By Su Yan, China

In November 2023, I started doing the duty of evaluating and selecting sermons. Thinking about how I’d been dismissed when I used to be a leader because my caliber was poor and I couldn’t do real work, I knew that being able to do this text-based duty was God’s exaltation and grace. Even with my poor caliber, I was willing to do my best to cooperate, so afterward, I proactively studied the principles. I saw that the other brothers and sisters could all apply the principles they learned to their duties, and after a while, they all made progress. I really envied them. But then I looked at myself: I could understand the principles while studying them, but when it came to actually applying them, I couldn’t connect the dots or apply the principles flexibly. The sermons I selected always had deviations and problems. I thought to myself, “My caliber is just too poor. It seems only those with good caliber and who are quick on the uptake can do this duty well. In the past, as a leader, I was responsible for several items of work, but because of my poor caliber and lack of work capability, I didn’t get results in my duty. Now, I’ve studied just this one task of evaluating sermons, and still haven’t achieved any results. If I can’t even do this duty well, I’m afraid I’ll lose my chance to attain salvation.” As soon as I thought about this, I lost all motivation to study. I felt that studying was pointless given my poor caliber. After that, I just went through the motions in my duty, and didn’t want to put effort into the principles anymore; the sermons I selected also frequently had problems. Later, the leader arranged for Sister Zhao Ying to help me. I wanted to earnestly learn from her and master the principles as soon as possible to do my duty well. But when I saw how good Zhao Ying’s caliber was, and how quick on the uptake she was, able to put the principles into practice, and getting good results in her duty, and then looked at myself—poor caliber, slow on the uptake, and getting poor results in my duty—I thought to myself, “With a caliber like mine, can I really do this duty well? If I can’t, and I get eliminated, won’t I lose my chance to attain salvation?” At this thought, I started grumbling internally, “God, You created all of us. Why did You give others such good caliber, and me such poor caliber?” The more I thought this way, the darker my heart became. Realizing I was complaining about God, I didn’t dare to think about it any further and begged God to protect my heart. Later, Zhao Ying fellowshipped with me about the deviations in my sermon evaluations. When she pointed out my shortcomings one by one, I became even more despondent. I felt that I’d been doing this duty for several months but still had so many problems in it. My caliber truly wasn’t up to par. While we were studying principles, Zhao Ying asked me to fellowship, but I thought that with my caliber, even if I did fellowship I wouldn’t be able to apply it later, so I just said a few perfunctory words. As a result, I gained nothing from two days of study. I realized my state was wrong, so I prayed to God, “God, I always feel my caliber is poor, and that if I can’t do this duty well, I’ll be dismissed and eliminated. I’m stuck in these negative emotions and can’t get out. Dear God, I beg You to enlighten and guide me.” Later, I thought of God’s words: “The ability to perform one’s duty well is not solely dependent on a person’s caliber, but principally on their attitude toward their duty, their character, whether their humanity is good or bad, and whether they are able to accept the truth. These are the root issues” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Proper Fulfillment of Duty Requires Harmonious Cooperation). God says that whether someone can do their duty well doesn’t entirely depend on their caliber, but depends mainly on their attitude toward their duty and whether they can accept the truth. What kind of caliber a person has is preordained by God. As long as they do their utmost and act according to the principles in their duty, they will be in accordance with God’s intentions. But then I looked at my own attitude toward my duty: When my sermon evaluations contained many deviations, I didn’t rack my brain for ways to overcome the difficulties. Instead, I became negative and passed verdict on myself. I thought that since I’d already studied what I was supposed to, with my caliber, I’d never master the principles or do my duty well no matter how hard I tried. So, I stopped wanting to strive. Thinking about it, these weren’t the manifestations of someone who accepts the truth. If I didn’t strive, the Holy Spirit couldn’t work to guide me, and I certainly wouldn’t be able to do my duty well.

