Spiritual Awakening of a “White Angel” (Part 2)
Recognizing Mankind That Has Been Corrupted by Satan
From then on, every day before the dawn, I got up to read, pray and sing hymns and enjoyed the kind of peace and joy that I had never experienced before. One day, I saw that it said in God’s words: “Cruel, brutal mankind! The conniving and intrigue, the jostling with each other, the scramble for reputation and fortune, the mutual slaughter—when will it ever end? God has spoken hundreds of thousands of words, yet no one has come to their senses. They act for the sake of their families, and sons and daughters, for their careers, prospects, status, vanity, and money, for the sake of clothes, for food and the flesh—whose actions are truly for the sake of God? Even among those whose actions are for the sake of God, there are but few who know God. How many do not act for the sake of their own interests? How many do not oppress and discriminate against others for the sake of maintaining their own status?” (“The Wicked Must Be Punished” in ).
“The sky above all mankind is murky and gloomy, lacking in even a glimmer of clarity. The human world is in pitch darkness, and when living in it one cannot see his own hand when he stretches it out before him and cannot see the sun when he lifts his head. The road beneath his feet is muddy and rife with potholes, and it is meandering and tortuous; the whole land is littered with corpses. The corners in the dark are filled with the remains of the dead. The cool and dark corners are crowded with hordes of demons taking up residence. Throughout mankind hordes of demons also come and go. The progeny of myriad beasts covered in filth is fighting hand to hand, in a brutal struggle, the sound of which strikes terror in the heart. In such times, such a world, and such an ‘earthly paradise,’ where does one go to seek out life’s felicities? Where would one go to find his life’s destination?” (“What a Real Man Means” in The Word Appears in the Flesh).
God’s words go straight to the heart of the matter in revealing the truth of humanity’s corruption. They are so true and real. The whole of mankind has been corrupted by Satan. Satan’s life philosophies such as “Everyone for himself and the devil take the hindmost” and “If you have money, you can make the devil push the millstone for you” have become our laws of survival. People deceive, use and harm each other for gain and for money. They have no tolerance and even less affection. Like cold-blooded animals, they snatch and fight for a mouthful of food, humanity and reasoning completely lost. When I officially took on my role, I saw doctors in various departments conspiring and scheming against each other and management directly recommending drug companies to the hospital, inviting expensive commercial cheats who did not understand medical treatment to teach us how to deceitfully gain patients’ trust and extort their money in order to make money…. At first I did not approve of such behavior, but later, after seeing colleagues around me making big money by all kinds of means and leading luxury lifestyles, I was also gradually led astray and started to go with the crowd and lend myself to dishonest schemes. In order to make money I vied with other doctors, prescribed large prescriptions and expensive drugs, charged fees indiscriminately and even became numb and accustomed to this unconscionable and unethical behavior…. If it was not for God coming to save me today, I would still be addicted on living in sin and would have become one of Satan’s puppets or playthings unknowingly. Thinking of this, I thanked God from the bottom of my heart for His salvation.
The Pursuit of Being an Honest Person Set Me Free
Later, I lived a church life with brothers and sisters, singing hymns and praising God and my spirit felt at ease to enjoy and my heart felt incomparably happy. I had seen that brothers and sisters ofare all open and pure, treat others with sincerity and you do not need to guard against people harming you when you come into contact with them. Everyone loves each other and is as close as a family. I felt warmth that I had never felt before.
One day, at a meeting, I saw it said in God’s words: “Honesty means to give your heart to God; never to play Him false in anything; to be open with Him in all things, never hiding the truth; never to do that which deceives those above and deludes those below; and never to do that which merely ingratiates yourself with God. In short, to be honest is to refrain from impurity in your actions and words, and to deceive neither God nor man” (“Three Admonitions” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God requires us to be honest people and to be true in our words and actions, to not deceive God, nor deceive people. Looking at brothers and sisters in the church, everyone practices being honest people according to the word of God, speaks the truth and acts in a just and honorable manner. They accept God’s observation in all matters and do not engage in insincerity and deception. Brothers and sisters respect and understand each other and can forgive and care for others. They can also take other people into consideration and do not do things which harm others for their own gain. From brothers and sisters, I have seen that it is great to be an honest person. This kind of life is really liberating! In the past, I did whatever I could and engaged in deception to make money in the hospital and everything that I did was under-the-table deals! From now on, I will work in accordance with God’s demands and live out the likeness of an honest man, by the principle of helping cure patients and helping them spend less and no longer depend on Satan’s poisons to live and do those unconscionable things.
