By Lorraine, USA

In March 2023, our district was holding a by-election to select a district leader. I thought to myself, “Although my life entry hasn’t been the best, I have always been responsible for the gospel work, the scope of work I’ve been supervising hasn’t been small, and the work has also yielded some results. In this election for the district leader, the brothers and sisters should choose me, right? Although I’m currently a gospel work supervisor, this is only a single-task job, and only a few people know of me. But being a district leader is a different matter. They supervise the overall work, and more people look up to and admire them. If I end up being chosen, the brothers and sisters will definitely think I pursue the truth, and that I’m not only able to supervise the gospel work, but also to be a leader.” Thinking of this, I felt really happy.

During those days, I was really active in my duties, and whenever someone asked a question in the group chat, I’d reply promptly, and sometimes, I sought about problems from the leaders and reported problems I found to them privately, wanting them to think that I had a sense of burden and responsibility, and so that they’d vote for me in the election. To my utter astonishment, one night, I saw a message from the upper leaders, announcing that Sister Charlotte had been elected to be a district leader. When I saw that name, I felt really upset. Although Charlotte had always been doing leadership duties, she had just come to our district to preach the gospel and wasn’t very familiar with the situation here. So why was she chosen for the district leader? For a while, I’d been supervising her work, but now that she’d suddenly been elected as a leader and would follow up on my work, how could I ever show my face again? Could it be that the brothers and sisters really saw me as that inferior? I really wanted to argue with the upper leaders and ask how exactly I was inferior to Charlotte. After all, in terms of the scope of work I supervised, she was no better than me; in terms of work experience and principles mastered, she was no better than me either; in terms of suffering and paying a price, I’d also suffered a lot. During my time as a gospel work supervisor, no matter what the church arranged for me to do, I did it, and when I encountered problems in the work, no matter how hard or painful things got, I never complained or grumbled. But despite all my hard work, why was it Charlotte who was chosen and not me? Could it be that there was something wrong with me? Was I not suited to be a district leader? Was I only suited to do a single-task duty? The more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I felt, and I lost my focus on my duties.

During that time, the church’s gospel work encountered some difficulties and problems, and it just so happened that this area was exactly what Charlotte was mainly supervising. Charlotte would discuss with brothers and sisters about how to resolve these problems. Although this work was outside of the scope of my supervision, I had been supervising gospel work for a longer time, and so I could understand some of the problems, and I should collaborate with everyone to discuss solutions. But when I thought about how this was outside of the scope of the work I was supervising, I felt that if I really did solve the problems, the upper leaders would be sure to think this was Charlotte’s achievement, and say that she had work capabilities. When I thought about this, I didn’t want to participate in the discussion. Sometimes, even when asked, I’d politely make excuses, saying, “You all discuss it, I don’t know much about this.” I’d even latch onto Sister Charlotte’s difficulties and problems, and now and then, I’d vent my dissatisfaction to the sisters around me, saying, “Not understanding the principles just won’t do. With so many issues in the work right now, how can she follow up on the work and solve problems without understanding the principles?” They’d listen and agree, saying, “Yeah, it’s really not OK for her not to understand principles, as she can’t solve problems this way.” After hearing this, I’d feel secretly happy inside, thinking, “Since you don’t think much of me, then let whoever you choose do this duty properly. I want to see how well she can actually do the job. When problems arise in the work, I’ll use facts to prove that you chose wrong, and I’ll have you see the consequences of not choosing me.” In reality, during that time, I found myself filled with darkness and pain, and when I saw those problems that arose in the work, sometimes I also felt guilty, thinking that I should work with Charlotte to solve these issues as quickly as possible. I wanted to message Charlotte on several occasions, but when I thought about how I wasn’t chosen for the district leader, I couldn’t swallow my pride, and I’d pull back my hands from the keyboard. My heart was tormented, wrestling back and forth; it was agonizing. I realized that my state was wrong and that I should adjust and turn it around promptly, yet I didn’t want to seek fellowship from my brothers and sisters, much less let go of my pride to seek fellowship from Charlotte. When the leaders implemented some tasks, I was unwilling to do them. Failing to grasp the principles, my brothers and sisters lived in difficulties without direction while doing their duty. The effectiveness of the gospel work I was supervising declined. The upper leaders fellowshipped with me and provided guidance to help me follow up on the gospel work, but I was consumed by reputation and status, and my thoughts weren’t on my duty. When it came to the tasks arranged by the leaders, I didn’t follow up on or implement them in a timely manner. As a result, the effectiveness of the gospel work continued to decline, until it reached a state of near paralysis.

