By Daisy, South Korea

In October of 2021, I was practicing as a video work supervisor. I was partnered with Brother Leo and Sister Claire. They’d both been doing this duty for longer than me and had much more experience, and they took the lead in following up on and attending to a lot of the work. I’d also only just begun to practice and there were many aspects of the work that I didn’t understand, so naturally, I only took on a small role. I felt that so long as there weren’t any problems with my work, things would be fine and the others could step in and resolve everything else. That way, I could worry less and I wouldn’t be held accountable by anyone. Gradually, I shouldered less and less of a burden and I ended up understanding and participating in very little of the other two’s work. Whenever we’d discuss work I wouldn’t express any opinions, and in my spare time I’d take it easy and watch secular videos. I felt like doing my duty like this was just fine.

One day, around noon, a leader suddenly came to me and told me that Leo and Claire were going elsewhere to do their duty, and that I’d have to bear more responsibility, put in more effort, and take over the video work. This sudden change left me momentarily dumbstruck. I’d not been in this duty for long, and there was so much work to be followed up on, wasn’t this a lot of pressure? The work they were responsible for was pretty complicated and required constant attention. It would require me to seek out materials to guide those who were lacking in skills. Leo and Claire were pretty skilled and were normally very busy. Since I’d just started, surely I’d need to put in even more time. Would I ever have any down time again? If I couldn’t shoulder this responsibility and delayed the work, wouldn’t I commit a transgression? I thought it’d be better for the leader to find somebody more suitable for this responsibility. Seeing that I wasn’t saying anything, the leader asked what was on my mind. I felt very resistant and didn’t want to say anything. After we’d finished discussing work, I just left. When I thought about all the problems and hardships I’d have to shoulder all by myself, I felt suffocated by the pressure and that the days ahead of me would be unbearable. No matter how I looked at it, I still didn’t feel up to this job. The leader then sent me a message asking about my state, to which I quickly replied: “I don’t feel up to taking on this work. Maybe you can find somebody more suitable?” The leader then asked me: “On what basis do you judge yourself to be unsuitable?” I really didn’t know how to respond to this question. I hadn’t even tried yet, and didn’t know if I was up to the task. But thinking about the pressure of the work and the physical toll it would take had made me want to refuse. Was this not shirking responsibility and refusing my duty? Then I thought about how all the things I faced each day were permitted by God and that I should submit. So I prayed to God: “God, my two partners are being transferred and I’m being left to take on all the work by myself. I feel resistant and unwilling to submit. I know that this kind of state is incorrect, but I don’t understand Your will. Please enlighten and guide me, so that I may know myself and submit.”

Later on, a sister sent me a passage of God’s word that really spoke to my state. God says: “What are the manifestations of an honest person? Firstly, having no doubts about God’s words. That is one of the manifestations of an honest person. Apart from this, the most important manifestation is seeking and practicing the truth in all matters—this is most crucial. You say that you are honest, but you always push God’s words to the back of your mind and just do whatever you want. Is that the manifestation of an honest person? You say, ‘Although my caliber is poor, I have an honest heart.’ And yet when a duty falls to you, you are afraid of suffering and bearing responsibility if you do not do it well, so you make excuses to shirk your duty or suggest that someone else do it. Is this the manifestation of an honest person? Clearly, it is not. How, then, should an honest person behave? They should submit to God’s arrangements, be devoted to the duty they are supposed to perform, and strive to satisfy God’s will. This manifests itself in several ways: One is accepting your duty with an honest heart, not considering your fleshly interests, not being half-hearted about it, and not plotting for your own benefit. Those are manifestations of honesty. Another is putting all your heart and strength into performing your duty well, doing