By Caili, China

In January 2024, the district leader wrote to me and asked me to be the leader of the watering team. I started to feel conflicted, and thought, “As the leader of the watering team, I would be responsible for the watering work in around a dozen churches. That would be so busy and tiring! Now I am only responsible for the watering work in two churches, so my flesh is not too tired. It’s fine like this. Besides, I have cervical spondylosis. Previously, I had a cervical disc herniation which compressed my nerves and caused numbness over half of my body, dizziness due to insufficient blood supply to the brain, insomnia, and heart pain. Although I feel better now, how much worry it would be to be responsible for the watering work in so many churches! In the past, I developed some illnesses because of frequently staying up late. This workload will be very heavy. What if I fall ill from overwork? If I end up unable to even do my current duties, will I still be saved in the future? No, I need to be smart. I mustn’t be too earnest in doing my duties.” When I thought this, I told the leader, “My work capability is poor, and I cannot take on so much work. It would be better to find someone more suitable.” After a few days, the leader wrote to me again to fellowship with me, saying, “You can also see that the results of our watering work are not good. Many waterers have just started training. They are not familiar with the work and still need cultivation. You have been doing this duty for a long time and have some experience doing it. At this time, you should show consideration for God’s intention and take up this burden. God’s requirements of us are not high. As long as we give our all, then He will be satisfied.” After reading my sister’s letter, I felt very guilty. There were many newcomers joining the church, and we really needed people to do the watering work. I should have let go of my own fleshly interests and accepted this duty.

I thought about how God had fellowshipped about Noah and his attitude toward God’s commission, so I looked up that passage to read. Almighty God says: “In the course of building the ark, the first thing Noah had to face was his family’s lack of understanding, their nagging, complaints, and even vilification. Second was his being slandered, ridiculed, and judged by those around him—his relatives, his friends, and every kind of other person. But Noah only had one attitude, which was to obey God’s words, implement them to the very end, and never waver from this. What had Noah determined? ‘As long as I am alive, as long as I can still move, I will not abandon God’s commission.’ This was his motivation as he carried out the great enterprise of building the ark, as well as his attitude when presented with God’s commands, and after hearing God’s words. Faced with all manner of troubles, difficult situations, and challenges, Noah did not shrink back. When some of his more difficult engineering tasks frequently failed and underwent damage, even though Noah felt upset and anxious in his heart, when he thought of God’s words, when he remembered every word that God commanded of him, and God’s elevation of him, then he often felt extremely motivated: ‘I cannot give up, I cannot discard what God commanded and entrusted me to do; this is God’s commission, and since I accepted it, since I heard the words spoken by God and the voice of God, and since I accepted this from God, then I should submit absolutely, which is what ought to be attained by a human being.’ So, no matter what kind of difficulties he faced, no matter what kind of mockery or slander he encountered, no matter how exhausted his body became, how tired, he did not forsake what had been entrusted to him by God, and constantly kept in mind every single word of what God had said and commanded. No matter how his environments changed, no matter how great the difficulty he faced, he trusted that none of this would go on forever, that God’s words alone would never pass away, and only that which God commanded to be done would surely be accomplished. Noah had in him true faith in God, and the submission that he ought to have, and he continued to build the ark that God had asked him to build. Day by day, year by year, Noah grew older, but his faith did not diminish, and there was no change in his attitude and determination to complete God’s commission. Though there were times when his body felt tired and exhausted, and he fell ill, and in his heart he was weak, his determination and perseverance toward completing God’s commission and submitting to God’s words did not lessen. During the years that Noah built the ark, Noah was practicing listening to and submitting to the words God had said, and he was also practicing an important truth of a created being and ordinary person needing to complete God’s commission” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Three: How Noah and Abraham Obeyed God’s Words and Submitted to Him (Part Two)). Noah’s experience really moved me. I saw that when God commanded Noah to build the ark, Noah’s heart was innocent. He listened to God’s words and submitted to God. Even when faced with the enormous task of building the ark, he did not refuse or try to shirk it, and he never said that he was too old to