Reflections After Choosing the Wrong Leader
Last October, when I and my co-workers were investigating the work of several churches, we found that gospel, watering, and other work of the Chengnan Church was paralyzed. I was quite surprised. I thought, “Sister Li was transferred here to be the church leader two months ago. Why hasn’t the work improved?” So, my partner, Sister Xu, went there to learn about the work and resolve problems. A few days later, Sister Xu wrote, “Sister Li has been pursuing fame and status for more than two months. She seeks quick success in her duty. When she sees that work is ineffective, instead of fellowshiping on the truth to resolve problems and help others, she indiscriminately deals with and scolds them, saying they have low caliber and are irresponsible in their duties. She doesn’t oversee or supervise any of the church work in practice, meaning many areas of church work have come to a standstill.” After reading the letter, I was shocked, and I thought, “When Sister Li led other churches, she pursued image and status. She spent her time wondering how others saw her. She became negative when others didn’t admire her and became distracted from her duty, meaning many problems in the churches remained unsolved. We had fellowshiped and tried to help her with this problem many times, and also exposed her for walking the antichrist’s path of pursuing fame and status. She admitted it at the time and expressed a willingness to repent, and later, she could do her work with some plans and goals. Why did the problem recur after she was transferred to the Chengnan Church?” At this point, I remembered Sister Li was dismissed from a leadership position twice before, both times for pursuing fame and status and not doing practical work. Although she had some knowledge of herself and expressed her willingness to repent, now, she still stubbornly pursued these things. She hadn’t repented and changed at all. I thought of what it says in “The Principles of Identifying False Leaders and Workers”: “All who work only for status, reputation, and gain, do not pursue the truth or possess the reality of the truth, are false leaders and workers.” (170 Principles of Practicing the Truth). Given Sister Li’s consistent behavior, she was likely a false leader who only pursued fame and status and did no practical work.
But I had recommended Sister Li as a leader this time. At the time, she expressed some understanding of her pursuit of fame and status and not doing practical work, so I thought she could accept the truth, and had genuine repentance. In addition, she was a skilled speaker and showed some competence at work, so I recommended her. Now, if she really was dismissed for being a false leader, everyone would say that I chose people without principles and that despite being a leader for many years, I couldn’t discern the difference between genuine self-knowledge and hypocritical knowledge. My co-workers would also think I had no realities of truth and couldn’t discern people since I had recommended someone who didn’t pursue the truth as a leader, so wouldn’t I lose my good image in the hearts of my brothers and sisters? When I thought of this, I didn’t want to face the facts. I hoped Sister Xu could help Sister Li more and turn her state around. That way, she wouldn’t be dismissed, and my status and image would also be preserved. So, I discussed this with my co-workers to suggest Sister Xu to help Sister Li more. If Sister Li could change her state, she could still do some real work, and my co-workers agreed to this. After that, I anxiously awaited Sister Xu’s reply every day, wondering if Sister Li’s state had changed. I was very nervous and worried. I feared that if she was dismissed for not changing her state, it would damage my image. A few days later, Sister Xu wrote back, “Sister Li has been at Chengnan Church for two months. She only urges the progress of tasks, and doesn’t fellowship on the truth to solve problems. She does no practical work at all. As a result, the problems of the brothers and sisters remain unresolved.” She said she fellowshiped and helped Sister Li with her problem many times, but Sister Li was still concerned with image, status, and how others saw her. She had no attitude of repentance at all. After reading the letter, I felt panic. Given Sister Li’s behavior, she was a false leader who only pursued fame and status without doing practical work, and she had to be replaced. But when I was about to talk to my co-workers, I swallowed the words. I thought, “I chose Sister Li. At the time, I told my co-workers that although Sister Li had been dismissed in the past, she had some knowledge of herself, and she was someone who pursued the truth. Only then did my co-workers agree to choose Sister Li. If now I tell them she is a false leader, not someone who pursues the truth, and needs to be dismissed, won’t I just be making myself look bad? Besides, since I lack discernment and choose someone who doesn’t pursue the truth