187 I Am So Remorseful

1 I hear God will return to Zion and I don’t know how to feel. I’ve believed in God for many years but have never done my duty well, I feel such deep regret in my heart. I’ve enjoyed so much of God’s love, but have never given anything back. God has given me so many opportunities to practice, but I approached them all in a slipshod manner, and instead single-mindedly sought status, fame and fortune and made plans for my future destiny. Filled with extravagant desires, I truly knew no shame and have wasted so much good time. And now God is about to leave us, I am so remorseful.

2 Though I’ve read many of God’s words, I’ve contented myself only with an understanding of doctrine. Reflecting on my own actions, I see that I possess no reality of the truth at all. Looking at my own nature and essence, I see that I do not love the truth. How can I ever recover that which is past? I fear God has abandoned me. I am so remorseful—why didn’t I accept God’s judgment and chastisement when I read His words? I don’t know if my repentance has come too late, I am so remorseful. I don’t know if God will give me another chance, I am so remorseful.

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