Bearing Witness to God Is Truly Doing a Duty
By Xinrui, South Korea
Recently, I saw some videos of newcomers’ experience testimonies, and I was very moved. Despite believing for two or three years, they could share their experiences and testimonies. I felt quite ashamed, and I began to reflect on why I had believed for many years, yet couldn’t testify God. One day, I came across a passage of: “What you have experienced and seen surpasses that of the saints and prophets from all ages, but are you able to provide testimony greater than the words of these saints and prophets of times past? What I now bestow upon you surpasses Moses and eclipses David, so likewise I ask that your testimony surpass Moses and that your words be greater than David. I give you a hundredfold—so I likewise ask you to repay Me in kind. You must know I am the One who bestows life unto mankind, and it is you who receive life from Me and must bear witness for Me. This is your duty which I send down upon you and which you ought to do for Me. I have bestowed all My glory unto you, I have bestowed unto you the life that the chosen people, the Israelites, never received. By rights, you ought to bear witness to Me and devote to Me your youth and lay down your life. Whomsoever I bestow My glory unto shall bear Me witness and give their life for Me. This has long been predestined by Me. It is your good fortune that I bestow My glory upon you, and your duty is to testify to My glory. If you were to believe in Me only to gain blessings, then My work would bear little significance, and you would not be fulfilling your duty. … What you have received is not merely My truth, My way, and My life, but a vision and revelation greater than that of John. You understand many more mysteries, and have also looked upon My true countenance; you have accepted more of My judgment and know more of My righteous disposition. And so, though you were born in the last days, your understanding is that of the former and the past, and you have also experienced the things of today, and this was all personally done by Me. What I ask of you is not excessive, for I have given you so much, and you have seen much in Me. Thus, I ask you to bear witness for Me to the saints of ages past, and this is My heart’s only desire” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. What Do You Know of Faith?). After reading God’s word, I was very excited, but I also felt quite guilty. I was excited to be lucky enough to experience God’s work and enjoy the supply of God’s words, but felt guilty that I had believed in God for many years and enjoyed so much of God’s grace, but had no testimony of God. I thought that in the last days, God has freely given us many truths, but because we do not pursue the truth, and our ability to understand is poor, God fellowships with us on all aspects of the truth in detail, gives us examples and analogies, and explains it to us from the ground up to ensure we understand. God targets our corrupt dispositions and expresses words to judge and expose us, as well as reminds, exhorts, encourages, and comforts us. God has expended so much effort and paid such a price for us, and He does so because He wants us to understand the truth and know Him, rid ourselves of our corrupt disposition, and genuinely repent and change. This is the testimony God wants. It has been 30 years since He started His work. He has done so much work and expressed so much truth, and He wants to see testimony in us. Even if it is shallow, He accepts if it is real. God hopes that we can share our experience and knowledge of His work and write articles of testimony because this is the fruit of God’s work and the embodiment of God’s effort. God especially appreciates this testimony. Such testimony is the most pleasing and comforting to God. Then I thought about myself. Although I had received much from God, I didn’t dare think about which aspects of truth I understood and which reality of truth I had entered into, because I only understood much of God’s word doctrinally, but hadn’t seriously contemplated or experienced it. So, when it came to testifying God and writing articles of testimony, I felt intimidated and diffident, and I made very little effort in this regard. Thinking about how I’d believed for years, yet couldn’t write about my experience, and had no testimony, made me very distressed.
Once, a sister asked me if I wanted to practice writing experience testimonials. I agreed at the time, but never wrote anything. Sometimes I wrote a little and put it aside, and then never finished the article. Actually, I didn’t take charge of much work, but I always felt I was so busy that I didn’t have time to write. And so, day after day, I put off the matter of writing articles. Later, I made up a writing schedule, but when the time came, I was still busy with other things, so I couldn’t calm myself to write. I found various reasons and excuses. Sometimes I said I was poorly educated, or had low caliber, so I couldn’t write well. Other times I said I was busy and had no time, so I would do it later. Sometimes, I felt like writing articles wasn’t particularly important, and what mattered most was handling my daily work, because if I delayed it, I would be pruned and dealt with, or dismissed if it was serious. No one got on my case for not writing. When I thought about it like this, I took writing articles even less seriously, and didn’t regard writing testimonial articles as an important part of my duty. When it came to writing testimonials, I was trapped in this stubborn and rebellious state.