things properly, and putting your heart and love into your duty to satisfy God. These are the manifestations an honest person should have while performing their duty. If you do not carry out what you know and understand, and if you only put in 50 or 60 percent of your effort, then you are not putting all your heart and strength into it. Rather, you are sly and slacking off. Are people who perform their duties in this way honest? Absolutely not. God has no use for such slippery and deceitful people; they must be cast out. God only uses honest people to perform duties. Even devoted service-doers must be honest. People who are perennially careless, perfunctory, sly and looking for ways to slack off are all deceitful, and are all demons. None of them truly believe in God, and they shall all be cast out. Some people think, ‘Being an honest person is just about telling the truth and not telling lies. It’s easy to be an honest person, really.’ What do you think of this sentiment? Is being an honest person so limited in scope? Absolutely not. You must reveal your heart and give it to God; this is the attitude an honest person ought to have. That is why an honest heart is very precious. What does this imply? That an honest heart can control your behavior and change your state. It can lead you to make the right choices, and to submit to God and gain His approval. A heart like this is truly precious. If you have an honest heart like this, then that is the state you should live in, that is how you should behave, and that is how you should give of yourself” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s word made me feel so ashamed. When faced with their duty, honest people are not concerned about the risk that undertaking their duty might entail, much less do they shirk or refuse their duty because they fear suffering. Rather, they start by accepting and putting their all into it. Only this is an honest attitude. Then I thought about my attitude toward my duty. As soon as I heard my two partners were transferring, I worried about my workload increasing, my worries multiplying, and the pressure on me growing. If the work wasn’t done well, I’d have to take responsibility for it, and so I tried to use the excuse of being unqualified to shirk my responsibility. I was truly deceitful and lacking in conscience. I thought about how in prayer, I always pledged to heed God’s burdens, but when it actually came down to it, I heeded my flesh instead, didn’t practice any of the truths, and just used empty words to deceive God. If I really heeded God’s will, knew that I wasn’t up to the work, and couldn’t find anyone else suitable, then I should have intensified the honing of my skills and cooperated with the others to prevent the video work being impacted. This is what a person with conscience and humanity should do. If in the end I really weren’t up to the task and ended up getting transferred or dismissed, then I would just submit to God’s arrangements. Only this way of practicing is rational. I felt a little calmer at this thought.

Later, I read a passage of God’s word which gave me some understanding of the attitude I’d had toward my duty. God says: “All who do not pursue the truth perform their duties with a mindset lacking in responsibility. ‘If someone leads, I follow; wherever they lead, I go. I’ll do whatever they’d have me do. As for taking on responsibility and concern, or taking more trouble to do something, doing something with all my heart and strength—I’m not up for that.’ These people are unwilling to pay the price. They are only willing to exert themselves, not to take on responsibility. This is not the attitude with which one truly performs a duty. One must learn to put their heart into their performance of their duty, and a person with a conscience can accomplish this. If one never puts their heart into the performance of their duty, that means they have no conscience, and those without a conscience cannot gain the truth. Why do I say they cannot gain the truth? They do not know how to pray to God and seek the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment, nor how to show consideration for God’s will, nor how to put their heart into contemplating God’s words, nor do they know how to seek the truth, how to seek to understand God’s requirements and His will. This is what it is to not be able to seek the truth. Do you experience states where, no matter what happens, or what sort of duty you perform, you are able to frequently quiet yourself before God, and to put your heart into contemplating His words, and into seeking the