By Qianqian, China

In 2019, I was training in shooting footage in the church. Since I was a beginner, the brothers and sisters didn’t have high expectations for me, and usually, they’d find the location, and I’d follow along to film. Even if my shots weren’t good, we could still use their footage, so I didn’t feel much pressure. As time passed and I spent more time doing my duty, I also needed to shoot footage on my own within specific time frames, and I also had to spend energy looking for suitable scenes, traveling to different locations to check if they met the shooting requirements. I felt that doing my duty this way was too exhausting and mentally draining, and I started to feel some resistance, so I began to handle things perfunctorily. I remember once we needed to shoot a scene before the autumn leaves turned yellow, and the footage had specific requirements for the location’s geography and the elements in the scene. But I thought, “This is too much hassle. I’m not familiar with this area, so how am I going to find it?” I checked a few places, but none of them were suitable for shooting, and I felt demotivated. Looking at the dense map made my head ache, and I thought, “How am I supposed to find it? This is a lot of effort. Anyway, there are other brothers and sisters searching, so when they find the location, wouldn’t it be the same if I just go along and film it?” Thinking this way, I went to sleep with my mind at ease. In the end, the other brothers and sisters found the right location and shot the footage. When we learned the footage had been deemed up to standard, everyone was very happy. But since I hadn’t put any effort into this footage, when I saw everyone joyous, I felt a little guilty. But then I thought, “I’m a newcomer, so it’s understandable that I didn’t pay a price.” Thus, I didn’t take it seriously.

Another time, we needed to shoot a new type of footage, which required us to learn some professional skills. When I saw that there were many tutorials, and all were filled with technical terms, I thought, “How long will it take to finish watching all these tutorials one by one? Then I still have to figure out the shooting methods from the tutorials. This is too much hassle! Some brothers and sisters have already shot good footage, so can’t I just ask them to tell me how to shoot it instead? That way, I won’t have to rack my brain thinking about it. I’ll be able to save time and still do my duty well. That’s like killing two birds with one stone.” I then asked a supervisor to help me reach out to them, but instead of helping, she just gave me a tutorial, and said that once I’d finished watching it, I’d understand. I thought, “If I still don’t understand after watching the tutorial, shouldn’t you just tell me the shooting method instead?” So I skimmed through the tutorial, and carelessly shot two pieces of footage. Later, I thought, “Why not study the tutorial more and try shooting again?” But then I thought, “Shooting a piece of footage takes time and effort, and after shooting, I’ll need special software to composite it, and the effect won’t be visible until the footage is rendered. I don’t have the software now, so I won’t be able to see the final result of the footage. Even if I shoot again, I won’t know if it’s suitable. What if in the end, none of it is suitable and I’ll have wasted my time? It isn’t worth it! Best not to shoot it. I’ll just wait until the supervisor brings me the software, then I’ll see what it looks like after checking the composited effect of the two pieces of footage.” So over the next few days, I didn’t shoot any footage. I also thought, “If the supervisor thinks I haven’t shot enough, I can use this excuse to fob her off.” Later, the supervisor saw that I’d only shot two pieces of footage and listened to the questions I raised, and she then pointed out, “We’ve been talking about shooting this footage for a month. The tutorial was sent to you long ago, and your questions were answered in the tutorial. But you didn’t study it carefully and only shot two pieces of footage. Your progress has been really slow.” At that moment, I argued back inside, “If you had given me the software earlier, wouldn’t I have been able to see the effect earlier and get the footage done sooner?” But then I realized I really had been passive about my duty, so I didn’t argue back. Later, when I watched the tutorial in earnest, I finally realized that all the questions I had asked were answered in the tutorial, and that even the two pieces of footage I’d shot perfunctorily were clearly mentioned as unsuitable in the tutorial. I hadn’t noticed this because I hadn’t studied the tutorial carefully. As for the parts I’d thought were difficult, I’d have understood them if I had taken the time to go through the tutorial carefully. It wasn’t that difficult to learn at all. If I had watched the tutorial attentively earlier, I would have mastered the basic operations of shooting, and I wouldn’t have still been unable to shoot good footage after a month. It was at this point that I realized I had been handling things too perfunctorily.