Afterward, I read God’s words and gained some more understanding of my problem. Almighty God says: “Some people feel that their caliber is too low and that they lack the comprehension ability, so they pass verdicts on themselves, and they feel that no matter how much they pursue the truth, they will not be able to meet God’s requirements. They think that no matter how hard they try, it’s useless, and that’s all there is to it, so they are always negative, and as a result, even after years of believing in God, they haven’t gained any truth. Without doing the hard work to pursue the truth, you say that your caliber is too poor, you give up on yourself, and you always live in a negative state. As a result, you don’t understand the truth that you should understand or practice the truth within your ability—aren’t you the one hindering yourself? If you always say that your caliber isn’t good enough, isn’t this evading and shirking responsibility? If you can suffer, pay a price, and gain the work of the Holy Spirit, then you will inevitably be able to understand some truths and enter into some realities. If you don’t look to or rely on God, and you give up on yourself without putting in any effort or paying a price, and simply surrender, then you are a good-for-nothing, and lack a shred of conscience and reason. No matter whether your caliber is poor or outstanding, if you have a bit of conscience and reason, you should properly complete what you ought to do and your mission; being a deserter is a terrible thing and a betrayal of God. This is irredeemable. Pursuing the truth requires a firm will, and people who are too negative or weak will accomplish nothing. They will not be able to believe in God until the end, and, if they wish to obtain the truth and achieve a change of disposition, they have less hope still. Only those who pursue the truth and have resolve can obtain it and be perfected by God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). What God exposed was exactly my state. I saw the brothers and sisters applying the principles they had learned and achieving good results in their duties. But after I studied, not only did I not improve, I also constantly had deviations and problems. As a result, I passed verdict on myself as having poor caliber and being slow on the uptake, living amid negative emotions and being unwilling to put effort into the principles. The leader had arranged for Zhao Ying to guide me, which was beneficial for both me and the work. But when I saw that she had good caliber, comprehended the principles quickly, and achieved results in her duty, I didn’t learn from her strengths to make up for my own shortcomings. Instead, I blamed God for not giving me good caliber, and passed verdict on myself as being incapable of doing anything well due to my poor caliber. I lost motivation for my duty, and was no longer willing to put effort into pondering the principles. I saw that I was too fragile and lacked perseverance—I was a useless wimp. People with good humanity are considerate of God’s intentions and have a sense of responsibility toward their duty. Even when they face difficulties, they don’t become negative, slack off, or give up on themselves. They don’t take their frustrations out on their duty, much less argue with or misunderstand God. But I passed verdict on myself, convinced that with my poor caliber, I could never do my duty well no matter how hard I tried. I also became unwilling to study the principles and did my duty in a perfunctory way, just going through the motions. This led to many deviations and problems in my sermon evaluations, which delayed the work. God provided me with so much truth and arranged for brothers and sisters to help me, but I was halfhearted and irresponsible in my duty. When I ran into difficulties, I acted like a deserter. I was truly unworthy of eating, drinking and enjoying God’s words. If I kept on like that, I really would be eliminated. Thinking about this, I realized I could no longer treat my duty so negatively and passively: I had to do my utmost to do it well. Gradually, I began to find a bit of a path in my duty and was able to achieve some results.

One day, I read God’s words and gained some understanding of God’s intentions. Almighty God says: “‘Though my caliber is low, I have an honest heart.’ These words sound very real, and speak of a requirement God makes of people. What requirement? That if people are lacking in caliber, it is not the end of the world, but they must possess an honest heart, and if they do, they will be able to receive God’s approval. No matter your situation or background, you must be an honest person, speak honestly, act honestly, be able to perform your duty with all your heart and mind, be devoted to your duty, not look to cut corners, not be a slippery or deceitful person, not lie or deceive, and not talk in circles. You must act according to the truth and be someone who pursues the truth. Many people think they are of poor caliber, and that they never fulfill their duty well or up to standard. They give their very best in what they do, but they can never grasp the principles, and still cannot produce very good results. Ultimately, all they can do is complain that they are too poor in caliber, and they become negative. So, is there no way forward when a person is of poor caliber? Being of poor caliber is not a fatal disease, and God never said He does not save people who are of poor caliber. As God said before, He is grieved by those who are honest but ignorant. What does it mean to be ignorant? Ignorance in many cases comes from being of poor caliber. When people are of poor caliber they have a shallow understanding of the truth. It is not specific or practical enough, and is often limited to a surface-level or literal understanding—it is limited to doctrine and regulations. That is why they cannot see many problems clearly, and can never grasp the principles while performing their duty, or do their duty well. Does God not want people of poor caliber then? (He does.) What path and direction does God point people toward? (That of being an honest person.) Can you be an honest person just by saying so? (No, we must have the manifestations of an honest person.) What are the manifestations of an honest person? Firstly, having no doubts about God’s words. That is one of the manifestations of an honest person. Apart from this, the most important manifestation is seeking and practicing the truth in all matters—this is most crucial” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). From God’s words, I understood that having poor caliber isn’t a fatal flaw. God has never said that people with poor caliber cannot attain salvation. God has different requirements for people based on their different calibers. As long as a person can approach their duty with an honest heart, practice as much of the truth as they understand, and do their utmost in their duty, God will not eliminate them. It’s a fact that my caliber is poor, that I can’t think inferentially when it comes to the principles, and that my comprehension ability isn’t as good as that of my sister. But it’s not that I can’t comprehend any principles at all; I’m just a bit slower. So, I should pray to God more and put more effort into pondering His words. When my sisters point out the problems in my sermon evaluations, I should focus on those issues and study the principles to make up for my shortcomings. That’s the way to make progress quickly. This is God’s love, a special favor just for me! After understanding God’s intentions, I was no longer negative, and I stopped planning for my own future. I became willing to absorb my brothers and sisters’ good paths of practice, to study the principles in a down-to-earth way, to not be slick or hold anything back, and to do my utmost to fulfill my duty.