Before long, I was dismissed. The leaders then assigned me to supervise the gospel work of a group. I not only didn’t reflect on why I was dismissed, but instead, I complained that the leaders shouldn’t have dismissed me, and I continued to live in feelings of resistance, with no mind to follow up on the work. The supervisor exposed and pruned me for not resolving the issues in the work in good time, and for the follow-up work being so sluggish, but I just couldn’t take it in. After a little over a month, the work I was supervising still showed no improvement. The supervisor saw that I consistently refused to accept the truth and reflect on myself, so he dismissed me as the group leader. After this, I was relegated to an ordinary church, and my state plummeted even more. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and I wouldn’t even speak during gatherings. The leaders tried to help me several times, but I refused to answer their calls. I felt resistant to the group leader following up on my work, and for several months, I didn’t get any results in my duties. Four months later, the leaders suddenly contacted me and dissected me, saying, “Brothers and sisters reported that your attitude toward your duties was careless, that you got no real results, and that your humanity also had problems. Ever since you’ve been dismissed, you’ve been living in a negative and resistant state. You’ve had no attitude of accepting the truth and you haven’t reflected on yourself. According to the principles, you need to be isolated for reflection.” When I found out I was going to be isolated, my mind went blank. I’d never thought about this. I’d believed in God for so many years, forsaking my family and career for my duty, and yet I ended up being isolated. During those days, I often thought of what the leaders said when they dissected me, “You are not someone who accepts the truth. You have problems with your humanity. You have no real submission.” These words kept running through my head, and I kept asking myself, “Could it be that I’m really the wrong person? Could it be that my journey of faith has come to its end?” My heart felt empty, and I wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. I felt like there was no outcome for me, and I even had thoughts of returning to the world. When I truly wanted to leave, my heart was filled with guilt, and I remembered how I had once made a vow to God, that I would not leave God no matter what situation I found myself faced with. I’d believed in God for so many years, and I’d eaten and drunk so much of God’s word and enjoyed so much of His grace and blessing, so I’d be truly lacking in conscience if I left like this. But when I thought about how I had already been isolated by the church, I became really negative and didn’t know what to do. During that time, I didn’t want to see anyone, and I spent my days feeling like a walking corpse.

One day, my tooth suddenly hurt terribly, and none of the medicine I used helped. At night, I could only cry alone under the covers, and my heart was filled with an indescribable loneliness and desolation. I wanted to pray to God, but I felt too ashamed to face Him. I felt like I wasn’t someone God would save, and that I was no longer worthy of praying to God. The more I closed my heart to God, the worse my toothache became. I could only cry out in my heart, “God, God …” The moment my heart opened to God, I knelt before Him and prayed, “God, I am feeling terrible. I don’t want to give up on my faith in You, but right now, I don’t know what to do.” After praying, I remembered these passages of God’s words: “Since you are certain that this way is true, you must follow it until the end; you must maintain your devotion to God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. You Should Maintain Your Devotion to God). “No matter what wrongs you have committed, no matter what wrong turns you have taken or how you have transgressed, do not let these become burdens or excess baggage that you have to carry with you in your pursuit of knowledge of God. Continue marching onward” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique VI). Pondering God’s words, I was deeply moved. I felt that God was still guiding me, encouraging me not to give up and to keep moving forward, and I felt a great strength in my heart. When I thought of this, I felt really guilty. Clearly, I had pursued reputation and status, not walked the right path, and disrupted and disturbed the church’s work. When I couldn’t gain reputation or status, I became negative and oppositional, neglecting the church’s work. With my behavior, however the church handled me was justified. Yet after being isolated, I remained intransigent, resistant, and even wanted to betray God, misunderstanding His heart. I saw how utterly lacking in conscience and reason I had been. I had believed in God for many years, I had eaten and drunk so much of His words, and I knew this to be the true way, so I should persist in my faith, and even without a good outcome, I should follow God to the end. I came before God and prayed, “God, I have erred, and I have been so rebellious. That I have reached this point is my own fault. God, I am willing to reflect on myself seriously and to rise up from where I have fallen. Please do not forsake me. Please enlighten and guide me, so that I may understand my issues.” During those days, I kept crying out to God like this.

