By Su Qing, China

In 2020, I was doing my duty in the proofreading team of God’s house. Most of the brothers and sisters I was cooperating with had relatively good caliber and were highly efficient in doing their duties, whereas I had average caliber and often had to ask them for advice when I encountered problems. I felt like I wasn’t on the same level as them—it was obvious that I was the worst. During that time, I always felt inferior to others. I felt stifled and miserable, lived in a negative and passive state, and I even wanted to leave. Because my state never turned around and I didn’t get any results in my duty, I was eventually dismissed. At that time, I felt that I had completely lost face, and I thought to myself, “No matter what, I will never come back to do my duty here again. It’s just too embarrassing!” Later, I was screening life experiential testimony articles in the church. Because I had grasped some principles and achieved some results in my duty, the brothers and sisters often came to ask me about their problems and difficulties, and I was basically always able to provide appropriate answers. They also accepted and agreed with all my suggestions, and the supervisor also arranged for me to follow up on some valuable articles in the church. I was very happy in my heart. I felt that this duty suited me very well and that it was within my reach. Not only did my work achieve some results, but I also gained the admiration of my brothers and sisters and was valued by the supervisor. I felt that I had finally found a suitable place and hoped to continue doing this duty forever.

In late December 2024, the supervisor sent a letter asking me to send my resume over. My heart began to churn, “Could it be that the supervisor has seen that I’ve achieved some results in my duty, and wants to promote me to do duty in the proofreading team of God’s house?” As soon as I thought about how I had been inferior to everyone else and always at the bottom when I was there before, I felt a lingering fear, thinking to myself, “I really don’t want to go back there to make a fool of myself again. It would be better for me to keep my head down, and steadily hold to my current duty. At least my work gets some results, and the brothers and sisters also admire me.” Thinking of this, I didn’t want to send my resume anymore. Later, the supervisor sent a letter to urge me, and only then did I send my resume over. Sure enough, a few days later, the supervisor really did send a letter notifying me that I was going to do my duty in the proofreading team. I felt upset and agitated, thinking, “It would be better to keep to my current duty than go there and lose face. There isn’t much pressure here, and I can also gain the admiration of those around me. Not to mention that my flesh would suffer if I went there, I would definitely be at the bottom again. If I were to be dismissed again for not getting any results in my duty, I’d completely lose face!” I wanted to write a letter to the supervisor to say that I had poor caliber and lacked work capability, and that I wouldn’t be able to shoulder the work even if I went. But if I refused the duty, I would feel self-reproach and unease in my heart. Over the years, I had enjoyed the watering and supply of so many of God’s words. The church’s work was in great need of people right now, and if I were to refuse this duty, it would show a total lack of conscience and be deeply disappointing to God. So, I wrote back to the supervisor and said I was willing to accept the duty.

Afterward, for various reasons, the supervisor asked me to wait a few days before joining the team. While I was waiting, my thoughts started to run wild again: “The brothers and sisters in the proofreading team are all of good caliber, and if I join the team, I will definitely be the worst among them.” Thinking of this, it felt as though a heavy stone were weighing on my heart, leaving me breathless. I even began to regret agreeing to the supervisor’s request to take on this duty. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have ended up in such an inescapable predicament. My heart was in constant turmoil, and I had no interest in anything I did. I would start feeling drowsy early in the evening. I realized that my state was not right, so I prayed and sought, “Oh God, I haven’t even started doing my duty, and I already want to back out. I know that my state is not right. Please enlighten and lead me to understand Your intention and learn my lesson.” After praying, I thought of these words of God: “When a person accepts God’s commission, God has a standard for judging whether their actions are good or bad, whether the person has submission, whether the person has satisfied God’s intentions, and whether their deeds and behavior are up to standard. What God values is the person’s heart, not their outward actions. It is not the case that God should bless someone as long as they do something, regardless of how they do it. This is a misunderstanding people have about God. God doesn’t just look at the final result; rather, He places great emphasis on how a person’s heart is and what their attitude is during the development of things, and looks at whether there is submission, consideration, and the willingness to satisfy God in their heart” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself I). After reading God’s words, I understood that there was a lesson for me to learn in the fact that the supervisor hadn’t arranged for me to join the team over the past few days. Although I had agreed to do this duty, in my heart, I hadn’t truly submitted, and God had not seen that my heart was sincere. God had hoped that when duty came my way, I would be able to consider His intentions, and accept the duty with a desire to submit to and satisfy Him, but I had only been thinking about my pride. I’d been afraid that I would be the weakest in the team and that I would lose face, so I wanted to back out. Even though I had accepted this duty reluctantly, in cooperating with others later on and seeing that I was not as good as them, I’d still end up wallowing in a state of negativity due to wanting to save face, and I might even abandon my duty. I felt how God scrutinizes the depths of man’s heart, and I also realized God’s painstaking intentions. I hadn’t been assigned to join the team over the past few days precisely to allow me to seek the truth, reflect, come to know myself, and resolve my corrupt disposition, so that I would no longer be bound by pride and status and could truly accept my duty. I couldn’t miss this opportunity to gain the truth, so I continued to pray and seek the truth to resolve my problems.