truth, and into considering how you must perform that duty to accord with God’s will, and which truths you should possess in order to perform that duty satisfactorily? Are there many times in which you seek the truth in this way? (No.) Putting your heart into your duty and being able to take on responsibility require you to suffer and to pay a price—it is not enough simply to talk about these things. If you do not put your heart into your duty, always wanting to labor instead, then your duty will certainly not be done well. You will simply go through the motions and nothing more, and you will not know whether you have done your duty well or not. If you put your heart into it, you will gradually come to understand the truth; if you do not, then you will not. When you put your heart into performing your duty and pursuing the truth, you will gradually come to understand God’s will, to discover your own corruption and deficiencies, and to master all your various states. When your only focus is on exerting effort, and you do not put your heart into reflecting on yourself, you will be unable to discover the true states in your heart and the myriad reactions and the revelations of corruption that you have in different environments. If you do not know what the consequences will be when problems go unresolved, then you’re in a lot of trouble. This is why it’s no good to believe in God in a confused way. You must live before God at all times, in all places; whatever befalls you, you must always seek the truth, and while you do, you must also reflect on yourself and know what problems there are in your state, seeking the truth at once to resolve them. Only thus can you perform your duty well and avoid delaying the work. Not only will you be able to perform your duty well, what’s most important is that you will also have life entry and be able to resolve your corrupt dispositions. Only thus can you enter the truth reality. If what you often ponder in your heart is not matters related to your duty, or matters that have to do with the truth, and instead, you are entangled in external things, with your thoughts on affairs of the flesh, will you be able to understand the truth? Will you be able to perform your duty well and live before God? Certainly not. A person like that cannot be saved” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only an Honest Person Can Live Out True Human Likeness). God was really painting a picture of me in His exposure of this type of attitude. When I started on this duty, I didn’t take on any responsibility. I saw that my partners had more experience than me, so I just slipped into the background, and I felt things were fine so long as I could ensure nothing went wrong with my own work. If I did this, then I’d look respectable and not have to tire myself out, so I just focused on my own work and never concerned myself with the work they were responsible for, nor did I take seriously the problems or difficulties that arose in it. When the leader asked why the work of our group was so inefficient, I didn’t have an answer. This kind of attitude is the same way unbelievers treat their jobs. In what way was I heeding God’s will in my duty? When problems came up in work, I wouldn’t seek the truth or summarize the deviations, nor would I consider how to increase efficiency. I always felt that so long as my fellow workers could take them on, I could relax a little. Whenever I’d have time, I’d indulge my flesh or watch secular videos. I became more and more dissolute and grew ever further from God. I saw that I had no diligence in my duty. I was just treating it like a job. How could I perform my duty well like this? At this point I finally realized that God’s arrangements had caused my “fallbacks” to leave to give me a chance to practice, to learn to feel concern, to actively shoulder responsibility, to rely on God in difficulties, and seek the truth principles. More importantly, this allowed me to recognize that my slack and irresponsible attitude toward my duty was incurring God’s disgust. The pressures of the work would now compel me to be more diligent in my duty and to work toward adequately performing my duty. Having understood God’s intentions, I was willing to submit to these circumstances. Over the next few days, I consciously took greater pains in my work. Once I discovered issues in the video work, I noted them down and sought to resolve them. I made a study plan and strove to take over the work as soon as possible. Once my state had been adjusted, I had more time for my work, and I spent my days feeling more at peace.

