By Yixin, China

In March 2019, I was doing my duty as the supervisor of the church’s text-based work, which also involved screening articles. At the time, due to some personnel adjustments, the only more experienced members left on the team were Chang Li and Li Lin. I was in one group with Chang Li, while Li Lin was in another group with two newcomers to the team. In June, the leaders wrote to us, saying they wanted to promote Chang Li to do her duty on the proofreading team of God’s house, and asked if she was willing. Reading the letter, I couldn’t help but feel uneasy, “The team is already short-staffed, so why are they transferring Chang Li now? She’s the backbone of our team. She has good caliber and a good grasp of the principles. If she leaves, I’ll have to bear the workload all by myself. Not to mention how hard and tiring it will be, if I can’t select any good articles, won’t the leaders say my work capability is too poor and that I’m not suited to do a supervisor’s duty? Will I not completely lose face?” Even though I knew promoting Chang Li would benefit the church’s work and that I shouldn’t just consider my own interests, I still felt upset at the thought of her leaving, so I wanted to feel her out and see what she thought. Chang Li said, “I have too many shortcomings, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep up if I go. It would be too embarrassing if I couldn’t do my duty well. I’m up to the task here, so I don’t want to go.” Hearing her say this, I was secretly pleased, and it felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Although I also found some of God’s words to fellowship with her, in my heart, I was desperately hoping she wouldn’t leave, because that would make my work easier. Three days passed, and Chang Li still hadn’t replied to the leaders. I was getting antsy, so I probed her again, asking, “I see you still haven’t replied to the leaders. What are you planning to do?” She said she still hadn’t decided. I then said disingenuously, “To do your duty in the proofreading team of God’s house, you need to have a grasp of some principles and possess certain professional skills and work capabilities. Otherwise, you really won’t be able to do it well. But you would get more training, and your professional skills would improve quickly there.” Chang Li said she would seek more. Seeing that Chang Li still hadn’t expressed a clear attitude, I felt constantly uneasy, and thought, “Should I fellowship with her again, and encourage her to be considerate of God’s intentions and submit to the church’s arrangements?” But then I had another thought: “If she really leaves after I fellowship with her, I’ll have to take over all this work. My efficiency will definitely drop, and if the results decline, what will the leaders think of me?” After thinking it over and over, I didn’t fellowship with her in the end. Although I felt a bit of self-reproach, the thought of all the work piled up here made my heart pound. I was terrified she would agree to go do her duty elsewhere. “No,” I thought, “I have to write to the leaders and explain our actual situation so they will keep Chang Li here.” But then I thought again, “If I do that, won’t the leaders say I’m too selfish, that I’m not considerate of God’s intentions, and that I’m hindering God’s house from promoting and cultivating people?” After thinking it over and over, I deleted the letter I had started writing. For several days, this matter weighed on my mind. Two more days passed, and I noticed that Chang Li’s expression was different than usual. Her brows were relaxed, and it looked like she had started to write her reply. As soon as Chang Li finished her reply, I eagerly asked her what she had decided. When I heard she had agreed to go, I felt a bit disappointed. With her gone, I would lose a capable assistant, so I was really reluctant to let her go. But since the decision was made, I could only submit. I could only comfort myself, “I’ll just have to find another suitable person from the church. At least Li Lin is still shouldering the work in the other group. I’ll just have to do a bit more on my end. It probably won’t delay the work’s progress too much.”

