194 Shackles

1 I really care about my status in the hearts of others. I like being looked up to by others and I enjoy being well-regarded. I bear humiliation and work hard just to push myself forward and lord myself over others. And this has become my shackles, binding me always. I’ve believed in God for many years but still seek to prevail over others and I love showing myself off. Full of hot air, I preach spiritual theories to trap and deceive others. Such a hypocrite, I offended God’s disposition long ago and God hated and rejected me. I fell into darkness and tasted deeply the pain of being bound by fame and fortune.

2 God’s words pierce my heart like a sharp two-edged sword, laying my nature bare and slicing open the ugliness in my soul. I see that arrogance and self-importance, and a lust for power, has become my nature. Scrambling for position by any means necessary, I lost my conscience and reason. Christ is supreme and noble, yet He is humble and never shows Himself off. I am dust, lowly and insignificant, and yet I am so conceited and self-righteous. Knowing that God’s disposition is righteous, holy and lovable, I have nowhere to hide my shame. I feel profoundly how corrupt I am, and I do not even closely resemble a human.

Experiencing the judgment of God’s words, I fall before God. I am determined to pursue the truth, to be a new person and to comfort God’s heart. By forsaking my flesh and practicing the truth, my satanic disposition is being cleansed. God’s judgment and chastisement have saved me, I thank and praise God!

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