build an ark. Instead, he rationally let go of the work he had at hand and began preparing various materials to build the ark. Noah also encountered many difficulties while building the ark. Moreover, he was getting older and older. His body got tired and exhausted when he worked a lot, and he also suffered from sickness and pain, but his determination to build the ark never wavered. He kept God’s commission in mind at all times, and finally relied on God to complete the ark. Comparing myself with this, I felt truly ashamed and guilty. I have listened to so many of God’s words, and the church has cultivated me for many years. The results of the watering work were not good, and the leader asked me to be responsible for it, but I didn’t want to accept it. I was worried that my body would not be able to withstand the stress and the mental exhaustion of the heavy workload and that my illnesses would worsen, so I found various excuses to refuse. If I had had any reason at all, I would have taken on this duty without discussing conditions or reasons. However, I regarded duty as a burden, and did not want to worry or put in mental effort for fear of exhausting myself. I didn’t have a heart of submission to God at all, let alone any consideration for His intention. I fell far short of Noah! After understanding God’s intention, I was willing to learn from Noah, submit, let go of myself, rebel against the flesh, and do my duty well. Afterward, I wrote back to the leader saying that I was willing to do this duty.

Later, I reflected on myself, asking, “Why did I always consider my illness and fleshly pain, and even refuse to do my duty? What corrupt disposition was controlling me?” Just then, the leader sent me a passage of God’s words: “For many years, the thoughts that people have relied upon for their survival have been corroding their hearts to the point that they have become treacherous, cowardly, and despicable. Not only do they lack willpower and resolve, but they have also become greedy, arrogant, and willful. They are utterly lacking any resolve that transcends the self, and even more, they don’t have a bit of courage to shake off the strictures of these dark influences. People’s thoughts and lives are so rotten that their perspectives on believing in God are still unbearably hideous, and even when people speak of their perspectives on belief in God it is simply unbearable to hear. People are all cowardly, incompetent, despicable, and fragile. They do not feel disgust for the forces of darkness, and they do not feel love for the light and the truth; instead, they do their utmost to expel them” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Why Are You Unwilling to Be a Foil?). God exposes that once people have been corrupted by Satan, they are filled with various satanic poisons. They rely on thoughts instilled in them by Satan in their acts and self-conduct, such as “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “Treat yourself well,” and so on. As I lived by these satanic rules of existence, I became more and more selfish and despicable, and only considered my own interests in my words and actions. I was well aware that there were no suitable people to cultivate the waterers, and the problems of the newcomers could not be resolved promptly, which had seriously affected the watering work. However, I just wanted to pick easy tasks and shirk heavy work, and did not want to take on this burden. I always wanted to choose light duties to do. I felt that, as someone who was ill, I had to pay attention to taking care of my health in the future and could not overwork myself anymore. I even regretted that I hadn’t treated myself well in the past by staying up late, leaving me with some illnesses. I thought that now I had to be smarter and couldn’t be too earnest in doing my duties. I did not show consideration for God’s intentions, instead considering my own flesh at every turn. I was even deceitful, giving a heap of excuses to shirk my duty and not considering the work of the church in the slightest. Everything I had thought was truly selfish and despicable, without any humanity! In the past, I had even prayed to God and made a resolution that I would always do my duty well and satisfy God at all times. However, now, when a little bit of sickness and pain came upon me, I showed consideration for the flesh and lost my resolve to work. I realized that all the things I had said to God were lies and deceptions, and showed no loyalty. In the past, I had even fellowshipped with newcomers about the meaning of doing duties, saying, “Doing your duty is crucial. You can obtain the truth and be saved. Suffering in order to do your duty well is worth it!” However, when duty called, I showed consideration for the flesh and didn’t want to suffer. Wasn’t my fellowship to the newcomers merely words and doctrines? For someone like me, without the slightest reality, to still want to be saved by God and receive God’s blessing was utterly shameless! When I understood this, I felt indebted to God, and so I prayed to Him, “God, I don’t want to hurt Your heart anymore. I am willing to put my illnesses in Your hands, without considering what will happen in the future. I am willing to put my heart into my duty and take on the work.”