One day, I read a passage of God’s words, and my view changed a little. God’s words say, “Now do you truly know why you believe in Me? Do you truly know the purpose and significance of My work? Do you truly know your duty? Do you truly know My testimony? If you merely believe in Me, yet there is no sign of My glory or testimony in you, then I have long ago eliminated you. As for those who know it all, they are even more thorns in My eye, and in My house, they are nothing more than obstacles in My way, they are tares to be completely winnowed out in My work, they have no use, they are worthless, and I have long abhorred them. Often does My wrath befall all who are bereft of testimony, and never does My rod stray from them. I have long since turned them over to the hands of the evil one; they are bereft of My blessings. When the day comes, their chastisement will be more grievous even than that of foolish women. Today, I do only the work that is My duty to do; I will bind all the wheat into bundles, together along with those tares. This is My work today. Those tares shall all be winnowed out in the time of My winnowing, then the grains of wheat shall be gathered into the storehouse, and those tares that have been winnowed out shall be placed in the fire to be burned to dust. My work now is merely to bind all men into bundles; that is, to utterly conquer them. Then shall I begin winnowing to reveal the end of all men. And so you ought to know how you should satisfy Me now, and how you ought to set upon the right track in your faith in Me. What I desire is your loyalty and obedience now, your love and testimony now. Even if you do not know at this moment what testimony is or what love is, you should bring to Me your all, and turn over to Me the only treasures you have: your loyalty and obedience. You should know that the testimony to My defeat of Satan lies within the loyalty and obedience of man, as does the testimony to My complete conquest of man. The duty of your faith in Me is to bear witness to Me, to be loyal to Me and none other, and to be obedient to the end” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. What Do You Know of Faith?). The passage clearly stated that believers in God should testify God and that this is a person’s duty. When believers in God can’t testify, they become objects of God’s hatred. This line of God’s word in particular, “If you merely believe in Me, yet there is no sign of My glory or testimony in you, then I have long ago eliminated you.” “As for those who know it all, they are even more thorns in My eye, and in My house, they are nothing more than obstacles in My way, they are tares to be completely winnowed out in My work.” “Often does My wrath befall all who are bereft of testimony, and never does My rod stray from them. I have long since turned them over to the hands of the evil one; they are bereft of My blessings. When the day comes, their chastisement will be more grievous even than that of foolish women.” God’s words made me feel judged, and I felt God’s wrath. After believing in God for so many years and following God to the present, after reading so much of God’s word, hearing countless sermons and fellowship, experiencing pruning, dealing, setbacks, and failures, and experiencing the enlightenment, guidance, and discipline of the Holy Spirit, I still couldn’t testify God. I had some experience and knowledge, but I didn’t want to work on writing. I spent all day handling external things, but didn’t focus on seeking the truth to resolve my corrupt dispositions, and didn’t seek to make progress in the truth. From my usual experience, I gained a little knowledge and light, but it was often one-sided, disparate, and non-specific. I didn’t contemplate and gain clarity so that I could gain genuine understanding, and over time, I lost what I gained, which also suppressed the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment. I thought back to when I practiced watering newcomers before. I couldn’t even fellowship well on the truth of testifying God’s work. The things I shared were relatively superficial, and I couldn’t grasp key points. Later, when I preached the gospel, I also couldn’t grasp the key points to analyze religious notions or the fallacies of antichrists clearly or convincingly. In every aspect of the truth, I only half-understood, and couldn’t fellowship clearly. During fellowship on problems of life entry at gatherings, most of the time I only persuaded people using superficial cliches, or I offered some empty theories and shallow understandings. I couldn’t resolve problems at the root, and my testimony of God was ineffective. My understanding of any aspect of the truth was essentially hollow. Most of my fellowship was just letters and doctrines, not the realities of truth. I saw that I believed in God but couldn’t testify God. I only put in a little effort and work, but I hadn’t