Afterward, I read more of God’s words and gained some understanding of the root of my negativity. God says: “The saddest thing about mankind’s belief in God is that man engages in his own enterprise amidst the work of God and yet pays no heed to God’s management. Man’s biggest failure is that, as he pursues submitting to God and worshiping God, he simultaneously constructs his own dream of an aspirational destination and plots how to receive the greatest blessing and the best destination. Even if people understand how pathetic, detestable, and pitiable they are, how many can readily abandon their aspirations and hopes? And who is able to halt their own steps and stop making plans on their own behalf? God needs those who will cooperate closely with Him to complete His management. He needs those who will devote their entire mind and body to the work of His management in order to submit to Him. He does not need people who hold out their hands to beg from Him every day, much less those who expend a little for Him and then wait to demand repayment from Him. God hates those who make a paltry contribution and then rest on their laurels. He hates those cold-blooded people who are antipathetic toward the work of His management and only want to talk about going to heaven and gaining blessings. He has an even greater hatred for those who take advantage of the opportunity presented by His work of salvation for their own benefit. That’s because these people have never cared about what God wants to achieve and gain through the work of His management. They are only concerned with how they can use the opportunity provided by the work of God to obtain blessings. They are not considerate of God’s heart at all, being wholly preoccupied with their own prospects and fate. Those who are antipathetic toward the work of God’s management, and who lack even the slightest interest in how God saves mankind and His intentions, are all doing things they like to do outside the scope of God’s management work. Their actions are neither remembered nor approved of by God, much less looked upon favorably by God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Appendix 3: Man Can Only Be Saved Amidst God’s Management). “An antichrist sees being blessed as greater than the heavens, greater than life, more important than pursuing the truth, dispositional change, or personal salvation, and more important than doing their duty well, and being a created being that is up to standard. They think that being a created being that is up to standard, doing their duty well and being saved are all paltry things that are hardly worth mentioning or remarking on, while gaining blessings is the only thing in their entire life that can never be forgotten. In whatever they encounter, no matter how great or small, they relate it to being blessed, and are incredibly cautious and attentive, and they always leave a way out for themselves” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Twelve: They Want to Withdraw When They Have No Status or No Hope of Gaining Blessings). From the exposure of God’s words, I saw that antichrists believe in God to receive blessings and benefits for themselves. They don’t pursue the truth to achieve a change in disposition and satisfy God; instead, they try to exchange their efforts and expenditures in their duties for God’s blessings. They are using God and trying to bargain with Him. They see receiving blessings as more important than pursuing the truth or dispositional change. I saw that my own manifestations were just like those of an antichrist. Ever since I came to believe in God, I was always willing to suffer and pay a price to cooperate, whether the church arranged for me to water newcomers or to be a leader or worker. That’s because I knew that by doing more duties and preparing more good deeds, I could attain salvation and enter the kingdom of heaven. But when I saw that my poor caliber prevented me from doing leadership duty, and that I couldn’t apply the principles when evaluating sermons, I worried that I wouldn’t be able to do any duty well and would be eliminated, and that my hope of attaining salvation would be lost. When I felt my desire for blessings had been shattered, I became negative, passed verdict on myself, and gave up on myself; in my duty, I just went through the motions and was perfunctory. I saw that in my belief in God and my duty, I was just trying to bargain with God. I was deceiving and using God: I was a despicable person for whom profit came first. I was doing my duty with the intention of trying to bargain, rather than pursuing a change in my disposition. If this continued, not only would I be unable to attain salvation, but I would also be eliminated and punished by God. When I realized this from my ponderings, I felt incredibly guilty, so I knelt and prayed, “Dear God, You’ve graced me with this opportunity to do my duty, yet I’m always clinging to my desire for blessings. I’m so selfish and despicable! Oh God, I am willing to repent.”