Next, the leader asked me to summarize the problems and deviations in the waterers’ duties, and at the same time, collect the newcomers’ problems and find words of God to resolve them. Suddenly, there were so many things in front of me, and on top of them, I still had to write sermons used for preaching the gospel. I felt more and more under pressure, and my heart felt tense every day. As soon as I finished one job, there was another job to do, and I started to worry, “All this work needs time and mental effort. If I do it all well, then I won’t have much time to rest. If this goes on, will my body be able to handle it? Will my illnesses get more serious?” At this time, I realized that my state was not right, and I was thinking about showing consideration for the flesh and shirking my duties again. This was not being loyal to God! I thought about how God’s requirements of us are not high. As long as people do their utmost within their physical capabilities, that is fine. God does not ask people to exhaust themselves or work themselves to death for Him. I remembered the words of God: “God didn’t ask you to be superhuman or an eminent person, nor did He give you wings to fly in the sky. He only gave you two hands and two legs that allow you to walk on the ground one step at a time, and to run when necessary. The internal organs that God created for you digest and absorb food, and provide nutrition for your whole body, so you must stick to a routine of having three meals a day. God has given you free will, the intellect of normal humanity, and the conscience and sense that a human being should possess. If you use these things well and correctly, follow the laws for survival of the physical body, properly look after your health, steadfastly do what God asks of you, and achieve what God requires you to achieve, then that is enough, and it is also very simple. Has God asked you to bend to the task and strive to do your utmost until your dying day? Has He asked you to torment yourself? (No.) God does not require such things. People should not torment themselves, but should have some common sense and properly cater to the body’s various needs. Drink water when you are thirsty, supplement your diet when hungry, rest when tired, exercise after sitting down for a long time, go to the doctor when you are sick, stick to your three meals a day, and maintain the life of normal humanity. Of course, you should also keep up your normal duties. If your duties involve some specialist knowledge that you don’t understand, you should go study and practice it. This is normal life” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (12)). God tells us to understand common sense in life and to treat the needs of our bodies correctly. We should eat when we are hungry and rest when we are tired; when we sit for long periods while doing our duty and we feel uncomfortable, we should get up and exercise; when we are ill, we should see a doctor. When believing in God, we cannot be vague in our belief, and we cannot disobey the natural laws of our bodies. In the past, I had always believed that the reason I experienced a lot of ailments was because of my heavy workload and the worries of doing my duty. However, in reality, God does not want people to bend to the task and strive to do their utmost until their dying day. Instead, He wants people to have a balance of work and rest in doing their duties. Previously, I didn’t know how to plan my work and rest schedule reasonably. I was always procrastinating and inefficient in my work, and I constantly stayed up late, violating the natural laws of the body. This was caused by my own foolishness, and was not the result of being exhausted by doing my duties. Now, I can adjust my time reasonably. During the day, I improved my work efficiency as much as possible, and I didn’t stay up late at night. After that, I sorted out my tasks according to their importance and did them one by one. After a month, I was able to get used to this duty. On the one hand, I cultivated waterers; on the other, I actually watered some newcomers and resolved their problems. The rest of the time, I wrote sermons and experiential testimony articles. Sometimes, when I felt uncomfortable after sitting at the computer for long periods of time, I did some exercise. Although it was a bit tiring to do my duty in this way, my condition did not worsen, and I was able to do my duty competently. Every day was very fulfilling and my heart felt peaceful and at ease.

