By Zhang Mingxia, China

In August 2011, a colleague preached God’s gospel of the last days to me. At that time, I had been exposed to chemical drugs for a long time due to my work and suffered from aplastic anemia, so I often took time off to rest and had plenty of free time. Through praying and reading God’s words, I came to understand that heaven, earth and all things were created by God, as well as that humans came from God, and so we should believe in God and worship God. I also learned that in the last days, God comes incarnate and expresses words to completely save humankind from sin, and people can only be saved by accepting God’s work of the last days. After that, I often attended meetings and read God’s words. Unexpectedly, my illness slowly began to improve. After seeing this result, my family supported my belief in God.

In December 2012, the CCP started a new round of suppression and persecution of The Church of Almighty God. At that time, many brothers and sisters were arrested. One day, my older brother, who was the deputy director of the Water Conservancy Bureau, called me to his house. He said to me, “The government is cracking down on The Church of Almighty God. Once it finds out that someone believes in Almighty God, or that their family members believe, they will immediately be dismissed from public office. Then, neither they nor their family members will be allowed to join the Party, and their children will not be allowed to join the army or go to university. You have to stop believing in God from now on. Now, if you are arrested, your children won’t be able to take the university entrance exam or join the army, because they won’t pass the political background check. You have to consider the future of your children! Besides, your sister-in-law and I both work in the government departments and hold important positions. If you are caught, it will affect us. If that happens, who will arrange work for your son in the future?” My sister-in-law and nephew both joined in the call for me to stop. It made me very sad, because my older brother had been very good to me since I was a child, and he often took care of our family’s needs. He arranged my daughter’s job. I had always been very grateful to him. If he were to lose his job because of my belief in God, how could I ever face him? And if the whole family was implicated, they would hate me for it. With this in mind, I felt a little upset, so I had to promise them I wouldn’t go to meetings or preach the gospel. But my older brother was still worried, and before leaving, he specifically asked my husband to watch me more closely.

After that, my husband often came to see me in the workshop out of fear that I would go out for meetings, and he wouldn’t let me read God’s word at home. I had to read it in secret, out of fear my husband would find out. I thought back to the past, when my family members didn’t stop me from believing in God and attending meetings. Now, because they feared the power of the CCP, they had banded together to persecute me, and I couldn’t attend meetings or read God’s word normally. I felt that believing in God in China was a very difficult thing. Later, I read these words from God: “Because it is embarked upon in a land that opposes God, all of God’s work faces tremendous obstacles, and accomplishing many of His words takes time; thus, people are refined as a result of God’s words, which is also part of suffering. It is tremendously difficult for God to carry out His work in the land of the great red dragon—but it is through this difficulty that God does one stage of His work, making manifest His wisdom and His wondrous deeds, and using this opportunity to make this group of people complete. It is through people’s suffering, through their caliber, and through all the satanic dispositions of the people of this filthy land that God does His work of purification and conquest, so that, from this, He may gain glory, and so that He may gain those who will bear witness to His deeds. Such is the entire significance of all the sacrifices that God has made for this group of people” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Is the Work of God As Simple As Man Imagines?). “There is not one person among you who is protected by the law—you are, instead, sanctioned by the law. Even more problematic is that people do not understand you: Be it your relatives, your parents, your friends, or your colleagues, none of them understand you. When you are abandoned by God, it is impossible for you to continue living on earth, but even so, people cannot bear to be away from God, which is the significance of God’s conquest of people, and is the glory of God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Is the Work of God As Simple As Man Imagines?). God’s words struck a chord in me. In China, this atheist country, for believing in God and following the right path in life, we not only aren’t protected by the law, but we are condemned and arrested, and even our relatives are implicated. The CCP truly is the devil that hates God. If one believes in God and follows God in China, they are bound to be persecuted, but it is through this suffering that God perfects people’s faith. Once I understood God’s intention, I felt less miserable, and I was willing to rely on God to experience this environment. Two months later, my husband’s supervision of me became less strict, and I started to secretly attend meetings again.