One evening, the supervisors suddenly came to our group and said they would streamline the team, and after a comprehensive evaluation, they concluded that my results from my duty hadn’t been good, and that my technical skills hadn’t improved much. So I was removed from my duties. Hearing this made me feel a little upset, but I realized that this situation hadn’t come about for no reason, and that I must’ve been removed due to my own problems, and that I had to submit and reflect on myself properly. I thought of God’s words: “Right now, a wide range of problems still exist in many of those who perform duties. Some people are always very passive in their duties, always sitting and waiting and relying on others. What sort of attitude is that? It is irresponsibility. God’s house has arranged for you to do a duty, yet you ponder on it for days without getting any concrete work done. You are nowhere to be seen at the workplace, and people cannot find you when they have problems that need resolving. You have not shouldered this work. If a leader inquires about the work, what will you tell them? You are not doing any kind of work right now. You are well aware that this work is your responsibility, but you do not do it. What on earth are you thinking? Do you not do any work because you are incapable of it? Or are you just greedy for comfort? What attitude do you have toward your duty? You only talk about words and doctrines, and you only say pleasant-sounding things, but you do not do any actual work. If you do not wish to perform your duty, you should resign. Do not hold your position and not do anything there. Is doing so not inflicting harm on God’s chosen people and compromising the work of the church? In the way you talk, you seem to understand all manner of doctrine, but when asked to perform a duty, you are perfunctory, and not conscientious in the least. Is that expending yourself sincerely for God? You are not sincere when it comes to God, yet you feign sincerity. Are you capable of deceiving Him? In the way you usually talk, there seems to be such great faith; you would like to be the pillar of the church and its rock. But when you perform a duty, you are less useful than a matchstick. Is this not deceiving God with your eyes wide open? Do you know what will come of you trying to deceive God? He will spurn and eliminate you!” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only an Honest Person Can Live Out True Human Likeness). From God’s words, I saw that being too passive in one’s duty, always sitting, waiting, and relying on others is an irresponsible attitude. On the surface, what they say sounds good, but when it comes time to do their duties, they just go through the motions, aren’t sincere with God, fail to fulfill the duties they should, and delay the church’s work. If this continues, they will end up being spurned and eliminated by God. What God exposed was the behavior I showed in my duty. When I first started training in shooting footage, I was very determined, saying I would carry it out as best I could, but as soon as I faced difficulties in my duty, I started going through the motions, unwilling to trouble myself or endure hardship. For example, when shooting light and shadow footage, I found it hard and too troublesome to look for suitable locations, so I was slippery and just tagged along, and I just waited for the brothers and sisters I was cooperating with to find the location, so I could just follow and shoot what was ready. Later, when shooting a new type of footage, I thought studying the tutorial was too much trouble, and I was unwilling to put in the effort to learn how to shoot. Instead, I waited for others to just tell me how to do it. Even when I watched the tutorial, I just went through the motions. I even tried to fool the supervisor with two pieces of footage that weren’t up to standard, trying to cover up the fact that I’d been slippery and slacked off and that I hadn’t studied the tutorial in earnest. In the end, I tried to make excuses and shift the responsibility onto the supervisor, complaining that the supervisor didn’t give me the software to view the results. I was truly deceitful and irresponsible. Removal from my duty was entirely something I brought on by myself. Thinking about this, I regretted my previous behaviors and I wished to change my attitude toward my duty.

Three months later, I returned to where I’d been before to do my duty. I was very excited and extremely grateful to God for giving me this opportunity. Later, the supervisor asked us to gather various plants for a shoot, and I was able to do this diligently. Some plants were hard to find, so I relied on God, searched for information, and cooperated with my brothers and sisters to find the materials. However, a corrupt disposition doesn’t change after experiencing just one situation, and after a while, I slipped back into my old habits.

One time, we needed to shoot some footage of clothing, and I needed to learn some lighting techniques, as well as things like how to arrange the clothes and capture their texture. I felt this was difficult. Especially since I had no foundation in lighting techniques for shooting clothing, I had to start learning from scratch. Some of the tutorials weren’t suitable for the footage we needed to shoot, so I had to search for appropriate ones while watching them. I thought to myself, “Shooting this kind of footage is too mentally exhausting, and I happen to have other things to do. Why don’t I put off the footage for now and focus on other things first? This way, I won’t be so mentally exhausted. But this footage is urgent; wouldn’t it be wrong to just ignore it? In any case, I need to finish the other things quickly. Putting off the footage shouldn’t delay things too much.” So I focused on other things first, and as a result, I delayed the progress of the footage shooting. Eventually, I was pruned, and only then did I hurry to shoot the footage. About a month later, the supervisor said that the team would have to downsize again due to work needs. This time, although I wasn’t cut in the downsizing, I was put under observation. This downsizing really struck me, and I felt it was a warning from God. From then on, I consciously sought out relevant passages of God’s words to solve my problems.