I thought of a passage of God’s words that I read during my devotionals, and realized how you have to live in order for your life to have meaning. Almighty God says: “What is the value of a person’s life? Is it merely for the sake of indulging in fleshly pleasures such as eating, drinking, and being entertained? (No, it is not.) Then what is it? Please share your thoughts. (To fulfill the duty of a created being, this at least is what a person should achieve in their life.) That is correct. Tell Me, if a person’s daily actions and thoughts throughout their entire life are solely focused on avoiding illness and death, on keeping their body healthy and free from diseases, and striving for longevity, is this the value a person’s life should have? (No, it is not.) That is not the value a person’s life should have. So, what is the value a person’s life should have? Just now, someone mentioned fulfilling the duty of a created being, which is one specific aspect. Is there anything else? Tell Me the desires you usually have while praying or establishing resolve. (To submit to God’s arrangements and orchestrations for us.) (To play the role well which God has assigned for us, and to fulfill our mission and responsibility.) Anything else? In one respect, it is about fulfilling the duty of a created being. In another, it is about doing everything within your ability and capacity to the best that you can, at least reaching a point where your conscience does not accuse you, where you can be at peace with your own conscience and be proven acceptable in the eyes of others. Taking it a step further, throughout your life, regardless of the family you were born into, your educational background, or your caliber, you must have some understanding of the principles that people ought to comprehend in life. For example, what kind of path people should walk, how they should live, and how to live a meaningful life—you should at least explore a bit of the true value of life. This life cannot be lived in vain, and one cannot come to this earth in vain. In another respect, during your lifetime, you must fulfill your mission; this is the most important. We won’t talk about completing a great mission, duty, or responsibility, but at the very least, you should accomplish something. … Let’s not hold people to high standards. Let’s consider a situation where a person is faced with a task they should do or are willing to do in their lifetime. After finding their place, they stand firmly in their position, hold their position, expend all their heart’s blood and all their energy, and accomplish and finish what they should work on and complete. When they finally stand before God to give an account, they feel relatively satisfied, without accusations or regrets in their heart. They feel comforted and that they have gained something, that they have lived a valuable life” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (6)). As I pondered God’s words, I understood that the value and meaning of a person’s life is to fulfill your duty as a created being in God’s work of saving mankind, bear testimony to God’s work and words to the extent that you are able, and bring more people before God to accept God’s salvation. This is the thing that pleases God most. Although doing your duty may sometimes cause suffering of the flesh, through pursuing the truth within this process, we can understand many truth principles and see through many things; we can also understand our own corruption and deficiencies. What a great thing this is! If I only thought about how to maintain myself or preserve my health in various ways, like a nonbeliever, then even though my body would be full of vitality and healthy, in the end, it would all be in vain if I didn’t do my duty well. It would have no value to speak of at all. I thought back to a few years ago, when I went to the city hospital for treatment. It was just when COVID-19 was erupting. The death toll was steadily increasing, and everyone was living in panic. In this environment, my brothers and sisters still persisted in preaching the gospel. Though they were afraid of contracting COVID-19 themselves, they never forgot their responsibilities and persisted in preaching the gospel to those who yearned for God’s appearance. Only in this way could their lives have meaning. I remembered a hymn of God’s words that I often sang, “You Should Pursue Positive Progress”: “People’s entire lives are in the hands of God, and if it were not for their resolution before God, who would be willing to live in vain in this empty world of man? Why bother? Rushing in and out of the world, if they do not do anything for God, will their entire lives not have been wasted? Even if God does not deem your actions worthy of mention, will you not give a smile of gratification at the moment of your death? You should pursue positive progress, not negative regression—is this not better practice?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Interpretations of the Mysteries of “God’s Words to the Entire Universe,” Chapter 39). It’s true. People must do something for God while they are alive. They cannot live in vain. If you live in the flesh, eating, drinking, and being entertained, then however well you take care of yourself, it is all in vain. You do not know the Creator and do not fulfill the duty of a created being. There is no meaning in living like this. Now, disasters are growing more severe, and God’s work is nearing its end. There are not many opportunities left to do my duty, so I should cherish the opportunity to do my duty now. I should share the truth principles I understand with the waterers, so that they can understand the truth, grasp principles, and water the newcomers more effectively. I have to strive to do everything I can without any regrets. Even if my illnesses really do worsen in the future, I must learn to submit, and place my illnesses into God’s hands, submitting to His orchestration and arrangements.