During one of my devotionals, I read God’s words: “Antichrists consider their own status and reputation as more important than anything else. These people are not only deceitful, cunning, and wicked, but also extremely vicious. What do they do when they detect that their status is at risk, or when they lose their place in people’s hearts, when they lose these people’s endorsement and affection, when people no longer venerate and look up to them, and they have fallen into ignominy? They suddenly turn hostile. As soon as they lose their status, they become unwilling to perform any duty, everything they do is perfunctory, and they have no interest in doing anything. But this isn’t the worst manifestation. What is the worst manifestation? As soon as these people lose their status, and no one looks up to them, and no one is misled by them, out comes the hate, jealousy, and revenge. They not only have no God-fearing hearts, but also lack any shred of submission. In their hearts, furthermore, they are liable to hate God’s house, the church, and the leaders and workers; they long for the work of the church to run into problems or come to a standstill; they want to laugh at the church, and at the brothers and sisters. They also hate anyone who pursues the truth and fears God. They attack and mock anyone who is loyal in their duty and willing to pay a price. This is the disposition of the antichrists—and is it not vicious?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Two)). When I saw this passage of God’s words, I felt deeply distressed. I felt that every behavior God exposed seemed to describe me, especially when I saw God’s words saying antichrists cherish their own reputation and status more than anything, and they have no submission to or fear of God. They rack their brains and use any means to gain status, and once they lose their reputation and status, or lose the support and admiration of people, they immediately turn hostile, become negative and slack off in their work, and they develop jealousy and hatred in their hearts. They wish for problems to arise in the church’s work to laugh at the church. Then I looked at my own behavior—wasn’t it exactly the same? In the past, in order to be selected as the district leader and gain the esteem of the brothers and sisters, when I saw the brothers and sisters sending messages asking questions, I’d immediately jump in to answer, wanting to get the leaders’ attention. But when I learned that Charlotte was chosen as the district leader, I didn’t reflect on where I was lacking. Instead, because I wasn’t chosen, and because I couldn’t get the status or the admiration of more people, I became resistant and reasoned in my heart. I thought that I had more experience and had been supervising the gospel work longer than Charlotte, and so taking these things as capital, I became dissatisfied and discontented, and I used my duties to vent my frustrations. When I saw that the gospel work Charlotte was supervising encountered problems, I not only didn’t help resolve the issues, but I also took pleasure in these misfortunes. I even wished for these problems not to be solved so that the brothers and sisters could see that Charlotte was indeed not as good as me, and so that she would be humiliated in front of them. Not only that, I also vented my dissatisfaction to the sisters around me. I seized on some small issues in Charlotte’s duties, and behind her back, I judged that she lacked work capabilities, hoping that the brothers and sisters would take my side and think that the church had chosen the wrong person and buried my talents. I saw that I was completely unscrupulous in my pursuit of reputation and status, and that my disposition was malicious and vicious. Even after I was dismissed, I not only didn’t reflect on or know myself, but I also kept resisting and refusing to submit, and when the leaders tried to fellowship with me, I was unwilling to engage. I truly didn’t have a heart that submitted to or feared God, and much less did I have any attitude of seeking or accepting the truth. At that moment, I suddenly realized that not being chosen as the leader was actually a protection for me. Because my disposition was vicious and I focused on status too much, when I didn’t gain status, I became hateful, laughed at others, and even judged and undermined others. If I had really gained status, for anyone who didn’t listen to me, I would have been sure to suppress and exclude them, and I’d have committed even greater evils. When I pondered this, I realized just how dangerous my situation had been. Yet I’d been completely oblivious and had remained intransigent and unyielding. If it hadn’t been for my isolation, I would have remained stubborn and unrepentant. I came before God and prayed, “God, thank You for Your guidance. I now have a little understanding of myself, and I see that I am standing at the edge of a cliff. That I was not expelled is already Your mercy and You giving me the opportunity to repent. God, I am willing to truly repent. Please guide me to see through to the essence and consequences of pursuing status.”

