207 I Am Conquered by God’s Words

1 For years I believed in the Lord, yet knew not to pursue the truth. Clinging to religious ceremony, my faith was vague and abstract. I understood a little of the Bible, and so thought I knew God. I expended and suffered for the Lord to be rewarded and crowned. My heart was full of notions and imaginings about God. I lusted to enjoy His grace and blessings. When I beheld the utterances of the incarnate Son of man, I measured God’s work by what was written in the Bible. I clung to religious notions, assuming this was loyalty to the Lord. How were my actions different from those of the Pharisees’?

2 After being judged by God’s words, I seemed to have awoken from dream. I saw how my arrogance had made me lose all conscience and reason. Without the truth, I often delimited God with notions and imaginings, denying and making judgments about Christ as though He were an ordinary person. Only upon being conquered by God’s words did I behold His appearance. I despised myself for having been too arrogant and blind to know God. Thoughts of my past disobedience and resistance fill me with regret. Bowing before God, I feel the utmost remorse. I resolve to pursue the truth and live out a human likeness. I am determined to follow God, and will not rest until I have gained the truth.

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