Being an Honest Person Is Great
One time there was a patient with a general gynecological condition. She went to several big hospitals and spent thousands of yuan but was not cured. After I had carefully asked about and checked the patient’s condition, I discovered that it was caused by excessive medication. I told her to stop taking all medication and after a period of recovery she would be better. But the patient didn’t believe what I said and pressed me to prescribe her the best medication. Seeing her insistent look, I thought: It is you asking me to prescribe medication for you, not me wishing to prescribe medication for you. So I prescribed medicine for her which would have a percentage deducted, for which a medication invoice could be issued. I felt a little guilty, so tore it up, then issued another, then tore it up…. At this point, I was having an internal battle. On the one side was money that I could feel with my fingertips and on the other side was God’s demands. I didn’t know what to do for the best. At this moment, I thought of the will established in the presence of God: I believe in God. I must practice the word of God and be an honest person. If a patient really has an illness, I should prescribe medication for her, but if she does not have an illness, I cannot ignore my conscience and deceive the patient. Nor can I prescribe any more high value medication where a cut is taken. Thinking of this, my heart was greatly illuminated and I told the patient: “I will give you a recipe! Eat more carrots every day and it will be fine.” The patient saw I was very certain and left looking very unconvinced. But in my heart I felt especially relieved and happy to be able to practice the truth.
Ten or so days later, this patient’s illness got better. She happily bought me something to thank me and told me: “I spent five to six thousand yuan and the illness never got better, but you unexpectedly did not even ask for a cent and it got better. Your medical skills are really great!” I thought to myself: Actually your illness was caused by other doctors who prescribed medicine in a disorderly manner and used it indiscriminately. Before I believed in God, I also ignored my conscience and deceived patients like this. My being able to practice medicine and be a good person in a down-to-earth manner is all because the word ofchanged me.
Defeat the Temptation of Money
At the end of the month, all of the drug companies came to give the doctors their percentage (because the drugstores have a record of all the drugs prescribed where a cut is given). When I saw all of the doctors in my department beaming with happy smiles, holding more than twenty bulging envelopes and me with pitifully few, I felt unbalanced inside: I had been a good person, but got too little; I might have done the same thing as them. At this moment, aof God’s word rang out in my ears: “Renounce your fondness for the secular world and the wealth! … Renounce your views and prejudices! Wake up, for time is short! Let your spirit look up, look up and let God take control. Do not let yourself become like Lot’s wife. It is so pitiful to be cast aside! How pitiful indeed! Wake up!” (“Almighty God Sits Upon His Glorious Throne” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). The enlightenment of the word of God lit up my heart. Yes! Now it is the last days. This is the last time God saves people. If I still do not pursue the truth well in this critical moment, then I cannot truly live out the human likeness and will be fond of money like before. When God’s work ends and disaster comes, however much more money I make, what use will it be? Lot’s wife lost her life and was turned into a pillar of salt because she couldn't renounce her family property. I cannot be like her. I must be a good person in accordance with the word of God and I must do things conscientiously, renounce unjust wealth and no longer harm others to benefit myself. Thinking about that, my heart calmed down and I felt that getting the truth and life is most valuable and most meaningful!
As I read more and more of God’s words, I also gained some understanding of God’s will, viewed the world and wealth as more and more meaningless and did not vie for patients with doctors in the department but proactively let them treat them. Because of my changes, colleagues were all willing to be on duty with me. When I saw patients, I patiently explained and I would not treat small illnesses excessively anymore or freely prescribe drugs.
I Lived Out the Likeness of a Real Man a Little
When I practiced in this way, I felt particularly at ease and peaceful inside. Although I was spending less time working, God especially blessed me. Colleagues, friends and acquaintances in my hospital all asked me to see patients and carry out surgery. They all said that I was different to other doctors, kindhearted and didn’t rip people off, with less money spent on treatment and quicker recovery. I know that this was the outcome of the word of Almighty God in me. In my experience, I have seen that only the word of God and the truth can change people and only the truth can reveal all my unrighteousness and corruption and cleanse me of Satan’s poisons. At the same time, I also truly realized that the more you practice the truth and understand the word of God, the more you understand the darkness and evil in the world, and the more you can see the truth of how you have been corrupted by Satan and your own inferior outlook on life and values. It is the judgment and chastisement of the word of God that has given me the confidence and motivation to renounce Satan and to be a good person again!
Later, colleagues told me: “Look how easily you live now, even younger than before!” Some said: “You really are so stupid for not making money that you can raise your hand up to get. Is it because you have too much money?” Some said: “The realm of your ideology is really too high!” In short, people said all kinds of things, but they do not know it is all because the word of Almighty God changed me. God’s work really is so wise and wonderful! Satan corrupted me into a demon and the word of Almighty God changed me into a person, enabling me to live out the likeness of man! As the word of Almighty God said: “Only if one knows God and has the truth does he live in the light; and only when his view of the world and his view of life change does he change fundamentally. When he has a life goal and comports himself according to the truth; when he absolutely submits to God and lives by God’s word; when he feels assured and brightened deep in his soul; when his heart is free of darkness; and when he lives completely freely and unrestrained in God’s presence—only then does he live a true human life and become a person possessing truth. Besides, all the truths you have are from God’s word and from God Himself. The Ruler of the entire universe and all things—God Most High—approves of you, as a real man living the true human life. What could be more meaningful than God’s approval?” (“How to Know Man’s Nature” in Records of Christ’s Talks). Thank God. All glory be to Almighty God!