Later, I was partnered up with another sister. To begin with, I was still mindful of being more responsible, but after a while, I found that she was pretty skilled and that she had more professional expertise than I did, so I handed some tasks over to her and then did not involve myself any further. Sometimes, to keep up my reputation, I’d participate in discussions but refrain from making suggestions, thinking: “Seeing as you can handle things, there’s no need for me to worry and I can take it easy for a while.” My leader cautioned me to show greater concern for the work, and for a few days after she said this, I did, but before long, I was back to my old ways. Sometimes brothers and sisters would send us messages about tricky issues that had emerged in the work that needed to be resolved right away, but as soon as I’d see it was work my sister was mainly following up on, I wouldn’t want to bother. I’d deliberately mark the message as unread and pretend not to have seen it, thinking my sister could handle it later. Though I felt this was irresponsible, since the work progress was normal, I didn’t spare it much thought. A few months later, we became responsible for separate parts of the video work. This time, I was without a helper and I knew that I was certain to face many difficulties and problems. But when I thought about my lack of responsibility in my duty, and about how this could be good for me, I told myself that I should start by submitting. But when I actually started, I found that I suddenly had a lot more to follow up on, and the number of things I had to handle each day felt endless. On top of that, my professional skills were not great and more and more problems kept revealing themselves. Every video we made received suggestions and I had to put thought into responding to each one. Gradually, the little enthusiasm I had had was all used up, and I’d often wonder to myself, “I’m already trying so hard but there are still so many issues, maybe it’d be better if the leader found somebody more suitable.” Shortly after, a number of our videos got sent back to be redone in a row and I felt even more depressed. I no longer wanted to resolve the tricky issues I was faced with and I yearned all the more for those days when I was partnered with others in my duty, when I could just blithely hide behind them, and didn’t have to take on so much pressure. I’d felt no drive to do my duty, when I walked my legs felt heavy. It was then I realized that I couldn’t keep doing my duty in this state, so I prayed to God. Through seeking, I suddenly remembered Noah. He encountered many difficulties and failures as he built the ark, but he never gave up, and kept going for 120 years, eventually finishing the ark and completing God’s commission. But in the face of my few difficulties, I wanted to offload my burden and head for the hills. Wasn’t I just being a coward? At this thought, I pulled myself together somewhat and was able to face my work problems properly.

During my devotionals, I read this passage of God’s word: “All false leaders never do practical work, and they act like their leadership role is some official post, thoroughly enjoying the perks of their status. The duty that ought to be performed and work that ought to be done by a leader they treat as an encumbrance, as a bother. In their hearts, they brim with defiance toward the work of the church: If you have them keep an eye on the work or find out issues that exist within it that need to be followed up on and resolved, they are full of reluctance. This is the work that leaders and workers are supposed to do, this is their job. If you don’t do it—if you are unwilling to do it—why do you still want to be a leader or worker? Do you perform your duty in order to be mindful of God’s will, or in order to be an official and enjoy the trappings of status? Is it not shameless to be a leader if you just wish to hold some official position? No one is of lower character—these people have no self-respect, they are without shame. If you wish to enjoy fleshly ease, hurry back to the world and strive for it, grab it, and snatch it as you are able. No one will interfere. God’s house is a place for God’s chosen people to perform their duties and worship Him; it is a place for people to pursue the truth and to be saved. It is not some place for anyone to relish in fleshly ease, much less a place that coddles people. … No matter what work some people do or what duty they perform, they are incapable of succeeding at it, it is too much for them, they are incapable of fulfilling any of the obligations or responsibilities that people ought to. Are they not trash? Are they still worthy of being called people? With the exception of simpletons, the mentally handicapped, and those who suffer from physical impairments, is there anyone alive who ought not to perform their duties and fulfill their responsibilities? But this kind of person is always conniving and playing dirty, and does not wish to fulfill their responsibilities; the implication is that they do not wish to conduct themselves like a proper person. God gave them caliber and gifts, He gave them the