In December 2015, I preached the gospel to a friend. Her family found out about it and threatened to report me. My older brother feared my arrest would affect his career, so he and my family sent me to a mental hospital after Spring Festival. On that day, my son, daughter, brother, and sister were all present. My daughter had depression, and she claimed her recent insomnia as an excuse to go inside and get some medicine when we passed by the mental hospital. I didn’t expect that when she came out, she also brought two nurses with ropes in their hands to tie me up. I finally realized that they were going to send me to the mental hospital, but it was too late to run. My family pushed and dragged me forcibly into the hospital. I struggled desperately and said I wasn’t sick, but no one paid attention. When I saw my family members being so ruthless, I thought, “No matter how you persecute me, I will never give up believing in God.” Two nurses pushed me down onto the bed when I wasn’t paying attention and forcibly gave me an injection. After the injection, I felt dizzy and too tired to resist. Then, they gave me a so-called examination. The nurse said my blood pressure was too high, and that I should be hospitalized there overnight for observation. That night, I was lying on the hospital bed, thinking back on what happened that day, and felt a burst of sadness. I didn’t expect my family to send me to a mental hospital just to protect their own interests and not be implicated by me. It was so cruel. How could these people be my family? They were just a pack of devils! The next day, I saw the medical certificate, which said, “Severe mental disorder due to cultic beliefs; prone to immediate manic episodes when in contact with believers in God.” I also heard from the doctor that I had to be hospitalized, because treating my condition would take time. My daughter said to me, “My uncle has already explained to the hospital director. You should stay here for a few days and think clearly about things. We will pick you up when you tell us you don’t believe in God anymore.” I was furious: Because I believe in God, I was being called mentally ill for no apparent reason. This was all the fault of the CCP! If not for the CCP’s arresting and persecuting people who believe in God, fabricating lies to mislead people, and implicating their families, I wouldn’t have been sent to a mental hospital. At this time, I remembered the words of God: “The devil tightly trusses all of man’s body, it veils both his eyes, and seals his lips firmly shut. The king of devils has rampaged for several thousand years, right up until today, when it still keeps a close watch on the ghost town, as if it were an impenetrable palace of demons; this pack of watchdogs, meanwhile, stare with glaring eyes, deeply fearful that God will catch them unawares and wipe them all out, leaving them without a place of peace and happiness. How could the people of a ghost town such as this ever have seen God? Have they ever enjoyed the dearness and loveliness of God? What appreciation have they of the matters of the human world? Who of them can understand God’s eager intentions?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Work and Entry (8)). God’s word was entirely correct. For someone born in the country of the great red dragon, there is no freedom at all. The CCP frantically suppresses and persecutes Christians, and even mental hospitals have become places where it tortures Christians. I was perfectly sane, yet I had been trapped in a mental hospital to force me to betray God. I hated the CCP, the mastermind behind everything. The more it persecuted me, the more it allowed me to clearly see its demonic essence of hostility to God, and it also strengthened my confidence in following God.

Later, the doctor said to my family, “Don’t worry. Leave her here for a few months, and she will promise not to believe in God when she comes out.” My family believed this was true, so they did the paperwork to commit me. After I was committed, just like the other patients, I was given three injections a day, and had to take pills at each of my three meals under the supervision of nurses. At first, I refused the injections and medicines, and the nurse threatened me, “If you don’t cooperate, we will tie you up and force you to take them!” I had personally seen how patients who refused treatment were tied to the beds and tortured. Having witnessed their cruel torment of the patients, I felt I had no choice but to obey.

One day at lunch, I didn’t go to eat. I sat on my stool and wept silently, thinking to myself, “I’m not sick, but I’m locked up here, and I don’t even have anyone to speak to. I can’t read God’s word, I can’t do my duty, and I have to take injections and medicines every day. When will this end? …” The more I thought about it, the sadder I became. Seeing that I wasn’t going to eat, the nurse threatened me, “If you don’t eat, we’ll tie you up with ropes, like the patient just now. We’ll tie you to the bed, put a catheter in your nose, and pour the food in!” I thought of the pitiable sight of the patient I had just seen, who was screaming in misery, and I was very afraid, so I had no choice but to go get my meal. During my hospital stay, every day I saw that patients who didn’t cooperate with treatment were abused and screamed in pain, which was frightening to watch. I felt like I was in a lair of demons, and I was very nervous every day. I am very worried that spending all day with these mentally ill people, and the doctors forcing me to take medicine and giving me injections, I might truly become mentally ill. If I became mentally ill, I wouldn’t be able to believe in God anymore, so what was the point of my life? In my pain and helplessness, I prayed to God to ask Him to lead me on the road ahead. After I prayed, I remembered God’s word: “What does this word, ‘faith,’ refer to? Faith is the genuine belief and the sincere heart that humans should possess when they cannot see or touch something, when God’s work does not align with human notions, when it is beyond human reach. This is the faith that I speak of. People are in need of faith during times of hardship and refinement, and faith is something that is followed by refinement; refinement and faith cannot be separated. No matter how God works, and no matter your environment, you are able to pursue life and seek the truth, and seek knowledge of God’s work, and have an understanding of His actions, and you are able to act according to the truth. Doing so is what it is to have true faith, and doing so shows that you have not lost faith in God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Those Who Are to Be Made Perfect Must Undergo Refinement). God’s words made me understand that this environment was a test for me to see if I had genuine faith. I thought of Daniel when he was thrown into the lions’ den. God was with him, and God sealed the lions’ mouth, so Daniel wasn’t hurt a bit. I saw that Daniel had faith in God, stood testimony for God, and witnessed God’s deeds, so I should no longer live in fear and cowardice. I had to rely on my faith in God to stand witness for God. When I realized this, I felt less pain in my heart.