actually accepted the judgment and chastisement of God’s words, nor did I have any testimony of understanding the truth and changing my life disposition. I thought of how God said such people are thorns in His eye, stumbling blocks, and tares which He will sift out. God’s wrath for such people never fades. These thoughts left me feeling miserable. I had believed in God for years and learned nothing. I felt like I was useless, an utter embarrassment, and that I was unworthy to stand in God’s presence. God especially hates such people, doesn’t tolerate them, and becomes furious with them. Although such people perform their duties, because they don’t pursue the truth and can’t testify God, they can’t receive the work of the Holy Spirit, and in the end, they can’t be saved by God. Seeing God’s attitude toward such people, my notions were completely refuted. I used to think that if I did the work entrusted to me, did no evil, made no big mistakes in my duty, committed no serious transgressions, and if I wasn’t dismissed, I was essentially saved, and I had a hope of salvation. Now I saw this was incompatible with God’s requirements. It was just my own notions and wishful thinking. Believing in God is not merely working hard in your duty, abiding by some rules, and not committing any obvious evil. If you believe in God for many years and still have no testimony, you will ultimately be eliminated. I thought of God’s words, “If a day comes when you are unable to testify to all that you have seen today, then you will have lost the function of created beings, and there will be no meaning whatsoever to your existence. You will be unworthy of being human. It could even be said that you will not be human! I have done immeasurable work on you, but because you are currently learning nothing, aware of nothing, and ineffective in your labors, when it is time for Me to expand My work, you will just stare blankly, tongue-tied and utterly useless. Will that not make you a sinner for all time? When that time comes, will you not feel the deepest regret?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. What Is Your Understanding of God?). God’s words made me feel ashamed, and at the same time very anxious. I felt like I couldn’t go on like that. Later, I began to focus on writing testimony articles.
When I actually got down to writing, there was still a block in my mind. At first, I couldn’t straighten out my experience, and didn’t know where to start, plus there was other work that was more urgent, so I worked on other things. After that, I used poor caliber as an excuse. I thought, others can write a whole testimony article in half a day, but I can’t without a quiet environment and sufficient time, so I stopped writing again. I began wondering about this after that. Why was I so passive about writing testimony articles? I agreed to write, but I didn’t do anything. One day, I saw a passage of God’s words and gained some understanding of myself. God says, “How can you know and discern a satanic disposition? One should judge from the things Satan likes doing, as well as the methods and tricks by which it does things. It never likes positive things, it likes evil, and it always thinks itself competent and able to control everything. This is Satan’s arrogant nature. That’s why Satan recklessly denies, resists, and opposes God. It is the representative and source of all negative things and all evil things. To be able to see this matter clearly is to have discernment of satanic dispositions. It is not a simple matter for people to accept the truth and practice the truth, because they all have satanic dispositions, and they all suffer the restraint and bondage of their satanic dispositions. For example, some people recognize that it is good to be an honest person, and they become envious when they see others able to be honest, tell the truth, and speak in an openhearted manner, yet if you ask them to be honest people themselves, they find it difficult. Isn’t this a satanic disposition? They say nice-sounding things, but they don’t practice. This is called being sick of the truth. Those who are sick of the truth have a hard time accepting the truth and have no way to enter into the realities of the truth. The most obvious state for people who are sick of the truth is that they are not interested in positive things, and they especially like to follow worldly trends. Their hearts do not accept the things that God loves and what God requires people to do. Instead, they are dismissive and indifferent, and some people even often despise the standards and principles God requires of people. They are repelled by positive things, and they always feel a sense of resistance, confrontation, and contempt toward them. This is the primary manifestation of being sick of the truth. In church life, reading God’s word, praying, fellowship on the truth, performing duties, and resolving