By Liu Yan, China

In May 2004, Wu and I were arrested on our way back from a gathering because we had been sold out by a Judas. At the police station, the police kept interrogating me, demanding to know who the church leaders were and where the offerings were. When I refused to talk, four or five officers surrounded me, pushing and beating me. One officer viciously beat my entire body with a bamboo rod over a meter long and as thick as a thumb, while he repeatedly ground his foot into my thighs. A policewoman slapped me hard across the face. They cuffed my hands behind my back and yanked them back. I could barely breathe from the torture—it was as if I were suffocating. Sweat streamed down my face, and they kept switching between beating and interrogating me. My whole body was in agony. I couldn’t even pull down my own pants to use the toilet; a policewoman had to yank them down for me. I saw large bruises on my thighs and the sides of my buttocks, the color of dark purple eggplants. It hurt so much I couldn’t even squat. That night, seeing I still wouldn’t talk, they made me sit on the icy cold floor and continued interrogating me in shifts. They wouldn’t let me move or sleep. My lower back and legs grew numb and swollen from the cold. My head was dizzy and throbbed with pain. Whenever I closed my eyes, an officer would yell at me. I felt like I couldn’t hold on anymore, like I was going to die. I thought, “If I don’t say something, they won’t let me go. I don’t know what kind of torture they’ll use next. Can I take it? If I’m tortured to death, wouldn’t my faith have been in vain? How can I be saved if I die?” So I made something up, hoping to fool them, but they didn’t believe me at all and kept on interrogating me.

Around five or six the next afternoon, officers from the Municipal Public Security Bureau and the National Security Brigade took Wu and me to a hotel to continue the interrogation. Blackout curtains hung on the windows, and armed police stood guard. Seeing this, a chill ran through me. I was terrified, not knowing how they would torture me next. I prayed to God constantly in my heart. The police separated me from Wu and interrogated us in shifts, 24 hours a day. They made me sit in a chair and didn’t allow me to move or sleep. If I closed my eyes, they would yell insults at me. I was dizzy and disoriented from the torment. Two days later, Wu sold me out. She told them I was responsible for transferring offerings. She also sold out several district leaders, host families, and custody families. Holding Wu’s confession, an officer said to me menacingly, “It’s no use if you don’t talk. She’s told us everything. Where did you transfer the offerings to? We’ll find that money even if we have to dig for it. We’ll sentence you anyway even if you don’t talk! The Church of Almighty God is a key crackdown target for the state. Believing in Almighty God disturbs the social order. It’s illegal. Even if we kill you, we won’t be in any trouble! We’re beating you like this, so why doesn’t your God come and save you? There is no God!” Then they tried to force me to say things that blasphemed God. When I refused, he slapped my face hard. He snarled viciously, “We have plenty of ways to deal with you! If you don’t talk, we’ll slash your face with a knife and disfigure you, then stuff you in a sack and throw you in the Huangpu River to feed the fish!” I thought, “These wicked police are capable of anything. If they really throw me in the river, no one would ever know I died. I don’t want to die right now. If I die, won’t my faith be in vain? How could I be saved then? Maybe I should just say something…. Besides, Wu has already talked. It doesn’t matter if I admit it or not.” The police then told me the addresses of the host families and custody families Wu had identified, along with the sisters’ descriptions and names. I tacitly acknowledged these. But the officer said, “She confessed everything and she’s going home straight away. You’ve only confirmed what she already told us. You haven’t given up a single person or home. If you don’t, we’ll still send you to prison. It’ll be your fault for your bad attitude and refusal to cooperate!” I thought if I just said a little more, maybe they’d let me go, or give me a lighter sentence. So, I gave them the address of another host sister. The moment I sold my sister out, I felt like I had been plunged into hell. I can’t describe the feeling. I was completely drained of strength. I collapsed to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. I tried to grab an electrical wire to kill myself, but an officer pinned my hand down with his foot. I was filled with remorse for selling my sister out, and in my heart, I cursed myself over and over, saying that I deserved to die and be destroyed. I thought of God’s words: “Toward those who showed Me not the slightest loyalty during times of tribulation, I shall be merciful no more, for My mercy only extends so far. I have no liking, furthermore, for anyone who has once betrayed Me, much less do I like to associate with those who sell out the interests of their friends. This is My disposition, regardless of who the person may be. I must tell you this: Anyone who thoroughly breaks My heart shall not receive clemency from Me a second time…” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Prepare Sufficient Good Deeds for Your Destination). God’s words terrified me. I felt that God’s righteous disposition cannot be offended. I had sold out my sister and betrayed God. I had offended God’s disposition, and God wouldn’t want me anymore. My life as a believer was completely over. In that moment, death felt better than life.