Later, three new members were transferred to our group. After a month, the three new members had grasped some of the principles. Just then, I received a letter from the leaders, saying they were going to transfer the group leader, Li Lin, to the songwriting team to serve as its supervisor. As soon as I heard this, I felt unwilling. I thought, “The team is already short on people, and Li Lin has good caliber and helps share a lot of my workload. If she’s transferred, I won’t have the time to supervise the work of two groups by myself! If I can’t select any up-to-standard articles, what will the leaders think of me then? Won’t they say I have no work capability? If the work yields no results and I get dismissed, won’t I completely lose face? No, this time I have to write to the leaders. I have to keep Li Lin here no matter what. I can’t let her go.” So I wrote to the leaders, saying, “The new members still need to be cultivated. Could we wait until they are fully up to speed before transferring Li Lin?” In reality, two people in Li Lin’s group had already been cultivated for three or four months and could handle some of the work. But in order to maintain stable results, I still wanted to keep Li Lin. That way, I could save myself a lot of bother, and if the results of the work improved, I could even win the leaders’ admiration. But the leaders said that the songwriting team’s work was already being affected because they had no supervisor, and told me to rely on God more and shoulder this duty. After reading the letter, I couldn’t calm down at all. I thought to myself, “These leaders! They know all about the actual situation in our team, yet they’re transferring people away one after another. Won’t our team just fall apart? I’ll be in charge of two groups’ work. Not only will the workload increase, but the results will definitely decline.” During those days, I lost motivation in my duty and had no idea what I was doing in anything. I didn’t even know what to say to God in my prayers, and I couldn’t take in God’s words when I read them. At night, I would toss and turn, unable to sleep, my mind consumed with the thought, “How am I supposed to cultivate the new members of two groups all by myself? This duty is just too hard!” In my pain, I prayed to God, “Oh God, ever since Chang Li and then Li Lin were transferred away, I’ve been worried that the new members don’t grasp the principles and won’t be able to select up-to-standard articles, and that if the work doesn’t bear results, I’ll be looked down on by the leaders. I know that the leaders reassign personnel based on the needs of the work, but I just can’t submit in my heart. May You guide me to know myself and understand Your intentions.”

During my devotionals, I read a passage of God’s words and felt deeply reproached. God says: “In the house of God, all those who pursue the truth are united before God, not divided. They all work toward a common goal: fulfilling their duty, doing the work that falls to them, acting according to the truth principles, doing as God requires, and satisfying His intentions. If your goal is not for the sake of this, but for your own sake, for the sake of satisfying your selfish desires, then that is the revelation of a corrupt satanic disposition. In God’s house, duties are done according to the truth principles, while nonbelievers’ actions are governed by their satanic dispositions. These are two very different paths. Nonbelievers harbor their own schemes, each of them has their own aims and plans, and everyone lives for their own interests. That is why they all scramble for their own benefit and are unwilling to give up an inch of what they gain. They are divided, not united, because they are not out for a common goal. The intention and nature behind what they do is the same. They are all out for themselves. There is no truth that reigns in that; what does reign and is in charge in that is a corrupt satanic disposition. They are controlled by their corrupt satanic disposition and cannot help themselves, and so they fall deeper and deeper into sin. In God’s house, if the principles, methods, motivation, and starting point of your actions were no different from those of the nonbelievers, if you were also toyed with, controlled, and manipulated by a corrupt satanic disposition, and if the starting point of your actions were your own interests, reputation, pride, and status, then you would perform your duty no differently from the way nonbelievers do things” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). After reading God’s words, I reflected on myself. When the leaders wrote to say they wanted to transfer Chang Li, I was worried that if she left, the decline in the results of our work would affect my image in the leaders’ eyes, so I didn’t want to let her go. When I heard Chang Li say she didn’t want to go to train herself on the proofreading team of God’s house, I was secretly pleased. On the surface, I fellowshipped with her about God’s intentions, but in reality, I was trying to feel out her thoughts, hoping she would stay and cultivate the new group members and get the work going, so as to satisfy my desire for status and reputation. When I saw that she still hadn’t made her position clear, not only did I not fellowship about God’s intentions, but I actually hoped desperately that she wouldn’t go. I even thought about writing a letter to the leaders to emphasize the team’s difficulties, in order to keep her. After Chang Li was transferred, I thought that Li Lin could cultivate the new group members and the work wouldn’t be affected too much. But unexpectedly, the leaders then wanted to transfer Li Lin as well. My heart was suddenly filled with complaints and resistance, and I just couldn’t submit. I felt that the leaders weren’t considering our actual difficulties, and I even wrote a letter to the leaders to ask them not to transfer Li Lin, worried that a decline in the results of the work would make me lose my good image in the leaders’ eyes. I was constantly considering my own interests and not the church’s work. I was so selfish and despicable! The leaders had already made it clear that the songwriting team’s work had been delayed because they had no supervisor, and that they were transferring Li Lin for the sake of the church’s work. But in order to protect my own reputation and status, I didn’t want to let Li Lin go, even when I saw the church’s work suffering. I had no normal humanity at all! Nonbelievers fight and scramble over every little thing for personal interest; so that the article work I was supervising would be effective, I disregarded the work of the other team and tried to keep Li Lin to serve my own face and status. My actions were no different from those of nonbelievers. I was truly so selfish and despicable! Thinking of this, I felt deep regret and prayed to God, willing to repent.