I read God’s words: “There are not many opportunities currently to perform a duty, so you must take hold of them when you can. It is precisely when faced with a duty that you must exert yourself; that is when you must offer yourself up, expend yourself for God, and when you are required to pay the price. Do not hold anything back, harbor any schemes, leave any leeway, or give yourself a way out. If you leave any leeway, are calculating, or are slippery and slack off, then you are bound to do a poor job. Suppose you say, ‘No one saw me being slippery and slacking off. How cool!’ What kind of thinking is this? Do you think you have pulled the wool over people’s eyes, and over God’s, too? In actual fact, though, does God know what you have done or not? He knows. In fact, anyone who interacts with you for a while will learn of your corruption and vileness, and though they may not say so outright, they will have their assessments of you in their hearts. There have been many people who were revealed and eliminated because so many others came to understand them. Once everyone saw through to their essence, they exposed those people for who they were and kicked them out. So, whether they pursue the truth or not, people should do their duty well to the best of their ability; they should employ their conscience in doing practical things. You may have defects, but if you can be effective in performing your duty, you will not be eliminated. If you are always thinking that you are fine, that you are sure not to be eliminated, if you still do not reflect or try to know yourself, and you ignore your proper tasks, if you are always perfunctory, then when God’s chosen people really do lose their tolerance with you, they will expose you for who you are, and in all likelihood, you will be eliminated. That’s because everyone has seen through you and you have lost your dignity and integrity. If no one trusts you, could God trust you? God scrutinizes man’s innermost heart: He absolutely could not trust such a person. If someone is an unreliable person, do not, under any circumstances, entrust them with a task” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Life Entry Begins With the Performance of Duty). God requires us to be earnest, pay a price, and put all our effort into our duties. If I always acted slippery, slacked off, and went through the motions, although I might deceive people for a while, I couldn’t deceive God, and in time, the brothers and sisters would see through me and no longer trust me, and my integrity and dignity would be completely lost. Based on my consistent behavior, I was truly undeserving of anyone’s trust. Every time I faced a duty that required me to suffer or pay a price, I always considered my flesh and played tricks. The church arranged for me to shoot some footage, but when I thought about how I’d have to suffer and pay a price in studying tutorials, it seemed mentally exhausting, and I put the urgently needed footage aside and got busy with other things, keeping people from thinking I was being idle or from saying that I didn’t have a sense of burden in my duty. But in reality, I felt that shooting this footage would be too tiring, and I just wanted to find an easier task to do. Actually, it’s not that I wasn’t able to shoot this footage; I just needed to put in a little effort, but I wasn’t willing to suffer, and as a result, I delayed the video production progress. A person who truly considers God’s intentions can share God’s worries and thoughts in their duties. They do their duties well with all their heart and strength according to the requirements of God’s house, and they don’t delay the church’s work. But I didn’t consider the church’s interests at all, and I didn’t think about how to quickly shoot the materials and speed up the progress. It was like I was working for nonbelievers, just getting by day by day, and laboring without any loyalty, and my behavior pushed me outside the gates of God’s house. I had already been removed once for delaying my duty because I was being slippery and slacking off, and yet I was still acting like this. I’d truly failed to live up to God’s intention! With such an attitude toward my duties, I was truly lacking in humanity, and if this continued, who would dare entrust any duties to me? Now, God’s house was still giving me an opportunity to repent, and if I didn’t turn things around, I would truly be eliminated.

