189 An Awakening Through Judgment
1 In all those years of believing in the Lord, I focused only on expounding the theories of the Bible; never did I submit to His words and commandments. I worked hard, but I did it only to gain status and rewards. Despite living in sin, I still hoped for my rapture into the kingdom of heaven upon the Lord’s arrival. After experiencing the judgment of God’s words, I was awoken from my dreams; now, I see that I am ugly, contemptible, and extremely corrupt. I have spoken sound doctrine and shown off wherever I have gone. I have decorated myself in doctrine to deceive others, as well as myself. I do not live out the reality of God’s words; I have no human likeness. Though I walk the path of the Pharisees, I still consider myself loyal. How fortunate I am that the judgment of God’s words has shaken me awake! I now see the depths of my corruption, and that I need God’s judgment and purification.
2 God’s judgment allows me to clearly see the truth of mankind’s corruption. Man is full of notions and imaginings about God, and is liable to betray Him at any time. Without trials to reveal one’s nature, no one would see it clearly. Mankind is so deeply corrupted, and people cannot be purified without undergoing judgment. God’s righteous disposition is entirely revealed within His judgment, and He decides people’s outcomes based on whether or not they possess the truth. No matter how much they suffer, it all comes to nothing unless they have gained the truth. Only by experiencing judgment and gaining the truth can people be commended by God. God’s use of judgment and chastisement to bring salvation to man is so meaningful. What an honor it is to know God’s righteousness and holiness! It is His judgment that saves me and shakes my heart awake. I resolve to pursue the truth and live out reality to glorify and bear testimony for God.