opportunity to be a human being, yet they cannot use these in performing their duty. They do nothing, but wish to enjoy everything. Is such a person fit to be called a human being? No matter what work is given to them—whether it be important or ordinary, difficult or simple—they are always careless and perfunctory, always lazy and slippery. When problems arise, they try to push responsibility for them onto other people; they take no responsibility, wishing to keep living their parasitic lives. Are they not useless trash? In society, who does not have to depend on themselves for survival? Once a person is grown, they must provide for themselves. Their parents have fulfilled their responsibility. Even if their parents were willing to support them, they would be uneasy with it, and ought to be able to recognize, ‘My parents have finished their job of raising children. I’m an adult, and I’m able-bodied—I should be able to live independently.’ Is this not the minimum sense that an adult ought to have? If someone truly has sense, they could not continue mooching off their parents; they would be afraid of others’ laughter, of being shamed. So, does an idle loafer have sense? (No.) They always want something for nothing, they never want to take responsibility, they are looking for a free lunch, they want three square meals a day—and for someone to wait on them, and for the food to be delicious—without doing any work. Is this not the mindset of a parasite? And do people who are parasites have conscience and sense? Do they have dignity and integrity? Absolutely not; they are all freeloading good-for-nothings, all beasts without conscience or reason. None of them are fit to remain in God’s house” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (8)). God’s word compelled me to reflect: Monitoring and understanding the problems in the work, and seeking the truth to resolve them is the job of a leader and worker, but false leaders see this as an encumbrance. This shows that they are not here to perform their duty, but rather to enjoy the trappings of officialdom. I saw that my behavior was also like this. I should have taken responsibility for and resolved the problems and difficulties that emerged, I should have taken this opportunity to seek the truth and make up for my own shortcomings, which would have allowed me to progress faster. But I wanted to refuse my duty because there were too many difficulties. As a supervisor, I didn’t do any real work or resolve any real problems. Was this not just me craving the benefits of status? Looking back on my behavior, though it may have looked like I was doing work when I had partners, the work was in fact divided among several of us, and I wasn’t responsible for all that much. My duty was easy, so I was actually having a really easy time. When my two partners were transferred, the work pressure really piled on, I needed to suffer to shoulder my responsibility, and so I became resistant, even to the point of wanting to betray God and refuse my duty. Later, although I made amends to my state by eating and drinking God’s word, when I was partnered with a sister with more experience than me, I took on less responsibility again, and I spent my days performing my duty leisurely, unwilling to worry myself. When I was made solely responsible for video work this time and the difficulties mounted, I wanted to run again. I saw that my attitude toward my duty had been so treacherous and that I was ready to excuse myself at the first sign of physical hardship or responsibility. I’d always wanted to switch into an easy and stress-free job, but the truth is, all jobs have some difficulties, and if I didn’t resolve my corrupt disposition, I wouldn’t be able to do any duty properly. I saw that I was sick of the truth by nature and that I didn’t love positive things. I wasn’t there to fulfill a duty, but rather to enjoy blessings. In the end, nothing comes of this kind of faith! In particular, I read in God’s word: “They always want something for nothing, they never want to take responsibility, they are looking for a free lunch, they want three square meals a day—and for someone to wait on them, and for the food to be delicious—without doing any work. Is this not the mindset of a parasite?” I was exactly the type of person God was revealing, I only wanted to reap but never sow, and to enjoy the fruits of others’ labor. Wasn’t I just trash then? The more I thought, the more nauseating I found myself. In the past, the people I had hated the most were those freeloaders who still mooch off their parents, fully grown adults who don’t leave the house, who take advantage of their parents, and take on no responsibilities. They are good-for-nothings. But how was my current behavior any different from theirs? In my self-reproachment, I prayed to God: “Oh God, I finally see that I am truly selfish and insincere in my duty. I have only ever thought about my own flesh and wanted to be a parasite. I am truly terrified by these depraved thoughts. There is so much work in the church that needs urgent cooperation, but I’m not trying to make progress or to take on any burdens. I’m trash.”