In September 2021, a new sermon team was formed in the church due to the needs of the work. I was responsible for life experiential testimony articles, while the brother I cooperated with was responsible for the sermon work. The leaders wrote to us, asking us to expand our scope to screen for people who could write sermons, and also to make reasonable adjustments in duty assignments based on the strengths and results of everyone in the proofreading team. After the personnel adjustments, there were fewer people writing sermons, which delayed the work’s progress. The brother I cooperated with then discussed with me about transferring Sister Zhou Li from my area of responsibility to the sermon team. As soon as I heard this, I was unwilling. I thought, “Zhou Li has good caliber, has grasped some principles, and gets results in selecting articles. If she’s transferred, won’t the results of the work decline?” Thinking this, I refused. No matter what the brother said, I wouldn’t agree to Zhou Li’s transfer. Actually, I knew clearly in my heart that not only had Zhou Li grasped the principles of selecting articles, but she also had insights and was suited to writing sermons. Now, more people were needed to write sermons to preach the gospel and testify to God, so transferring her would be beneficial to the work. Was I not being too selfish by holding on to her? Thinking of this, I felt a bit of self-reproach. But then I thought that if she was transferred, the article work would be affected, and if the work results declined, the leaders would surely say that the previous results were achieved because of the cooperation of the brother in the team. Wouldn’t that make me look like I was nothing? I was in a dilemma and didn’t know what to do, and I lost motivation in my duty. I realized my state was incorrect, so I prayed and sought: “Why is it that every time someone with good caliber is transferred away from me, I feel resistant, am unable to submit, and even lose motivation in my duty?” Later, I read the words of God: “If someone of good caliber is transferred from under an antichrist to do another duty, the antichrist doggedly resists and rejects it in their heart, wants to call it quits, and no longer has enthusiasm for being a leader or team head. What problem is this? Why do they have no obedience toward the arrangements of the church? They think the transfer of their ‘right-hand man’ will impact the results and progress of their work, and that their status and reputation will be consequently affected, which will force them to work harder and suffer more to guarantee results—which is the last thing they want to do. They have grown used to comfort, and don’t want to do a bit more work or suffer a bit more, so they don’t want to let the person go. If the house of God goes ahead with the transfer anyway, they complain a lot and even want to throw down their work. Is this not selfish and vile? God’s chosen people should be centrally allocated by the house of God. This has nothing to do with any leader, team head, or individual. Everyone must act according to principle; this is the rule of God’s house. Antichrists do not act according to the principles of God’s house; they constantly scheme for the sake of their own status and interests, hoping to make use of the brothers and sisters of good caliber to serve them so as to consolidate their power and status. Is this not selfish and vile? Outwardly, keeping people of good caliber by their side and not allowing them to be transferred by the house of God appears as if they are thinking of church work, but in fact they are only thinking of their own power and status, and not about the work of the church at all. They are afraid that they will do the church work poorly and thus be dismissed, which will make them lose their status. Antichrists give no thought to the wider work of God’s house, think only of their own status, protect their own status with no compunction for the cost to the interests of the house of God, and defend their own status and interests to the detriment of the church’s work. This is selfish and vile. … That is the kind of people the antichrists are. They always treat the church’s work, and the brothers and sisters, and even all the assets of God’s house that fall within their scope of responsibility, as their own private property. They believe that it is up to them how these things are distributed, transferred, and used, and that the house of God is not allowed to intervene. Once they are in their hands, it is as if they are in the possession of Satan, no one is allowed to touch them. They’re the big shots, the head honchos, and whoever goes to their territory has to obey their orders and arrangements in a well-behaved and pliant manner, and take cues from their expressions. This is the manifestation of the selfishness and vileness within antichrists’ character. They give no consideration to the work of the house of God, they do not follow principle in the slightest, and only think of their own interests and status—which are all hallmarks of the selfishness and vileness of antichrists” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Four: Summarizing the Character of Antichrists and Their Disposition Essence (Part One)). From God’s words, I saw that the nature of antichrists is especially selfish and despicable. When doing their duties, they are not at all considerate of God’s intentions. No matter what they do, they only consider their own interests. In order to protect their own reputation and status, they hold on tightly to people with good caliber, not allowing them to be reassigned by God’s house. Weren’t my manifestations the same as those of an antichrist? When Chang Li was being transferred, I was very reluctant because I was afraid a decline in the results of the work would affect my reputation and status. When I heard the leaders wanted to transfer my capable assistant, Li Lin, my heart was filled with even more resistance. I even wrote a letter to the leaders out of my corrupt disposition, trying to prevent them from transferring Li Lin. Seeing that I didn’t get my way, I became negative and slacked off in my duty. After the sermon team was established, the brother I cooperated with communicated to me that Zhou Li had insights and was suited to writing sermons. I also knew that transferring her would be beneficial to the sermon work, but in order to protect my own reputation and status, I refused to let her go, despite my partner discussing it with me many times, which delayed the progress of the sermon work. I always wanted to keep the team members with good caliber by my side for my own use. Wasn’t I treating my brothers and sisters as tools in my pursuit of reputation and status? I clearly knew that the work of the other team was already being affected and they needed people more than our team did, yet I still refused to let her go. I would rather see the church’s work suffer than stop protecting my own interests. I was truly so selfish and despicable! Wasn’t the nature of my actions the same as those of the big shots and head honchos that God exposes? I didn’t allow anyone to transfer people who were beneficial to my reputation and status, and I always wanted to keep a tight grip on people. I was walking the path of an antichrist. If I continued like this, I would surely be spurned and eliminated by God.