During one of my devotionals, I read God’s words: “Antichrists’ cherishment of their reputation and status goes beyond that of normal people, and is something within their disposition essence; it is not a temporary interest, or the transient effect of their surroundings—it is something within their life, their bones, and so it is their essence. This is to say that in everything antichrists do, their first consideration is their own reputation and status, nothing else. For antichrists, reputation and status are their life, and their lifelong goal. … It can be said that for antichrists, reputation and status are not some additional requirement, much less things which are external to them that they could do without. They are part of the nature of antichrists, they are in their bones, in their blood, they are innate to them. Antichrists are not indifferent toward whether they possess reputation and status; this is not their attitude. Then, what is their attitude? Reputation and status are intimately connected to their daily lives, to their daily state, to what they pursue on a daily basis. And so for antichrists, status and reputation are their life. No matter how they live, no matter what environment they live in, no matter what work they do, no matter what they pursue, what their goals are, what their life’s direction is, it all revolves around having a good reputation and a high status. And this aim does not change; they can never put aside such things. This is the true face of antichrists, and their essence. You could put them in a primeval forest deep in the mountains, and still they would not put aside their pursuit of reputation and status. You can put them among any group of people, and all they can think about is still reputation and status. Although antichrists also believe in God, they see the pursuit of reputation and status as equivalent to faith in God and give it equal weight. Which is to say, as they walk the path of faith in God, they also pursue their own reputation and status. It can be said that in antichrists’ hearts, they believe that pursuit of the truth in their faith in God is the pursuit of reputation and status; the pursuit of reputation and status is also the pursuit of the truth, and to gain reputation and status is to gain the truth and life. If they feel that they have no reputation, gains, or status, that no one admires them, or esteems them, or follows them, then they are very disappointed, they believe there is no point in believing in God, no value to it, and they say to themselves, ‘Is such faith in god a failure? Is it hopeless?’ They often deliberate such things in their hearts, they deliberate how they can carve a place out for themselves in the house of God, how they can have a lofty reputation in the church, so that people listen when they talk, and support them when they act, and follow them wherever they go; so that they have the final say in the church, and fame, gain, and status—they really focus on such things in their hearts. These are what such people pursue” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). From God’s words, I saw that an antichrist’s pursuit of reputation and status is not temporary, and that it is something within their nature and essence. Antichrists take the pursuit of reputation and status as their goal in life. They believe that by gaining reputation and status, they gain everything, and that once they lose reputation and status, life loses its meaning. I realized that I had been just like this. Since childhood, I lived by the satanic poisons of “Aim to stand out and excel” and “One must endure the greatest hardships in order to become the greatest of men.” In school, I strived to be the top student and the best in class, and I thought this would earn me the admiration of my teachers and classmates. After I got married, when I saw many relatives and neighbors on my husband’s side were better off than us, I was unwilling to fall behind. Soon after marriage, I opened a business with my husband, wanting to be someone of wealth in the village, and to stand out from the crowd. After finding God, I still made reputation and status the object of my pursuit, thinking that by becoming a leader, the scope of my responsibilities would expand, and more people would admire and look up to me. I believed this was the only way to live a meaningful and valuable life. To gain status and admiration, I racked my brains in my striving. But when I wasn’t chosen as a leader and couldn’t gain the admiration and support of my brothers and sisters, I became dissatisfied and discontented, and I judged the newly elected leader as I pleased. Even when I saw problems in the gospel work, I ignored them, and I even laughed at others. When I was dismissed as a supervisor, I continued to be negative and oppositional, and when others followed up on my work, I also felt resistant. Even when I was isolated, I didn’t reflect on myself, and I even thought about betraying God and leaving His house. I saw that I was already walking on the path of an antichrist. At that moment, I had the feeling deep within me that the pursuit of reputation and status had truly harmed me so much. In my pursuit of reputation and status, I had lost the most basic humanity and reason. I brought disruption upon the church work and harm upon the people around me; my pursuit of reputation and status would only draw me ever further from God, and cause me to become more and more lacking in human likeness. Thinking about this, I felt a desire to quickly rid myself of this pursuit of reputation and status, and had the resolve to pursue the truth.