I went on to do some thinking. Why was it that I always wanted to flee and refuse my duty whenever the pressure and difficulties mounted in my work? What exactly was the root cause of this? In my seeking, I read the words of God: “Today, you do not believe the words I say, and you pay no attention to them; when the day comes for this work to spread and you see the entirety of it, you will regret, and at that time you will be dumbfounded. There are blessings, yet you do not know to enjoy them, and there is the truth, yet you do not pursue it. Do you not bring contempt upon yourself? Today, although the next step of God’s work has yet to begin, there is nothing exceptional about the demands that are made of you and what you are asked to live out. There is so much work, and so many truths; are they not worthy of being known by you? Is God’s chastisement and judgment incapable of awakening your spirit? Is God’s chastisement and judgment incapable of making you hate yourself? Are you content to live under the influence of Satan, with peace and joy, and a little fleshly comfort? Are you not the lowliest of all people? None are more foolish than those who have beheld salvation but do not pursue to gain it; these are people who gorge themselves on the flesh and enjoy Satan. You hope that your faith in God will not entail any challenges or tribulations, or the slightest hardship. You always pursue those things that are worthless, and you attach no value to life, instead putting your own extravagant thoughts before the truth. You are so worthless! You live like a pig—what difference is there between you, and pigs and dogs? Are those who do not pursue the truth, and instead love the flesh, not all beasts? Are those dead ones without spirits not all walking corpses? How many words have been spoken among you? Has only a little work been done among you? How much have I provided among you? So why have you not gained it? What do you have to complain of? Is it not the case that you have gained nothing because you are too in love with the flesh? And is it not because your thoughts are too extravagant? Is it not because you are too stupid? If you are incapable of gaining these blessings, can you blame God for not saving you? What you pursue is to be able to gain peace after believing in God, for your children to be free from illness, for your husband to have a good job, for your son to find a good wife, for your daughter to find a decent husband, for your oxen and horses to plow the land well, for a year of good weather for your crops. This is what you seek. Your pursuit is only to live in comfort, for no accidents to befall your family, for the winds to pass you by, for your face to be untouched by grit, for your family’s crops to not be flooded, for you to be unaffected by any disaster, to live in God’s embrace, to live in a cozy nest. A coward such as you, who always pursues the flesh—do you have a heart, do you have a spirit? Are you not a beast? I give you the true way without asking for anything in return, yet you do not pursue. Are you one of those who believe in God? I bestow real human life upon you, yet you do not pursue. Are you no different from a pig or a dog? Pigs do not pursue the life of man, they do not pursue being cleansed, and they do not understand what life is. Each day, after eating their fill, they simply sleep. I have given you the true way, yet you have not gained it: You are empty-handed. Are you willing to continue in this life, the life of a pig? What is the significance of such people being alive? Your life is contemptible and ignoble, you live amid filth and licentiousness, and you do not pursue any goals; is your life not the most ignoble of all? Do you have the gall to look upon God? If you continue to experience in this way, will you not acquire nothing? The true way has been given to you, but whether or not you can ultimately gain it depends on your own personal pursuit” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). From the stern words of God, I felt that God holds the utmost disgust and antipathy for people who crave comfort, that to Him, they are just animals. They are idle loafers, unwilling to work to make progress, fond of idling about, and ultimately, they perform no duty properly and gain no truth. They are trash. This was how I was. I liked my duty to go smoothly, and so long as I had a duty and I didn’t get dismissed or cast out, things were fine. But as soon as I was faced with difficulties that required me to suffer or pay a price, I’d shrink back. I just wanted to pick jobs that were simple and straightforward, and I upheld the satanic life principles of “Enjoy life whilst you’re alive” and “Treat yourself well.” Because of the dominance of these thoughts and views, I always craved comfort and was annoyed whenever the work I was responsible for piled up, worrying that it would cut into my leisure time. When I needed to learn some more skills, I didn’t really pay a price for it. As a result, after a while, I hadn’t made much progress on my skills and couldn’t handle the work. I even sometimes neglected my duties and watched secular videos under the pretense of learning skills, becoming ever number and darker in spirit. As a supervisor, when problems appeared in the work, I should have actively followed up and resolved them, but as soon as I saw the problems were a little tricky, I just used some tricks to ignore them, delaying the progress of the work. Even more serious was my constant will to find somebody to take my place and relieve the pressure on me. I knew that making videos was very important, yet I’d satisfy my flesh and flee at every crucial moment, not taking on any responsibility. I was just like a child whose parents had raised them to adulthood, but when the time comes to sacrifice for their family, they fear suffering and are unwilling to take on responsibility. This kind of person has no conscience and is a thankless wretch. I thought about how my behavior had been just like this. God had guided me to this point and had also graced me, allowing me to perform such an important duty, yet I always feared suffering and only heeded my flesh. I had no conscience whatsoever! I always complained about the hardships of my duty and loathed to part with my physical comforts. Not only was I losing my chance to gain the truth, but I was also making a mess of my duty and leaving nothing behind me but transgressions. Eventually, I was certain to be rejected and cast out by God!