problems with the truth are all positive things. This is obvious, but some people are disgusted with these positive things, don’t care for them, and are indifferent to them. What is most hateful is that they take a contemptuous attitude toward positive people, such as honest people, those who pursue the truth, those who perform their duties faithfully, and those who safeguard the work of God’s house. They always try to attack and exclude these people. If they discover that they have shortcomings or expose corruption, they do nothing but make a big fuss and belittle. What kind of disposition is this? Why do they hate positive people so much? Why are they so fond and so approving of wicked people, nonbelievers, and antichrists, and why do they often collude with such people? Where negative and evil things are concerned, they feel excitement and elation, but when it comes to positive things, when they hear fellowship on the truth or see the truth being used to solve problems, they resist, become dissatisfied, and vent grievances. Isn’t this disposition being sick of the truth? Isn’t this exposing a corrupt disposition? There are many people who believe in God who like to do work for God and run around zealously; they have endless energy for careless speeches and deeds, and for showing themselves off. Yet when they are asked to act according to the principles of the truth, they have no energy. If asked not to show off, they feel they have no status, and their frantic energy is nowhere to be seen. All people seek for their own interests. When they first believe in God, they all want crowns and rewards, and they are all willing to suffer anything. Why do they do this? It’s all for the sake of blessings, and to put it bluntly, it’s for the sake of entering the kingdom of heaven. Without a benefit to gain, people lose motivation, become depressed, and have no enthusiasm. These things are all caused by a corrupt disposition that is sick of the truth. When controlled by this disposition, people often have no direction and do not know what path to choose. They often lose their way and always take the wrong path. When people don’t recognize their disposition of being sick of the truth, they can’t accept the truth, much less can they achieve change. They still follow the flesh and their corrupt satanic disposition. The implication is that they still follow Satan, everything they do is in service of Satan, and they are servants of Satan” (The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days). Previously, I didn’t work hard on writing articles, and I only felt a little temporary guilt over it. I didn’t think it was a big problem. Only through the revelation of God’s word did I see that this was loathing the truth, a kind of satanic disposition. Writing articles requires experience and knowledge, and it takes time to think about. We must calm ourselves, contemplate God’s word, seek the truth, and reflect on ourselves. But handling external matters, things we are skilled at, is easy. This is why, when asked to seek the truth, contemplate God’s word, and write articles, I refused and resisted in my heart. I knew that God has fellowshiped much on how to testify Him, and all my brothers and sisters practice writing experience testimonials, but I was indifferent, and even made excuses to avoid it. I saw that I was especially stubborn. I resisted and resented things that involve the truth, and was unwilling to work hard. In external things, for work not involved with the essence of truth, I was especially enthusiastic and willing. This really was the satanic disposition of weariness of the truth. In fact, the process of writing an article is a process of seeking truth. Seeking truth to solve problems can best reveal people’s attitude towards truth. Even though I had believed in God for years, could forsake and expend to fulfill my duty, and I could speak a lot of letters and doctrines, I was not interested in the truth and did not yearn for it or treasure it, nor did I have genuine obedience to God. I still lived by my satanic disposition and was still hostile to God. Once I reflected on this, I realized that my problem was serious. After years of believing in God, my life disposition hadn’t changed at all. There was no real change in my attitude towards God and the truth. I still belonged to Satan, hated the truth and resisted God. If this continued, no matter how long I believed or how much effort I put in, I would never understand the truth or resolve my corrupt dispositions. Even if I believed to the end, I would never be fully saved. At this moment, I felt a little afraid, so I prayed to God to repent. “God, I do not love the truth, I’m sick of it. I only enjoyed expending effort and labor in my duty. Now I see how pathetic I am in my belief. I don’t want to continue this way. I wish to turn around toward You, and work hard to pursue the truth.”