But the police still wouldn’t let me go. They kept interrogating me for information about the church. They forced me to sit in a chair, 24 hours a day, without letting me move or sleep. They tortured me with sleep deprivation for about a week. I was in so much torment I couldn’t eat. Seeing I was on the verge of collapse, the police took me to a hospital for an IV drip. When we returned, they continued to interrogate me in shifts and showed me photos of brothers and sisters, telling me to identify them. I told myself, “I’ve already offended God’s disposition and become a shameful Judas. I can’t betray God again.” So no matter how they interrogated me, I said nothing. A month later, they sentenced me to two years in a re-education through labor camp for “disturbing social order.” When the police were taking Wu and me to the re-education through labor camp, Wu told me that the host sister I had sold out had been arrested. She was released after her family pulled some strings, but she was under constant surveillance. Hearing this felt like a needle piercing my heart. I hated myself for being so afraid of death, and for selling out my sister and making it impossible for her to attend gatherings or do her duty. So many times, I cried and prayed to God, begging Him to set up another environment to give me just one more chance. I swore that even if the police tortured me to death, I would never sell out my brothers and sisters again. During my two years in the labor camp, whenever I remembered God’s words: “Much less do I like to associate with those who sell out the interests of their friends,” I felt I would never have another chance at salvation and would end up in hell, suffering punishment. The thought made me incredibly negative. The agony was worse than death. I even felt that dying would be a relief from the torment in my soul.

After two years in prison, I was released and returned home, but I was too ashamed to face my brothers and sisters. I hated myself for being a shameful Judas who had sold out a sister. I was in extreme mental agony, convinced that God would never save me and that I was destined to be cursed and punished. I became disheartened, lost all hope, and wanted to die so it would all be over. One day, I thought of God’s words: “1. If you are truly a service-doer, can you render service to Me devotedly, without any element of perfunctoriness or negativity? … 10. Are you able to be My faithful follower, willing to endure a lifetime of suffering for Me even if you gain nothing?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. A Very Serious Problem: Betrayal (2)). God’s words were like a ray of light that pierced the darkness in my heart, giving me the courage to live on. It was true. It was God’s grace that I could render service for Him in my faith. Even if God didn’t save me in the end, I should still render service for Him. Pondering His words, I regained a little faith. I longed for the day I could read God’s words, gather and do my duty with my brothers and sisters again. Sometimes, sisters would come to my mother’s house for gatherings, and I’d envy them for being able to read God’s words together. Thinking of how much I owed God, I wanted to do what I could for the church. When the sisters came to gather, I’d stand watch for them outside, keeping an eye on the surroundings. Sometimes I’d save up a little money to give as an offering. It was the only way my heart could find some ease.

In the spring of 2011, a sister found me and asked, “Are you willing to attend gatherings?” At that moment, I was so moved that tears welled up in my eyes. I knew this was God’s mercy, and He was giving me another chance. Later, the church arranged for me to water newcomers. I never missed a day, rain or shine. I just wanted to render service earnestly to make up for my transgression. Whenever I read God’s words of exhortation, comfort, or encouragement, I felt God was like a loving mother who understands our weaknesses and has mercy on our immaturity, saving us to the greatest extent possible, and tears would stream down my face. But the moment I remembered I had turned Judas and betrayed God, I felt those words weren’t for me. God wouldn’t save someone like me. I wasn’t qualified to receive His promises or His salvation. Whenever I thought of this, I would sink into despondency and distress.

