankind, and shows concern for mankind, as well as constantly and unceasingly providing for mankind. He never feels in His heart that this is additional work or something that deserves a lot of credit. Nor does He feel that saving humanity, supplying them, and granting them everything, is making a huge contribution to mankind. He simply provides for mankind quietly and silently, in His own way and through His own essence and what He has and is. No matter how much provision and how much help mankind receives from Him, God never thinks about or tries to take credit. This is determined by the essence of God, and is also precisely a true expression of God’s disposition” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself I). Reading God’s words, I was moved. God’s disposition is so wonderful! To save us, who have been deeply corrupted by Satan, God has twice become flesh. He’s done so much work, and said so much, and endured great humiliation and pain. But God has never shown off to mankind. He’s never felt this to be a matter of gaining credit. God’s essence reveals no trace of arrogance. Instead, He works quietly to complete His work. God’s humility is admirable. I’m not even as good as an ant. I got a few good results in my duty and I felt I was amazing. I thought I had achieved so much that I looked down my nose at everyone else. When I thought of how I’d acted when I’d lectured other people—my tone, and my manner—I felt disgust. If God hadn’t arranged all this to reveal and prune me, my arrogant nature would have disturbed and disrupted the church’s work. But God stopped me from stepping down that evil path, and allowed me to repent and change. God was saving me. I was so grateful to Him! So, I prayed to God, “God! I don’t want to live by my arrogant disposition. May You guide and save me, and help me to live as a human.”

A while later, my state had improved a little. My leader arranged for me to water the newcomers again. At one point, one of my sisters had trouble watering a newcomer, and didn’t know what to do. So she came to me, seeking fellowship. It turned out that she hadn’t properly grasped the root of that newcomer’s problems, and I began to feel scornful of her. I thought, “Your caliber is too low. You can’t even see the newcomer’s problems. If everyone waters newcomers like you do, won’t the church’s work be held up?” But, this time, I was aware that I was revealing my arrogant disposition. So I prayed to God, rebelling against myself. Later, I read these words of God: “As someone well-versed in professional knowledge, you must not put on airs or flaunt your qualifications; you should proactively teach your skills and knowledge to novices, so that everyone can perform their duties well together. It may be that you are the most knowledgeable about your profession and lead in terms of skill, but this is a gift that God has given you, and you should use it to perform your duty and make use of your strengths. No matter how skilled or talented you are, you cannot undertake the work alone; a duty is performed more effectively if everyone is able to grasp the skills and knowledge of a profession. As the saying goes, an able man needs the support of three other people. No matter how capable an individual is, without the help of everyone else, it’s not enough. Therefore, none should be arrogant and none should wish to act or make decisions on their own. People should rebel against the flesh, put aside their own ideas and opinions, and work in harmony with everyone else. Whoever has professional knowledge should lovingly help others, so that they may also master these skills and knowledge. This is of benefit to the performance of duty. … If you are considerate of God’s intentions and are willing to be loyal to the work of His house, you should offer up all your strengths and skills, so that others may learn and grasp them, and perform their duties better. This is what accords with God’s intentions; only such people have humanity, and they are loved and blessed by God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Proper Fulfillment of Duty Requires Harmonious Cooperation). God’s words showed me a path of practice. My sister was just training to water newcomers. It was natural that she wouldn’t be able to understand or resolve certain issues. I should do my best to help her and teach her how to resolve those issues. So, I fellowshipped with her, and together we found relevant passages of God’s words. Later, the newcomer’s issues were resolved, and he became willing to preach the gospel. My sister and I were so happy. Afterward, when I worked with my brothers and sisters, I was more humble. Sometimes, when preaching the gospel and watering newcomers, they’re unable to resolve the problems of gospel candidates and newcomers. But I don’t belittle them anymore. Instead, we fellowship and seek principles together. When they offer alternative suggestions, I consciously deny myself, and listen to them. I don’t dictate to them or look down on them anymore. Doing this has given me peace and liberation in my heart.