Once, after two in the morning, I was sleeping when someone patted me twice. I sat up suddenly and was startled to see someone standing beside my bed. The mental patient just laughed at me and babbled nonsense. I chased her away, but she wouldn’t leave and continued to laugh. At this time, the other patients in the room were also awakened, and finally, the nurse came over and drove her away. Most of these mentally ill people were possessed by evil spirits, and I was required to remain with them every day. If this continued, sooner or later, the torment would drive me insane as well. The more I thought about it, the more painful it became. Over those days, I stopped singing songs and stopped contemplating God’s word. I was very despondent, and I thought it would be wonderful if someone could just fellowship with me. I prayed to God and told Him about my difficulties and pain. One morning, three or four days later, while watching TV with the other patients in the lobby, I saw a woman, about thirty years old, who I seemed to recognize from somewhere. She felt familiar. After I spoke with her, I found out that she believed in Almighty God. Like me, she was forcibly sent to the mental hospital because her family listened to the CCP’s rumors. After meeting a sister there, I was very happy to finally have a companion to talk to. God arranged for me to meet a sister there, and for us to fellowship and encourage one another, so I was very grateful to God.

The mental hospital was guarded by medical staff 24 hours a day, so we had to find opportunities in secret to fellowship on God’s words, discuss our experiences and understandings, and help and support each other. Once, in the patient activity hall, I whispered to her, “I’m afraid that if I stay here for too long, I will become mentally ill myself, so I really want to leave, but I can’t, and it’s very painful.” She answered by whispering a passage of God’s word to me: “Man’s heart and spirit are held in the hand of God, everything of his life is beheld in the eyes of God. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, any and all things, whether living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear in accordance with God’s thoughts. Such is the way in which God presides over all things” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God Is the Source of Man’s Life). She also told me about her experience in the mental hospital, and told me that God controls everything, so I shouldn’t be afraid, and should rely more on God. I realized that everything is in God’s hands, and without God’s permission, Satan couldn’t do anything to me. With the guidance of God’s word, I no longer felt so afraid.

Next, my sister and I wrote down the words of God and hymns we remembered and passed them to each other as a means of encouragement. Once, my sister gave me a note with a hymn on it. The lyrics read: “I’ll offer up my love and loyalty to God and complete my mission to glorify Him. I’m determined to stand firm in my testimony to God, and never give in to Satan. Oh, though our heads may break and our blood may flow, the backbones of God’s people can’t be bent. With God’s exhortations held in my heart, I determine to humiliate devils and Satan. Pain and hardships are predestined by God. I will be loyal and submit to Him unto death. I will never again cause God to weep and never again cause Him to worry” (Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs, I Wish to See the Day of God’s Glory). These lyrics inspired me, and I felt my heart grew stronger. No matter how Satan the devil treated me, I would never betray God. I had to stand witness and humiliate Satan.

The head doctor basically spoke to me once a week, and each time she persuaded me to give up my belief in God. I knew she followed and worked for the CCP, so I ignored her. Afterward, she came to talk to me again and asked me what I thought about my hospitalization. I thought, “You all know I’m not sick, but because I believe in God, you treat me as if I was mentally ill and keep me trapped here. You force me to take medicine and injections every day. You, as doctors, torment me with no conscience at all, and now you ask me what I think?” I asked her accusingly, “I’m not sick, so why do you insist on saying I am and treat me like a mental patient?” She glanced at me, then said viciously, “I’ll tell you plainly, the examinations we did for you don’t matter. What matters is that your belief in God makes you abnormal. Your condition is much more serious than those mentally ill people. And just so you know, you aren’t the first or the last of believers in Almighty God we’ve had here. If you insist on believing, you’ll be imprisoned for a few years. I have the final say here. Whether you’re sick or not depends on my decision!” I was very angry when I heard this. Hospitals were meant to be a place to save the dying and care for the sick, but now they had become a place for the CCP to torture Christians. We believe in God and walk the right path in life, but the CCP uses all manner of despicable means to harm people who believe in God. They are devils to the core, a political party of pure evil! Because of my belief in God, I was persecuted by the CCP, rejected by my family, and tortured by doctors with drugs. I saw clearly that the CCP is nothing but the demons come to earth. They are Satans that resist God and harm people. Later, my sister and I preached the gospel to those believers in the Lord we met in the hospital. Some were sent to the hospital for treatment because of insomnia, and some were forcibly brought in by the government because of their belief in the Lord. In the end, a few of them accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days.