as a leader, causing serious harm to the work of the church, won’t my co-workers think I’m also a false leader who can’t do actual work? If they dismiss me, that will be incredibly embarrassing. I’ve believed in God for years, and in the end I become a false leader and will be dismissed.” That thought made me miserable, so I didn’t want to suggest dismissing Sister Li. But if I didn’t say it, I would feel guilty. If a false leader reigns for one day, the work of God’s house is harmed, and I wasn’t defending the interests of God’s house. I kept fighting with myself over whether I should speak. In torment, I prayed to God, “God, I lack discernment. Recommending Sister Li as a leader brought such great harm to the work of God’s house. Now, I know Sister Li is a false leader, but I want to maintain my image and status, so I don’t want to say it. God, please guide me in practicing the truth and safeguarding the work of God’s house.” During my devotionals the next day, I read this passage of God’s word. “As leaders and workers, when problems occur as you perform your duty, you are liable to ignore them, and may even look for various pretexts and excuses to avoid responsibility. There are some problems that you are capable of solving, but don’t, and the problems you are incapable of solving you do not report to your superiors, as if they have nothing to do with you. Is this not a dereliction of your duty? Is treating the work of the church thus a clever thing to do, or a foolish thing to do? (Foolish.) Are such leaders and workers not snakes? Are they not devoid of any sense of responsibility? When they ignore problems in front of them, does this not show they are heartless and treacherous? Treacherous people are the most foolish people of all. You must be an honest person, you must have a sense of responsibility when you face problems, and you must find ways to seek the truth to resolve problems. Do not be a treacherous person. If you shirk responsibility and wash your hands of it when problems arise, even unbelievers will condemn you. Do you imagine God’s house will not? God’s chosen people despise and reject such behavior. God loves honest people, but hates deceitful and cunning people. If you act as a treacherous person and attempt to play tricks, will God not hate you? Will God’s house simply let you off the hook? Sooner or later, you will be held accountable. God likes honest people and dislikes treacherous people. Everyone should understand this clearly, and stop being confused and doing foolish things. Momentary ignorance is understandable, but refusing to accept the truth at all is a stubborn refusal to change. Honest people can take responsibility. They do not consider their own gains and losses, but rather safeguard the work and interests of God’s house. They have kind and honest hearts that are like a bowl of clear water that one can see the bottom of at a glance. There is also transparency in their actions. A deceitful person always plays tricks, always disguises things, covers up, and wraps themselves in packaging so tightly that no one can see through them. People can’t see through your inner thoughts, but God can see the deepest things in your heart. If God sees that you are not an honest person, that you are cunning, that you never accept the truth, that you are always trying to deceive Him, and that you do not hand your heart over to Him, then God will not love you, He will hate and abandon you” (Identifying False Leaders). After reading God’s words, I understood. God likes those who are simple and honest and who have the courage to admit mistakes and correct them. If you make mistakes in your duty, try to protect yourself, don’t dare to admit it, and find excuses to shirk and cover up, then you are a cunning person, someone God loathes and hates. I realized I was just such a cunning villain. I lacked discernment, so I chose someone who didn’t pursue the truth as a leader, causing massive harm to the work of God’s house. This was already a transgression, and I should have made amends, but to maintain my image in the hearts of my brothers and sisters, all the while knowing that each day a false leader reigns, the church’s work suffers, I didn’t dismiss the false leader to safeguard the interests of the family of God. I made mistake after mistake, and deliberately wanted to cover them up. I felt very guilty. God has provided us with so much truth, and God’s house cultivated me for so many years, but to protect myself and avoid responsibility, I watched a false leader disrupt the work of God’s house. I was too selfish, despicable, and deceitful to be called a human being. With this in mind, I hurriedly went to meet with my co-workers, and I told them, “Sister Li only cares about the pursuit of fame and status, and does no practical work. She is seriously affecting work, she is a false leader, and must be dismissed right away.” After fellowship, the co-workers also confirmed that Sister Li was a false leader, and soon, she was replaced.
