192 God’s Judgment Saves Me From Sin
1 Many times I swore to give up everything and follow the Lord, but I could not break free from the temptations of wealth and fame. I had no doubt that it was an honor to suffer for the sake of spreading the gospel and bearing witness to the Lord, but when faced with oppression and tribulations, I harbored complaints and felt ashamed. I often resolved to follow the Lord’s commandments and love others as myself, but I still schemed and vied for status with my co-workers and lived in sin. So many times I fasted and prayed before the Lord, earnestly calling out, “Oh Lord! When will You come back and save me from the abyss of sin? When can I be purified and enter the kingdom of heaven with You?”
2 In my daze, I hear Almighty God’s voice knocking at the doors of my heart. All of His words pierce my heart like a sharp sword, revealing the truth of my corruption. I believed in the Lord just to gain blessings and enter the kingdom of heaven; I was just trying to make deals with the Lord. I enjoyed His grace, but gave no thought to repaying Him. Where is my conscience and reason? I talked about bearing witness for the Lord, but instead I worked for status; I deceived Him. I thought that because I had done some good deeds, I’d truly repented and changed. When undergoing trials, I only appeared to submit while believing I was standing witness. I lived in sin, committing wrongdoings and confessing every day, but I still longed to enter the kingdom of heaven. Now that I see God’s righteousness and holiness, I have nowhere to hide my shame, so I prostrate myself.
3 Being judged and chastised by God is like undergoing the refinement of the lake of fire. I have been arrogant and rebellious so many times, for which God has chastened and disciplined me harshly. When I insist on my own way, the Holy Spirit turns away from me, leaving me to live in darkness. I’ve been stubborn and disobedient so many times, always wanting to escape God’s judgment. His words have enlightened and guided me to understand His work. Everything revealed to man through God’s judgment is truth and righteousness. By believing in God but not submitting to His judgment, how could I truly know Him or gain the truth? Without pursuing the truth, how could I escape Satan’s influence? Through trials, I have seen that judgment and chastisement truly are manifestations of God’s love. His judgment has saved me, and now I am living out a true human likeness.