Afterward, I read more of God’s words and came to understand even more the serious nature of my actions. God says: “What is the standard by which a person’s actions and behavior are judged to be good or evil? It is whether or not they, in their thoughts, revelations, and actions, possess the testimony of putting the truth into practice and of living out the truth reality. If you do not have this reality or live this out, then without doubt, you are an evildoer. How does God regard evildoers? To God, your thoughts and external actions do not bear testimony for Him, nor do they humiliate and defeat Satan; instead, they bring shame to Him, and they are riddled with marks of dishonoring Him. You are not bearing testimony to God, you are not expending yourself for God, nor are you fulfilling your responsibilities and obligations for the sake of God; instead, you are acting for your own sake. What does ‘for your own sake’ mean? To be precise, it means for Satan’s sake. Therefore, in the end, God will say, ‘Depart from Me, you that work iniquity.’ In God’s eyes, your actions will not be seen as good deeds, they will be considered evil deeds. Not only will they fail to gain God’s approval—they will be condemned. What does one hope to gain from such a belief in God? Would such belief not come to naught in the end?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Dispositions). From God’s words, I understood that God measures whether a person’s actions are good or evil based on their intentions and starting point—whether they are upholding the interests of God’s house or their own personal interests. Comparing myself with God’s words, I reflected that in these personnel reassignments, I wasn’t thinking about how to satisfy God, but was instead considering my own reputation and status at every turn. In order to protect my reputation and status, I tried to prevent the leaders from transferring my sisters away. Even when I felt self-reproach, I still stubbornly tried to keep them. When I didn’t get my way, I became negative and lost motivation in my duty. In my thoughts and manifestations, I was not practicing the truth to satisfy God; this was evil in God’s eyes and incurred His loathing and hatred. I thought about the time when the Lord Jesus was working. The chief priests and Pharisees of Judaism did not accept the Lord Jesus’ work, and even resisted and condemned Him. In order to protect their own status and livelihood, they kept a tight grip on the believers, and even shamelessly said that the believers belonged to them. The pastors and elders in the religious world today are the same. In order to protect their own status, they prevent believers from investigating the true way, claiming God’s sheep as their own, opposing God, and competing with Him for people. They have become the evil servants and antichrists revealed by God. Was there any difference between the nature of my actions and those of the Pharisees or of the pastors and elders in the religious world? In order to protect my personal reputation and status, I hindered the transfer of a talented person, delaying the progress of the sermon work. This was an offense against God’s disposition! Realizing this, I felt terrified. If I didn’t repent, my outcome would be the same as that of the Pharisees and the pastors and elders of the religious world—I would surely be cursed and punished by God. Recognizing the seriousness of the problem, I wanted to resolve my issues.