Afterwards, I opened up to my co-workers about what I exposed and learned this time. They didn’t blame me for picking the wrong person, and we summed up our deviations and mistakes in selecting people. Through this fellowship, I saw I had chosen the wrong person this time primarily because I couldn’t discern genuine self-understanding, as well as people who genuinely pursue and love the truth. Later, I read parts of God’s word dealing with this that helped me understand more. God’s words say, “How can one distinguish whether a person loves the truth? On one hand, one must look at whether this person can come to know themselves based on God’s word. If they can know themselves through God’s word, they are a person who loves the truth. On other hand, one must look at whether they can accept and practice the truth. If they can practice the truth, they are someone who can obey God’s work. If they only recognize the truth, but never accept or practice it, as some people say, ‘I understand all of the truth, but I can’t practice it,’ this proves they are not someone who loves the truth. Some people admit that God’s word is the truth and that they have corrupt dispositions, and also say that they are willing to repent and remake themselves anew, but after that, there is no change at all. Their words and actions are still the same as before. When they talk about knowing themselves, it’s as if they are telling a joke or shouting a slogan. They are not exposing their deceit from the depths of their heart with an attitude of hatred and disgust, or with an attitude of repentance and knowledge. Instead, they are engaging in formalities and pretending to open up. This is not a person who genuinely accepts the truth. When such people talk about knowing themselves, they are going through the motions and pretending to be spiritual. They think, ‘Everyone else opens up and analyzes their own deceit. If I don’t say anything, I’ll embarrass myself, so I’d better go through the motions.’ After which, they describe their own deceit as gravely serious, illustrating it in dramatic fashion, and their self-knowledge seems especially profound. Everyone who hears feels they truly know themselves, and thereupon look upon them with envy, which in turn makes them feel as if they are glorious, as if they’ve just adorned themselves with a halo. This manner of self-knowledge achieved by going through the motions, coupled with their disguise and deceit, utterly misleads others. Can their conscience be at ease when they do this? Isn’t this just blatant deceit? … When they do this, they do not feel guilty, their conscience is not uneasy after they disguise themselves and deceive, they feel nothing after rebelling against and deceiving God, and they do not pray to God to admit their mistake. Aren’t people like this hard-hearted? If they don’t feel guilty, can they ever feel remorse? Can someone who feels no remorse ever repent? Can a person with an unrepentant heart betray the interests of the flesh to practice the truth? No. Without even the desire to repent, isn’t it absurd to talk about self-knowledge? Isn’t this just disguise and deceit?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only When You Know Yourself Can You Pursue the Truth). “How can you discern whether someone pursues the truth? How can you evaluate whether someone is a person who pursues the truth? Suppose there is a person who has believed in God for seven or eight years. They may be able to speak many words of doctrines, their mouths may be full of spiritual vocabulary, they may often help others, they may seem to be very enthusiastic, they may be able to forsake things, and they may perform their duties with great vigor. Yet they are not able to practice much truth, not discuss real experiences of life entry, and much less have a change in life disposition. It can be said with certainty that someone like this does not pursue the truth. If someone genuinely loves the truth, after a period of time experiencing things, they will be able to talk about their understanding, at least be able to act according to principles in some things; they will have some experience of life entry, and at the very least they will show some changes in behavior. Those who pursue the truth have a constantly improving spiritual state, their faith in God gradually increases, they have some understanding of what they expose and their corrupt dispositions, and they have personal experience of and genuine insight into how God works to save people. These things all become gradually elevated in them. If you see these manifestations in a person, you can know with certainty that this is someone who pursues the truth” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Reality of the Truth?).
From God’s word, I learned that to evaluate whether a person truly pursues the truth, we can’t simply look at what they say. What matters is whether they can accept and practice the truth, and whether they can achieve genuine repentance and change after a period of time. When people who pursue the truth experience failures and setbacks, they can accept the judgment of God’s word, reflect on themselves through it, analyze and expose their motives for doing things, develop genuine hatred for their own corrupt dispositions in their hearts, and feel real remorse for their transgressions, so that when it happens again, they can forsake themselves and practice the truth. As time passes, they grow in life and see some change in their corrupt dispositions. If I compared this to Sister Li’s behavior, she outwardly appeared to be honest. When dealt with, reminded, and replaced, she nodded her head and admitted it, saying she pursued status, didn’t protect the work of God’s house, lacked humanity, and she hoped to gain entry. But later, as long as her reputation and status were involved, she didn’t forsake herself and practice the truth, and even scolded her brothers and sisters, which harmed the work of God’s house. She never reflected on herself and remained passive. I saw that she had no concept of her own corrupt nature or the source of her failure, and she also had no genuine repentance. The understanding she talked about were words she copied, an illusion to confuse. If someone genuinely pursues the truth and has humanity, when they see that they have brought about great harm to church work, they will feel guilty, hate themselves, and no longer consider their personal interests. They will think about how to make up for their transgressions, do practical work, and prevent more harm to the work of God’s house. I didn’t see any of this behavior in Sister Li. This fact showed that she wasn’t someone who accepts and pursues the truth at all. In choosing her, I hadn’t evaluated her according to the principle of truth. I had used my own ideas and notions. I merely looked at her outward good deeds and her doctrinal understanding and assumed she had achieved some change. The result was that I chose and used the wrong person, which harmed the work of the church and the lives of my brothers and sisters. These were the consequences of my failing to seek the principles of truth.