I read a passage of God’s words and gained some understanding of my problems. God says: “What does God mainly look at in a person? He looks at whether they can accept the truth and practice the truth, and what path they walk in their belief in God. How does God measure whether someone can practice the truth? He looks at whether they can seek the truth and rely on God when things happen to them. When they have difficulties and obstacles in their heart that affect their performance of duty and their practice of the truth, God looks at what they choose and what path they walk. For example, suppose you are given two duties to choose from. One allows you to be seen, is easy, and doesn’t involve any physical discomfort. The other is somewhat difficult, might be very strenuous to do, and might even be a thankless task; and if you don’t do it well, you will be pruned. You ponder it over: ‘Although doing that difficult duty would allow me to gain more of the truth and shoulder a burden for God’s house, and doing it would make me considerate of God’s intentions, it’s a thankless task. Although choosing this easy duty is not being considerate of God’s intentions, I won’t have to endure any hardship doing it. I’ll choose that one.’ If you choose like this, what will God say? God will ‘honor’ you with a single designation: ‘Slippery.’ Then you will be shunted aside, and God’s house will not use you” (God’s Fellowship). God exposes that when duty comes upon certain people, they only think about saving face and their own interests. Such people happily accept any duty that is easy and benefits their pride and status, but they will refuse any duty that might cause them to lose face, no matter how important it is. God says that to do so is being slippery and to try and play tricks on Him. This incurs God’s disgust and loathing and He will cast such people aside. Reading God’s words, I felt pierced to the heart. Wasn’t what God exposed exactly my current state? When the supervisor asked me for my resume, I was especially sensitive. I was terrified that I’d be promoted to the proofreading team, feeling that this duty would be too difficult and that the requirements would be high. I felt that if I went and was still worse than everyone else like before, I would lose face, and that if I ended up being pruned or dismissed, that would be even more humiliating. By comparison, screening experiential testimony articles in the church was pretty low pressure, and I could also gain the admiration of my brothers and sisters. So, I was unwilling to go to do my duty in the proofreading team, which was why I dragged my feet on providing my resume. When I found out I really did have to go to do my duty in the proofreading team, my heart churned even more, filling with resistance. I then wanted to find an excuse to turn it down, and even after agreeing to join the team, I still wanted to back out. When I was promoted, all I thought about was what I could do to save face. Was I not just being slippery and trying to play tricks on God? I was truly selfish and deceitful. I hadn’t considered God’s intentions at all, nor had I considered the interests of the church.