Later, I read more of God’s words: “Until people have experienced God’s work and understood the truth, it is Satan’s nature that takes charge and dominates them from within. What, specifically, does that nature entail? For example, why are you selfish? Why do you protect your own position? Why do you have such strong feelings? Why do you enjoy those unrighteous things? Why do you like those evils? What is the basis for your fondness for such things? Where do these things come from? Why are you so happy to accept them? By now, you have all come to understand that the main reason behind all these things is that Satan’s poison is within man. So what is Satan’s poison? How can it be expressed? For example, if you ask, ‘How should people live? What should people live for?’ people will answer, ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.’ This single phrase expresses the very root of the problem. Satan’s philosophy and logic have become people’s lives. No matter what people pursue, they do so for themselves—and so they live only for themselves. ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost’—this is the life philosophy of man, and it also represents human nature. These words have already become the nature of corrupt mankind and they are the true portrait of corrupt mankind’s satanic nature. This satanic nature has already become the basis for corrupt mankind’s existence. For several thousand years, corrupt mankind has lived by this venom of Satan, right up to the present day” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Walk the Path of Peter). As I pondered God’s words, I reflected on how I’d been doing my duties in a perfunctory manner, being slippery and slacking off, because I’d been living by the satanic poison of “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.” In order to protect my own fleshly interests, I took the easiest and most comfortable way, and even though the footage was urgently needed for the video production, I just cast it aside and only looked for easier tasks to do. I’d been truly crafty and deceitful, and in the end, I’d delayed the progress of my brothers and sisters’ video production. I thought I was being clever by doing things this way, and that I was avoiding exhaustion and being pruned, and that I was pulling the wool over people’s eyes, but God scrutinizes everything. I had caliber but didn’t attend to proper work, and I’d tried to outwit God. I hadn’t been doing the duty that I should have been doing or showing any loyalty. I’d become a sly person who was irresponsible and untrustworthy. I realized that God’s righteous disposition does not tolerate offense, and that if I continued to approach my duties with this attitude, not valuing the opportunity for repentance that God had given me, I would truly lose this duty, and God would detest me even more. It was only then that I saw that living by the satanic poison of “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost” was thinking oneself clever. It would just end up harming me, and ultimately, I would be revealed and eliminated by God.

Later, I read God’s words: “When a person accepts what God entrusts to them, God has a standard for judging whether their actions are good or bad and whether the person has submitted, and whether the person has satisfied God’s intentions and whether what they do is up to standard. What God cares about is the person’s heart, not their actions on the surface. It is not the case that God should bless someone as long as they do something, regardless of how they do it. This is a misunderstanding people have about God. God looks not just at the end result of things, but places more emphasis on how a person’s heart is and how a person’s attitude is during the development of things, and He looks at whether there is submission, consideration, and the desire to satisfy God in their heart” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself I). “What are the manifestations of an honest person? Firstly, having no doubts about God’s words. That is one of the manifestations of an honest person. Apart from this, the most important manifestation is seeking and practicing the truth in all matters—this is most crucial. You say that you are honest, but you always push God’s words to the back of your mind and just do whatever you want. Is that the manifestation of an honest person? You say, ‘Although my caliber is poor, I have an honest heart.’ And yet when a duty falls to you, you are afraid of suffering and bearing responsibility if you do not do it well, so you make excuses to shirk your duty or suggest that someone else do it. Is this the manifestation of an honest person? Clearly, it is not. How, then, should an honest person behave? They should submit to God’s arrangements, be loyal to the duty they are supposed to perform, and strive to satisfy God’s intentions. This manifests itself in several ways: One is accepting your duty with an honest heart, not considering your fleshly interests, not being half-hearted about it, and not plotting for your own benefit. Those are manifestations of honesty. Another is putting all your heart and strength into performing your duty well, doing things properly, and putting your heart and love into your duty to satisfy God. These are the manifestations an honest person should have while performing their duty. If you understand and know what to do, but you don’t do it, then you are not putting all your heart and strength into your duty. Rather, you are sly and slacking off” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). From God’s words, I found a path of practice. The attitude one should have when a duty arises is to accept and submit, contemplating how to do one’s duty well with a heart that cares for and satisfies God. I also understood why honest people can practice the truth when faced with situations: It’s because they are pure and honest, and they are not trying to be slippery. When a duty arises, they listen and obey, and do it according to God’s requirements. They don’t consider their own interests and they can be wholehearted and give their all in trying to satisfy God. Such performance of duty gains God’s approval. But I was truly deceitful, as when faced with duties, I’d first consider whether my own interests would be harmed, and when I saw something that would involve suffering, even if I could do it, I’d not do it and I’d always be slippery. As a result, my performance in my duties wasn’t up to standard, and I committed too many transgressions. So, in my heart, I resolved to God that when faced with difficulties in my duties again, I had to put aside my personal interests, and do whatever I could to do my part first, and if I gave it my all and still couldn’t solve the issue, then I’d seek others’ help. This way, at least I’d have done my duty diligently.