I read more of God’s words: “Pursuing reputation and status is not the right path—it runs in exactly the opposite direction of the pursuit of the truth. In sum, regardless of what the direction or goal of your pursuit is, if you do not reflect on the pursuit of status and reputation, and if you find it very difficult to put this aside, then that will affect your life entry. As long as status has a place in your heart, it will be fully capable of controlling and influencing your life’s direction and the goal of your pursuit, in which case it will be very difficult for you to enter the truth reality, to say nothing of achieving changes in your disposition; whether you are ultimately able to gain God’s approval, of course, goes without saying. What’s more, if you are never able to give up your pursuit of status, this will affect your ability to do your duty in a way that is up to standard, which will make it very difficult for you to become a created being that is up to standard. Why do I say this? God loathes nothing more than when people pursue status, because the pursuit of status is a satanic disposition, it is a wrong path, it is born of the corruption of Satan, it is something condemned by God, and it is the very thing that God judges and purifies. God loathes nothing more than when people pursue status, and yet you still mulishly compete for status, you unfailingly cherish and protect it, always trying to take it for yourself. Is there not a bit of a quality of being antagonistic to God in all this? Status is not ordained for people by God; God provides people with the truth, the way, and the life, so that they ultimately become a created being that is up to standard, a small and insignificant created being—not someone who has status and prestige and is revered by thousands of people. And so, no matter what perspective it is viewed from, the pursuit of status is a dead end. No matter how reasonable your excuse for pursuing status is, this path is still the wrong one, and is not approved of by God. No matter how hard you try or how great the price you pay, if you desire status, God will not give it to you; if it’s not given by God, you will fail in fighting to obtain it, and if you keep fighting there will only be one outcome: You will be revealed and eliminated, and you will meet with a dead end. You understand this, yes?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). From God’s words, I saw that the pursuit of reputation and status is not the right path, and that this is what God hates the most. God gives people duties, not status, and His intention is for people to be up to standard as created beings, not for people to become individuals of status and prestige. If people continually pursue reputation and status, this goes against God’s requirements, and essentially, this is opposing God, and the final outcome of this is to be revealed and eliminated by God. In reflecting on my past service as a gospel work supervisor, I saw that I had a lot of responsibilities, but I didn’t focus on how to do my primary work well. Instead, I was unsatisfied, wanting to be elected as the district leader to attain higher status, and be admired by more people. I thought about the archangel in the beginning. God made it ruler over the angels, but it was unsatisfied and wanted to be equal to God, and in the end, it was cast down into midair by God. My behavior was just like the archangel’s; I always wanted to get a higher position, to have more people admire and worship me. In essence, I was contending with God for people, wanting to have a place in their hearts. When I wasn’t chosen as a district leader and my ambitions and desires went unmet, I became discontented, dissatisfied, and didn’t submit to the situation God orchestrated, and I took my frustrations out on the work and opposed God. I vented my dissatisfaction at the cost of the church’s work, and this was resisting God! At that moment, I began to have some understanding of what God said about the pursuit of reputation and status being a dead end. When I thought about this, I was really grateful for the situation God had arranged for me. If I hadn’t been isolated, I wouldn’t have awakened in time, and I wouldn’t have known the nature and consequences of pursuing reputation and status. That the church did not expel me and only isolated me was already God’s mercy toward me.