Later, I read two passages of God’s words and found a path of practice. Almighty God says: “If you only ever do things for others to see, and always want to gain others’ praise and admiration, and you do not accept God’s scrutiny, then is God still in your heart? Such people have no God-fearing hearts. Do not always do things for your own sake and do not constantly consider your own interests; give no thought to your own pride, reputation, and status, and do not consider your personal interests. You must above all consider the interests of God’s house, and make them your priority. You should be considerate of God’s intentions and above all contemplate whether or not there have been impurities in the performance of your duty, whether you have been devoted, fulfilled your responsibilities, and given it your all, as well as whether or not you have been wholeheartedly thinking about your duty and the work of the church. You must consider these things. If you think about them frequently and figure them out, it will be easier for you to perform your duty well. The only exception is if your caliber is poor, or your experience is shallow, or you are not proficient enough in your professional work, and this leads to some mistakes or deficiencies arising in your work, and prevents good results from being achieved, but you are already doing your best. You are not acting in order to satisfy your own selfish desires or preferences. Instead, in every respect you are giving consideration to the work of the church and the interests of the house of God. Though you may not be achieving good results in your duty, your heart has been set right; if, on top of this, you are able to seek the truth to solve the problems in your duty, you will be up to standard in the performance of your duty, and, at the same time, you will enter into the truth reality. Then, you will possess testimony” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Dispositions). “For all who perform a duty, no matter how profound or shallow their understanding of the truth is, the simplest practice for entering into the truth reality is to think of the interests of God’s house at every turn, letting go of their selfish desires, personal intents, motives, pride, and status, and putting the interests of God’s house first—this is the least they should do. If a person who performs a duty cannot even do this much, then how can they be said to be performing their duty? That is not performing one’s duty. You should first think of the interests of God’s house, be considerate of God’s intentions, and take the work of the church into account. Put these things first and foremost; only after that can you think about the stability of your status or how others regard you. Divide it into two steps, making a bit of a compromise—don’t you feel this makes things a little easier? If you practice like this for a while, you will come to feel that satisfying God is not a difficult thing. Furthermore, if you can fulfill your responsibilities; fulfill your obligations and duty; set aside your selfish desires, intents, and motives; show consideration for God’s intentions; and put the interests of God’s house, the work of the church, and the duty that you are supposed to perform first, then, after experiencing like this for a while, you will feel that conducting yourself in this way is good, that people should live in an honest and aboveboard manner, and that they shouldn’t lead a spineless, sordid, base existence, but rather they should be upstanding and just. You will feel that this is the image a person ought to live out. Gradually, your desire to satisfy your own interests will lessen” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Dispositions). From God’s words, I came to understand God’s intentions and requirements. No matter what I do, I must set my intentions right and accept God’s scrutiny, not consider my own face or status, put the interests of God’s house first, and fulfill my own duty and responsibility. Especially as I was a supervisor, I should have actively cultivated talented people, and promoted and cultivated all the brothers and sisters with strengths within my scope of responsibility, so they could play their roles in suitable duties. After understanding God’s intentions, I was willing to let go of my own interests and practice according to God’s words. I had to put the church’s work first and stop being so selfish. To my surprise, after a period of training, the three new group members made rapid progress in selecting articles and were soon able to shoulder the group’s work.