In 2016, I began doing text-based duty. One time, I read an experiential testimony written by a brother. He had been brutally tortured by the police but would rather die than turn Judas. I felt so ashamed. We had both been arrested, but he had stood firm in his testimony, while I had betrayed God and committed a transgression. If I hadn’t cherished my flesh back then, wouldn’t I have stood firm in my witness just like him? Wouldn’t I have been spared all these years of inner torment? During gatherings, when I heard sisters fellowship about knowing their own corruption in a certain aspect, I would think, “They’re just revealing some corrupt dispositions. I’m different. I sold out my brothers and sisters. I turned Judas. I’ve committed a serious transgression, and it can never be erased. God will not save me.” After that, whenever I saw materials about clearing out Judases, I would feel despondent and distressed, afraid that I too would be cleared out one day. In the winter of 2022, two people I had once worked with, Liu Jing and Chen Hong, were arrested. They sold out their brothers and sisters and host families before the police had even started to torture them. Chen Hong even sold out the offerings. Afterward, they showed no remorse whatsoever and were successively cleared out of the church. Thinking that I, like them, had also turned Judas and might be cleared out someday, I became very despondent.

Although I had been doing my duty all these years, my heart was constantly in distress and despondency over my transgression and could find no release. I never sought the truth to resolve my negative state, feeling it was enough for someone like me to just render service earnestly. This continued until I read God’s words during my spiritual devotions: “There is also another root cause for people sinking into despondency, which is that some particular things happen to people before they’ve come of age or after they’ve grown into adults, that is, they commit some transgressions or do some idiotic things, foolish things, and ignorant things. They sink into despondency because of these transgressions, because of these idiotic and ignorant things they’ve done. This kind of despondency is a condemnation of oneself, and it is also a kind of characterization of the kind of person they are. … people who have done these things often feel uneasy inadvertently, when some particular thing happens, or in some certain environments and contexts. This feeling of unease makes them fall unknowingly into deep despondency, and they become bound up and restricted by their despondency. Whenever they listen to a sermon or a fellowship on the truth, this despondency slowly creeps into their mind and into their innermost heart, and they give themselves a grilling, asking, ‘Can I do this? Am I able to pursue the truth? Am I able to attain salvation? What kind of person am I? I did that thing before, I used to be that kind of person. Am I beyond saving? Will God still save me?’ Some people can sometimes let go of their despondency and leave it behind. They apply their sincerity and all the energy they can muster to fulfilling their duties, their obligations, and their responsibilities, and even put all their heart and mind into pursuing the truth and contemplating God’s words, and into working hard to understand God’s words. The moment some particular situation or circumstance comes along, however, despondency takes hold of them once again and makes them feel accused again deep in their hearts. They think to themselves, ‘You did that thing before, and you were that kind of person. Can you attain salvation? Is there any point in practicing the truth? What does God think of what you’ve done? Will God forgive you for what you’ve done? Can paying the price in this way now make up for that transgression?’ They often reproach themselves and feel accused deep inside, and they often doubt themselves and grill themselves with questions. They can never cast off this despondency, and in their hearts, they feel a perpetual sense of unease about the shameful thing they’ve done. So, they’ve believed in God for so many years and don’t seem to have heard anything God has said, nor do they seem to have understood any of it. It’s as if they don’t know whether attaining salvation has anything to do with them, whether they can be absolved and redeemed, or whether they are qualified to receive God’s judgment and chastisement and His salvation. They have no idea of all these things. Because they don’t receive any answers, and because they don’t get any accurate verdict, they feel constantly despondent deep inside. In their innermost hearts, they recall what they did over and over again, they replay it in their minds over and over again, recalling how it all began and how it ended, recalling what came before and what came after. Regardless of how they recall it, they always feel sinful, and so they constantly feel despondent about this matter over the years. Even when they’re doing their duties, even when they serve as a supervisor for a certain item of work, they still feel like they have no hope of being saved” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (2)). What God’s words exposed was exactly my state. Ever since I had been arrested and sold my sister out, committing that transgression, I had been living in emotions of despondency. I felt I had offended God’s disposition, that He surely loathed me, and that no matter how I pursued, He would never save me. When I saw God’s words of encouragement and exhortation, I felt they weren’t for me, but for those brothers and sisters who had never committed a transgression. Every time I saw materials about clearing out Judases, my heart felt anxious and uneasy. I felt that since I had turned Judas just like them, maybe I would be cleared out one day, too. Although I was doing my duty in the church, my heart was always closed to God, and I couldn’t muster any energy to pursue the truth. I was content with just rendering service earnestly. Even though I had committed the transgression of selling a sister out, God still had mercy on me and gave me a chance to do my duty. In my moments of deepest pain and weakness, God used His words to lead me out of my negativity and help me find a path of practice. God has always been providing me with the truth and life, but I didn’t know what was good for me. I didn’t earnestly pursue the truth to repay God’s love. Instead, I misunderstood God and was guarded against Him, living in emotions of despondency. I truly had no conscience or reason. I owed God too much and was unworthy of His salvation! From God’s words, I understood that God didn’t want me to live in emotions of despondency because of my transgression. He wanted me to be free from its constraints and to earnestly pursue the truth, embarking on the path of salvation. I knew I had to eat and drink more of God’s words and seek the truth to resolve my corrupt disposition; I couldn’t carry on living amid the constraints of my transgression and retreat in negativity.