Later, in response to my complaints of being poorly educated and having poor caliber, a sister sent me a passage of God’s words which I found very helpful. God says, “Experiencing God’s judgment and chastisement brings new gains and real experiences—so you should bear testimony to God. When bearing testimony for God, you should mainly talk more about how God judges and chastises people, what trials He uses to refine people and change their dispositions. You should also talk about how much corruption has been revealed in your experience, how much you have endured and how you were eventually conquered by God; talk about how much real knowledge of God’s work you have, and how you should bear witness for God and repay Him for His love. You should put substance into this kind of language, while putting it in a simple manner. Do not talk about empty theories. Speak more down-to-earth; speak from the heart. This is how you should experience. Do not equip yourselves with profound-seeming, empty theories in an effort to show off; doing so makes you appear quite arrogant and senseless. You should speak more of real things from your actual experience that are genuine and from the heart; this is most beneficial to others, and most appropriate for them to see. You used to be people who opposed God the most and were least inclined to submit to Him, but now you have been conquered—never forget that. You should ponder and think about these matters more. Once people have understood them clearly, they will know how to bear testimony; otherwise, they will be liable to commit shameful and senseless acts, which is not bearing testimony to God, but bringing shame upon God. Without genuine experiences and understanding of the truth, it is not possible to bear testimony to God; people whose faith in God is muddled and confused will never be able to bear testimony to God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Pursuing the Truth Can One Achieve a Change in Disposition). After reading God’s words, I understood. Genuine testimony of God is to testify God’s words and God’s work, fellowship your experience of judgment, chastisement, trials, and refinement of God’s word, fellowship on the corruption you display, and share what knowledge you gained of yourself through what God’s word reveals, and how you found entry, so that others can see God’s righteous disposition and know God’s work and God’s love. To testify God it doesn’t matter how capable one is at speaking of advanced theories. All that matters is that you speak honestly and sincerely. Once I realized this, my heart felt a little brighter. The same is true of writing testimonials. Your educational level or writing style doesn’t matter. The key is whether you can expend the effort to pursue the truth, whether you seek the truth to resolve your corruption and problems, whether you experience God’s judgment, analyze and know yourself based on God’s word, clearly see the essence of problems, and genuinely repent and change. When you are equipped with these things, the articles you write will be good. This has nothing to do with your level of education. All you need to do is write these practical things in the language of daily life. You simply need to write what you think and understand. If you write out your genuine understanding and feelings in your own words, whatever can benefit others, then you have a testimonial. In the past, I always thought I had low education and low caliber, and I used this as an excuse not to write testimony articles, as if writing them required a high level of knowledge, but now I see that this view was wrong. I shouldn’t have lived in this state. I should focus on pursuing the truth, practicing and experiencing God’s words and writing articles about what I experienced and gained to testify God. This was my duty.
Later, at a gathering, I saw a passage of God’s words, which helped me bear a burden in pursuing the truth and writing testimonial articles. God’s words say, “What is the cause of the emergence of the category of people who are leaders and workers, and how did they emerge? On a grand scale, they are required for God’s work; on a smaller scale, they are required for the work of the church, they are required by God’s chosen people. … The difference between leaders and workers and the rest of God’s chosen people is only a special characteristic in the duties they perform. This special characteristic shows principally in their leadership roles. For example, no matter how many people a church has, the leader is the head. So what role does this leader play among the members? They lead all of the chosen ones in the church. So what effect do they have throughout the whole church? If this leader takes the wrong path, God’s chosen people in the church will follow the leader down the wrong path, which will have a huge impact on all of them. Take Paul for example. He led many of the churches he founded and God’s chosen