Later, I reflected on myself. I discerned clearly that she was a false leader, and I realized I had chosen the wrong person, so why did I still want to cover things up and give her a chance? Later, I read a passage of God’s words and gained some understanding of this. “No matter how many wrong things an antichrist does, no matter what kind of wrong things they do, be it embezzling, squandering, or misusing God’s offerings, disrupting and disturbing the work of God’s house, or messing up the work of the church and provoking God’s wrath, they always remain calm, collected, and unconcerned. No matter what kind of evil an antichrist does or what consequences it brings about, they never come before God to confess their sins and repent as soon as possible, and they never come before the brothers and sisters with an attitude of baring themselves and opening up to admit their wrongdoings, come to know their transgressions, recognize their own corruption, and regret their evil deeds. Instead, they rack their brains to find various excuses to shirk responsibility and shift the blame onto others to restore their own face and status. What they care about is not the work of the church, but whether their reputation and status are damaged or impacted. They do not consider or think of ways to make up for the losses caused to God’s house due to their transgressions, nor do they try to make up for their debt to God. That is to say, they never admit that they are capable of doing something wrong or that they have made a mistake. In the hearts of antichrists, proactively admitting mistakes and providing an honest account of the facts is foolishness and incompetence. If their evil deeds are discovered and exposed, antichrists will only admit to a momentary careless mistake, never their own dereliction of duty and irresponsibility, and they will attempt to pin the responsibility on someone else to remove the stain from their record. At times like these, antichrists are not concerned with how to repair the damage caused to God’s house, how to open up to God’s chosen people to admit their mistakes, or how to give an account of what happened. They are concerned with finding ways to make major problems seem like small ones and small problems seem unproblematic. They give objective reasons to make others understand and sympathize with them. They try their utmost to restore their reputations in other people’s eyes, minimize the negative influence of their transgressions on themselves, and ensure that the Above never has a bad impression of them, so that they are never held accountable, dismissed, or charged by the Above. To restore their reputation and status, so that their own interests are not harmed, antichrists are willing to endure any amount of suffering, and they will try their best to solve any difficulty. From the very start of their transgression or mistake, antichrists never have any intention of bearing any responsibility for the wrong things they do, they never have any intention to recognize, fellowship about, expose, or analyze the motives, intents, and corrupt dispositions behind the wrong things they do, and they certainly never have any intention to make up for the damage they cause to the work of the church and the harm they cause to the life entry of God’s chosen people. Therefore, no matter what perspective you view the matter from, antichrists are people who never admit their wrongdoings and never repent. Antichrists are shameless and thick-skinned beyond all hope of redemption, and they are no less than living Satans” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. They Do Not Accept Dealing and Pruning, nor Do They Have an Attitude of Repentance When They Commit Any Wrong, but Instead Spread Notions and Publicly Pass Judgment on God). God’s word revealed that antichrists never admit when they make mistakes, nor do they confess to God and repent. Instead, they think of how to maintain and restore their image in others’ hearts and how to solidify their position. I saw that my own behavior was the same as an antichrist. In a task as important as selecting people, I didn’t seek the truth, and I chose a false leader, thereby harming the work of God’s house and the life entry of my brothers and sisters. I had transgressed, and I should have repented to God, dismissed Sister Li, and quickly chosen the right person to make up for my mistakes and shortcomings. But I worried that if I truthfully told my co-workers about Sister Li’s problems, they would see clearly that I had no truth, low caliber, and couldn’t do practical work, and then would dismiss me. To maintain my image and status, I concealed myself, didn’t dare admit my failures and shortcomings, and covered my mistakes with more mistakes in the hope that my partner could help Sister Li change her state. That way, she wouldn’t be dismissed, and my status and image would be preserved. To satisfy my personal interests, I had no regard for the interests of God’s house, and I indulged and covered up for a false leader. In essence, I acted as Satan’s accomplice to disrupt and ruin the work of God’s house. This seriously offended God’s disposition! As I thought of this, I felt guilt and regret. It was God’s exceptional exaltation that I had such an important duty in God’s house, but I didn’t repay God’s grace. I considered my own interests at a crucial moment and ignored those of God’s house. Wasn’t this a manifestation of a false leader and an antichrist? I thought of how antichrists do things only for their personal interests and status, and have no regard for the interests of God’s house. I was walking the path of the antichrist. If I didn’t repent, I would definitely be revealed and eliminated, just like antichrists.