Later, I reflected, “Why did I live in despondency when I felt I had no hope of being saved? What corrupt disposition is controlling me?” I read God’s words: “What people pursue in their belief in God is to obtain blessings for the future; this is their goal in their belief. All people have this intent and hope, but the corruption in their nature must be resolved through trials and refinement. In whichever aspects people are not purified and still reveal corruption, these are the aspects in which they must be refined—this is God’s arrangement. God sets up environments for you, compelling you to undergo refinement in them so that you can know your own corruption. Ultimately, you reach a point at which you would be willing to give up your designs and desires and submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangement even if it meant death. Therefore, if people do not undergo several years of refinement, if they do not endure a certain amount of suffering, they will not be able to free themselves from the constraints of the flesh’s corruption in their thoughts and hearts. In whichever aspects people are still subject to the constraints of their satanic nature, and in whichever aspects they still have their own desires and their own demands, these are the aspects in which they should suffer. Only through suffering can people learn lessons, which means they are able to gain the truth and understand God’s intentions. In fact, many truths are understood by experiencing suffering and trials. Nobody can understand God’s intentions, come to know God’s almightiness and wisdom, or appreciate God’s righteous disposition when in a comfortable and easy environment or when circumstances are favorable. That would be impossible!” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). It turned out I had been living in despondency because my desire for blessings had been crushed. From the very beginning, I believed in God for the sake of being blessed. That’s why I was active in gatherings and enthusiastic in my duty. I wasn’t even constrained when my nonbelieving husband obstructed, cursed, and beat me. Not long after I came to believe in God, I left home to do my duty. I forsook everything in order to be saved, survive, and obtain the beautiful destination. God has prepared for man. Once I had been arrested and turned Judas, I believed God would no longer save me. Seeing my hope for blessings crushed, I lived in a constant state of negativity and was no longer willing to pursue the truth. I saw that my intention in believing in God was wrong. It wasn’t to pursue the truth, but to obtain blessings. I was no different from those in the Age of Grace who sought to eat their fill of loaves. In my belief in God, all I thought about was how to get blessings and benefits from Him. I never thought about how to pursue the truth to resolve my transgression, or how to repay God for His love and salvation. I was so devoid of humanity! Through experiencing this revelation, I finally recognized the attempted bargains and impurities in my faith. These are truly nauseating and loathsome to God!