I began to reflect, “Why is it that as soon as my own pride and status are touched upon I cannot submit, and I can’t help but rebel against God?” I read a passage of God’s words and recognized the root of my problem. God says: “Antichrists’ cherishment of their reputation and status goes beyond that of ordinary people, and is something within their disposition essence; it is not a temporary interest, or the transient effect of their surroundings—it is something within their life, their bones, and so it is their essence. This is to say that in everything antichrists do, their first consideration is their own reputation and status, nothing else. For antichrists, reputation and status are their life, and the goal they pursue throughout their lives. In all they do, their first consideration is: ‘What will happen to my status? And to my reputation? Will doing this give me a good reputation? Will it elevate my status in people’s minds?’ That is the first thing they think about, which is ample proof that they have the disposition and essence of antichrists—and it’s because of this that they consider things this way. It can be said that for antichrists, reputation and status are not some additional requirement, much less things which are external to them that they could do without. They are part of the nature of antichrists, they are in their bones, in their blood, they are innate to them. Antichrists are not indifferent toward whether they possess reputation and status; this is not their attitude. Then, what is their attitude? Reputation and status are intimately connected to their daily lives, to their daily state, to what they pursue on a daily basis. For antichrists, status and reputation are their life. No matter how they live, no matter what environment they live in, no matter what work they do, no matter what they pursue, what their goals are, what their life’s direction is, it all revolves around having a good reputation and a high status. And this aim does not change; they can never put aside such things. This is the true face of antichrists, and their essence. You could put them in a primeval forest deep in the mountains, and still they would not let go of their pursuit of reputation and status. You could put them among any group of people, and all they can think about is still reputation and status. Although antichrists believe in God, they equate the pursuit of reputation and status with faith in God and place these two things on equal footing. Which is to say, as they walk the path of faith in God, they also pursue their own reputation and status. It can be said that in antichrists’ hearts, the pursuit of the truth in believing in God is the pursuit of reputation and status, and the pursuit of reputation and status is also the pursuit of the truth—to gain reputation and status is to gain the truth and life. If they feel that they have not obtained fame, gain, or status, that no one looks up to them, holds them in high regard, or follows them, then they become dejected, they believe there is no point in believing in God, no value to it, and they inwardly wonder, ‘Have I failed by believing in God like this? Is there no hope for me?’ They often calculate such things in their hearts. They calculate how they can carve a place out for themselves in the house of God, how they can have a lofty reputation in the church, how they can get people to listen when they talk, and to sing their praises when they act, how they can get people to follow them no matter where they are, and how they can have an influential voice in the church, and fame, gain, and status—they really focus on such things in their hearts. These are what such people pursue. Why are they always placing importance on such things? After reading the words of God, after hearing sermons, do they really not understand all this, are they really not able to discern all this? Are the words of God and the truth really not able to change their notions, ideas, and opinions? That is not the case at all. The problem lies in them, it is wholly because they do not love the truth, because, in their hearts, they are averse to the truth, and as a result, they are utterly unreceptive to the truth—which is determined by their nature essence” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). The exposure of God’s words filled me with shame and guilt. The disposition I was revealing was the same as that of an antichrist—I, too, was treating reputation and status as my very life. I was living by satanic poisons such as “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark,” “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies,” and “Better to be a big fish in a small pond.” I believed that no matter the situation, I could only live a life of prestige and dignity by gaining the admiration and approval of those around me. But being inferior to others in every way—that would be a stifling and pathetic way to live. When I was out in the world, I always preferred to associate with those who were inferior to me, feeling that this would allow me to stand out. I was unwilling to associate with those who were better than me, feeling that I would be inferior in their presence and unable to stand out. After starting to believe in God, I still held this view, treating the admiration of others as the goal of my pursuit and the value of my life, and no matter the time or place, all I thought about were my own face and status. When I did my duty in the proofreading team, and saw that the sisters I was cooperating with were better than me in every way and that I couldn’t compare with them, I felt stifled and miserable, and wallowed in torment. I was so negative that I didn’t have any heart to do my duty. After returning to the church to do my duty, not only did I fail to reflect on my problems, but I also continued to pursue reputation and status. When I saw I was better than others and my desire for pride and status was satisfied, I felt happy and really enjoyed that feeling. With this promotion, I was well aware that I should be considerate of God’s intentions and accept and submit, but because I was afraid of losing face and status, I was filled with resistance, and I kept wanting to refuse the duty. Even though I reluctantly accepted it, as soon as I thought about how I would be at the bottom of the team and inferior to others, it felt like my life was being taken away, and I felt despondent and listless. I even regretted accepting the duty and wanted to back out at the last minute. From beginning to end, the only things I had pursued were reputation and status, and I enjoyed being admired and supported by others. I was walking the path of an antichrist. God is supreme, yet He is humble and hidden, never showing off to be admired by others. I, a person deeply corrupted by Satan, full of filth, and with nothing worth praising, still always wanted others to admire me. I was truly shameless! I regarded reputation and status as more important than the truth, and more important than doing my duty as a created being. To preserve my face and status, I even wanted to refuse the duty; I truly had no humanity at all! I thought of how Paul always pursued reputation and status so that people would admire and worship him, but he did not pursue the truth or know himself. His disposition did not change in the slightest, nor did he have any real fear of or submission toward God. He even testified that for him to live was christ. Although he had a great reputation and he gained people’s admiration and worship, what he did offended God’s disposition, and he was a dyed-in-the-wool antichrist, and was ultimately eliminated by God and punished. If I did not repent, I could only end up being eliminated and punished like Paul. Realizing this, I prayed to God, “O God, in my heart, I refused my duty for the sake of reputation and status, and I have no real submission to You. I am truly unworthy of living before You. I am unwilling to live by Satan’s poisons any longer; I am willing to rebel against myself and practice the truth to satisfy You. Please lead me.”