One day during my devotionals, I read a passage of God’s words, and I knew how I should treat the fact that I wasn’t chosen as a district leader. Almighty God says: “If you think yourself fit to be a leader, possessed of the talent, caliber, and humanity for leadership, yet God’s house has not promoted you and the brothers and sisters have not elected you, how should you treat the matter? There is a path of practice here that you can follow. You must thoroughly know yourself. Look to see if what it boils down to is that you have a problem with your humanity, or that the revelation of some aspect of your corrupt disposition repulses people; or whether it is that you do not possess the truth reality and are unconvincing to others, or that the performance of your duty is not up to standard. You must reflect on all these things and see where it is, exactly, that you fall short. … You must pursue life entry, resolve your extravagant desires first, willingly be a follower, and come to submit to God truly, with no words of complaints for whatever He orchestrates or arranges. When you are possessed of this stature, your opportunity will come. That you wish to take on a heavy load, that you have this burden, is a good thing. It shows that you have a proactive heart that seeks to make progress and that you want to be considerate of God’s intentions and follow God’s will. This is not an ambition, but a true burden; it is the responsibility of those who pursue the truth and the object of their pursuit. You have no selfish motives and are not out for your own sake, but to bear witness for God and satisfy Him—this is what is most blessed by God, and He will make suitable arrangements for you. … God’s intention is to gain more people who can bear witness for Him; it is to perfect all who love Him, and to make a group of people complete who are of one heart and mind with Him as early as possible. Therefore, in God’s house, all who pursue the truth have great prospects, and the prospects of those who love God sincerely are without limit. Everyone should understand God’s intention. It is indeed a positive thing to have this burden, and it is something those with a conscience and reason should possess, but not everyone will necessarily be able to take on a heavy load. Where does this discrepancy come from? Whatever your strengths or capabilities, and however high your IQ may be, what is crucial is your pursuit and the path you walk” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (6)). As I pondered God’s words, I realized that the church’s election of leaders is based on principles. As a leader, one must be able to fellowship on the truth to resolve problems, and their humanity must also be up to standard. They must also have certain work capabilities and pursue the truth. If this person doesn’t pursue the truth and walks the wrong path, then even if they become a leader, they won’t go far. But I judged whether a person could be a leader based solely on the scope of duties they were responsible for, how much suffering they endured, and the length of time they had been trained. My standards were completely inconsistent with God’s words. Thinking back, although I spent a long time training to preach the gospel, and I understood some principles of preaching the gospel, and the results of my work were improving each month, I didn’t focus on my life entry, and I was satisfied with just keeping busy each day. I rarely reflected on and knew myself in the things I encountered, and I rarely pondered the truth principles. I was not someone who loved or pursued the truth at all. The main responsibility of a leader is to lead brothers and sisters to understand the truth, to enter into God’s words, and to experience God’s work. I didn’t focus on reflecting on and knowing myself, only on outward work, so I was not qualified to be a leader. If I really were selected as a leader but couldn’t do the actual work, wouldn’t I be a false leader? Additionally, to be a leader, one needs to oversee all aspects of the work and have certain work capabilities. I was only supervising gospel work at that time, and sometimes when there were too many tasks, I couldn’t handle them. I simply did not have the caliber or work capabilities for being a leader. Charlotte had always been a leader before, and fellowshipped the truth more clearly than I did, and though she lacked experience in supervising gospel work, her heart was in the right place, and she was willing to practice and learn, and electing her as a leader was a more appropriate choice, and I should support Charlotte’s work. After pondering this matter, I felt more at peace with not being elected as a leader.

