211 There Is a Pain Deep in My Heart
1 There is a pain deep in my heart; every time I think of the past, I feel the twist of a blade there. I once resisted and condemned Christ. I believed in God, yet did not know Him, and I resisted Him. I witnessed Christ expressing the truth, but I still denied Him; I was no different from the Pharisees. I’ll never forget this lesson written in blood, and am left with endless remorse and regret.
2 I believed in the Lord for years but did not pursue the truth, only equipping myself with biblical knowledge to show off. I discoursed on theology to make others look up to me, and my hard work was done for blessings and rewards. I was selfish and base, giving no consideration to God’s will. I said I wanted to satisfy God, but did not practice the truth. I voiced my loyalty to God, but was slipshod toward Him. I was outwardly pious, but did not submit.
3 God’s judgment and chastisement lay me prostrate upon the ground; I tremble in fear at His righteous disposition. I hate my profound corruption and inhumanity, having committed too many transgressions and broken God’s heart. I should long since have been destroyed by God for my actions, yet He is patient and tolerant with me, providing a chance to repent. Seeing God’s salvation fills my heart with remorse. I am resolved to practice the truth and live out a human likeness. I’m willing to expend my life for God and repay His love, submitting and worshiping Him forever.