Later, I read two more passages of God’s words, understood how to treat transgressions, and found a path to resolve them. Almighty God says: “Some people, when they’ve transgressed a bit, conjecture: ‘Has God revealed and eliminated me? Will He strike me down?’ God has come to work this time not in order to strike people down, but to save them, to the greatest possible extent. No one is without transgressions—if everyone were struck down, would that be salvation? Some transgressions are done on purpose, while others are involuntary. If you are able to change after you gain some knowledge of the things you do involuntarily, would God strike you down before you do so? Would God save people that way? That’s not how He works! Regardless of whether you have a rebellious disposition or whether you have acted involuntarily, remember this: You should reflect and know yourself. Turn yourself around, right away, and strive for the truth with all your strength—and, no matter what circumstances come about, do not give yourself over to despair. The work God is doing is that of man’s salvation, and He will not arbitrarily strike down the people He wants to save. This is certain. Even if there really were believers in God whom He struck down in the end, that which God does would still be guaranteed to be righteous. In time, He would let you know the reason He struck them down, so that you would be utterly convinced. Right now, just strive for the truth, focus on life entry, and seek to fulfill your duty. That’s the right thing to do! No matter how God handles you in the end, it is guaranteed to be righteous; you should not doubt this, and you do not need to worry. Even if you cannot understand God’s righteousness at the moment, there will come a day when you will be convinced. God works justly and honorably; He openly reveals everything. If you mull this over carefully, you will come to the heartfelt conclusion that God’s work is that of saving people and transforming their corrupt dispositions” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). “And how can you be absolved and forgiven by God? This depends on your heart. If you sincerely confess, truly recognize your mistake and your problem, recognize what you’ve done—whether it be a transgression or a sin—adopt an attitude of true confession, feel true hatred for what you’ve done, and really turn yourself around, and you never do that wrong thing again, then there will eventually come a day when you will receive God’s absolution and forgiveness, that is, God will no longer determine your outcome based on the ignorant, stupid, and dirty things you have done before. When you reach this level, God will not remember the matter at all; you will be just the same as other normal people, without the slightest difference. However, the premise to this is that you must be sincere and have a true attitude of repentance, like David. How many tears did David weep for the transgression he’d committed? Countless tears. How many times did he weep? Countless times. The tears he wept can be described with these words: ‘Every night make I my bed to swim.’ I don’t know how serious your transgression is. If it is really serious, you may need to weep until your bed floats on the water of your tears—you may have to confess and repent to that level before you can receive God’s forgiveness. If you don’t do this, then I’m afraid your transgression will become a sin in God’s eyes, and you will not be absolved of it. Then you’d be in trouble and there would be no point in saying anything more about this. … If you wish to receive God’s absolution, then you must first be sincere: You must have an attitude of earnest confession on the one hand, and you must also bring your sincerity and do your duty well, otherwise there’s nothing to talk about. If you can do these two things, if you can move God with your sincerity and good faith, so that He absolves you of your sins, then you will be just like other people. God will look upon you in the same way as He looks upon other people, He will treat you in the same way as He treats other people, and He will judge and chastise, try and refine you just as He does other people—you will be treated no differently. In this way you will not only have the resolve and desire to pursue the truth, but God will also enlighten you, guide you, and provide for you in the same way in your pursuit of the truth. Of course, because you now have a sincere and genuine desire and an earnest attitude, God will treat you no differently than anyone else and, just like other people, you will have the chance to attain salvation. You understand this, right? (Yes.)” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (2)). From God’s words, I saw that He acts according to principles. He doesn’t just condemn people irreversibly for a single transgression without giving them a chance to repent. God looks to see if we can truly repent after we’ve transgressed and never transgress again. I thought of David, who used his power to take Uriah’s wife. When he realized he had sinned and incurred God’s loathing, he genuinely repented to God and never committed that sin again. In his old age, he wouldn’t even touch the young woman who was brought to warm his bed. His repentance wasn’t just words; he proved it with real actions, and so he received God’s mercy and tolerance. Then I thought of Liu Jing and Chen Hong, who turned Judas without even being tortured. Chen Hong even gave up the location of over a million yuan in offerings. Afterward, neither of them showed any remorse at all. Clearing them out of the church perfectly revealed God’s righteousness. The church accepted me back because I had sold out my sister in a moment of weakness, unable to withstand the torture. Afterward, I was filled with remorse and self-reproach, and I did my duty to the best of my ability, so God’s house gave me another chance. God’s disposition is righteous and good, and He treats everyone according to principles. I read God’s words: “No one is without transgressions—if everyone were struck down, would that be salvation?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). These words in particular made me feel that God is like a loving mother, using His words to teach a child who made a mistake, reminding and exhorting them not to give up on themselves. Between the lines of God’s words, I felt His painstaking intentions, and His tolerance and mercy for mankind. I knew I had to truly repent. I could no longer be bound by my transgression, passing a verdict on myself and giving up on myself because of it. I had to do my duty with all my heart, seek the truth more when things come upon me, focus on acting according to principles, and use real actions to make up for my transgression.