people. When Paul went astray, the churches and God’s chosen people he led also went astray. So, when leaders go astray, they are not the only ones who are impacted, but the churches and God’s chosen people they lead are impacted as well. If a leader is a right person, one who is walking the right path and pursues and practices truth, then the people they lead will eat and drink God’s words properly and seek truth properly, and, at the same time, the leader’s life experience and progress will be visible to others, and will impact others. So, what is the correct path that a leader should walk? It is being able to lead others to an understanding of the truth and an entry into the truth, and to lead others before God. What is an incorrect path? It is to pursue status, fame, and profit, to frequently elevate oneself and to bear witness to oneself, never bearing witness to God. What effect does this have on God’s chosen ones? They will stray far from God and come under this leader’s control. If you lead people to come before you, then you are leading them to come before corrupt mankind, and you are leading them to come before Satan, not God. Only leading people to come before truth is leading them to come before God. Leaders and workers, no matter whether they walk the right path or the wrong one, have a direct influence on God’s chosen people” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. They Try to Win People Over). After reading God’s words, I was clearer about my responsibilities and duties. At the same time, I felt a great responsibility on my shoulders. God tells us that what path leaders and workers take and what they seek not only affects themselves, but also the brothers and sisters they lead. When leaders and workers pursue the truth and are the right people then they will continually make progress in the truth, in daily life they will reflect on what mistaken views they have or what corrupt dispositions they live by, understand the essence of problems based on God’s words, and then find out which principles to enter. When leaders and workers take the right path, they will bear a burden for the life entry of their brothers and sisters and focus on seeking truth to solve problems, so the people they lead will also enter in this direction. If leaders and workers are neglectful, do not pursue the truth, spend all their time working to gain fame and status, are not interested in the pursuit of truth, and can’t fellowship on the truth to resolve problems, then their duty is just an external matter, or speaking in letters and doctrine to exalt and distinguish themselves, which can’t produce the results of testifying God. Then they are walking the path of resisting God, and they are also leading people in the wrong direction. Such people unconsciously go their own way and lead others down the path of doing service, which is Paul’s path of resisting God. This goes against God’s intention to work and save people. When I recognized this, I felt that God gave me the opportunity to be a leader not so that I could do external work, not so that I could do service and labor, and not so that I could pursue reputation and status. God’s intention was for me to play the role of a leader, someone who can lead others in eating and drinking God’s words, seek the truth to resolve problems in my duty, and gradually understand the truth and enter into the realities of God’s word. This was God’s commission as well as my duty. So, I felt that it was crucial to pursue the truth and focus on resolving my corrupt dispositions. At this point, I had a very shallow understanding of the truth, and I possessed no realities of truth, so I could only learn as I experienced it. As long as your heart and path are correct, you will receive God’s guidance and blessings.
In the following period, I began to reflect on my state, on what problems I solved by truly seeking the truth over my years of belief in God and which corrupt dispositions I had resolved. When I started to contemplate and reflect on this, I found that I was confused and only half-understood many questions. I didn’t genuinely understand the truth and see the essence of problems, or find principles of practice, nor did I ever effectively resolve problems. After that, I tried to write about the experiences of which I had a relatively good understanding, and as I wrote, I contemplated. I contemplated whenever I had time. When I finally finished writing the article, I felt very fulfilled, secure, and at ease, because in the process of writing, through seeking the truth, I naturally began to see my state and the essence of my problems more clearly, my knowledge of the truth became more practical and concrete, and my path of practice became clearer. I realized that writing testimony articles is critical to grasping my own state and seeking the truth to solve problems. This was a path for life entry, and also the best way to seek and understand the truth.