Later, I read more of God’s words: “As one member of created humanity, a person must keep their own position, and conduct themselves in a well-behaved manner. Dutifully guard that which is entrusted to you by the Creator. Do not act out of line, or do things beyond your range of ability or which are loathsome to God. Do not try to be a great person, a superman, or a grand individual, and do not seek to become God. This is how people should not desire to be. Seeking to become great or a superman is absurd. Seeking to become God is even more disgraceful; it is disgusting, and despicable. What is precious, and what created beings should hold to more than anything else, is to become a true created being; this is the only goal that all people should pursue” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique I). “When God requires that people fulfill their duty well, He is not asking them to complete a certain number of tasks or accomplish any great endeavors, nor to perform any great undertakings. What God wants is for people to be able to do all they can in a down-to-earth way, and live in accordance with His words. God does not need you to be great or noble, or bring about any miracles, nor does He want to see any pleasant surprises in you. He does not need such things. All God needs is for you to steadfastly practice according to His words. When you listen to God’s words, do what you have understood, carry out what you have comprehended, remember well what you have heard, and then, when the time comes to practice, do so according to God’s words. Let them become your life, your realities, and what you live out. Thus, God will be satisfied. … You must all be clear about what kind of people God’s work saves, and what the meaning of His salvation is. God asks people to come before Him, listen to His words, accept the truth, cast off their corrupt disposition, and practice as God says and commands. This means living according to His words, as opposed to their own notions, imaginings, and satanic philosophies, or pursuing human ‘happiness.’ Whoever does not listen to God’s words or accept the truth, but still lives, unrepentant, by the philosophies of Satan and with a satanic disposition, this kind of person cannot be saved by God. You follow God, but of course this is also because God has chosen you—but what is the meaning of God choosing you? It is to change you into someone who trusts in God, who truly follows God, who can forsake everything for God, and who is able to follow the way of God; someone who has cast off their satanic disposition, no longer following Satan or living under its power. If you follow God and perform your duty in His house, yet violate the truth in every regard, and do not practice or experience according to His words, maybe even opposing Him, could you be accepted by God? Absolutely not. What do I mean by this? Performing your duty isn’t actually difficult, nor is it hard to do so loyally, and to an acceptable standard. You don’t have to sacrifice your life or do anything special or difficult, you merely have to follow the words and instructions of God honestly and steadfastly, not adding your own ideas or running your own operation, but walking the path of pursuing the truth. If people can do this, they will basically have a human semblance. When they have true submission to God, and have become an honest person, they will possess the likeness of a true human being” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Proper Fulfillment of Duty Requires Harmonious Cooperation). God asks us to conduct ourselves honestly and steadily, to stand in the position of a created being, and to hold to our duties. These are the goals we should pursue, and this is the likeness that a true person should have. If one never pursues the truth and never accepts it, then no matter how great their status or prestige grows, in God’s eyes, they are lowly and worthless, and they cannot receive His approval. I was a living example of this. I was responsible for quite a broad range of work before, but I only pursued reputation and status to gain people’s admiration, and I didn’t pursue the truth. When I wasn’t elected as a district leader and couldn’t gain the admiration and support of more people, I couldn’t submit, and I used the work to vent my frustrations, and unconsciously, I ended up walking on the path of resisting God and was dismissed. I also thought about how some antichrists were of high status and some of them were leaders, but they pursued reputation and status, not the truth. They did their duties without seeking principles. They absolutely refused to accept being pruned, and in the end, because of their numerous evil deeds, they were expelled and eliminated by the church. From these facts, I saw God’s righteousness more clearly. Whether one has status or whether people admire them is not important, as these things cannot decide everything. Reputation and status cannot help a person understand the truth and be saved, for God measures and determines a person’s outcome based on whether they can ultimately attain the truth, not based on how high their status is. If I believed in God just to pursue the admiration of others without pursuing the truth, and I didn’t focus on seeking the truth to satisfy God’s intentions in the things I encountered, then even if I believed until the end, I would still be eliminated. Only by fulfilling one’s duties and submitting to God’s orchestrations is a person precious in God’s eyes. In God’s house, the church reasonably determines which duties each person is suited for and assigns them accordingly, based on their strengths and caliber. I should submit to God’s sovereignty, stand in my proper position, and do my best in my current duty. Even if I was the smallest of all in a corner, I should keep to my duty and satisfy God. After gaining this understanding, I felt more at peace and liberated, and I was able to properly handle this situation. So, I came before God and prayed, “God, I am willing to submit to the situation You have arranged. Whether or not anyone admires me, no matter what my status is among others, even if my duty is not eye-catching, even if I’m put in a corner, I should still fulfill my duty and do whatever I can.” I often silently prayed to God like this in my heart. Slowly, my previous negative, passive, and resistant emotions gradually decreased, my state also improved, and the results of my duties improved little by little.