Later, I reflected and realized that the root cause of my failure was that I cherished my life and feared death. So how could I resolve this problem? One day, I read a passage of God’s words and I understood how to face death. Almighty God says: “How did those disciples of the Lord Jesus die? Among the disciples, there were those who were stoned, dragged behind a horse, crucified upside down, dismembered by five horses—various forms of death befell them. What was the reason for their deaths? Is it that they engaged in some wrongdoing and were then executed by the law? No. They propagated the Lord’s gospel, but the people of the world did not accept it, and instead condemned, beat, and reviled them, and even put them to death—that is how they were martyred. Let us not speak of the final outcome of those martyrs, or of God’s verdict on their deeds, but ask this: When those martyrs arrived at the end, did the ways their lives ended accord with human notions? (No, they did not.) From the perspective of human notions, those martyrs paid such a great price to propagate the work of God, but were ultimately grievously harmed to death by Satan. This does not accord with human notions. However, those things are precisely what befell them—this is what God allowed. What truth can be sought in this? Was God allowing them to die this way His curse and condemnation, or was it His arrangement and blessing? It was neither. What was it? It brings people heartache to think about the deaths of those martyrs, yet these are indeed the facts. What explanation should be given for believers in God dying in this way? When we mention this topic, you put yourselves in their position, so in your hearts do you feel upset and a bit of hidden pain? You think, ‘These people did their duty to propagate God’s gospel and should be considered good people, so how could they come to such an end and such an outcome?’ Actually, this was how their bodies died and passed away; this was their manner of departure from the human world, yet that did not mean their outcome was the same. No matter what the manner of their death and departure was or how it happened, it was not how God determined the final outcomes of those lives, of those created beings. This is something you must see clearly. On the contrary, this was precisely the manner by which they condemned this world and bore witness to God’s deeds. These created beings used their most precious lives—they used the last moment of their lives to bear witness to God’s deeds, to bear witness to God’s great power, and to declare to Satan and the world that God’s deeds are right, that the Lord Jesus is God, that He is the Lord, and God’s incarnate flesh. Even down to the final moment of their lives, they never denied the name of the Lord Jesus. Was this not a form of judgment upon this world? They used their lives to proclaim to the world, to prove to human beings that the Lord Jesus is the Lord, that the Lord Jesus is Christ, that He is God’s incarnate flesh, that the work of redeeming all of mankind He did allows this mankind to live on—this fact is forever unchanging. To what extent did those who were martyred for propagating the gospel of the Lord Jesus perform their duty? Was it to the ultimate extent? How was the ultimate extent manifested? (They offered their lives.) That’s right, they paid the price with their lives. … No matter how one dies, they should not die before Satan, and not die in Satan’s hands. If one is going to die, they should die in God’s hands. People came from God, and to God they return—such is the reason and attitude that a created being should possess” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Preaching the Gospel Is the Duty All Believers Are Bound to Fulfill). The disciples who followed the Lord Jesus were condemned and persecuted by the world for propagating His gospel, and were even martyred. Although their flesh died, they bore a strong and resounding testimony before Satan. What they did was approved of by God, and their souls returned to Him. I couldn’t see this clearly. I was afraid of being tortured to death, so to preserve myself, I sold out my sister and betrayed God. My flesh was spared from suffering, but the reproaches of my conscience and the torment in my soul were like a thorn in my heart. It felt worse than death! This spiritual pain is something no material thing can ever make up for. Realizing the root of my failure, I was willing to equip myself more with the truth in this area. I also made a secret resolve that if I were ever arrested again, I would not sell out my brothers and sisters or the interests of God’s house, even if I were beaten to death. I would stand firm in my testimony by relying on God’s words!

All these years, I had been living in emotions of despondency, unable to find release. It was God’s words that untied the knot in my heart, allowing me to let go of my misunderstandings and face my transgression correctly, and bringing my spirit liberation and freedom. I prayed in my heart, “God, I don’t want to rebel against You anymore. Regardless of whether I have a good outcome and destination in the future, I no longer want to do my duty for the sake of blessings. I am willing to stand in the place of a created being and do my duty earnestly. No matter how You treat me in the future, and even if You punish and curse me, that is Your righteousness.” After praying, my heart felt incredibly at ease. Through this experience, I truly came to appreciate that no matter how severe God’s words of chastisement and judgment are, and no matter if they are curses or condemnations, God’s intention is always to save people!