Later, I read more of God’s words and learned how I should practice to accord with God’s intentions. God says: “None of you are performing your duty in God’s house right now by accident—no matter what background any one of you came from to perform your duty, it was not by chance. None of the people who perform duties in God’s house were randomly selected by some person; no matter what duty a person performs, it was preordained by God before the ages. … your height, your appearance, what your eyes look like, your figure, the state of your health, what your life experiences are and which duties you’re capable of shouldering at a certain age, and what sort of caliber and ability you possess—these were preordained for you by God long ago, and are certainly not being arranged now. God has long since preordained them for you, which is to say, if He intends to use you, He will have already prepared you before giving you this commission and this mission. So is it acceptable for you to run from it? Is it acceptable for you to be halfhearted about it? Both are unacceptable; that would be letting God down! It’s the worst kind of rebellion for people to forsake their duty. It is a heinous deed. God has put in painstaking thought, predestining since time immemorial for you to make it to today and be given this mission. Isn’t this mission your responsibility then? Isn’t it what gives value to living this life of yours? … Only when you’ve fulfilled your duty, you’ve completed God’s commission, you live your whole life for your mission and the commission God’s given you, you have a beautiful testimony, and you live a life that has value—only then are you a real person! And why do I say you’re a real person? Because God has selected you and had you perform your duty as a created being within His management. This is the greatest value and the greatest meaning in your life” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). “For all who perform a duty, no matter how profound or shallow their understanding of the truth is, the simplest practice for entering into the truth reality is to think of the interests of God’s house at every turn, letting go of their selfish desires, personal intents, motives, pride, and status, and putting the interests of God’s house first—this is the least they should do. If a person who performs a duty cannot even do this much, then how can they be said to be performing their duty? That is not performing one’s duty. You should first think of the interests of God’s house, be considerate of God’s intentions, and take the work of the church into account. Put these things first and foremost; only after that can you think about the stability of your status or how others regard you. Divide it into two steps, making a bit of a compromise—don’t you feel this makes things a little easier? If you practice like this for a while, you will come to feel that satisfying God is not a difficult thing. Furthermore, if you can fulfill your responsibilities; fulfill your obligations and duty; set aside your selfish desires, intents, and motives; show consideration for God’s intentions; and put the interests of God’s house, the work of the church, and the duty that you are supposed to perform first, then, after experiencing like this for a while, you will feel that conducting yourself in this way is good, that people should live in an honest and aboveboard manner, and that they shouldn’t lead a spineless, sordid, base existence, but rather they should be upstanding and just. You will feel that this is the image a person ought to live out. Gradually, your desire to satisfy your own interests will lessen” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Dispositions). Reading God’s words warmed my heart; I felt brightened and that I had a way forward. What my caliber is, what experiences I have, and what duties I do at a certain time—all of these things have been preordained by God long ago. Today, I’ve been promoted to do my duty in cooperation with brothers and sisters of better caliber than me. This wasn’t any individual’s arrangement, nor was any individual deliberately making things hard for me so I would lose face. This was all down to God’s sovereignty and arrangements, and as a created being, I should submit unconditionally, letting go of my own face and status and putting the church’s interests first. This is the only way to live in an open and aboveboard manner. Understanding God’s intentions and requirements, my heart felt at peace. I thought back to how I’d been doing text-based duty throughout these last few years and grasped some principles. Now, the supervisor arranged for me to do this duty in accordance with the principles. I had to let go of my own pride and interests, accept the duty, and do my utmost to do the work. If I was still the worst in the team despite my efforts, or if after a period of time I was dismissed again because I was not up to the duty, I would also accept and submit, unwilling to be bound and constrained by my pride anymore.