Soon, the leaders asked me to be a group leader and to supervise the gathering of a small group. I felt very grateful, thanking God for giving me another opportunity to train. Coincidentally, a sister I had once supervised had been selected as a church leader, and I felt some disappointment, thinking about how I was just a group leader and lacked the glamor that came with being a church leader, and I worried about how others would view me. I realized that my desire for reputation and status was rearing its head again, so I silently prayed to God in my heart. I thought of God’s words: “As one member of created humanity, a person must keep their own position, and conduct themselves in a well-behaved manner. Dutifully guard that which is entrusted to you by the Creator. Do not act out of line” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique I). “Status is not ordained for people by God; God provides people with the truth, the way, and the life, so that they ultimately become a created being that is up to standard, a small and insignificant created being—not someone who has status and prestige and is revered by thousands of people” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). As I contemplated God’s words, my heart became brighter, and I realized that as this matter came upon me, God was scrutinizing my heart. In the past, I always wanted to be looked up to and valued reputation and status more than life itself. When I wasn’t chosen to be a district leader, I found myself able to neglect my duty and laugh at my brothers and sisters, delaying the church’s work. This was an eternal stain on me and a permanent pain in my heart. I clearly understood that compared to status, responsibilities are more important. This time, I couldn’t pursue status like I had done before, I was determined to do my duty properly. Even if I were put in the most inconspicuous corner, I would still do my duty well, be a guileless and dutiful created being, and make up for my indebtedness in the past. I could no longer be Satan’s laughingstock, much less let God’s hopes down. Moving forward, in my duty, I proactively cooperated with the leaders. I asked what problems in the group needed my help to resolve, and sometimes, when the leaders asked me to check the states of the brothers and sisters, I did so proactively. Practicing in this way made me feel very at ease. Later, I heard that some brothers and sisters around me were being promoted, some of whom were even individuals I had previously supervised. Although I felt a bit unsettled, I prayed to God and handled the matter correctly. Seeing some brothers and sisters encountering difficulties, I tried my best to fellowship and help them, and the results of our duties improved more and more. After some time, the church leader told me that I was accepted back into the church. Hearing this news, I had an indescribable feeling in my heart. I felt very emotional, but even more, I felt a sense of guilt. God had placed me in this situation not to make things difficult for me or to laugh at me, but to help me recognize my problems and correct them in time. Yet at first, I didn’t know myself and almost left God. Thinking of this, I felt like slapping myself. I came before God and sincerely offered Him my gratitude and praise.

Having experienced these things, I truly realized that no matter what situations God places people in, it is always with the hope that people will truly repent and walk the right path. Even if someone is dismissed or placed in isolation, God never abandons them but continues to guide and care for them. He uses various means to awaken people’s hearts and turn them around. Through this experience, I gained some understanding of God’s righteous disposition. When I kept rebelling against and resisting God, His wrath came upon me. He sternly pruned and disciplined me through people, events and things around me, and put me aside; the moment I was willing to repent before Him, God used His words to continue enlightening and guiding me; when I truly turned back to God and practiced according to His words, the church accepted me back. God’s disposition is vivid and real, and His heart in saving people is sincere and good. Thank God!