Later, I reflected, I gave this false leader chance after chance because I held another mistaken view, which was that if I fellowshiped with her enough, eventually she would change. Later, I read a passage of God’s words, and gained some discernment of this misconception. God’s words say, “To a false leader, when there is misconduct, no matter who does it, once the false leader perfunctorily deals with the perpetrator and offers some reminders and exhortation, they believe their work is done and that they have solved the problem, but this is purely Satan’s logic. False leaders obviously fail to promptly clear out nonbelievers, evildoers, and antichrists, but they protest, ‘I fellowshiped on God’s word with them, they all recognized what they did and felt remorse, and they all cried and said they would definitely repent and no longer attempt to establish their own kingdom.’ Isn’t this like a child playing house? Aren’t they just deceiving themselves? These nonbelievers, evildoers, and antichrists are all people who are sick of the truth. None of them accept the truth at all, and they are not the targets of God’s salvation, but false leaders treat these nonbelievers, evildoers, and antichrists that God hates and despises as God’s chosen people, and try to lovingly help them. What is the essence of the problem here? Is it foolishness and ignorance that stops them from seeing these people clearly, or are they trying to please them out of fear of offending them? No matter what the reason, what matters most is that false leaders do not do practical work, they do not accept the truth when pruned and dealt with, and they do not admit their mistakes. This is enough to show that false leaders possess no reality of the truth at all. They do not work according to the work arrangements of God’s house, and especially where the work of clearing people out of the church is concerned, they attempt to muddle through. They only go through the motions of clearing out a few obvious evildoers. When exposed and dealt with, they even find various excuses to shirk responsibility and argue for themselves. Therefore, a false leader who does no practical work is a stumbling block that hinders God’s will from being carried out. The things false leaders do are meaningless and worthless. They never solve the various problems that arise in the church, they simply avoid them, which not only delays the normal progress of the work of God’s house, but also affects the life entry of God’s chosen people. In no uncertain terms, false leaders disrupt and disturb the work of God’s house and act as protective umbrellas for nonbelievers, evildoers, and antichrists. At the critical moment of spiritual warfare, they stand on Satan’s side to resist and deceive God. Is this not a manifestation of betrayal of God? From the views of false leaders, it is clear that they are not people who pursue the truth. They do not understand the truth at all, and they are completely unqualified to do the work of leadership” (Identifying False Leaders). I was ashamed as I contemplated God’s words. I believed that anyone could change, as long as I fellowshiped with them on the truth and they said they accepted it and admitted their fault. I didn’t see people according to their essence; I was blind of eye and heart. Back when I first met Sister Li, I exposed and analyzed the nature of her pursuit of status and the path she took. When I heard her express some understanding and willingness to repent, I felt my fellowship had achieved results and that she would change, so I promoted her to a leader position. After a while, Sister Li again concerned herself with image and status, and did no practical work. After I exposed and fellowshiped with her, when I saw her sincere attitude and she expressed a desire to repent, I believed again that she would change. In fact, Sister Li always pursued fame and status and didn’t do practical work, and she never repented or changed. She was shown to be a false leader long ago, but I continued to fellowship with her and give her chances. I really was too blind and ignorant. In fact, fellowship on the truth only plays a supporting role. Whether people can change depends most on whether they can pursue the truth. For those who genuinely pursue and accept the truth, other people’s fellowship, aid, guidance, and dealing can help them reflect and know themselves according to the truth, repent, and change. Those who do not accept the truth and are sick of the truth, no matter how much you fellowship, will never accept the truth, nor will they know and hate themselves based on the truth, so it is impossible for them to change. I didn’t treat people of each type according to God’s word and the truth. I blindly and arrogantly applied rules based on my own imagination, and as a result, I shielded a false leader, which disrupted the work of God’s house. I was purely playing the part of Satan. As I reflected, I confessed to God and repented, “God, I wish to change my mistaken views, seek the truth, and act according to principles in my duty.”