When I was reflecting on myself, I realized that I harbored a mistaken view. I always thought that since my caliber was poor, I definitely couldn’t do my duty well, which does not accord with the truth. I read God’s words: “You should consider this: Is understanding and obtaining the truth related to people’s looks, caliber, level of education, the background of their birth, age, family environment, strengths, or the professional skills they have mastered? You could say they are basically unrelated. Some people are of a somewhat poor caliber, but they themselves are very down-to-earth. They use as much energy as they have, not being slippery and deceptive, and they are conscientious and take responsibility for things. If they make mistakes, they are able to accept the truth and practice according to principles; when they have difficulties, they are able to seek the truth. The results of their performance of their duty keep improving, and although gifted people look down on them, God likes this kind of person. When God gives grace to people and allows them to understand the truth, He does not look at their appearance, their level of education, the quality of their caliber, or their eloquence—God does not look at any of this” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. By Giving One’s Heart to God, One Can Gain the Truth). “What should be the primary focus in believing in God? It doesn’t matter whether your caliber is high or low, whether you have spiritual understanding, or what kind of pruning you face—none of these are what’s most important. So what is the most important thing now? It is how you enter into the truth reality. In order to do so, what is the most basic thing a person should have? They must have a sincere heart. And what are the manifestations of having a sincere heart? When things happen to you, you don’t act in a slippery way, you don’t consider your own interests, you don’t scheme against others, and you don’t act with deceit toward God. If you attempt to deceive God and are not sincere toward Him, then you’re completely done for and God will not save you, so what’s the point of understanding the truth? … No matter how good your caliber appears to be on the outside, how shrewd, eloquent, or capable you are, or how good you are at handling problems, none of that is of any use. This is not what’s key. So, what is the key thing to consider? It’s whether someone’s heart loves the truth. It is not about listening to how they speak, but looking at what they do. God does not look at what you say or promise before Him; He looks at whether what you do has truth reality. God does not look at how lofty, profound, or grand your words are. Even if you do something small, if God sees your sincerity in your every move, He will say, ‘This person sincerely believes in Me. They have never made grand claims. They keep to their proper station. Although they have not made a great contribution to God’s house and are of poor caliber, in everything they do they are very grounded and have sincerity.’ What does this ‘sincerity’ contain? It contains fear and submission to God, as well as true faith and love—within it is everything that God wants to see” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). I saw from God’s words that caliber is not the most critical factor in whether you can do your duty well. Several brothers and sisters I had been in contact with in the past had quite good caliber. When they read the principles, they could not only understand the main points but also draw inferences, and many people envied and admired them. But their dispositions were especially arrogant, and they did not accept the truth in the slightest. When pruning came upon them, they became negative and resisted and even put on airs and gave up their duty, and were ultimately dismissed and eliminated. Some people had gifts, were eloquent, and were highly efficient in their work, but they were bent on pursuing reputation and status, suppressing and excluding those who disagreed with them and doing all manner of evil. In the end, they were expelled. On the other hand, although some brothers and sisters were of average caliber, they did their duty with a sincere heart, and could actually pay a price and put in effort. They conscientiously did every single thing well, and were able to summarize their deviations and turn them around promptly, so they got better and better at doing their duty. Thinking back, my previous dismissal was not entirely because my caliber wasn’t up to par, but because I was not attending to my proper affairs and was only pursuing reputation and status. I was only dismissed because when I was pruned, I did not accept it or turn things around. Actually, although my caliber is average, God has not treated me unfairly, and when I rectified my intentions, put my heart into my duty, and paid a price, I could also feel God’s guidance and understand some principles—so it was not the case that I wasn’t up to par at all. That I had the chance to be promoted again to do my duty in this team was God’s grace, and I should strive to do my duty well to repay God’s love. I thought of more of God’s words: “The functions are not the same. There is one body. Each of you should do your duty, and each of you should be in your place doing your very best—for each spark there should be one flash of light—and you should seek maturity in life. Thus will I be satisfied” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 21). God’s words brightened my heart even more. The caliber and strengths God gives to each person are different, and everyone has strengths and shortcomings. If you are able to find your own place and perform your function well while pursuing the truth and focusing on life entry, then God is satisfied with this. Although my caliber is average, I am willing to cooperate harmoniously with the brothers and sisters, making up for my deficiencies with their strengths and doing all that I can; focus on reflecting on myself and pursuing the truth in my duty; and willingly submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, using my actual experiences to bear testimony for God. Thinking this way, my heart felt very at ease, and I could face my duty with serenity.