Later, I heard that many, including leaders and workers, didn’t focus on writing articles, nor did they expend any effort in this aspect. Some always said that they are busy and have no time. I thought, wasn’t this my exact state? I held that mistaken point of view as well, and I made excuses not to write. I thought, “If I take the process of how I learned about my state and how I changed my point of view and write an article about it, won’t that resolve some of my brothers’ and sisters’ problems?” Realizing this, I felt I now had a burden to bear, and I started preparing to write. Although my understanding was shallow and piecemeal, I knew writing this article was my duty, so I had to write about as much as I understood. With this goal in mind, when I met or fellowshiped with my brothers and sisters, we discussed this topic, and I thought about this topic when I had free time. During my morning devotional, sometimes I ate and drank God’s word on the subject. After a while, I could see the issue a bit more clearly, and when I started writing, it was much easier. After I made the outline, I expressed each layer of meaning according to my own understanding, and wrote out my thoughts and experiences in my own words. It didn’t feel all that difficult anymore, and as I contemplated things while I wrote, I felt like I could see the problem as well as aspects of the truth involved more clearly. I genuinely felt that the more we try to pursue the truth and the more we write articles to solve problems, the more we receive God’s enlightenment and guidance and the more blessed we are. I thought of a passage of God’s word, “The more mindful you are of God’s will, the greater the burden you bear, and the greater the burden you bear, the richer your experience will be. When you are mindful of God’s will, God will lay a burden upon you, and then enlighten you about the tasks which He has entrusted to you. When God gives you this burden, you will pay attention to all the related truths while eating and drinking of God’s words. If you have a burden related to the state of your brothers’ and sisters’ lives, then this is a burden that has been entrusted to you by God, and you will always carry this burden with you in your daily prayers. What God does has been laden onto you, and you are willing to do that which God wants to do; this is what it means to take on God’s burden as your own. At this point, in your eating and drinking of God’s words, you will focus on these types of issues, and you will wonder, How am I going to solve these problems? How can I enable my brothers and sisters to achieve release and find spiritual enjoyment? You will also focus on solving these problems while fellowshiping, and when eating and drinking of God’s words, you will focus on eating and drinking of words that relate to these issues. You will also carry a burden while eating and drinking of His words. Once you have understood God’s requirements, you will have a clearer idea about which path to take. This is the enlightenment and illumination of the Holy Spirit brought by your burden, and this is also God’s guidance which has been bestowed upon you. Why do I say this? If you have no burden, then you will not be attentive while eating and drinking of God’s words; when you eat and drink of God’s words while carrying a burden, you can grasp their essence, find your way, and be mindful of God’s will. Therefore, in your prayers, you should wish for God to place more burdens upon you and entrust you with even greater tasks, so that ahead of you, you may have more of a path on which to practice; so that your eating and drinking of God’s words has a greater effect; so that you grow able to grasp the essence of His words; and so that you become more capable of being moved by the Holy Spirit” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Be Mindful of God’s Will in Order to Attain Perfection). After reading God’s word, I realized that when we bear the burdens of our own life entry and problems in the church, we are able to expend more effort in seeking the truth to resolve problems conscientiously eat, drink and practice God’s word, and then fellowship and write about our own understanding of God’s word. Only then can we gradually enter into the reality of truth. During this process, as we bear burdens, yearn, and seek, we can obtain God’s enlightenment and guidance, gradually deepen our understanding of the truth, see a particular matter more clearly and thoroughly, and gain a more concrete and practical grasp on the truth. If we don’t work hard to pursue the truth or practice writing articles, even if we gain some light regarding God’s word, it is only a superficial, perceptual understanding that will always feel vague, like shapes in the fog, and it shows we have no real knowledge at all. Only by writing down our actual knowledge and experience, thoroughly contemplating and understanding issues based on God’s word, and finally raising our perceptual knowledge to explicit, rational knowledge does our understanding finally flower and bear fruit. This is our harvest, the crystallization of our thought. During this period, I also experienced how writing articles is a process of gaining clarity in matters, of understanding the truth and resolving problems. The more we write, the more we gain.
Now, I don’t resist writing articles. It is something I enjoy, because in the process of writing, I see my own corrupt dispositions more clearly, and my viewpoints and ideology also change as I come to understand God’s word. This is a real benefit, and something which is valuable and meaningful. Before, I always thought writing articles was laborious and especially difficult, and I would rather do external work than try to write. I was very rebellious. I even felt that writing articles would delay my work, but this view was actually quite mistaken and absurd. Writing articles doesn’t delay work at all. Instead, it prompts you to seek the truth to solve problems and makes you more effective in your duty. Now, whenever I have time, I try to calm myself and consider my state. I feel that I need to contemplate the problems I can’t see clearly or solve. I have gradually begun to bear a burden for pursuing the truth. I also feel I have many states that must be resolved according to God’s word, and slowly, I have developed a yearning for God’s word. This is all due to God’s grace and blessings, and I am especially grateful to God.