Later, I went to a church to investigate work, and the brothers and sisters reported that Brother Xiang, the church leader, was passive and irresponsible in his duty. At meetings, he didn’t fellowship on the truth to resolve others’ problems. Church work was ineffective, but he did not actually oversee or supervise anything, and he did no practical work. When others gave him suggestions, he didn’t accept them, and he gave various excuses to refute them. Sometimes he said, “Why don’t you reflect on your own problems?” All of this made the others feel constrained. He also liked to nitpick and find leverage over others. According to principles, Brother Xiang was a false leader and had to be dismissed. I asked the church deacons what they thought of Brother Xiang’s issues. They said, “Brother Xiang doesn’t bear a burden in his duty, but every time, after we fellowship with him, he shows understanding of himself and says he wants to repent and change. We want to help him and see what happens.” When I heard this, I thought, “According to Brother Xiang’s behavior, he is a false leader and must be replaced. Otherwise, the work of God’s house will suffer. But the deacons disagree, so maybe I’m wrong? If I insist on removing Brother Xiang, if I’m mistaken, what will they think of me? Will they say I’ve had my duty for many years and still can’t discern people?” I knew I was thinking of my image and status again, so I prayed for help in forsaking myself. I realized the deacons were only looking at the fact that Brother Xiang had a way with words. They weren’t evaluating him based on God’s word. I chose the wrong person before because I didn’t discern based on the truth or God’s word. This time, I had to learn the lesson, seek the truth with everyone, and evaluate false leaders based on God’s word. This is the only accurate way to do it.
After that, I found a passage of God’s word about discerning false leaders. “Discerning whether or not a person is a false leader is not done by using your eyes to look at their face and see whether their facial features are good or evil, nor is it done by looking at how much they outwardly appear to have suffered, or how much they have run around. Rather, you must look at whether they fulfill their responsibilities as a leader and whether they can use the truth to resolve practical problems. This is the only accurate standard by which to evaluate the question. This is the principle of analyzing, discerning, and determining whether a person is a false leader. Only in this way can the evaluation be just, in line with principles, in accordance with the truth, and fair to everyone. The characterization of someone as a false leader or false worker must be based on sufficient facts. It must not be based on one or two incidents or transgressions, much less can temporary corruption be used as a basis for it. The only accurate standards by which to characterize someone are whether they can do practical work and use the truth to resolve problems, as well as whether they are a correct person, whether they are someone who loves the truth and can obey God, and whether they possess the work and enlightenment of the Holy Spirit. Someone can only be correctly characterized as a false leader or false worker based on these factors. These factors are the standards and principles for evaluating and determining whether someone is a false leader or false worker” (Identifying False Leaders). We fellowshiped on this passage together, understood how to evaluate and discern false leaders. It is not to look only at how pleasing their words sound. The key is whether they can do practical work and resolve problems with truth, and also whether they can accept the truth, pursue the truth, genuinely know themselves, and genuinely repent and change. We used these principles to evaluate Brother Xiang. He consistently performed his duty without a burden and did no practical work. The brothers and sisters fellowshiped and helped him many times, but he never accepted or reflected on himself, and he made accusations against others, making everyone feel constrained. We saw that he did not do any practical work or pursue the truth, so he was a false leader, and had to be dismissed. After hearing this, the brothers and sisters blamed themselves and said, “We don’t discern him or evaluate him using God’s word. We were deceived by the false image he presented. We nearly acted as shields for a false leader who disrupted the work of God’s house.” Seeing that they now had discernment of false leaders, I felt very at ease, and we dismissed Brother Xiang on the spot.
After these experiences, I saw that using people based on notions is actually harming others and ourselves. Not only does it harm the work of God’s family, it causes you to transgress as well. From now on in my duty, I hope to seek more truth and principles, and view things according to God’s word. Where I don’t understand, I wish to let go of my image and status, and fellowship more with my brothers and sisters, to make up for my own deficiencies and maintain the work of God’s house. Thank God!
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