After joining the team, I saw that the team leader, Xiao Ran, had a flexible mind and was quick to react, and was also highly efficient in her work; another sister, Wang Li, was in poor health but had good caliber and strong work capability. Despite her illness, she did more work than the team leader and I combined. I felt that I could never catch up to her, and felt boundless envy. When the supervisor fellowshipped on principles and communicated with us about the work, I had a distinct feeling that my reactions were slower than those of the others. When we looked at articles together, Xiao Ran often spotted the problems before I did; I always felt that I was a cut below everyone else. Not only could Xiao Ran easily complete her own work every day, but she even helped process letters within my scope of responsibility. In contrast, I was always flustered, unable to finish even the work and handle the letters within my own scope of responsibility. The supervisor encouraged and comforted me, saying that it was normal to not know where to start and be flustered at first, and that things would be fine once I got used to it. But I thought to myself, “The two sisters I’m cooperating with have good caliber and are highly efficient, while I just can’t keep up with them. No matter how hard I try, I won’t be able to surpass them. It’s clear—I’m definitely going to be at the bottom of the team again.” When I thought about living with a dunce’s cap on my head every day in the future, my heart was a bit distressed, and I felt repressed and irritable. At this point, I realized that I was living within pride and status again. I then prayed to God, “O God, my corruption is too deep, and I am too severely bound by reputation and status. I need Your salvation. Please lead me to rebel against myself and practice the truth.” After my prayer, I read God’s words: “You must have a mindset of submitting to God and pursuing the truth, and have the willingness to proactively submit to God, and you must not oppose Him. Even if God blesses others but does not bless you, or if God obviously enlightens and guides others but does not enlighten and guide you, or if He promotes others but does not promote you, you should not be angry or jealous. Why is this? God acting in this way has its purpose and significance, and He has the freedom to act however He wishes. You must never forget that you are a created being, and you cannot make unreasonable demands of God. If God uses others and does not use you, and does not let you be a leader, then you should just be a follower; it is right for you to just submit to God. It may be that you are unable to take on the church’s work because your caliber falls short of it, or it may be that you simply do not possess this stature. If you were asked to take on the work, and God gave you more enlightenment than others, it would be likely to fuel your arrogant disposition. Therefore, the fact that God has not enlightened you or let you be a leader is a form of protection for you; you must understand God’s painstaking intentions. God absolutely does not harbor ulterior motives toward you; instead, He has painstaking intentions. You must have submission to God; even if you do not understand, you should submit, and you should submit to the very end. … God has His freedom in how He acts, but some people have no reason and always make demands of God. They say, ‘God is not righteous. Why does He let that person stand out and be seen? Why does He use them and not me?’ If you were used, could you do the work well? You always want to stand out and be seen, and show off; if you were used, it would only serve to strengthen your corrupt dispositions. The house of God’s choice to use or not use someone is based on the truth principles. When you find yourself in this situation, you must submit and seek the truth. If, through seeking the truth, reflecting on yourself, and dissecting yourself, you see that your desire and ambition for status and prestige is still very strong, then you should realize that it is completely reasonable for God to use others and not use you, and that it is also a form of protection for you. Regardless of whether it accords with your notions, and regardless of whether you can accept it, in short, you should adopt the perspective and place of a created being and keep an attitude of submission, or at least the willingness to submit” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (32)). God’s words brightened my heart straight away, and I also understood God’s painstaking intentions. Because my desire for reputation and status was too strong, I really enjoyed that feeling of being admired by others when the brothers and sisters would come to me with any questions about screening articles in the church. This caused my arrogant disposition to swell more and more, and I became self-satisfied and made no effort to progress. Now, facing people who are better than me, I am finally able to see my true stature clearly and recognize my own deficiencies. This can spur me on to equip myself more with truth principles and make progress in doing my duty. This is also a good opportunity for me to seek the truth and for my life to grow. If I hadn’t experienced this promotion, I would still be praising myself, shamelessly enjoying the admiration of others. What God has done is so beneficial to me and is protecting me; I am willing to submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, focus on pursuing the truth, put more effort into the principles, draw on others’ strengths to make up for my own deficiencies, and shoulder my duty as soon as possible.

Later, Xiao Ran was able to point out some deviations in all of the articles I submitted, and whenever I asked her about difficulties I encountered, she could always answer easily. Whenever these things happened, I would still feel I was very inadequate, and would even miss the days when I did my duty in the church and was envied and admired by others. However, I could consciously pray to rebel against the flesh and not be constrained by face, knowing that everything God arranges is best. My comprehension ability is poor, and being able to understand principles and gain some things through others’ fellowship is God’s grace. Although these things coming upon me revealed many of my deficiencies and shortcomings, I learned to pray to God more when things happen to me, let go of my pride, and seek advice from brothers and sisters more. Through everyone’s help, I gained a clearer understanding of truth principles in various aspects, and I have made some progress compared to before, both in doing my duty and my life entry. I thank God from my heart!