Due to the forced injections and medicine from the doctors every day, my health was getting worse and worse. I felt dizzy and tired, and I always wanted to sleep, my shoulders felt heavy, and I could barely find the strength to lift my arms. I asked the doctors to stop the medication, but they didn’t listen. Later, my condition got worse and worse. I always had a headache, and it felt like I was in a trance every day. I was always flustered, uncomfortable, and very irritable; my hands shook, and I couldn’t hold things with chopsticks. I often had nightmares, and my memory also deteriorated. I often put things down and immediately forgot where I put them, and I couldn’t maintain my train of thought. Later, I would be looking for things that were still in my hands, and I was very flustered every day. I used to feel flustered for only a few minutes, but later these periods grew from ten minutes to half an hour. It was very uncomfortable, and my mind was out of my control. It felt like I had a mental disability, and I always wanted to cry. I silently prayed to God in my heart, asking Him to save me from Satan’s cruelty. After more than 40 days in the hospital, my daughter came to see me. That day, I was sitting in the hall with my head down. When I heard my daughter call me, I raised my head and looked at her for a few seconds in a stupor, then I slowly stood up, walked to her, pulled on her arms, and cried, “Take me home, take me home….” After a moment, I started laughing again. My daughter was surprised and said, “Why do you become like this? Are you really sick?” My daughter took me to my older brother’s house. He scolded her, “Why did you bring your mother back?” Then he asked me whether I still believed in God. At that time, my consciousness was a little clearer, and I firmly said, “Yes! I believe in God, I pursue the truth, and I try to be a good person and follow the right path. Why shouldn’t I believe?” My sister-in-law said, “It looks like you haven’t been there long enough. Time to send her back.” I said angrily, “You already subjected me to that barbaric treatment, and you still want me to go back. You’re too cruel! If you do this, you’ll be punished sooner or later!” When they heard me say that, they didn’t say anything else, and my older brother reluctantly asked my daughter to go through the discharge procedures for me.

After I was discharged from the hospital, I had headaches all the time, and I was in a trance every day. I often randomly fell into a daze. When the lights were turned off at night, I was very frightened, because I felt like I was back in the mental hospital, and I often had nightmares. According to my husband, I sometimes cried and laughed at random, and I often lost my temper at him. I was terrified, and I thought, “Am I really mentally ill? If so, how will I believe in God in the future?” I knelt down in front of the bed and prayed to God with tears in my eyes, “God, what I have become today was caused entirely by the great red dragon. I hate it! God, please protect me, please save me….” After I prayed, I felt a little calmer. Two weeks later, my condition improved significantly, and I was able to consciously control my emotions. Three months later, my mental state had basically returned to normal, and my mental well-being had improved a lot, but my memory was still very poor. Half a year later, I started attending meetings and performing my duty again.

The forty-five days I spent living in the mental hospital caused a lot of damage to my mind and body. Through this torture, I clearly saw the CCP’s demonic essence of hating the truth and being hostile to God. I thoroughly hated the CCP, the devil, and I rejected and rebelled against it from the heart. At the same time, I also saw through the essence of my family. Just because I believed in God and they were afraid of being implicated and having their status and future affected, they followed the CCP and tried devious means to force me to give up my belief in God. They even sent me to a mental hospital. They didn’t care whether I lived or died. How could I consider them my family? They were devils! After experiencing this environment, I truly felt God’s love and salvation for me. In the mental hospital, when I was afraid, suffering, and helpless, God used His words time and again to enlighten me, guide me, and give me confidence and strength, and He arranged for a sister to help and support me. Without God’s protection, those demons would have driven me completely crazy and insensible. I saw God’s sovereign arrangements, omnipotence, and wisdom. I also truly felt that only God is my support at all times and that only God can save people, and I gained greater faith in God. Thanks be to God!