In 2023, I was doing my duty as a church leader, and Sister Yixun was responsible for the gospel work. She was skilled in preaching the gospel, had good caliber and work capability, and was able to work independently. One day in May, the upper-level leaders asked us to write an evaluation of Yixun, as they were preparing to transfer her to supervise the gospel work with a broader scope of responsibility. Hearing this news, I was startled, and thought, “The gospel work Yixun has been supervising recently has just started to show improvement. If she’s transferred, I’ll have to find someone new. If I can’t find a suitable gospel worker and the results of the gospel work decline, what will others think of me?” I felt a bit resistant. Just as I was about to complain to the sister I cooperated with, I realized my state was incorrect. Why was I considering my own interests again? I thought of God’s words: “When required by the work of God’s house, no matter who they are, everyone should submit to the coordination and arrangements of God’s house, and absolutely should not be controlled by any individual leader or worker as if they belong to them or are subject to their decisions. The obedience of God’s chosen people to the centralized arrangements of the house of God is perfectly natural and justified, and these arrangements may not be defied by anyone, unless an individual leader or worker makes an arbitrary transfer that is not in accordance with principle, in which case this arrangement may be disobeyed. If a normal transfer is made in accordance with the principles, then all of God’s chosen people should obey, and no leader or worker has the right or any reason to try to control anyone. Would you say there is any work that is not the work of the house of God? Is there any work that does not involve the spreading of God’s kingdom gospel? It is all the work of God’s house, each work is equal, and there is no ‘yours’ and ‘mine.’ If the transfer is in line with principle and based on the requirements of church work, then these people should go where they are needed most” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Four: Summarizing the Character of Antichrists and Their Disposition Essence (Part One)). From God’s words, I understood that personnel arrangements should be made according to the needs of the work of God’s house, and I should accept and submit to all personnel transfers as long as they are reasonable. I have no right to hold on to people and not let them go. I cannot always consider my own interests. No matter where my brothers and sisters are transferred to do their duties, it is all for the sake of propagating God’s gospel of the kingdom. Letting my sister go to a suitable place to do her duty would allow her to better fulfill her function and would be beneficial to the church’s work. After understanding God’s intentions, I arranged for my brothers and sisters to write an evaluation for Yixun, and she was transferred soon after. Later, we selected new gospel workers, and after a period of training, they also shouldered the work. The gospel work was not affected.

In the past, I had always believed that the results of the work would certainly decline if talented people were transferred away, but now I saw that this view was fallacious. The most crucial thing in doing one’s duty is whether one’s heart is right. If you can be considerate of God’s intentions, let go of your personal interests, put the interests of God’s house first, and practice according to God’s words, you will see God’s leadership and blessings, and you will do your duty better and better. Just as God says: “Things that are in accordance with the truth principles yield increasingly good results, while things that are not in accordance with the truth principles lead to increasingly bad consequences, even if they fit with people’s notions at the time. People will all receive confirmation of this” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Path of Resolving Corrupt Dispositions).