Later, we needed to shoot footage that required 360-degree filming. There was a small bowl that had a unique shape that wobbled easily, making it difficult to film. After struggling with it a few times, I looked at the time and saw that two hours had passed, yet I still hadn’t finished filming, and I became very irritable, and was filled with feelings of resistance. I thought to myself, “At this rate, how long will I have to keep filming? In the end, it might not even work out. Anyway, I’ve tried several times, so if it still doesn’t work this time, I’ll let the supervisors do the shot. They have better skills than I do, and these kinds of difficult tasks should be theirs to film.” At that moment, I realized I was once again trying to cater to my flesh and avoid difficulty, and I suddenly thought of what I’d read during my morning devotionals about God’s fellowship on raising sheep. God says: “Why should I have to worry over something as trivial as feeding the sheep? I prepare everything for you, so why does it take so much effort to make you obey a few of My words? Am I asking you to climb a mountain of knives or swim in a sea of fire? Or is it too difficult to implement? Isn’t this your responsibility? This is all within your power to achieve, it is within the scope of your abilities. It is not too much to ask. How is it that you are not able to accomplish this? Where does the problem lie? Did I ask you to build an ark? (No.) So how great is the difference between what you were asked to do, and building an ark? It’s huge. The task you were asked to carry out would only take one or two days. All it would take was a few words. It was achievable. Building the ark was a massive undertaking, a 100-year undertaking. I dare say that if you had been born in the same era as Noah, not one of you would have been capable of obeying God’s words. When Noah obeyed God’s words, when he built the ark, bit by bit, as commanded by God, you would be the people standing to one side, holding Noah back, making fun of him, mocking him, and laughing at him. You absolutely are that kind of person. You are utterly devoid of the attitude of obeying and submitting. On the contrary, you demand that God shows you particular grace, and particularly blesses and enlightens you. How can you be so shameless? What do you say, which of the things that I just talked about is My responsibility? Which one do I have to do? (None of them.) All of these things are human matters. They are not My business. I should be able to leave you alone. So why do I have to get involved? I don’t do this because it is My obligation, but for your own good. None of you are concerned about this, none of you has undertaken this responsibility, none of you has these good intentions—so I have to take more pains regarding this. All that is needed is for you to obey and cooperate, it’s very simple—but you can’t even do that. Are you even human?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Two: How Noah and Abraham Obeyed God’s Words and Submitted to Him (Part One)). Pondering God’s words, I understood that the tasks God entrusts us with are all within our capacity to bear, and that He doesn’t make excessive demands of us. It was because of my extreme selfishness and despicableness that I couldn’t even do what I could do and always thought about myself. I lacked any sense of responsibility toward my duty, and I truly didn’t deserve to be called human! I then thought of when God commanded Noah to build the ark. Noah heard God’s words and immediately put them into practice, and he treated God’s commission as the greatest task of his life, and no matter how difficult it was, Noah never gave up. Noah’s attitude toward God’s commission was worthy of my emulation. Then I looked at myself. I always wanted to retreat when difficulties arose, and I didn’t want to suffer or pay a price. I felt utterly ashamed in comparison! Now, when facing such difficulties, I needed to rely on God to resolve them. If I just feared suffering and left everything to the supervisors, then wouldn’t I become a parasite living off of God’s house? So I prayed to God, saying that no matter how difficult things got, I was willing to rebel against my flesh and strive upward. After praying, I started filming again, and I thought of a little trick to keep the bowl from wobbling. As a result, I quickly finished the filming. At that moment, I was extremely excited, and I felt that God had heard my prayer. When I was willing to press on in the face of difficulty, God enlightened and guided me.

Reflecting on my experiences during this time, I regretted my past behavior of being perfunctory and slippery and slacking off. Not only did I delay the progress of the work, but I also lost the opportunity to practice the truth. I thought of other brothers and sisters who prayed to God when they encountered difficulties in their duties and pondered how to fulfill their duties. Because their hearts were directed toward God, and God enlightened and guided them, they not only achieved good results in their duties, but their filming skills also improved, and in their experiences, they also saw many of God’s deeds, which increased their faith in God. But I’d been doing filming duty for over a year, and when asked to talk about the gains I’d made in my duty, I couldn’t say anything, and I’d just pass difficulties off to others. I saw that being slippery and slacking off is really harmful. From then on, I had to change my attitude toward my duties. The more I lacked in any area, the more I needed to learn and equip myself in that area. Especially when first encountering a type of work and knowing nothing about it, I needed to learn more and put my heart into pondering it more. This way, I could improve my professional skills and also fulfill my duties to satisfy God. Later, when I encountered difficulties in my duties again, I’d look up more information to find the solutions, and by doing things this way, I experienced the stability and peace of doing my duties wholeheartedly. It also prompted me to learn and master some professional skills. I saw that facing difficulties is a means to be perfected and also an opportunity to experience God’s work. Only by doing my duties in this way can my heart find peace and joy. Thank God!