Afterward, I read another passage of God’s words, which resolved my misgivings and worries about sickness and pain. Almighty God says: “If you truly believe that everything is in God’s hands, then you should believe that these things—serious illnesses, major illnesses, minor illnesses, and health—all fall under the sovereignty and arrangements of God. The emergence of a serious illness and what someone’s health will be like at a certain age are not things that happen by accident, and to understand this is to have a positive and accurate understanding. Does this accord with the truth? (Yes.) It accords with the truth, it is the truth, you should accept this, and your attitude and views on this matter should be transformed. And what is resolved once these things are transformed? Are your feelings of distress, anxiety, and worry not resolved? At the very least, your negative emotions of distress, anxiety, and worry about sickness are resolved in theory. Because your understanding has transformed your thoughts and views, it therefore resolves your negative emotions. This is one aspect: Whether or not someone will get sick, what serious illness they will get, and what their health will be like at each stage of life cannot be changed by the will of man, but rather are all predestined by God. … We’re talking about sickness; this is something most people will experience during their lifetime. Therefore, the kind of sickness that will afflict people’s bodies at what time or at what age and what their health will be like are all things arranged by God and people cannot decide these things for themselves; just like the time when someone is born, they are not able to decide it for themselves. So, is it not foolish to feel distressed, anxious, and worried about things you cannot decide for yourself? (Yes.) People should set about resolving the things they can resolve themselves, and for those things they cannot do themselves, they should wait for God; people should submit silently and ask God to protect them—this is the mindset people should have. When illness really does strike and death really is near, then people should submit and not complain or rebel against God or say things that blaspheme against God or things that attack Him. Instead, people should stand as created beings and experience and appreciate all that comes from God—they should not try to choose things for themselves. This should be a special experience that enriches your life, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing, right? Therefore, when it comes to illness, people should first resolve their wrong thoughts and views concerning the origin of the illness, and then they will no longer worry about this; moreover, people have no right to control known or unknown things, nor are they capable of controlling them, as all these things are under the sovereignty of God. The attitude and principle of practice people should have are to wait and submit. From understanding to practice, all should be done in line with the truth principles—this is to pursue the truth” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (4)). From God’s words I understood that God is sovereign over and ordains a person’s health at each stage of their life, what illnesses they get and whether those illnesses will be serious. None of these are things that people can control, and worries and misgivings are of no use. When illnesses come upon you, you should learn how to treat them correctly, and learn to submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements. In the past, I was often worried and distressed about my illnesses, and lived amidst negative emotions. This was because I didn’t understand God’s sovereignty. I even believed that if I did a lot of duties, had a heavy workload, and was physically exhausted, that would make my condition worse. Therefore, I was constantly worried that one day I would not be able to bear it anymore and I wouldn’t even be able to do my current duties. In fact, whether my condition will get worse or not is all up to God. It has nothing to do with the workload of my duty. Some brothers and sisters are not in good health, and their burdens are heavier than mine, but they haven’t gotten ill. My perspective on things was so distorted. These worries and misgivings were unnecessary and a manifestation of foolishness and ignorance. Even if my condition really does get worse someday, this will have God’s permission, and I should submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements. I thought about how when trials came upon Job, and his body was covered with sore boils, he was able to accept it from God, and did not complain about God. He was able to face it calmly and finally stand firm in his testimony to God. When I thought this, I felt very ashamed, and was willing to let go of my own worries and misgivings, entrust my illnesses to God’s hands, and dedicate my heart to my duty. I seek treatment when I need it, and I do appropriate exercises in my spare time. When I practice in this way, my heart is much more relaxed and liberated, and I am no longer affected too much by illnesses.

Through this reassignment in my duty, I learned many lessons, and realized that as a created being, I must hold to my duties at all times and must not show consideration for the flesh. At the same time, I also understood that the value of human life is to follow God’s words and loyally do one’s duty. Only by living in this way can you feel open-hearted and forthright and have no regrets.