Later, through God’s words, I came to understand God’s intentions and requirements more clearly. Almighty God says: “God’s wish is for every person to be made perfect, to be ultimately gained by Him, to be completely cleansed by Him, and to become people He loves. No matter whether I say you are backward or of poor caliber, this is all fact. My saying this does not prove that I intend to abandon you, that I have lost hope in you, much less that I am unwilling to save you. Today I have come to do the work of your salvation, which is to say that the work I do is a continuation of the work of salvation. Every person has the chance to be made perfect: Provided that you are willing, provided that you pursue, in the end you will be able to achieve this result, and not one of you will be abandoned. If you are of poor caliber, My requirements of you will be in accordance with your poor caliber; if you are of high caliber, My requirements of you will be in accordance with your high caliber; if you are ignorant and illiterate, My requirements of you will be in accordance with your illiteracy; if you are literate, My requirements of you will be in accordance with the fact that you are literate; if you are elderly, My requirements of you will be in accordance with your age; if you are capable of doing the duty of hosting, My requirements of you will be in accordance with this; if you say you cannot do the duty of hosting, and can only perform a certain function, whether it be preaching the gospel, or taking care of the church, or attending to other general affairs, My perfection of you will be in accordance with the function that you perform. Being loyal, submitting to the very end, and seeking to have supreme love for God—this is what you must accomplish, and there are no better practices than these three things. Ultimately, man is required to achieve these three things, and if he can achieve them, then he will be made perfect. But, above all, you must truly pursue, you must actively press onward and upward, and not be passive in that regard. I have said that every person has the chance to be made perfect and is capable of being made perfect, and this holds true, but you do not try to be better in your pursuit. If you do not achieve these three criteria, then in the end you must be eliminated” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Restoring the Normal Life of Man and Taking Him to a Wonderful Destination). From God’s words, I understood that God gives people different calibers, and His requirements for them are also different. Those who have good caliber have requirements applicable to them; so too do those with poor caliber. Regardless of whether your caliber is high or low, as long as you can offer your devotion, practice the truth, and satisfy God, you will have a chance to attain salvation. But I didn’t understand God’s painstaking intentions in saving humanity. I thought that with my poor caliber, I couldn’t be saved, and that only those with good caliber and who are quick on the uptake had any hope. My view was so distorted! Whether a person can attain salvation is based on whether they pursue the truth, whether their disposition changes, and whether they show devotion and submission in their duty. I thought about a district leader I knew who had some intelligence and caliber. The brothers and sisters all held her in high regard. But when she did her duty, she couldn’t cooperate harmoniously with others. She acted dictatorially, disrupting and disturbing the church’s work. When the brothers and sisters fellowshipped with her, she wouldn’t accept it and stubbornly refused to repent. In the end, she was expelled. On the other hand, another sister’s caliber was a bit poor, but she was quite earnest. When she encountered difficulties in her duty, she would pray to God and focus on seeking the truth to resolve her own corruption, and she was able to achieve some results in her duty. From these facts, I understood that even if someone has good caliber and is quick on the uptake, they cannot attain salvation if they don’t pursue the truth and their disposition doesn’t change. Even though my caliber is poor, I should still practice all the truth principles I’m able to comprehend and spare no effort in doing my duty. That way, even if one day I’m truly not up to it and am dismissed, I won’t have any regrets. I also realized that God’s intention is behind His not giving me good caliber and gifts. I have an arrogant disposition. I am clearly nothing, yet when I cooperated in my duties with brothers and sisters, I was still arrogant and self-righteous and couldn’t cooperate in harmony with them. Now, because of my poor caliber, I keep hitting setbacks in my duty, so I can no longer be arrogant. I’m able to just do my duty humbly. When there’s something I don’t know or don’t understand, I can seek, and I can accept the suggestions of my brothers and sisters. This also prevents me from causing disruptions and disturbances with my corrupt disposition. My poor caliber is protecting me!

After that, I prayed to God and spent more time pondering the principles and God’s words. After a while, I made some progress in my duty and achieved some results in it. One day, I was fellowshipping about my experiences with a sister, and she said, “You’ve really made some progress recently compared to before. Having poor caliber doesn’t matter. As long as we are willing to practice the truth and can gain the Holy Spirit’s work, God will make up for the shortcoming of having poor caliber.” I really agreed with this, and appreciated what God says: “Perhaps your ability to comprehend God’s word is poor, but through your practice of His word, He can remedy this flaw…” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Once You Understand the Truth, You Should Put It Into Practice). I understood that God doesn’t look at a person’s caliber, but at whether they can practice the truth after they understand it. When a person practices the truth, God enlightens and guides them based on their inherent caliber, enabling them to find a path in their duty. Thank God!