I started seeking a path of practice. I read the words of God: “Suppose the church gives you a job to do, and you say, ‘Whether the job is a chance to stand out or not—since it’s been given to me, I’ll do it well. I will take on this responsibility. If I’m assigned to reception, I’ll give my all to receiving people well; I’ll look after the brothers and sisters well, and do my best to maintain everyone’s safety. If I’m assigned to spread the gospel, I’ll equip myself with the truth and lovingly spread the gospel and perform my duty well. If I’m assigned to learn a foreign language, I’ll study it diligently and work hard at it, and learn it well as quickly as possible, within a year or two, so that I can testify of God to foreigners. If I’m asked to write testimony articles, I’ll conscientiously train myself to do so and view things according to the truth principles; I’ll learn about language, and though I may not be able to write articles with beautiful prose, I’ll at least be able to clearly communicate my experiential testimony, to fellowship comprehensibly about the truth, and to give true testimony for God, such that when people read my articles, they’re edified and benefited. Whatever job the church assigns me, I’ll take it up with all my heart and strength. If there’s something I don’t understand or a problem comes up, I’ll pray to God, seek the truth, resolve problems according to the truth principles, and do the thing well. Whatever my duty, I’ll use everything I have to perform it well and satisfy God. For whatever I can achieve, I will do my best to take on all the responsibility that is mine to bear, and at the least, I will not go against my conscience and reason, or be careless and perfunctory, or be wily and truant, or enjoy the fruits of others’ labor. Nothing I do will be beneath the standards of conscience.’ This is the minimum standard of human comportment, and one who performs their duty in such a way may qualify as a conscientious, reasonable person. You must at least be clear of conscience in performing your duty, and you must feel at least that you earn your three meals a day and are not scrounging for them. This is called a sense of responsibility. Whether your caliber is high or low, and whether or not you understand the truth, you must have this attitude: ‘Since this work was given me to do, I must treat it seriously; I must make it my concern and do it well, with all my heart and strength. As for whether I can do it perfectly well, I can’t presume to offer a guarantee, but my attitude is that I’ll do my best to see it done well, and I certainly won’t be careless and perfunctory about it. If a problem arises in work, I should take responsibility then, and ensure I draw a lesson from it and perform my duty well.’ This is the right attitude. Do you have such an attitude?” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (8)). God’s words really inspired me. Since the church put me in charge of this work, I had to assume all the responsibilities an adult is capable of taking on. No matter how high my caliber, how capable I was at my work, or the number of difficulties I faced in my duty, I couldn’t shrink back, I had to press on and put my all into taking on this work. Later, whenever we’d finish making a video and receive others’ suggestions, no matter if it was a problem I wasn’t aware of or that I didn’t know how to handle, I’d always actively seek out a path to solve it or try to find some people with experience that I could consult. Gradually, I became more familiar with these skills and clearer on principles. Before, whenever there’d be a tricky problem, I’d habitually foist it onto one of my partners to handle, not reply promptly to messages in the group chat, and drag my feet. Now, I’m able to actively take on responsibility and shoulder more of a burden in my duty. Though there would be difficulties in the course of our cooperation, when I attentively rely on God, and through discussion with everyone, the path we should take becomes ever clearer.

It was only after this experience that I realized how selfish and deceitful I was, that I was treacherous and lazy in my duty, unwilling to shoulder responsibility. When I fixed my attitude, and was willing to be mindful of God’s burden and put my all into cooperating, I saw God’s leadership and guidance, I gained faith within me, and I became willing to practice being a rational and conscientious person that attends to their duties.